The next few weeks passed and our training pushed on; every day we ran faster, punched harder and landed our knives closer and closer to the bulls' eye.
My skin was a gallery of bruises and my body had become stronger. Now during training and fights, I could start to hold my own. I had climbed to eighth in ranking, but for long as I could hold myself over the line, I couldn't allow myself to believe it was over yet.
One night, I couldn't get to sleep; visions of the ranking board and flashes of fights play in my head.
The dorm lay blanketed in pitch black darkness; the only sound was the steady breathing and occasional snoring coming from the bunks around me.
I had to go for a walk; I had to get Jarrod's leering face out of my mind.
As quietly as I could I slipped out of bed; I decided to stay in my oversized black sleep-shirt, it came down to my mid-thigh and it's not as if there would be anyone else walking around this time of night anyway. I pulled on my boots and tip-toed out of the dormitory.
The corridors were deserted; the only sound amidst the silence was the delicate buzz of the string-lights. I had no destination in mind, maybe I'd find my way to that rooftop where I'd sat with Nellie.
I was just walking across the Pit when I heard raised voices echoing from the tavern; even at this hour of night it sounded busy. Just as I'd reached a tunnel on the opposite side, the bars doors flew open; the shouting moved out into the pit.
I turned, ducking back into the shadow of the tunnel.
A tall Dauntless man staggered out of the bar, his eyes still fixed on the doorway. The terrified look on his face was soon explained as Eric's menacing figure stormed out after him.
The man stumbled backward, his hands out in front of him protectively.
"Eric, man, I didn't mean-"
But Eric closed the gap and shoved him backwards, even from my distance; I could still make out the murderous, teeth-bared glare that was fixed on his face.
"Come on, it was only a joke!" the man was trying desperately to calm him down.
By now, Eric had backed him up against one of the Pits stone walls, his forearm pressed firmly against his throat. "Say it again, Rick," He growled, "Say it to my face this time"
The man, Rick, struggled against Eric's hold.
"I didn't mean it man, I swear! The boys and I are just drunk!"
Eric says nothing, then suddenly throws his head forward and smashes it right into the bridge of Ricks nose. I had to cover my mouth with my hand to keep my gasp from escaping.
Rick bellows and Eric shoves him to the ground, towering over him.
"If I hear you talk about my father like that again, I swear I'll break something else Rick" he spits at him before almost staggering backwards and away in the direction of one of the tunnels.
I watch Rick as he scrabbles back to his feet, blood trickled down his face and he holds his sleeve to his nose to stem the flow. He leant unstably against the wall again, before wobbling back into the tavern.
I look back to the tunnel, just in time to see Eric, arms braced against the wall for balance, as he sways drunkenly into the shadows.
I stand fixed to the spot; one part of me wants to check if Eric's okay, the other wants to stay as far away as possible from the frightening, drunken state of mind he's in.
I sigh. As always when it came down to Eric, irrationality won out; I crept across the Pit after him.
I peeked around the corner of the tunnel entrance, and then just as quickly pulled my head back. Instead of an empty corridor, there was a person slumped on the ground against the wall twenty metres down. It was Eric, his chin resting on his chest and his legs stretched out in front of him.
As quietly as I could, I walked over to him; as soon as I'd stopped by his boot he looked up at me, his eyes bloodshot.
"Amy, what are you doing here?" he slurred.
"I could ask you the same thing"
He frowned and tried to stand up, using the stone wall as support.
"Do you need a hand?" I ask, holding a hand out to him.
"No' he mutters as he loses his balance and slips back down to the ground again.
I'd almost laugh if his face was anything other than lethal right now.
"Come on" I say more persistently.
He looks straight at me now, glowering.
"I said fuck off Amelia!"
It's my turn to stagger backwards into the wall now. He just called me Amelia. Eric was the only person to ever call me by my full name; even then, he hadn't used it in a very long time.
I stare at him open-mouthed while he tries again to get to his feet; cursing under his breath as he does.
When he does finally stand up, he sways dangerously.
"You good?" I ask. It looks like he was going to shout at me again when he suddenly loses his balance and lurches forward into me.
The weight of him is crushing and I have to shift my feet against the gravel floor for leverage.
"C'mon, I'll take you home" I say, pulling his arm over my shoulders to prop him up.
"I can do it myself!" He slurs, trying to pull away from me. "Get back to your dorm"
"Eric" I say sternly, "You can't sleep out here in the corridor. Where do you live?"
He grimaces then begrudgingly nods up the corridor.
"Alright then" I say and I start leading him.
He says nothing for much of the walk; just grunts when I ask him for directions and drags his feet clumsily.
He directs me up to the next floor where all the other leaders and instructors' apartments must be, we stop outside a doorway and he pushes away from me; uncoordinatedly retrieving his keys from his pocket. I gave him a whole minute while he struggled to find the keyhole before I took them from his hand and unlocked the door.
We jostled inside; his apartment was huge compared to the dorms, easily the size of the floor level from one of our old erudite house.
It had one long, narrow window than ran across an entire wall; a neatly made bed sat up against it.
There was a small room off to my left that housed a tiny, neat kitchen; the doorway beside it must have led to the bathroom.
I was almost happy to see that Eric's decorating sense hadn't changed a bit; the entire apartment was bare of everything, except a modest two seater sofa and a fully-stocked bookshelf.
I could feel Eric's weight starting to sag; I kicked the front door closed with my foot and dragged him across to the bed.
He collapsed onto it with a groan; one arm over his eyes, shielding them from the bright ceiling lights.
I put his keys onto the kitchen counter and started to back up towards the door.
"Don't" I thought I heard him slur.
"What?"
"I said stay, Amelia" he growls.
I uncertainly perch on the end of his sofa.
"You called me Amelia" I say finally.
"Good listening" he says bitterly.
"No, I just mean… I thought you'd forgotten me" I frown.
He lifts his arm from his eyes and looks straight at me, eyes creased with anger.
"Of course I hadn't forgotten you. I knew it was you the second I saw that stupid blue scarf" he scoffs.
My breath hitches in my throat.
"Then… all these weeks… why-"
"Why didn't I say anything? Why didn't I single you out on that rooftop on the very first day? You know why Amelia, things are different now; things have changed"
I tried to shake the hurt off from his last words.
"You're an initiate; it's imperative that no one knows about us, they'll stand me down as training supervisor the minute they find a conflict of interest" His eyes bore into mine, "And if that happens, there'll be no way I can watch over you"
"I don't need 'watching over'" I say tersely.
"Oh, you do" he sits up straight now, unfocused-eyes turned toward me, "You're Dauntless, Amelia. But you're weak"
I stand up angrily. "You don't think I haven't been worrying about that? I gave up everything and in a few months I'll probably be kicked to the kerb"
"Wait, that's not what I meant" Eric groaned, rubbing at his eyes. "Come here"
I reluctantly walked over to where he sat on the edge of the bed.
He stretched out one hand and placed it against my arm, his long fingers callused and rough.
"I'm going to do everything in my power to get you through this" His bloodshot eyes stare at me intensely.
I stare right back at him, too overwhelmed with emotion to speak.
He releases my arm and lies back down on the bed again. He looks horrible when he's drunk.
I'm still standing beside him when he half smiles.
"Told you you'd follow me" he says tiredly.
I smile and shake my head at him. I was going to wait until the drink had finally knocked him into sleep before I would head back to my own bed.
I sat back on the couch.
The last thing I remember was deciding it would be a good idea if I rested my eyes for just a moment.