Crista

by o-o-o-VampirianWolfGirl-o-o-o

Leah stays in Forks, trying to re-build her life. Just as she grasps a level of normalcy, she imprints, causing her life to spiral out of control as her imprintee brings with them a whole new level of trouble. FEMMESLASH!

10. Night Fever

Chapter 10 – Night Fever

Hola readers! Thanks heaps for your support and reviews! You guys are, to put it simply, amazing! Here is the chapter you have been waiting for! It's a whopping 41 pages! Hope it doesn't disappoint! :) And I'm really sorry about this being late.

Warning: Swearing. You have been warned. This chapter deals with a very pissed off she-wolf! :D

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"Something's wrong, shut the light, heavy thoughts tonight, and they aren't of snow white, dreams of war, dreams of lies, dreams of dragons fire."

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Crista's POV -

"Happy birthday Crista! Make a wish, miha."

"Then hurry and open your presents!"

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Crista, I'm proud of you, you know that."

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Hey, do you think Papi would get mad if I used his hat for fishing?"

"Yes. Why can't you use the fishing rod I made you?"

"I accidentally sat on it and broke it?"

"Idiota!"

-o-o-o-o-o-

"You know what? I think you are just jealous of me."

"You know what? I think you're a narcissist."

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Hola. That's 'hello' right? Don't worry about him, he treats everyone like that."

"You're different from most people..."

"How so?"

"You treat me and the others like me with respect."

"Well, why shouldn't I? We are all the same are we not? We just have different jobs."

"Different paying jobs."

"That shouldn't matter either."

"Thank you."

"No problemo. That's Spanish right?"

"Haha, yeah, close enough."

-o-o-o-o-o-

"Crista is it? You can call me Xiras."

-o-o-o-o-o-

"...Xiramas..."

"...who sired you..."

"...he was my brother..."

"...you killed him..."

"...he sired himself a mate..."

"...our paths connect..."

"...call it an eye for an eye...he did kill your family..."

"...kill your family..."

"...he was incredibly naive..."

"...able to kill my brother..."

"...you are a complete mystery..."

"...study you..."

"...powerful weapon..."

"...speak...or they die..."

"...kill your family..."

"...kill your family..."

"...kill your family..."

"You think this is over?"

I bolted upright, and leaped out of bed, landing on the floor in a crouch. With my eyes wide I looked around my new bedroom for any signs of danger. If I were alive, my heart would be beating so fast.

I let out a sigh and fell back, lying down on the ground. What the hell was the point in me even trying to sleep if my conscious visits bad memories?

I heard Jasper and Edward dash up the stairs and stop outside my door.

"Uh, Crista? Are you okay in there?" Edward asked with concern.

Hn, obviously he read my thoughts and could see what I was dreaming about. I hated that he could do that. It actually made me feel really exposed and naked. Well, as long as he didn't share what he saw of my 'dreams' with anyone else, then I guess I could live with that.

What I couldn't live with was Jasper controlling my emotions every morning. And instead of feeling angry at this thought I was content! He was doing it again!

'I'm fine thanks Edward, but please tell Jasper to stop! I won't snap and kill anyone, promise.'

I heard Edward pull at Jasper's arm, leading him back downstairs.

"What?" Jasper's voice asked.

"Don't do that, she doesn't like it." Edward said.

"But..."

"No, we need to show her that we can trust her. They are her memories Jasper. We have to feel pain sometimes. Don't worry, let her go, you'll know when she really needs your help."

Edward hearing thoughts was useful in one way. It meant I didn't have to speak. Even though I have started talking again, I still prefer not to. Funny what you get use to.

It has been two weeks since I was 'adopted' into the Cullen family. Two weeks since Aramis, two weeks since I found out that Xiras...

No, I didn't want to think about it. Every time I do, I feel so much anger, to the point where I'm scared I will lose myself to it and do something stupid. I can't risk that. I don't want to fall back into that cold, dark cave of depression that my mind likes to linger to, where there is no light, no hope, nothing.

I will not lose myself again. I don't want to live how I have been the past 70 or so years. But I don't know how else to live.

Edward said that it will take time, and not to worry about it. He said time heals certain things, but that doesn't explain how I am still just as angry about my family's death, as I was the day I had found them. The only thing that seems to settle my nerves is that I killed Xiras, my family's killer, along with Aramis and Simara.

It's the only thought that keeps me sane nowadays, which is depressing, but it's all I've got left and I have to hold onto that for as long as I can.

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Leah's POV –

The wolf was my pet, at least that's what it felt like. Sometimes it was black, other times grey. It was black now.

The black wolf growled at me, baring its sharp teeth, as if showing me what it was equipped with, warning me that if I fight I will get hurt.

I growled back, it growled again, I backed down in fear. I didn't want to get hurt. I didn't want it to tear my face off.

Then the wolf seemed content, it lay on me and fell asleep. I could speak to her and she understood me. My body was getting warm, very warm, it was almost unbearable –

Urgh, why is it so hot in here? I pushed my covers off my body and sat up...well at least I tried to. No sooner as I got myself into a sitting position I got a dizzy spell and had to lie back down. I have been like this for the past week and its driving me nuts. The constant headaches didn't help either.

Plus, waking up in a cold sweat was never fun. It was either too hot or too cold, or both at the same time. I don't get it. I don't have a temperature; at least, my forehead says I don't. If I didn't know any better I swear I was coming down with some nasty fever. Yet it felt different than the average fever, so I dismissed the thought.

I sighed as I sat up slowly and looked towards the strong source of light in my room. Mum had been in here, she must've have been collecting potential items for laundry, as usual, as my curtains were drawn open, revealing that annoying ball of light that is called 'Sun', hiding behind an overcast day.

I let out an annoyed huff and lay back down. I had told mum not to open my curtains if I'm still asleep! It annoys me having to wake up to a bedroom full of light. Even though Forks was mostly cloudy all year round, the sun light still pissed me off first thing in the morning. I didn't care how dim the light was, the curtains stay shut until after I wake up!

I paused my angsty thoughts for a moment, as my heart beat was accelerating, which meant I was pissed off and getting myself roused up for no reason. That's another thing that has been happening a lot lately. I'm getting angry a lot more easily and my already short temper was still shortening.

Yes, I get moody and pissed off easily, but this was different. I was getting angry to the point where I lost control of my shape and turned into a wolf. I have been through so many clothes the past few days alone, that I actually had to go to Port Angeles to shop! Yes, me plus shopping.

I looked up at my ceiling, my eyes focusing on the dream catcher I had hanging up there. It was big, 100 centimetres long, and hanging from a hook that dad had nailed up there for me. There were five hexagonal shaped hoops, with gold threading for the webs. Purple and white feathers were hanging from them, with small pieces of broken mirror placed here and there to reflect light.

Seth and I had made it almost five years ago. It was dad's idea. He told me I should be doing more things with my baby brother, to 'bond'. So we made a dream catcher. Seth has one too, except his feathers are green.

I loved watching it move, it gently swayed to the light breeze coming through my open window. It relaxed me. Weird, I know, but it did. Speaking of dream catchers...animal dreams...that is all it has been like for the past two weeks for me. All I dream about are animals, but particular animals.

Wolves and lions, that's all I have been dreaming about. Sometimes I am the animal, other times I am part of their family, and sometimes I am merely a bystander, watching the animals as they hunt or nuzzle with their young or mates. Weird, very weird, because they don't fit my normal dream patterns at all.

I sat up again and got out of bed. I felt wretched. I think I probably am coming down with something. Yet, why was it taking me so long to actually get the damn fever? Two weeks of symptoms was ridiculous.

I walked to the bathroom, locked the door and stripped off my sleep wear. I turned the faucet of the shower and tilted my head back, so that my entire face could have the warm water wash over it. It made me feel better.

I suddenly lost balance. I opened my eyes in response and placed my hands on the tiled wall, to stop me from falling. I shook my head, but the sensation didn't leave me. So I sat down and hugged my knees to my chest as the water continued to flow onto me.

I will just sit here until the sensation leaves me. I didn't have anywhere to be and it rained nearly every fricken day here, so it's not like water is in short supply.

I breathed in and out deeply, hoping to relax my body. These dizzy spells were beginning to worry me. No one had noticed them...yet...which is good. Thank God for that. I didn't want to be forced to see a doctor, I hate doctors.

My watery and peaceful world was abruptly brought to an end, as I heard a loud knock on the bathroom door.

"Leah!"

I groaned, "Yes mum?" I answered back annoyed, I knew that tone, guess I wouldn't be staying in here any longer, so much for a relaxing day of doing nothing.

"The pack needs you! Hurry with your shower so you can eat breakfast and meet up with them."

See what I mean? Damn it...

I went on all fours and stood up slowly, so that my brain could get use to the change in position. I turned off the water and wrapped myself in a towel.

I looked in the bathroom mirror at my reflection and I was startled by it. I had dark circles around my eyes even though I wasn't really that tired at all and my eyes, they looked...dead...like they had no life in them anymore. What the hell...what is happening to me?

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Crista's POV –

Clonk, clonk, clonk. That was the only prominent sound that was filling the unusually quiet kitchen this morning; the sound of beautifully carved green and brown stone, which formed the world wide known pieces of a chess board, hitting its chequered stone surface.

As I was sitting at the breakfast bar, while watching Edward and Bella play chess, I got a weird vibe from everyone in the kitchen; it had been like this for nearly an hour.

Even though the Cullens and the Quileute wolves (who were here having breakfast), haven't said anything within my hearing range, I could tell something was bothering them. They were keeping something from me.

Had I done something wrong? I thought back to the last two weeks of my permanent stay here. I couldn't recall doing anything that could vastly bother anyone under this roof.

I had made sure to behave and help when I can. I stayed off of their radar unless they needed me for something. I didn't want my existence to become any more of a nuisance than it already was for them.

Edward suddenly growled and I buried my face in my hand, forgetting that I shouldn't have been thinking thoughts I want kept entirely to myself.

Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked at Edward. Esme had paused from cooking her third round of breakfast for the boys, Rosalie and Alice paused from their discussion on something called 'this month's Vogue', Jacob, Seth, Quil and Embry stopped eating, Bella frowned at her husband and Emmett stopped cleaning a part from the Jeep's engine.

"I'm sorry." I muttered under my breath, I didn't want anyone angry at Edward, it was me being the idiot.

"Don't be. This isn't something we should even be going through. So there is no need to think such things." Edward said quietly before resuming his game with Bella.

The kitchen waited a few seconds for Edward to continue or elaborate. He didn't. Brilliant, now we are going to have someone, probably Emmett, ask 'what the hell' was going on.

"Hey! Don't stop there! What the hell is going on?" Emmett asked expectantly. See what I mean?

