A/N: Thanks for everyone who's reading/reviewing. I appreciate all the feedback. It's good to know there are still people out there lurking in dark Twilight FanFiction corners. I know I am.
Disclaimer: I don't own it, I just play with it.
Edward
The drive to Seattle on Saturday is nerve wracking, to say the least. I spend about half of the drive wiping my clammy palms off on my pants. I'm terrified but I'm not sure what of.
I can't figure out if I'm scared Tanya will find out about what I'm doing or if I'll mess this up with Bella. I haven't dated in so long, haven't had to woo a woman in so long, I'm not sure I remember how.
If I think back, I can remember some of the tricks I used on Tanya. The lines. I remember leaving notes in her car that she would find on her way to school and buying her jewelry just because. It took forever to convince her to go on a date with me, but I was relentless. I knew what I wanted and I didn't stop until I got it.
Now, things are so different. I've lost all of that charisma I once had. I lost all of my charm. Or, maybe I just applied it to my career. I wonder if I can reapply it to my personal life now.
When I walk up to the will call counter at the front of the building, my hands are shaking. I'm not sure if I can go through with this. I mean, maybe I should just get back in the car and go home to my wife.
The clerk at the counter just stares at me while I mentally debate what I should do. I finally give in and give her my name. She hands me one ticket and it's done. Decision made.
When I finally make it to my seat, Bella's friends are already there. They're occupying the 2 seats to the left of mine.
He stands when I approach and he's a lot taller than I thought. He's a few inches taller than my 6'2" build but his smile is genuine. I don't think she's told him about our…situation.
"You must be Edward! I'm Jacob, Bella's friend." He sticks his hand out to shake mine.
I smile back and try my hardest to calm myself down. "Nice to meet you, Jacob." I glance down to the woman sitting in the seat next to him and his eyes follow mine.
"Oh, babe! Sorry! Edward, this is Leah, my girlfriend." Her smile looks a little bit tight and I'm just glad I'm not the only one here who is feeling uncomfortable.
"Nice to meet you, Leah." I shuffle the flowers in my hand and offer her my hand and she takes it easily.
"Nice to meet you, too." Her voice is quiet and she focuses her eyes back on the stage.
I take my jacket off and sit down, placing the flowers at my feet. A quick glance to my watch tells me the show should be starting any minute.
"Is this the first time you've seen her dance?" I glance over to Jacob and see that he's talking to me.
"Umm, no. I've been a few times in the past month." I hope I don't sound as guilty as I feel.
"Oh cool. Yeah, Bella's great. I mean, they're all great. But she's exceptional. She was born to do this" And just like that, I can tell he's close with her. This isn't just a casual friend. They're good friends. The way he talks about her, there's love there. And this, him being here, is more than just a casual meeting. He's screening me for her. She trusts his opinion. I'm not sure what it means that she hasn't told him I'm married.
"I agree. She's amazing at what she does. You can see her love for it clearly." He nods in agreement and I'm hoping this is the end of the casual conversation.
Too many questions about what I do for a living, where I live, and how we met might make me tongue tied. I'm not sure if I'm supposed to make up a story or tell the truth. I'm not sure what Bella wants, I'm not even sure what I want.
Leah's voice is quiet when she speaks, "It's starting."
Just as she says it I notice the lights being dimmed. Once they're barely visible, the curtain raises. In the dark I can make out bodies moving onto the stage and getting into position. After a few minutes of movement, everything goes still.
In that moment, I get really excited. I can't wait to see her up there.
The lights on the stage come on just as the music starts. It's a slow piano melody at first. Simple, really. You have to watch careful to see the dancer's movements. Their feet and arms move once every few seconds, following the rhythm of the song. The move in sync and it's close to perfect. I watch for a mistake, for a stutter in the movement, but it doesn't happen.
My eyes are desperate to find her, but I can't. There are a lot of girls on stage, a lot of brunettes and they all have their hair pulled up into buns. I'm thinking she might be toward the back. But then, there she is. And she's beautiful.
As she comes on to the stage, the song picks up and a string quartet starts in. The music is building as she twirls her way across the stage. Her leg moves forward, then to the side, and then finally to the back with her turn. It's propelling her forward across the stage. The movement is so graceful, it's like second nature for her.
That's when I see her partner moving on to the stage. He steps forward and I can instantly see this is somewhat of a love story they're telling.
