How this conversation escalated was a weird experience.
One moment I was silent, listening carefully to the steps that were made by Dean shuffling around the room. Searching for a plan, a way out.
Hearing Sam still breathing in my neck after picking up his laptop and clicking his life away.
And then we are here, my head pounding, my voice yelling almost reaching its peak and I was on the edge of hitting the one who made that option available and the best one possible.
If English wasn't my mother language I would be shouting in French, Spanish, Italian, even Swedish. Just to let him see how stupid and selfish he made himself look.

How a father could ask this to her daughter.
"Lucy, you have to calm down !"
Asking her to leave her beloved ones. Losing her family, to save them instead. Losing everything for a full hundred percent for survival.
"I know this doesn't sound fair….!"
And his looks didn't show any remorse, for him it was just a simple calculation. One who drags the problems plus a family that loves that person equals everyone in danger equals more chance of someone dying.
One who drags the problems minus a family that loves that person equals one to save equals one to survive while the others don't know.
"But what! That sentence didn't show empathy OR symphaty ! You showed how shallow your kind could be."
"Lucy, human kind isn't a shallow breed, neither are hunters. They show a specu-"
"Don't you dare even go against me about being shallow !" I yelled back.
I was having none of his calculations or facts of the day. He was a terrible teacher right now. And the hunters were the storytellers in this equation.

Wouldn't it be better to just ask my family to leave this country, hell even this side of the earth, and built a new home without me while I sorted this all out.
No, they have to live with the constant reminder that her daughter has been murdered by some old freak near the gas station with a rifle.
Cameras were overexposed at that time by some 'technical corruption', and no one would ever ask anything further.
Case closed.

And all the questions could be answered with a straight face.

The body ?
The body was found near a lake in the forest the next morning. Her jewels for example: ring, were not found with the corpse.

Who did it ?
The one that has done this crime wasn't found yet, and they have to keep the body for examination to identify the pattern of the murderer.

Did the girl suffer ?
She would've possibly suffered from severe pain and massive blood lost. Although she didn't suffer long.

And Castiel was going to bring over the message with his grace. Ironic when I thought about it.
The one who created this child, came to tell that she passed away.
I already saw my mom lie in her couch with my brother in her arms while listening to Castiel. My brother was old enough to sit alone and he was in this phase where didn't need anyone's help, he was an individual man who would disappear in his room where would hang 'don't even think about coming in'.
But at those times, on these occasions, I could see him crawling up with my mother. Both holding each other dearly, supporting and comforting.
Since Castiel never popped up in those four years, he wouldn't bring a feeling with him that he was here to restore his relations with everyone.

My mother never lost her temper, she was more of the parent who could scare you when she was extra silent. That meant you did something wrong. It would push ourselves to find the thing that caused it and gather our confidence to look her straight in the eyes and tell her one of us was sorry for what we did.
For me it was hell whenever saw her like that. It was even worse than yelling. But that was the reason why she did it, it had a better impact and a better effect.
And yet, this time, she will make the exception. Only when my brother isn't in sight, there wasn't one cell in her body that would let her explode when her kids could see her in this state.
I know, she did the same for the other 'bad' emotions. Hiding those feelings whenever she was lonely or feeling lost when I was acting like a spoiled brat a few years back and saying that my dad was right leaving her because she couldn't show me the respect and love I deserved. Which was utterly stupid, and I would hit my head against a pinned wall if it was the case to take that all back.

Some glasses and vases will be shattered across the room, possibly some cursing against my biological father. That he had to protect me and helped me in any case like this.
My mother wouldn't ask him why he had left, but why he didn't protect me, save me.

He would be shouted at, and I didn't care. I did it right now.

I remembered the first day of school, and we were ask dint what type of family we lived in, we had to draw or explain everyone who was who….
I still have that paper hanging in my room. A green boy with three hairs on his head, he had a toy car in his right hand, and in his left one my hand. His sisters hand. We were running in the house, although I had one leg in the drawing, while mom was dancing on an upbeat sing that played on the orange radio spilling sparkles out of the sound boxes.
We lived in a pink house with 3 room, a practical house with lots of colours.

The teacher would ask why I drew a red man next to the house. And I the word dad layer on the tip of my tongue.
But I was asked by that same red man to not call him that.
"He is a stranger walking past our house, he often does that." And that was the only answer I could give.

I had to lie then, and I had to lie now.