"Nothing to concern yourselves with." Edward answered back, his eyebrows furrowed in deep concentration. It seemed that he wasn't use to losing at chess, as he had never played with anyone who could guard themselves before.

"Pfft, what's up your ass?" Emmett snapped back, it seems he didn't like being kept in the dark.

"...Most of his black chess pieces." Jacob said, before he took a sip of juice.

Everyone snickered at Jacob's insult, including me, talk about hitting two birds with one stone.

"Nicely done." Rose complimented Jake, before continuing her conversation with Alice.

As I was going over the thoughts in my head, I breathed in and out, calming myself down, before I looked over at Edward. Our eyes met and he nodded. That nod either meant he approved, or that it was a good idea. Probably both.

"Can I ask something?" I said, addressing the entire kitchen.

Everyone paused for the second time, all eyes were on me. Great, this didn't make me feel intimidated or self conscious at all.

"Why does everyone cease conversation when I am within hearing range? Did I do something?" I felt like such an idiot asking such questions, but if Edward approved...

For some reason, everyone's eyes turned to Jacob, who paused mid air of having another sip of juice.

"Really? Now?" He asked, looking uncomfortable while meeting each and every gaze that was upon him, until he met Edward's. Edward's confirmation was probably what he was looking for, as Jacob let out a sigh and looked towards me.

"Crista, sit down..." He started to say politely.

"I'd rather stand." I answered, I knew I wasn't going to like whatever it was that would come out of his mouth. I could feel it.

"Hmph, already acting like her as well." Jacob muttered under his breath.

"Excuse me?" I asked defensively, who did I act like?

"Jake!" Bella had said at the same time I had spoken.

"Okay, sorry...just saying..." Jacob said before clearing his throat with a cough and looking back at me. "Crista..."

I felt my eyebrows rise in retaliation to him saying my name, I still wasn't use to hearing my name out loud and the way he had said it was as if he was the bearer of bad news. If only I had known how bad...

"Werewolves, all the wolves like me, all go through something. It happens only once, and we don't know when it is meant to happen, it just does when we see a particular person..."

"Jake, please don't sugar-coat it, I can take it." I said. I could see him carefully selecting his words, thinking before he spoke. It didn't suit him, he was brash and to the point, well from what I have witnessed of him. I guess in some cases he did choose his words properly if his directness was a sense of deliberate display.

"...Fine, okay... look, something happens to werewolves called 'imprinting', which I take you have never heard of before...?" He paused to analyse my face, I gave him an incredulous look in response.

"Well imprinting is what happens when a werewolf sees their soul mate for the first time. It is a very strong, very intense feeling and we know what it is when it's happening to us because that person that we imprinted on becomes 'our everything'. They become our sole reason for existence. We feel whole, complete and very much in love." Jacob said, without taking a breath, he really knew how to transform feelings to words.

I nodded, absorbing his information, and then something clicked in my head... "That's the relationship you have with Renesmee isn't it? She's your soul mate? Your... imprintee?"

Jacob's eyebrows rose in surprise, as did many of the others in the room.

"How do you figure?" Jacob asked, "I could just really care for my best friend's daughter..."

I shook my head, already having an answer... "An idiot can tell... I see the way you look at her and how protective you are of her, like how you never left her side on my first night here; but mostly, as I said, it's all in your eyes..."

"Yeah I guess your right...anyway, the reason I am telling you this now is...uh...well..." Jacob looked to Edward, begging with his eyes for him to take over.

Edward let out a sigh and nodded. "Crista, someone has imprinted on you."

Everyone's reactions were unanimous, Rose and Alice dropped their magazines, the rest of the wolf pack dropped their forks on the table with a resulting, loud clatter, Emmett's engine part landed on his foot – basically anyone holding something, had dropped it. It was probably because of the shock of Edward's direct bluntness as well as apprehension for my taking of the news.

They were shocked? They were uneasy? Could you imagine what was going through my head?

FLASHBACK –

I woke up panting from another bad dream...wait...panting? Since when do vampires pant? Our hearts and lungs don't work. I've never panted before in my entire vampiric existence. I felt like I was out of breath. It was...such a missed feeling. I haven't felt so close to being human in so long. It was nice.

I would have enjoyed the feeling a lot more if my conscience wasn't bothering me as to why I was suddenly feeling so...alive? Then I noticed something else, which made me bolt up instantly into a sitting position. One of the scents that my nose was detecting didn't belong here. There is a trespasser amongst us.

I narrowed my eyes and used my memory to separate the scent from the rest of the Cullen family. It wasn't a scent coming from any of their rooms, and it wasn't a new scent that belonged to them, because neither of their scents was lingering with it. I turned my head. It was coming from outside, right outside my window. This should have panicked me, because what if it was someone of relation to Aramis and Simara seeking revenge on me and the Cullens?

It wasn't though, because I have smelt this scent before, before Washington, before Aramis and that ridiculous battle. Yet not before I arrived in Forks. I let out a low growl when I realised who the scent belonged to...

*/*/*/*/*

"So how long will you be staying here?"

"We don't know yet, she will reside with us for as long as she wishes."

"What about her coven? Or her family? Doesn't she have any?"

"She probably ate them and then ran away."

*/*/*/*/*

...ate them...

...ran away...

"She probably ate them and then ran away."

That judgemental little she-wolf? Leah was it? My inner vampire sparked to life in an instant. I was angry and I had yet to tell her off for her inappropriate...'comment.'

I'll get her...I was about to jump out the window and give her a piece of my mind when I felt a wave of calm overcome me. I turned around and saw Jasper standing at the door. Lucky Edward was at his cottage with Bella, otherwise I'd be 'in the shit', as Emmett likes to say.

I forced my face to be neutral and raised an eyebrow questioningly at Jasper. I didn't want Jasper to know that I knew she was there. Even though I knew that he knew that she was there, yet he probably knew that I knew that he knew she was there...wait...I forgot where I was going with this-

"Crista?" Jasper asked.

What did he want? He was just standing at the door, but his manner implied something...oh...

"Come in Jasper, it's your house." I said before sitting back down on my bed. I almost rolled my eyes at his...courtesy. He only walked in a few metres and stopped.

"Are you alright? You were angry before..." He trailed off suggestively. Perhaps he wanted me to tell him without him having to ask me to tell him...tch... weird guy, yet very considerate.

"...I had nightmares...again." I muttered, looking down. I wasn't a great liar. Not because I felt guilty of lying, hell no! Why I am angry is my business unless I'm willing to share, I looked down because my eyes could never lie. Jasper, who was from the civil war times, making him as old as me, has been living with vampires his whole 'dead' life, so my guess is, he probably could tell when he was being lied to a lot better, then say Jacob and his wolf pack.

And as a side note, the rest of the Cullens are much more older than Jasper, one can see the future, one can read minds, and two are parents, which means my lying days are either over or I have to get better at lying...mierda, I have to get better at lying.

"Uh huh." He responded, did he sound, sceptical of me? See, I knew he knew!

"Well, if you need someone to talk to, your family are down stairs..." He trailed off, before leaving the room.

No, my family are dead. I thought bitterly. I sighed, turned off my lamp and then turned my head towards the window. I got up carefully, in case any sound reached Jasper's ears, and looked out the window. It was pitch black, but no thanks to vampire eyes, I could see clearly.

Leah, that melancholy, wolf woman was sitting at the edge of the forest, just hidden beneath the trees, yet as close to my window as possible. What the hell? What was she doing here? She was simply sitting on the forest floor, back leaning against a tree trunk, and her arms were wrapping themselves around her body.

She appeared to be cold, yet she wasn't shivering. It was a cold night tonight, but as far as I have observed, Jacob was never bothered with the cold, so what was wrong with this one?

I shook my head at the sight of her, and moved back to my bed. As long as she doesn't come any closer or try to talk to me, she can sit out in the cold for as long as she likes.

END FLASHBACK -

Edward's POV -

Wow. I didn't think Crista was capable of such language. She was swearing, in her head, in Spanish. She was angry. Her outer appearance? Well anyone else who wasn't me or Jasper would think that Crista was just shocked from the information, as her mouth was hanging open.

"Who?" Crista managed to finally ask, the question that had 'doom' as an answer.

Everyone looked at me. Honestly, why did I have to do all the dirty work? All their faces, they actually looked depressed, like they knew that this next bit of information to come out of my mouth would hurt Crista.

Well, everyone except for Emmett, who was leaning against the counter with a small smile on his face, happy that Crista was finally being told. It may appear that he is heartless, but he isn't, the idiot highly believes that Crista and Leah match well.

"Edward. Who?" Crista asked, her voice, firm, strong and slightly angered.

"Leah Clearwater." I answered, after that, time momentarily froze and we could almost see the wheels in Crista's head spinning, putting together everything that Jacob and I had just told her.

"You mean that she-wolf that lingers outside my bedroom window every night? The one that I nearly killed when I met the pack?" Crista asked in disbelief and shock.

"So you noticed huh?" Emmett asked, with slight amusement etching his voice. Yes, the bastard would find this funny.

"Which vampire wouldn't?" Crista responded angrily. "And how could I not? I could smell her!"

"Crista, calm down this isn't anything bad-..." Alice started to say before the look Crista gave her stopped her mid way as she analysed Crista's face. "It doesn't have to be." Alice finished off saying.

"But it is..." Crista said, defending herself, her voice dripping with venom, even though she was whispering. Everyone looked surprised as to why Crista was getting mad, why was Jasper letting her? It was because I told him not to. It wasn't healthy suppressing ones' emotions, better out than in.

The next thought that crossed Crista's mind made me cringe, but before I could react, she vanished without a trace, having jumped out of the open kitchen window. If we weren't vampires, we would've missed it.

"Aside from the fact that Leah and Crista had started off on wrong terms, why else is she pissed off?" Emmett asked with curiosity evident in his voice, as well as a hint of concern. Now he shows concern.

I didn't answer, whether he was talking to me or not.

''Becomes our everything?' I will never be forced to love someone just because she is my 'soul mate'...that is unfair to us both...' Was what Crista had thought before she had fled.

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Leah's POV –

"Excuse me?" I asked hotly, damn bastards know how to piss me off! They call me here, to talk about that? And what pissed me off more than anything was the fact that many of them had just come from the Cullen's house, I could smell her on them.

"Leah, calm down! We are just telling you as it is." Jacob said calmly.

"No! Damn it! What you're saying is based on a lot of guesses. No hard facts! I have been doing fine without her! I have hardly thought about her in two weeks! I don't need her to survive!" I yelled.

"Will you listen to yourself? You are talking a lot of shit." Paul said with impatience and anger tinting his tone.

"Fuck you Paul." I said with venom, straight to his face.

"What did you say to me?"

"Whoa, calm down, both of you! That's an order!" Jacob said, his voice commanding and strong. "I mean it Paul!" He said, pointing a finger at Paul who had started to approach me. Let me at him! I will kick the bastard's ass if he got close enough.

"Leah, listen to us, please. This thing, what you are going through, it's only going to get worse." Seth had started to say.

"What do you know about it? You haven't imprinted yet." I snapped at him.

Seth kept quiet after that. I should have felt bad but I didn't, I don't give a shit.

"Leah, don't talk to Seth like that..." Sam had started to say.

"Don't you dare say anything to me, you understand?" I yelled at him with ferocity. I didn't need him telling me what to do.

Sam just looked down, avoiding the anger in my eyes, serves him right...

"Leah, if you didn't need her, then why do you sleep outside of her window every night?" Jacob asked, looking me straight in the eyes.

I gasped. It felt like I had just gotten slapped in the face! How dare he...

"How...?" I tried asking, but my mouth was having problems forming words due to embarrassment and shock.

"Relax. It's nothing to be ashamed of." Jacob started to say, but I didn't listen. He just wounded my pride. He could have said it elsewhere, not in front of my brother, or Sam, or dicks like Paul. I saw red.

I felt my body start to shake violently, and in no time at all, I had transformed. I growled at Jacob, who hadn't moved from his spot to avoid me, like the others did, and jumped him. I had him on his back, pushing him deep into the earth as I could.

"Leah, stop it." He asked, he didn't order me. I wanted to see how far I could push him until he had to break his promise. Let's see what it takes for the Alpha to order his pack. How far would I have to go?

I extracted my claws as far as they could go, blood started to surface, I could smell it, as I penetrated the skin on his chest.

"Leah, last chance. I'm warning you now to stop." He said, glaring at my yellow eyes.

I snarled at him, daring him to do his worst.

He, without a doubt, took that as my final answer, as seconds later a large wolf body was underneath me, growling back, before it roughly pushed me off.

I landed on all fours, and stood my ground.

'Come on Jake. Take a swing at me, I dare you.'

'I will. Don't think I will go easy on you.'

'I don't expect special treatment just because I'm a girl.'

'Good, because you won't find any here.'

'There never was any to begin with!' I thought, before lunging at him.

Our jaws collided, teeth grazing each other's snouts. I pulled back and went for his leg instead. I caught him in a strong grasp, not planning on letting go at all.

He figured this as much, and used his head to 'punch' me in the ribs. It literally knocked the wind out of me, forcing me to release his leg. I turned back around to face him, and swiped, creating four claw marks on his shoulder blade.

I then jumped on him, causing us to roll around on the forest floor as we dangerously wrestled.

Normally, wolves within the same pack can't really fight each other as we can hear each other's thoughts, but, if you're good, and I mean 'if you're good', you can let your instinct entirely take over, and fighting becomes second nature that you don't even need to think about it.

That's what was happening with Jake and I. Lucky for the both of us we have been so heartbroken to the point where we had practice doing such a thing, letting the 'wolf' take over. There was no thinking, just doing, no reason, no second guessing, just running towards the target with only that killer instinct being important.

"Guys! Cut it out! This is stupid!" Seth yelled, as he was being held back by Quil and Embry. "Hey, let me go! Someone has to stop them!"

"No, they both need to learn a lesson here..." Quil muttered.

Jacob let out a growl before lunging at me. On a normal day, I could have easily bypassed him, but not today. Today, I wasn't feeling myself, what with the dizzy spells, weird dreams and headaches. He got me all right, and it surprised him so much you could see it etched in his wolf features.

Using his paws, Jacob had knocked me against the thick trunk of a tree, my head being the body-part which had nicely softened the blow for the rest of my body.

I saw stars, or, more like little different coloured dots, as I shut my eyes from the pain. Like I said, I can take a hit, but not today. I felt three deep scratches on my right cheek, where one of his paws had landed, and blood from my forehead running down my nose...nose? What happened to my snout?

I opened my eyes and looked down, my eyes meeting my naked, dark skinned body. I was human once again. When had I commanded myself to change back? I don't think I did.

I didn't even care that I was naked in front of them, it was something I had to get use to with this gig, but still, lucky my knees were held up against my chest and covering all of my...assets.

I looked back up at Jacob, who had changed back, put his spare pair of trousers on and was approaching me. He was angry.

"You see what I mean?" He yelled, stopping a metre or two in front of me, "Look at you! You changed back without commanding it! You are moody, you're tired, dizzy, probably in pain, and your performance is showing it!"

"I thought I was always moody..." I said with venom in my voice as I glared at him.

"Shut up Leah! Why aren't you taking this seriously?" Seth yelled, hot tears in his eyes and running down his cheeks, he was still being held back by Quil and Embry.

"Because! Only when it starts affecting the pack do any of you boys then decide to give a shit about what happens to me! I'm tired of it! There are no allies for females in this fraternity, is there? There never was!" I had started to say everything, everything that had been bothering me for a long time, now was a good time as any to let it all out.

"Leah, don't say that..." Jacob had started to say.

"Can it Jake! I don't want to hear your reasoning or defence for this pack. I'd rather you slap me in the face, it would be less insulting!" There, that shut him up! I looked to my right, to find my t-shirt and shorts ripped to shreds on the ground.

I slowly started straightening my knees away from my body, so that I could stand up and get them. No sooner had I my calves touched the ground I saw a pair of jean shorts fall onto my legs.

I looked up and saw Jacob, standing in front of me but looking straight ahead, he was shielding my naked form from the rest of the pack, so that I could cover myself before standing.

This act alone calmed down the fiery anger that still wanted to erupt from my body.

I frowned at the fabric at my legs, it must have been one of the other boys' spares that some have taken the habit into carrying around, like Jake. They offered it to me, within seconds. Why only now, did they show such chivalry?

I picked up the shorts, a scent reached my nose, I hesitated, I knew that scent far too well. It was Sam's. I couldn't reject them without looking like a bitch, so I slipped them on, then used my right arm to lay across my chest, covering my cleavage.

Before I even thought about my next move, Jacob was at my side, his arm around my waist, as he lifted me off the ground. I wrapped my free arm around his neck as I stood up. My legs were a bit wobbly, and Jacob never left my side, he stayed by me, because if he didn't, I would've fallen back down.

His chivalry felt like more than just that, it ran deeper; it felt like care, concern and respect.

"You have to go and see her, Leah. She knows you imprinted on her, she knows you stay by her window. You have to start developing this relationship, before it kills you." Jacob muttered near my ear, under his breath, so that the others couldn't hear.

"Or before she kills me...she hates me..." I said, choking on tears that were trying to escape. I looked down in shame. I hated crying, it was a fucking weakness I could do without.

I felt Jacob nod at the pack in front of us. The next thing I knew, they had left the clearing, giving Jacob and I some privacy.

I looked up at Jacob, who was shaking his head at my words. "I don't think she hates you..."

"How did she react when you told her?" I asked, preparing myself for the blow.

Jacob sighed and looked hesitant. I knew it.

"She got mad and then ran off. But Edward and I spoke afterwards. He said what seemed to piss Crista off the most about the whole situation wasn't the fact that it was you who imprinted on her, it was the imprinting in general. She hates the idea of it." Jacob said quickly, probably thinking I would get upset if he didn't justify Crista quickly.

I snorted in response, "She's not the only one."

"Come on, Leah. It's not that bad."

"Yes it is Jake!"

"Why?"

I paused looking away from his gaze and kept my focus on the tree that I had been thrown against not moments before, it had three claw marks embedded into the bark, made by the same exact motion that had clawed my cheek.

"Because I have no say in it..." I was finally able to say, before breaking down crying.

Jake pulled me against him, and stroked the back of my neck as I cried into his chest.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Bella's POV –

I sighed, bored already at our topic of conversation. I had no idea so many of us had trust issues. And Renesmee could tell that this was getting on my nerves.

"Look, if we do this, we have to have her tag along..." Rosalie said.

"It's unnecessary, Rose, what could the girl do, affect the house with her emo-ness?" Emmett asked with amusement, before he chuckled at his own joke.

"I just don't think we should trust her straight away. What do we really know about her besides how she got sired and who was hunting her down?"

Even Alice and Jasper were agreeing with Rosalie by the looks of things.

Carlisle sighed, and glanced at Esme, who shook her head at him. "Look, Crista is part of the family now. Just because she has had a run of bad luck doesn't make her untrustworthy-"

"Yes it does!" Rosalie yelled, her anger becoming evident through her voice.

"After the whole Volturi thing, you have to admit that we have to be more careful." Alice added for Rosalie's benefit.

Throughout this whole time, Jacob, who had returned from his pack meeting not fifteen minutes ago, was eyeing me, and I guess he was waiting to see how upset I would be by this whole conversation before-

"Please, that's all behind us now." Jacob said, now contributing to the conversation, was my face already showing that much anger and annoyance?

"That may be true, but we also are not certain if anyone else is looking for Crista, and if Aramis has friends equally as powerful as he was, who would want to get revenge on the fact that we killed him and his mate." Rosalie added, glaring at Jacob for intervening. "It may be for the best if we-"

"If 'we' what, Rose?" I said, standing up, challenging her. "If we kick her out? If we keep her detained so that she doesn't attract trouble? If we kill her? What were you going to say?"

Rosalie looked surprised at my outburst, guess you can't blame her, normally she is the icy one towards me, not the other way around, but she doesn't intimidate me anymore, "Bella-"

"And what if we weren't able to defeat Aramis and Simara but we were able to get away from them? What would you have suggested we do to Crista to ensure our own safety? As far as I know, you didn't give up on me, when I was such a burden to this family."

"As Jacob said, that's all behind us Bella." Alice said, looking upset at my anger.

"Yes, but you still trust me, don't you? Or has this been all a facade to play 'happy families'?" I asked with daring, before picking up Renesmee and walking towards the door, "No matter what, we should always stick together and look after one of our own. If your safety was more important than someone else's well being, you should not have 'adopted' her and you should have killed me years ago." I said, before I left the house.

Carlisle's POV –

I would have smiled, if I couldn't see how hurt she was. Bella really had a way with words when the situation called for it. I coughed out loud, to get my family's attention.

"Though I do agree on all of us having our say with decisions that could affect this family, there will be one or two occasions where I put my foot down. We will leave for Canada tonight, so that we can get our hunting trip out of the way, and so that we can get Emmett off our backs for a few weeks-"

"Hey!"

"I apologise Emmett, the rock concert idea was too risky... and stupid." Emmett almost pouted at my words. "And we will leave Crista here. I think we need to put her in a position where she shows responsibility for this family as well as allow her some privacy to sort through her emotions. This will benefit all of us. So be ready to leave by sunset tonight, so that we can make it there and back again by dawn."

Just as I had finished speaking, we all reacted to the scent and sounds that was coming towards our home.

Edward and Crista were back. I felt proud. Well done Edward. It had been his task to locate Crista and offer comfort, it seemed like it had worked. He had brought her back home to us.

They entered through the front door. We all left the kitchen, meeting the pair in the living room. If she was human, Crista would've looked like she was crying and Edward, though not in a tearful manner, looked a little distressed at Crista's current state.

"And where did this one run off to?" asked Rosalie with ice and venom, referring to Crista. She was 'pissed', to say the least, it seems that Bella's little outburst had affected her. Since Bella's pregnancy, those two have become much closer, now to have it looking like their relationship was back in shatters must be upsetting Rose. Whether she'd like to admit it or not.

Edward frowned at Rosalie just then. And it looked like two things had clicked in his mind.

"Don't speak to her that way." Edward said to Rose with an angered frown.

"Which 'her' are you referring to?" She bit back.

"Both of them." He answered before turning back around, exiting the house to find Bella.

Crista stared at the spot where Edward had once stood. After a few seconds, she started heading towards the staircase. Funny, she hadn't reacted to Rosalie at all, yet when it came to Leah, she was ready to kill her because of her 'comments'.

"Crista, wait!" Jacob said, reaching her at the foot of the stairs, just as she was ascending onto the third step. "We should talk."

Crista ignored him and continued walking. But Jacob was not one to back down without a fight.

"Crista, come on. What's so bad about this whole situation, I mean really?" he asked.

Crista climbed a few more steps before pausing, her head remaining in its position of staring at her feet. I thought she was going to continue to ignore him, until she started to speak, not once turning around to look at him, or any of us.

"We should get a say as to who we fall in love with...I would never call imprinting 'love', it's 'force'." Crista said coldly, before continuing her climb up the stairs.

"What did you say?" Jacob asked, looking extremely irritated and like he had been slapped in the face.

"You heard me." Crista said loudly enough, before reaching the top of the stairs and shutting herself away in her bedroom.

"What the HELL is so wrong with imprinting?" Jacob asked to no one in particular, before he shook his head and left the Cullen residence, without looking at anyone else.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Crista's POV -

It has been six hours. Six hours since I returned to the house, six hours since I've spoken to Edward and six hours since I hurt Jacob's feelings. I cringed internally at the sound of his voice after my last comment to him. Perhaps I had been too harsh? I let out a long, deep breath, which made me feel better. For the past six hours, I have been thinking, no thanks to Edward, thinking about some choices that I had to make.

I was sitting against a large pile of pillows that I had taken from everyone's rooms. They knew of my little habit by now. I had already done it twice, so they were use to finding my scent lingering on their pillows when they would return from their trips.

The first time I had stolen everyone's pillows was when the Cullens had to go meet with Jacob's pack again, after the whole Aramis ordeal, and inform them of my permanent stay here. The Cullens returned to find that all of their pillows were missing. They went to my room and found me asleep with their beloved pillows piled against the head rest, surrounding me or with me sleeping on them.

It didn't bother them. I had planned on returning them before they got back. I had woken up to lots of chuckling actually. They knew why I took them, well they had their theories.

Edward said it's because I missed them and the pillows smelt like them, so it was the closest thing I had to their company until they returned home. But the truth is...well...uh...actually, Edward's theory just about covered it, though I wasn't about to admit that out loud.

I felt safer and could sleep easier when one of my senses could alert me that the Cullens were home. It's actually rather uncanny for me to do such a thing, because for over 70 years I was a nomad who lived on her own. I guess it goes to show how much I was missing any human, or vampire, interaction.

Also, because of my dreams, I liked being able to smell that they were nearby, just in case...I needed them. The sense of smell is the only thing a dream cannot replicate; it's the only way I know if I'm dreaming or not. When I stop smelling the Cullens, or anything for that matter, then I know that my little, unique sleep hypnosis has gone too far and I'm having a vampire's version of a deep sleep.

I hated those, because it felt like you lost yourself in your dreams, you forget who you are, what you stand for and you even forget that you actually exist. I had once dreamt that I was a soldier, who was fighting for her country. When I had woken up it had actually taken me a fair few minutes to remember that I am Crista, the family-less vampire who is on the run from enemies she didn't mean to have.

One of the main reasons I hated deep sleeps so much was also that you could get lost in them. Nothing can wake you, until your mind is ready to let you wake. It's weird, being stuck behind the prison walls in your head. I hated my subconscious for it, yet I needed to dream, because if I stop, I will forget them. And if I forget my family, it means that they are really gone for good.

I was currently reading a book Edward had given me, titled'The Da Vinci Code'. It was a cleverly written re-collection of a fiction history, though some parts of it were intriguing enough to make me believe them. I never use to be able to read so well when I was human, because my people, in our small town, were slaves, so our education required us to be able to perform household duties, not reading and writing.

As a vampire, I guess everything becomes easier, your mind is like a predator for information as it relies on your intelligence for your survival. That's the only indication that we have which separates us from animals as our conscience can easily be taken away from us when our emotions are at its peak...but I guess that is like all humans in a way.

Edward also tried getting me into listening to some of his music, but I wasn't ready for music just yet. Music was noise. Even something as gentle as Beethoven's Moonlight Sonata was too much noise for me to handle.

Books were a great start. It left me alone with a world that felt like it was mine and only mine, as if I was the only one in the whole world who was allowed to peak into someone else's life. It was relaxing and it made me forget, which is why I have recently fallen in love with books.

I glanced at the clock and saw that it was nearly midnight. I let out a breath and waited. Leah would be arriving soon, on all fours, curl up beside the house and sleep. Like usual, like she has been doing the past few nights. She doesn't sit anymore against the tree.

Yet, almost an hour had past, and just as it was wavering onto one in the morning, I felt a sudden irritation. Where was she? She wasn't here, she was late. Perhaps she wasn't coming tonight? Nonsense, she was here every night. Why would tonight be any different? Wait...this is good, it means that she won't be bothering me anymore. A small smile crept on my face at this realisation and I continued reading the book.

I was just about to find out whether the protagonist, Robert, was successful in gaining access to something called a 'safety deposit box', when I heard a heavy thud, followed by a groan. Something had fallen into the dirt outside of the house, right near my window...Leah. Huh, maybe she fell asleep while standing? Was she that tired? Was that even possible?

I thought for a few seconds...being out of touch with certain human weaknesses was really setting a draw back to my memory. I could not remember whether my human body had ever fallen while standing due to exhaustion; though, if it had, wasn't that dangerous to such a fragile body? And she had groaned, was she in pain? Oh shit...I bolted to my window and my thoughts were confirmed.

Leah had fallen face first into the earth, she wasn't asleep, she was barely retaining consciousness as she tried looking up at my window. She looked exhausted and very weak. Her breathing was coming out ragged. I watched her as she pulled her legs towards her stomach, so that she was curled up in the foetal position, and collapsed. Tch...Idiot wolf...

I left the window and walked back towards my bed, where there was a small dresser, containing a lamp, my book and a draw. I opened the draw and pulled out a key. Walking back to the window and inserted the key into a lock system located in the centre of the window, and unlocked it.

I had it locked ever since I had a nightmare than Simara had jumped through it and tared the Cullens to shreds. I know a locked window couldn't stop her, but I felt better when Esme had installed the lock into it and had given me the key.

I threw the key onto the dresser table, opened the window and then jumped out. The night air was extremely cold tonight. So cold, that I had no idea how well Leah could cope against it, especially in such a weak state.

I landed directly next to her body, and kneeled before her. She was covered in scratches, claw marks to be specific and she was bruised here and there. Her face was also pale. I didn't move her body, I remember listening to an episode of a television series ten years ago (on the rare nights that it was clear for me to stay near a town or city instead of hidden in the forest) and I had learnt that keeping unconscious people in the foetal position was the best for them, as it cleared their airways.

I know werewolves have extremely accelerated heart beats, because of their...condition...yet Leah's was going faster, way faster...quicker than I have ever heard Jacob's go. I frowned. That meant she had a fever, didn't it?

I shook my head at her situation. What self-respecting person would allow themselves to get to such a stage? Did she not care about herself? Did the ludicrous rules of imprinting cloud her judgement to believe that I was more important than her well being?

FLASHBACK –

Edward's POV –

Thankfully I had found her straight away. She didn't really want to hide or runaway even, she just wanted some time to herself. That was an hour ago and I had yet to say anything to her, and she hasn't said anything to me.

We were both sitting on a branch, which belonged to one of the highest tree in Forks. From the smell of it, Crista must be fond of this spot, as her scent lingered all over it.

She was blocking me from reading her thoughts. I was impressed. It had taken the others years to be able to do that. Then again, I couldn't read her thoughts when we first met her, maybe she is just good at creating barriers to protect herself; barriers so strong and deep that they even block me out.

It wasn't until two more hours had passed that Crista started to lift the barriers so that I could hear her chain of thought. As I listened, a lot of it started to make sense, why she was so opposed to the idea of imprinting and intimately loving another. I immediately knew what

I coughed, out of habit rather than necessity, and remained facing the bird's eye view of the forest.

"Crista, after I was sired, I began to question everything about myself, who I was, what I was, and the person I was meant to be. At the time I didn't believe in Carlisle's 'vegetarian' way of living. I think it was an ego issue. If I was that strong and had so much potential, why couldn't I use it to hunt humans?"

Crista looked up at me. My last sentence had probably struck a chord with her.

"But because I respected Carlisle so much, I only ate the humans who I believed did not deserve to live."

'Tell me, what had you defined as a qualification for someone not deserving to live?' Crista thought in her head, asking me a key question which I had asked myself time and time again, all those years ago.

I was ready for her question, "An example. One of the last humans I had ever killed was a middle aged man who was a serial rapist."

Crista winced at my response.

"So you can understand why I had thought that that was a morally correct thing to do?" I asked her.

She just nodded, her thoughts of understanding egging me to continue.

"But then I realised that I had no right to choose who lives and who dies, that wasn't up to me. Just because I could, doesn't mean I should. If that makes sense."

'What's your point?' Crista asked me through her thoughts. She was beginning to get impatient with me.

I smiled at her, grimly, as these memories were as fresh to my mind as the day they were created. Just because you adapt, it doesn't mean you forget.

"My point is, is that after doing all this then having my little 'epiphany', I got off my high horse. I grew up. I didn't think I was so great anymore. I was just as bad as the people I ate, even if I thought I was doing innocent people a favour by killing them."

'You are what you eat.' Crista thought, with slight humour and with sudden understanding. I think she was finally seeing where I was going with this.

"I started despising myself. I thought myself as a foul and lower being than everyone else. I didn't think I deserved love, or kindness, or anything of the sort. But Carlisle helped me through it, then Esme when she came along, and even Rosalie in her own weird way. They helped me see that everyone makes mistakes, everyone experiences things that are out of their control, and that's life, we can't do much more than that."

Crista looked away from the scenery and turned her head towards me. I placed my hand on her shoulder, giving it a small squeeze.

"You have to stop hating yourself and blaming yourself for what has happened to others in your life. You deserve to be loved Crista, just like the rest of us." I said softly, under my breath.

All the thoughts in her mind froze as she processed what I had said. She opened her mouth as if to speak then closed it again and simply nodded at me. Her eyes said everything her mouth couldn't. 'Thankyou'.

I nodded back at her. 'You're welcome'.

"I will see you back at home, whenever you're ready to join us." With that I stood up and jumped off the tree, landing firmly on the ground ten seconds later.

She still had other issues in her mind that she was contemplating on, but I could only help her with so much, the rest was up to her. Before she can learn to love Leah, she will have to learn to like imprinting; otherwise their relationship will never work. But more important than that, she had to start liking herself again.

END OF FLASHBACK -

Crista's POV -

At first I wasn't sure what to do, but then the voice of my instinct was telling me to let Leah sleep, but take her up into my room. So I followed orders. I couldn't leave her here, my conscious was much too full of guilt.

I pushed her shoulder, making her roll onto her back. Then I placed my arms under Leah's body and lifted her up, holding her against my chest.

I looked at my window and aimed with my body. Now most would have just used the front door to get back in, but I knew I could make this jump. I held Leah even tighter against me and then jumped. I flew head first through my open window, spun around in the air in time and landed on my back, the floorboards beneath me.

I looked down at Leah, she was fine. Not a single scratch or anything. But she was still as bad as I had found her.

I sat up, holding onto her so she wouldn't fall off me, then I stood up. I walked to my bed and placed her on it gently, adjusting the pillows so her neck wouldn't cramp. Now that she was safe, I went back and locked the window and drew the curtains shut.

There was no point in keeping them open now that... now that Leah wasn't out there anymore. What the hell? What a thought...and as I thought back to all the other nights I had not once closed my curtains. Yet I did so before the whole Aramis and Simara ordeal.

That's strange. At first it was so that I could see the moon. I have always loved the moon, the Sun's dark ghost. There was something about it that was eerie, calming, dark and beautiful. I felt like it settled all of my emotions into a calm state every time I watched it.

Yet now that Leah was inside my room I felt like shutting the curtains. The moon now bares no interest to me. Perhaps I should ask Edward tomorrow what this could mean.

I was now staring at Leah's unconscious form. What now? There is no way that I am going to wake her up and even if I really tried, she probably won't. Her body needs the rest, obviously, otherwise she wouldn't have fainted.

She looked...distressed...as if she was uncomfortable or suffering a bad dream. But it was more than that. It was as if I could feel that she was distressed, or could tell just by looking at her that she wasn't a happy person.

I couldn't think about this. I had to ignore it. It was no concern of mine and I wasn't going to make it as such. I just needed to look after her for the night, until the Cullens get back. Then Carlisle can deal with this while I go back to doing what I'm good at, being a void for human interaction.

I had to focus. What had I done the last time someone wasn't feeling well? Damn...I can't even allow myself to think about that...focus Crista, stay focused. How about the last time I saw a human help another human in need? Yes, that would work, what did they do? Checked their pulse, lay them in the foetal position...I had done all these things.

They did also take their clothes off and hug themselves to them. But wasn't that for preventing hypothermia? Damn...I had no idea what I was doing...then my memory struck a chord that was significant to my current situation.

A few hours ago, as Emmett, Jasper, Edward and Jacob were getting the cars ready for tonight (they had wanted to drive instead of run, even though it would now take them longer) I had heard Emmett whispering about me.

I had only heard my name, after that I couldn't make out anything because he was talking too quietly. However, because I hadn't spoken in such a long time, I was pretty good at reading lip. I relied on it in the past to find out information, instead of me having to come into close contact with anyone or ask anyone in the first place.

I had blocked my mind from Edward, so that he wouldn't know I was listening in, and I had settled my emotions, so that Jasper wouldn't sense anything that would attract attention.

Then Jacob started speaking, probably answering to Emmett, so I had focused on his face, he had said:

"...she is sick from the lack of interaction with her. She needs to see her, to touch her, to talk to her. I don't think Crista will allow for such a thing. Look how she is with us, she can't even handle a simple hug yet, or talk more than necessary. I think Leah is going to have a hard time surviving this..."

"...to touch her..." I repeated, speaking under my breath.

Well it was worth a shot of opportunity at least. Even though the idea of what I was about to do made me extremely uncomfortable, I had to concentrate on the fact that this wasn't about me. It was about Leah, about saving her.

"Save her now, yell at her later." I whispered to myself, then nodded.

I re-adjusted the pillows against the bed-head, so that I could lean against them. Now Leah was lying completely horizontal on the mattress. I sat down beside her and placed my back against the pillows.

Easy enough, the next task was a little harder for me to do, because it would cause me discomfort, mentally, but it had to be done.

I lifted my hands, aiming them towards Leah's shoulders. The time it took for my fingertips to stretch out and touch her dark skin, felt like an age. I hadn't willingly touched someone in ages. And even after having stayed here for over a month now, I could still only handle Bella holding my hand. Everyone else would just give me the occasional one-armed hug, like Emmett, or a pat on the shoulder, like Edward, Carlisle and Esme.

But this, this was different. I actually felt okay with touching someone as an action of my own intention. I know I had carried her in here, but this was way more intimate than that. I hadn't hesitated a second in carrying her into my room. Yet now I was. Probably because I knew what would come next.

I clasped my fingers around her shoulders and pulled her towards my body, stopping when her head was resting just below by chin. I paused when I felt movement from Leah.

She simply sighed and rotated her head so that her face was buried into my neck. I could feel her breath tickling my skin; it was an odd sensation, to say the least. I re-adjusted her body so that she was lying on her side and stomach, instead of on her back, that way, her neck won't cramp from the odd angle.

Just like me, she was wearing shorts and a t-shirt, instead of the cotton dress she was wearing at our last 'meeting', which made the next step easier and less perverse... I think.

I lowered my hands towards her hips and placed them under her t-shirt and travelled up. I felt her skin, more of it I mean. It was touching the entire surface area of both my hands. I kept my hands resting on her lower back, just below her ribs, my fingers spread out so that I was touching as much of her as possible.

As soon as I had stilled my hands, Leah's arms started to move. Her left hand shifted so that it was touching my shoulder and her right hand disappeared underneath my t-shirt, resting on my navel.

Because we were both wearing shorts, it made the last movement easier. I wrapped my legs around hers, skin touching skin. As soon as I had done that, my brain reminded me that I should be panicked.

I was intimately holding a woman who I disliked but who I knew 'loved' me in her own weird way. I was physically close to her and I wasn't allowed to move, otherwise her condition would get worse. I should be feeling...trapped. But I wasn't. I felt calm.

As soon as I had stilled my actions I could see that me holding her was doing Leah good. Her colour was returning, she wasn't as pale on the face as before and she was getting very warm.

I had been close enough to Jacob to know just how much heat radiates from his body, but I had never pictured the heat to be this intense. I felt...like somehow, I could be warm again, instead of cold. I felt almost human, because Leah's rising body heat was spreading warmth through my ice cold body. I liked it, oddly enough, I was content with such a foreign feeling, a feeling I haven't felt for over seventy years.

I listened as her heart slowed down to a 'normal' pace. It had been going too fast before, as if working extremely hard to fix Leah's body. Now it was at a pace that matched Jacob's. Then I stiffened again.

Dios, I'm an idiot...I was holding someone who was alive, someone who had a working heart and blood.

This was a problem because, unlike the Cullens, I didn't choose to be a 'vegetarian' as they called it. I had to, for convenience sake. I couldn't eat humans while trying to outrun wolves who were hunting my trail. It didn't bother me when I was in the same room as Jacob and his pack, but there was a reason I avoided touching them, besides the fact that they scared me a little.

I chose to avoid eating humans for my own sake; the Cullens did it for the humans' sake. When I compared it like that it made me sound so evil. Great model citizen you are Crista.

Yet, now that I think about it, whenever I was around any of the wolves, the La Push wolves and even Aramis' wolves, I didn't feel that desire to eat them, that want, that blood lust. Why? Probably for another reason I am unaware of. I didn't realise just how much information we needed to know about this world. I had to start learning. I hate being kept in the dark.

I was pulled from my thoughts when Leah nuzzled into my neck, her nose rubbing into my skin. The action felt so familiar, so animal and primal and then I remembered where I had seen it before.

On one or two occasions, I had to cross the border into Canada to escape the werewolves. One night I was hunting for any animal I could get my hands on to eat. Anything, quickly, before I snapped and hunted the small town of people who I knew were only fifty miles away from me.

I came across a cave, and I heard hearts beating, and low breathing. I went inside to find a wolf pack, actual wolves. They were white, fluffy and surprisingly small. I had never seen animal wolves before. Despite being hunted by werewolves for so long, I had found these wolves cute, they were not threatening nor intimidating.

I stepped closer, so that I could bite the biggest wolf in the pack, which was the Alpha male by the looks of him. Then a small action stilled my movements.

There were cubs, six of them. Five were lying against the mother and the sixth was lying beside the father. Its head was moving just slightly. As I stepped closer I noticed that it was nuzzling its small snout into the Alpha's neck. For some reason the action intrigued me. Why was the cub doing such a thing? As affection or for warmth? Interesting...

I had pondered on that thought as I left the cave, stomach still empty, and still hunting for something to eat.

Now as I was laying here, with a female werewolf in my arms and nuzzling my neck, thinking back on that particular night, I realised what had intrigued me about the action. I had never seen animals display a human type of affection and love before.

Maybe wolves just did it, or maybe, again, there is a lot I don't know. Perhaps other animals that I have yet to stumble across displayed such actions with each other?

I let my thoughts go, that was enough for the night. I just wanted nothingness. I cleared my mind of the past and the future, and just focused on the present, which, believe it or not, was easier. I was holding someone close to me, which not only was helping them but was helping me.

I was noticing that I was starting to develop a comfort with touching people. I wasn't as uncomfortable with it as I was before. I wonder how long my body knew that but not my brain?

Maybe the next time Emmett initiated a hug, I could hug back. Or I could initiate hugging him, or holding Bella's hand. Or even playing thumb wars with Seth, as the last time he had wanted to play, no one could at the time and he respected me enough to not even ask me when everyone else had said no.

I focused back onto Leah. She had stilled her movements of nuzzling my neck and was now just sleeping, without moving or looking restless as she had outside. I looked at her face, as much of it as I could, and noticed she also had three claw marks on her cheek.

As my eyes travelled down her body I noticed, more now than before when we were outside, the extent of her injuries. Wherever I saw skin, I saw claw marks and bruising, as well as teeth marks here and there. I almost winced, she must have been in a fight with her pack, in her condition too that was suicidal... and stupid. But sadly not abnormal, according to what I have heard in conversation, Leah was always feisty and temperamental.

I raised my hand and ran my thumb across her cheek, entrance by the pink colour of the abrasions. My broken skin, my 'cuts', were white, as vampire skin was like porcelain, in both colour and texture.

I preferred the pinkness of Leah's cuts; it meant that she, just like other wolves and humans, was alive. I cannot even remember the last time I had accidently cut myself and I saw my blood spill out from the surface. Now, whenever I got injured, it was just white, plain white. Such a dead colour.

I re-focused back onto Leah's cheek and did a double take. Her scratches, had they faded? Or was I now use to them, so their intensity was less absorbed by my brain? How odd. It must be the latter.

I paused yet again. Without even realising it, I was drawing circles with my forefinger across Leah's skin, on her back. The action felt oddly affectionate and intimate. I stopped. What the hell was wrong with me?

Why had I decided that our skin touching would be beneficial to her condition? It was an instinctual decision and I hadn't even thought twice or questioned it. I was so close to moving away from her, to taking five pillows and sleeping on the lounge down stairs. But I didn't.

No one had to find out. I just had to wake up before Leah woke up and before the Cullens got home. This was easy said and done because I was rarely a heavy sleeper. I couldn't afford to be. I had to sleep with alertness and with some instincts still switched on.

On some nights since I've been here I have switched off from the world and truly slept without being on guard, but those nights caused me stressed. The nightmares were worse because they affected me worse. When you lower your defences, you lower your walls, your barriers. Things can hurt you more.

So I relaxed, while still being aware of the fact that I was holding someone and that I needed to be awake in a few hours.

I focused on a thought to start off my 'sleep' and I closed my eyes and soon felt myself becoming consumed by my subconscious. The last thought that I formed, before I disappeared into my mind, was that, for some weird reason, Leah was the only wolf I wasn't scared of; strange, another thing that hadn't occurred to me until now.

Oddly enough, during the course of my sleep and my dreams, my thoughts had taken me to a river bed, where a family of wolves lived, however, instead of me being an observer and an outsider I was a part of them.

I was a wolf, standing beside another wolf. My body was black but sometimes when I looked in the river it was grey. The wolf beside me had annoyed me, somehow I knew she had and somehow I knew she was a female wolf. I growled at her, baring my teeth in annoyance. She backed down and submitted to me, which calmed my anger. Then I laid against her and fell asleep, I was content and I was home.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Leah's POV -

I felt incredibly warm, which was weird because the sun was a rare sight in Forks. So it couldn't be the sun. Though whatever it was, I wouldn't mind keeping it, I haven't felt so relaxed since...sadly, I cannot recall an actual time when I have felt so at peace. Goes to show how screwed my life is.

Oh fuck, unless, I'm dead? I can't even recall the last thing I had done.

And what was with the chuckling? Did Seth have friends over? But the chuckling sounded nearby...little bastards, they were invading my room! Time to completely wake up and give them a piece of my mind!

I opened my eyes, my conscious tearing my subconscious from the dream world. Now that I was fully awake, I almost wished I had stayed asleep, almost, because it would be easier than trying to describe what I felt about the current situation I was in.

I was lying on a foreign bed, entangled with someone else, my face pressed into their neck. Now here is where it got interesting. This 'someone else' had pale skin, yet not as pale as any of the Cullen's skin, and from what I could tell of the way the body felt against me, this person was a female.

Pale, female, made me feel better...oh shit! I snapped my head up and away from the female's neck in an instant.

Honestly, if someone had asked me, I couldn't tell you what I felt when my eyes came across the woman I was lying against. All I know was that the feeling was positive, that's the only way I could describe what type of feelings my brain and heart were generating. Other than that, no other words could amount to it, could justify it enough.

Crista. She was the one I had been using as a pillow. What the fuck? How? When? Shit she is staring at me! I must look like a moron. Say something, stupid!

"I-I..." Perfect Leah, way to sound intelligent...

It was hard to formulate any coherent word at this moment. Why? One reason, okay maybe many, but here was the main one: I was sitting up, on a bed, in the embrace of the vampire I was... 'in love' with, her arms were still wrapped around my body, which meant she had been holding me all night.

I was utterly speechless or incapable of any motor functioning. All I could do was stare at her eyes. I couldn't look into them, because she was keeping me out, but her face held a questioning and curious look to it, as if pondering on my next choice of action or words.

She'd be waiting a long time, because even though I couldn't say or do anything except stare at her, I was content with that prospect.

"Well, well, well. We should leave you alone more often Crista, if it means us getting to walk in on this suggestive scene every time...OW! Rose!"

"You idiot."

I snapped my head around to my right, to see the entire Cullen family and Jake, standing in the open doorway, watching Crista and I with mixed looks of amusement, curiosity and attentiveness. So it was them who were chuckling...they found us like this!

"Uh, well, by the looks of you two, you both seem completely fine. We will be downstairs making breakfast, please join us whenever you want." Esme said, before closing the door, even against some of their protests.

"Oh come on! We are gonna miss the good part! Ouch, Rose!"

"Most of the time, you shouldn't say words!"

I watched the closed door for a few seconds, before turning my head back onto Crista. I wish I knew what she was thinking! Because it would then help me decide on what to do without setting her off in any negative way.

She stared back at me for a few seconds before letting her arms drop from around my waist. My skin was tingling a little, already missing her touch.

She then stood up, making her way towards a dresser. I blushed when my eyes travelled her body.

She was wearing black shorts which shouldn't even be described as shorts; underwear probably suited the description better, as they only stopped an inch or two below her butt cheeks. She had been holding me while wearing that? You idiot Leah, you sleeping was blasphemy!

And she was wearing a small dark green t-shirt that had a band name on them, a t-shirt which reminded me of the past, as she turned back around, sure enough, I could clearly see 'Guns n Roses' printed onto her chest; briefly reminding me of Kaya.

Overall, she looked incredibly sexy and it took all of my willpower to keep my eyes on her face, which didn't 'cool down' the view at all. This is what confused me about this whole imprinting thing. How is it I am finding a female so attractive? When I have never looked at one in such a way before? And why did it feel so natural to me?

She walked back towards me and laid some folded clothes beside me. I looked down at the clothes then back up at her. In those two brief seconds she had put on jeans and was wearing a long sleeved cardigan over her t-shirt. Why was she covering up for?

Before I could continue on with that question in my thoughts, she indicated to the bundle of clothes by pointing at them. They were for me to wear? I looked down at what I was wearing; my clothes weren't torn or tattered, so there was no point for me to change them.

"No... but thanks anyway." I said to her. Idiot, you could have said it in a better way. Way to choke.

She nodded once and then nodded her head towards her right, indicating for me to follow her out the window...out the window?

She walked towards her window and opened it. And without looking back at me, she jumped. I rose to my feet in an instant and ran to the open window. I looked down, just catching a glimpse of her at the forest edge before she disappeared into it.

Thankfully, there was a tree near the window, because that way I could jump out without having to change into a wolf. I didn't want to rip my clothes, and then have to face Crista naked, that would be completely weird and awkward, if not, a little suggestive.

Though she offered me clothes to wear, I don't think I would be able to concentrate on anything with her scent surrounding me like that.

So I leaped out through the window onto the tree, climbed down the tree a little, and then jumped the rest of the way to the ground. A sickly sweet smell came to my senses and without turning around, I could tell that some of the Cullens were staring at me through an open window. Guess I can't blame them for their curiosity.

As I made my way towards the forest edge, my anxiety rose with every step. What would happen as soon as I disappeared into those dark trees? Would Crista attack me? Revenge for me opening my big mouth? I tried contemplating another scenario but none were realistic enough for me to build on. The only way I see this turning out was me getting attacked by Crista and honestly speaking, I have no idea how to feel about that.

I stopped as I approached the edge of the forest. One more step and I would become enveloped in its darkness. I let out a deep breath, preparing myself for some major big ass kicking.

I closed my eyes and walked into the shadows. After walking a few steps I opened my eyes to a small forest clearing. My breath caught for a few seconds, Crista had brought me to the same forest clearing we had met her at. The same clearing from the night I had angered her so greatly that it had apparently, according to Jacob, broken down her psychological walls, allowing Edward to hear her thoughts for the first time.

'Pack, this is the new vampire.'

'So how long will you be staying here?'

'What about her coven? Or her family? Doesn't she have any?'

'She probably ate them and then ran away.'

'Jacob, get Leah out of here!'

'And why did you have to hurt her feelings in the first place? She didn't do anything wrong by us!'

I shook my head, clearing my thoughts from the memories of that night. It had been the worse guilt trip I have ever been through, as well as the biggest wake up call. It's funny how it takes extreme moments for people to see the light.

My eyes scanned the clearing until they landed on Crista, who was leaning beside a tree, with her arms crossed, eyebrow raised and staring at me with an air of patience.

You know what's funny? Or ironic, if that is even the right word to use. Due to the fact that I am short fused, a lot of people, with the exception of Malila, treat me like a ticking time bomb that is about to go off at any second. Because of this, I am the dominant one in any situation, as I am treated with caution. Interestingly enough, I like it, because fear is often a substitute for respect.

I say this now, because at this moment, Crista was making me feel incredibly inferior and submissive. Maybe because I needed her, not the other way round. It's ironic, because the one person I now want respect from most probably sees me as being unworthy of it.

The weird thing about all of this was that I didn't mind feeling like this around Crista, even though it was going against my nature.

I swallowed the growing lump of nervousness in my throat and walked towards her. I didn't know how physically close I was allowed to be to her now. How much was pushing it? How much until I had crossed her personal barrier?

All I could do was test it out, so I walked slowly, approaching her with the same care one would do if they were approaching a startled deer, or me. And, success, it worked. No sooner had I reached a four meter distance from Crista, she raised her left hand in the halt gesture, causing me to automatically halt any further movement.

Now there was just silence. All I could do was watch her, as it seemed she was having some internal battle with herself.

The silence was finally interrupted after a painfully long five minutes.

"Does sleeping outside my window every night help you?"

Her voice wasn't how I imagined it to be. Though, honestly speaking, how far could one imagine another's voice to sound? I had thought that because of her cracked skin, her voice would hold an air of weakness. I was proven wrong. It didn't.

Her voice had strength behind it, as if every time she uttered a word, it commanded respect and attention. There was no uncertainty, no doubt. She spoke with an air of confidence laced with the extremely faint markings of a Hispanic accent. And it was...nice. I liked hearing her speak.

I halted my thoughts as her question finally hit home. What? Out of everything she could have possibly said or asked as her first ever words to me, she chose to go with that? What's worse is, I had an answer, but I was too embarrassed to give it.

So I didn't respond. However, when I saw that she was being patient with me and waiting for an answer I realised that I was the one acting like a child. God, the only reliable thing about me is that I am terrible at first impressions. How pathetic.

"It d-does." I coughed a little to clear my throat, weakly hoping that coughing would somehow give me courage and lower my pride, "Yes it does, only a little though, just enough to get by for the day, until night time again." Huh, it worked.

Crista merely nodded in response to my answer, her expression was calculating and full of thought and it was making me a little uneasy.

"And how do you feel now?" She asked, surprising me again. Where was the anger, the violence, my punishment for being a bitch?

"Uh, I feel fine. Better, even."

I didn't want to say to her that I had never felt so relaxed nor had such an amazing sleep before in my life, I will lower my pride, but not that much.

"So it won't be necessary for you to come back tonight, will it?"

For some reason, this question hurt the area where my heart was, only just a little though, hopefully not enough to show the disappointment on my face.

"N-no." I answered, raising my chin a little higher so that I didn't look wounded by her words.

"Okay."

Okay? That was all she was going to say to me? She wasn't going to confront me about my imprinting on her?

Crista unfolded her arms from her chest and began to step away from the tree, away from the clearing, and away from me, back towards the Cullen's house.

No. "Wait!"

She kept walking.

"Please?" I needed to discuss this matter with her, no matter what, I can't let her leave.

"Crista." I tried again. Fuck, my voice...it sounded close to breaking, even though on the inside I felt stronger...well I thought I did. I guess my resolve isn't as great as I thought it was.

'Please don't walk away', I repeatedly begged in my head. Geez, Leah, since when?

She stopped. Crista actually listened to me and halted any further movement, though she didn't turn back around to face me.

Come on you idiot, she stopped, now is your moment, so don't fuck this up. You're Quileute, show some strength and spirit!

"Crista, I know you are aware of the situation I am in, involving you."

Crista's shoulders tensed, so that was a 'yes'.

"And, I'm... I'm not asking anything like that from you. I have to... just to see you more, even for a moment... just so I can get by."

"Is that what you want?" She asked with curiosity.

My ears perked up at her question, in half hope that she would agree.

"Yes." I answered back, though too quickly for my liking.

"It won't last."

"What?" I wasn't even allowed to glance at her, for a few seconds, in the future?

"You will always need more." Oh.

I'm glad she didn't say 'want', she said 'need'. Crista, unbeknownst to her, allowed me dignity in this situation and I was grateful for it. It made things easier for me to allow myself the ignorance to believe that I only wanted her company to keep me alive, not because I lov-, I mean, not because I imprinted on her.

"How do you figure?" I asked.

Normally I snap at people when they presume things about me, but I asked Crista out of genuine curiosity. Plus snapping at her would make me a hypocrite, as I did it to her not that long ago in this same clearing.

"I can see it in the way Jacob looks at Renesmee. That kind of... 'love' is strong. Just a few moments of my time won't be enough for you."

I let out a sigh. I knew where I had to go with this.

"Okay. Well you know my situation. I will leave it up to you to decide my fate." I said, with certainty in my voice. Whatever the outcome, I was content either way. If she said yes, then I could spend time with her and not die, if she said no, I died.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not suicidal, but I'm not going to push her. As long as she was happy with her answer, then I will be okay. Wait where did that come from? Fuck this imprinting shit.

"One moment, so you are leaving it up to me to decide whether to put up with you and let you live, or keep distance and let you die?" Crista asked, anger evident in her voice.

Though on the other hand, when she put it that way, it sounded almost cunning of me to leave the choice to her.

I took a small step towards her and it took me a moment to realise why. Crista angry was incredibly intimidating... yet incredibly hot...wait stop that! No to those thoughts!

"Uh, yes?" I answered back, grateful that she didn't notice my step towards her.

"Maldita séa!" She angrily muttered under her breath.

Was that Spanish? You see? Hot!

Shit, no! Stop it.

"What?" I asked, though I wasn't expecting a translation.

"It means 'damn it'."

Well I'll be damned, she translated.

"God damn imprinting." Crista whispered to herself, as she began to pace for a few seconds.

"Yeah." I said before I could stop myself. I was slightly amused by her pacing. It's rare seeing vampires restless. Crista was fidgety when angry, as well as feisty and native to her tongue. This made me smile a little, immediately stopping though when Crista discontinued her pacing and looked up at me.

"You know, that's incredibly cunning of you." She said. Yeah, well had to be done.

'I know Crista and I'm sorry.'

"I know." I answered back, slightly shaking my head at my conflicting thoughts.

"Fine, when you see it fit, you're welcome to stop by."

"Alright." I responded, grateful the entire situation was settled, for now. I wasn't sure if I should thank her or not. It was an odd situation to say 'thank you' in.

She took my response as the conclusion to our conversation. She looked at me for a maximum of two seconds and then turned around and disappeared into the darkness of the trees.

After a few minutes, I let out a very long breath and walked towards the tree Crista had been near. I placed my back against it and slid down, sitting on the forest floor. I pulled my knees to my chest and placed my forehead against them.

Well... that was intense, to say the least. Now I know what people mean when they describe something as a 'head fuck'. I concentrated on my breathing, the action calming down my racing mind. I couldn't keep up with it. Too much has happened in the last 24 hours. I wasn't exhausted in the physical sense though, thanks to Crista. I was just mentally drained.

Being somewhat temporarily bipolar can do that to you, and speaking of which, I needed to sort out my thoughts! One minute I'm feeling or saying something and then the next minute I was disagreeing with myself or contradicting myself. Who the fuck does that?

How is it I can be completely selfless and think about Crista and her wellbeing? And then the next minute force Crista to decide on a difficult ultimatum? Since when do I play on people's guilt? Oh wait, since you got dumped. Fuck my life.

I leaned my head back, away from my knees, and against the tree trunk. As I looked up at the morning sun trying to sneak its way through the outskirts of the forest clearing, and failing terribly, I was reminded of something.

It was a week until the full moon. I pondered as I absentmindedly ran my knuckles gently across my left cheek.

Firstly, I could not believe how much had happened between this upcoming full moon and the last. From me imprinting on Crista to reconciling with Malila, it has definitely been an interesting few weeks.

Secondly, I now knew what I had to do. I had a cliff to visit and a ritual to be done. I was now focusing so much optimism into this ritual, placing the fate of my thoughts in its hands. This was important and it has to work!

This time, I will not be deterred due to other events, this time I was keeping my appointment with the Gods.

FLASHBACK: 15 MINUTES AGO -

Crista's POV -

I had to hide, if I didn't they would come and find me. I needed to find a place to hide. Where? Not here... not there! They're going to kill me! Someone called my name. Who was that? I opened the door at the end of the corridor, expecting to find an empty room to hide. Instead, I saw a figure with pale skin and long hair... Aramis? No, it was... me.

I widened my eyes in fear and turned around, running away from myself. I suddenly heard laughter, distant, yet echoing all around me. Stop! ... I suddenly felt calm. I was at the top of my favourite tree, I jumped off, yet instead of falling, I was flying, I felt the warmth of the sun against my neck and the smell of the forest filling my nose...

Wait, this isn't right. The sense of smell doesn't exist in dreams, not even in mine. My eyes snapped open, taking in the sight of my ceiling. I didn't snap up out of bed like I usually do when I awaken on alert. I just... I just stayed there. I felt a stirring on my chest and air on my neck.

I looked down, my eyes landing on... Leah? Oh God. I had forgotten. Before I could think much on this situation I looked to my right, sensing myself being watched.

I was right, and God, how I hated the fact that I was right. The entire Cullen family were back from their trip and were standing at the door opening, looking at me with curiosity. My eyes landed on Jasper and before I could stop myself...

"Did you control my emotions again?" I asked him, whispering so as not to awaken Leah. I have to get up before she wakes. I just wasn't sure how I was going to accomplish that with any grace while being watched and without waking Leah.

"Yes." He answered, amused. Great, even Jasper found my situation humorous!

"Sorry, I told him to, I saw your dreams." Edward said with sympathy in his eyes. "Plus we are aware of how you awaken, you have Leah in your arms, you could have hurt her."

'I don't awaken that badly.' I thought in my head, causing Edward to grin.

"Forget that boring stuff. Tell us why we walk in on you two, obviously having spent the night together and I see no video camera in sight for you to show your good, older brother Em of your late night activities?" Emmett said, causing the entire family to chuckle, while Rosalie and Carlisle slapped him upside the head.

I was about to defend myself when I heard Leah sigh.

This is bad.

Leah moved her head a little, nuzzling my neck then suddenly freezing, causing me to freeze. I felt Leah tilt her head back a little; she was probably trying to identify her 'pillow'. Then after a few seconds, her head snapped away from my neck and she sat up, her eyes finding mine.

The closest word I could come across to even begin to describe the look on her face was shock. It matched her erratic heartbeat, which I had only just become aware of.

"I-I..." Leah stuttered. You see? Shock.

All I could do was stare at her because it helped me keep my emotions in check, or was that Jasper? Either way, I guarded my eyes of my emotions, and remained fixated on hers. What would she do?

"Well, well, well. We should leave you alone more often Crista, if it means us getting to walk in on this suggestive scene every time...OW! Rose!"

"You idiot."

I almost buried my face in my palm at Emmett's stupidity. He had startled Leah, causing her to abruptly change her attention towards the door way.

"Uh, well, by the looks of you two, you both seem completely fine. We will be downstairs making breakfast, please join us whenever you want." Esme said. She then closed the door, even against Emmett's protesting.

"Oh come on! We are gonna miss the good part! Ouch, Rose!"

"Most of the time, you shouldn't say words!"

As soon as the door closed, I re-focused my attention back onto Leah. A few seconds later she regained her focus on me. I observed her face carefully, trying to find a hint of what she could be thinking hidden in her eyes. I think I saw caution, though I don't know why.

Perhaps the fact that I was holding her was making her uneasy or feeling entrapped. I could understand that feeling, so I let my arms drop from her waist. Regrettably they were already becoming cold.

Then I stood, suddenly realising that I was far too underdressed, it was both inappropriate and uncomfortable. My marked body on display. That was not exactly a comforting or pleasant thought. I needed coverage.

I walked towards my dresser. Locating the clothes I needed by a sniff from my nose. I walked back towards Leah, placing some fresh clothes beside her, for her to change if she wished. She looked down at the clothes, while she was doing this I had jumped into my jeans and placed my arms in a cardigan just as she had looked up again.

She looked surprised. Why? Did she not understand that the clothes were for her? I pointed at them. Hoping she would get the message.

"No... but thanks anyway." Leah said, looking grateful at first and then strangely wincing after she had spoken. I'm glad she understood. I wasn't ready to speak to her just yet, I needed a few minutes.

I nodded at her and then nodded towards the window, hoping she would interpret correctly again. I opened the window and jumped out, my feet landing on solid ground. I always enjoyed free falling, it was one of the reasons why I sat on the tallest tree in Forks, just so that I could jump off of it when I had finished my, as Emmett like to put it, 'emo time'.

I made my way towards the forest edge, disappearing under the trees just as I heard the slight increase in volume at Leah's heartbeat, which must mean she was at the window's ledge, staring down after me.

I continued walking, heavy thoughts burdening my mind, even though I had yet to acquaint with them. I had to sort out my thoughts. Why was my mind becoming so cluttered? I thought about the situation and what position I was currently in.

I had sort of saved Leah's life last night by disrespecting her personal space and holding her while we slept. She had awoken and witnessed me holding her. I had been wearing inappropriate sleep attire, was walked in on by the Cullens and I should also consider that miniscule detail that she, oh yeah...imprinted on me!

What a mess. I didn't know what to do. This was a situation I didn't know how to settle and could you blame me? Since when have people ever had to deal with the situation where their universally appointed 'soul mate' wishes to claim you, yet you oppose of the idea?

There was also the matter of our first meeting. I still want to speak to her about it, but something was telling me to withhold that conversation for another day. However, I did not want there to ever be another day shared between us again. I just wanted to be left alone. I could handle dealing with the Cullen's issues if need be. But my personal life was a lot more complex, therefore I wanted it avoided. I wasn't ready to deal with my life, I was happy just being a drifter.

I suddenly felt warmth against my skin. I looked up and noticed I had stumbled across a clearing. The very same clearing from the night I had almost ripped off Leah's head due to my rage and her provoking. Odd that I would end up back here, yet ironic. This area would have to do.

The sun wasn't shining all the way through, due to the trees still being far too thick for a complete ray to shine through, however it was a lot denser than the rest of the surrounding forest, so it provided enough light.

I heard Leah's heartbeat continue to rise as she made her way towards the forest edge. A few more steps and she would be within this very clearing. It wasn't far from the Cullen house at all.

I now felt a sense of anxiety overcome me. What would I say to her? I had summoned her here. I had wanted to talk. What was she expecting of me? What was I expecting of me? What did I want? To be left alone? But at what cost? Was she fully healed or did she require me further?

I let out a deep breath. I needed to calm down. There was no reason to panic. I would just play it by ere and hopefully, Leah would lead the discussion. I sighed and crossed my arms, leaning myself against the tree just as she entered the clearing.

Why did she look afraid? Did she think I was going to hurt her, or was it something else? Now that I thought about it, I wouldn't trust my stability either, especially since I am somewhat hostile to strangers and nearly attacked her on our first meeting.

As Leah took in her surroundings, one could see that her mind was elsewhere. Remembering? Perhaps it had been a bad idea to select this spot? Wait, stop. Stop caring...

Leah shook her head and then allowed her eyes to travel around the clearing, until they stopped on me. I tensed immediately. I raised my eyebrow so that she wouldn't notice and awaited her next move.

She stared for a few seconds and then proceeded to close the distance between us. I didn't like this. She was taking cautious steps. Am I that much of an animal? Or is my appearance as intimidating as Jasper's? Either way, I did not want her so close to me, as soon as my discomfort grew to almost unbearable, I raised my hand. She got the hint, Leah ceased any further steps.

Leah stood before me, her eyes awaiting my command. So I guess it was up to me to start this. What would I say first? How should I say it? How should I word it? So many words flew past my mind, so many ways of starting this conversation.

I only wanted it to be small. It was inappropriate to have been in the situation Leah and I had been in last night, and not say anything about it afterwards. My problem right now was that it was a lot easier said than done, so to speak.

Finally, I started with the easiest thing to ask.

"Does sleeping outside my window every night help you?" Stupid question, but it was a start, even though I already knew the answer.

She looked surprised at me. Was she expecting me to ask something else? Great, now I'm curious to her thoughts.

Leah didn't answer for a while, so I waited patiently. Great thing about being a vampire is that patience is an acquired skill. Funny though, I was so very different as a human, well I think I was, the memory was as clear as a water coloured image.

I was pulled from my chain of thoughts when I saw Leah's mouth begin to mouth to formulate an answer.

"It d-does." She answered with fragility, coughing, then to my surprise continuing further. "Yes it does, only a little though, just enough to get by for the day, until night time again." Now she sounded much stronger.

I nodded in response, now deciding on my next question.

"And how do you feel now?" I finally asked. God, I hated the sound of my own voice. It wasn't the way I remembered it. Perhaps there was more than one reason behind why I stopped speaking to begin with.

"Uh, I feel fine. Better, even." Leah answered, though I felt that she had filtered her response.

I was ready with my next question.

"So it won't be necessary for you to come back tonight, will it?"

Don't analyse, just remain focused on her answer. Stop reading the truth behind her eyes. Ignore the disappointed look.

"N-no." She answered and in doing so with her head held high.

Good.

"Okay." Was all I answered. I turned around to leave, before I lost my cold resolve.

"Wait!"

No Leah, I can't.

"Please?"

For your own sake, stop. You're just a child.

So are you Crista.

Yeah... I know.

"Crista."

Something in her voice broke me. I stopped, surprising myself more than I surprised her.

I didn't turn around to face her though, I couldn't. Due to guilt? Yes, probably...most definitely.

"Crista, I know you are aware of the situation I am in, involving you." Well, I hadn't expected her to be that direct.

"And, I'm... I'm not asking anything like that from you. I have to... just to see you more, even for a moment... just so I can get by."

Is that her talking, or the imprinting?

"Is that what you want?" I asked her.

"Yes." She answered back, almost immediately.

Leah. It won't be enough.

"It won't last." I told her.

"What?"

"You will always need more." And I can't give that to you, sorry.

"How do you figure?" She asked me, where was she going with this?

"I can see it in the way Jacob looks at Renesmee. That kind of... 'love' is strong. Just a few moments of my time won't be enough for you."

It was the truth.

Leah sighed.

"Okay. Well you know my situation. I will leave it up to you to decide my fate." She said, strength and certainty returning to her voice.

What the...? Is this where she was directing the conversation all along? Was it always going to be up to me to decide? Why is it up to me? Can't I just be left alone?

"One moment, so you are leaving it up to me to decide whether to put up with you and let you live, or keep distance and let you die?" I asked, my anger bubbling to the surface.

"Uh, yes?" Leah answered, stepping a little closer towards me. What, did she have a death wish?

"Maldita séa!" I angrily cursed under my breath. Crista, calm down, just breath...

"What?" Leah asked me.

"It means 'damn it'." I answered automatically while in thought. What am I to do now?

"God damn imprinting." I muttered to myself as I started a pace. Walking always helps me when it comes to solving idiotic dilemmas.

"Yeah." Leah whispered. Oh God, there was a slight pain behind that whisper, as well as exhaustion and it was already starting to affect my guilt and sympathy. How can ten minutes of someone's time be so altering? As much as I disliked her, this particular issue wasn't her fault. I looked up.

"You know, that's incredibly cunning of you." I said before I could stop myself. Now that I thought about it, I probably would have done the same thing if the role was reversed.

"I know."

"Fine, when you see it fit, you're welcome to stop by." Crista, what are you doing? You're getting too involved.

For the time being, I am involved whether I like it or not.

Not really-

Shut up! I'm not going to let her die. Don't forget who you are.

"Alright." Leah answered, interrupting my internal battle and concluding our conversation.

I'm glad she didn't say 'thank you', it was both too foreign and too inappropriate for this particular situation.

Before anything else happened, I left, disappearing back into the forest.

END FLASHBACK

I let out a deep breath to help me deal with the intensity of that situation. I couldn't help the feeling that my life will, from now on, never be the same. I also felt a little different, as if I've grown or changed, or something.

I cast aside those thoughts for now as the Cullen residence came into view, with the entire family waiting at the open front door for me to return. The gesture almost made me smile as it warmed my heart a little.

"So...? What's going on?" Emmett asked as I stopped before them. They all looked at me expectantly. I know they hadn't heard the conversation, which was the point of me leaving as Leah and I had needed the privacy to converse.

Their curiosity was well placed, for all they knew, I could have killed her.

"We are okay... for now." I added as an afterthought, who knew what the future would bring? It wasn't set in stone.

"That's debatable." Edward said in response to my thoughts, or even my voiced dialogue.

I shrugged. "Perhaps, but it's not important at the moment." I said.

Many of them frowned, "Then what is?" Bella asked.

"The present; I want to do something for myself for once." I answered.

"And what is that?" Carlisle asked.

"I want to learn."

"Learn what?" Jacob said as he held Renesmee. I looked at the couple for a few seconds before responding.

"Everything."

I want to know things. I wanted to know more about imprinting, know how it was possible for Bella and Edward to have a child, I want to know why vampires don't eat wolves, I want to learn how the boys can fix their cars so quickly, how Alice knows that orange 'clashes' with green, and most importantly, I want to know more about me, about the extent of my apparent 'importance' to Aramis.

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

"Say your prayers little one, don't forget my son, to include everyone, I tuck you in, warm within, keep you free from sin, 'til the sandman he comes."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-

Lyrics by Metallica's 'Enter Sandman', I thought it was fitting of the chapter! ^_^ Please review! I hope you liked this chapter! I wanted a 'unique' way of meeting one's imprintee, something no one else would write about or think would happen. Hope this was okay. Thanks for reading! I also wanted to say, I deeply apologise for having you wait so long for an update! Now that this chapter is over with, I'm aiming on shortening them a bit, so that I can update more frequently. Thank you for being patient with me. I can't believe this chapter took me six months to write -_- sigh... ce la vie. Goes to show how life gets in the way.

P.s Crista and Leah's wolf dreams are ones I've had the past few months (weird huh?) :D

Pp.s Crista's memories at the beginning of this chapter will be brought up (hopefully) throughout this story.

I would also like to thank my friend, 'A', who is my unofficial Beta and a fellow Gai Sensei fan! (Gai Sensei FTW!) She has a critical eye and reads like a hundred words per second. She read this chapter for me because Metallica are her Gods. Thanks A! ^_^ YOUTH to you! :D 3