He's constantly moving away from her on stage and she's always chasing him, her body a constant blur because of her turns. With each turn she makes, her eyes find him on the stage. I can see the acting that goes into it, the emotion they would need to find in order to tell a story with no words. Just movement and music. I think I respect her even more in that moment.
This takes more than brains. It takes more than a college degree and having a mind that works well with numbers. This takes more than a calculator and Excel.
She continues chasing the man across the stage and he ducks and dodges behind other dancers. 3 dancers fall in line behind her, all spinning wildly, all chasing the same man. Their faces show sadness as they move. It's hard to focus on them, but when I get a brief flash of a face, it's desperate and pleading.
Then, it suddenly changes. The girls are still spinning, but the man is doing something different. He's moving across the stage and performing a short number with each dancer that isn't in Bella's group. And after he lets the dancer go, she joins Bella's group. He touches a dancer; she begins to chase him with Bella.
It continues this way until the man has touched each dancer and they all fall in sync behind Bella. It's incredible watching them all spin in sync, moving to the rhythm of the music. Their skirts flare out with each spin and they seem to pick up speed, if that's even possible.
And then finally, the music peaks and comes to a dramatic stop. As soon as the music stops, the dancers stop moving. The man stays on the far right of the stage with all the girls on the far left. I can see from here that they're all out of breath, their chests rising and falling rapidly.
I notice Bella's the most. I see the way her skin shines on the area above her black leotard and I wish I could taste that skin.
Then, the music starts again but at a much faster tempo. It's building up again.
Before I can even realize what's happening, Bella is again twirling her way across the stage at a furious pace. She's heading right for the man and I sit up in my chair. This is her moment, I just know it.
She twirls her way right into his arms and he lifts her gracefully, twisting her body so she bends backwards over his shoulder. His hands move down her sides as he caresses her and I have to actively remind myself that this is her job, that he is just doing his job.
He moves her again so she's eye to eye with him and he lets her slowly slide down his body. When her feet touch the floor, he releases her and moves off stage.
The final look I get is of Bella crumpled on the ground, seemingly in rejection. Then the curtain falls and everyone applauds. Jacob lets out a loud whistle and turns and grins at me.
After a few minutes of applause, the curtain rises and Bella is there, center stage. She stands in front of the other dancers, with her partner, and then both bow and blow kisses to the audience. Roses are thrown on to the stage and she stops to pick one up and hold it to her nose.
Fuck, I should've brought roses.
She glances up with the rose held to her nose and looks right at me. And I swear to God, her smile gets bigger. That alone is enough to make my night. I smile and wave at her and hope that she really is looking at me, not someone sitting behind me.
She leaves the stage and the other dancers bow and pick up roses and everyone is smiling. It's really quite incredible, the whole thing. The connection these dancers have with each other and the love they have for what they do. And getting to watch it in action, well that's just a bonus for me.
After about 10 minutes, Jacob motions for me to leave the row. I do and follow behind him as he makes his way out of the auditorium. He holds Leah's hand and keeps her close to him as he parts the crowd to get through.
We stop at the bathrooms and then make our way toward the backstage area.
There are rows and rows of vanities lined up against each other backstage. There are clothes and purses and duffel bags everywhere. There's hairspray, makeup, bras, socks, and various other things literally each surface available. I look around for Bella, but don't see her.
Jake just walks right in like he owns the place and turns a corner to go to another room off to the right. In that room, there's a lot of celebrating going on.
A man who must be the director holds a bottle of champagne in his hands and speaks to all of the dancers.
"I cannot tell you enough how incredibly proud of each of you I am. Tonight's show was one of the best this company has ever put on. I hope we can work together again someday." He holds his glass up and all of the dancers mimic the movement.
"Cheers!" And then they all drink.
I hear a high pitched squeal and then I'm being attacked. I drop the bouquet of flowers in the commotion.
"Edward!" I laugh because it's Bella and she's got her arms wrapped around my neck.
"You were incredible." My mouth is right by her ear and when I breathe, I can smell her.
She smells so sweet and musky and I can tell that dancing is a better workout than I thought. Her face is flushed when she looks up at me and it makes my heart stutter a little bit.
"I'm really glad you came." Her voice is quiet now and I know that she's keeping our secret.
It doesn't skip my mind that I'm calling it ours now rather than mine.
"So am I, sweet girl. So am I." I stare right into her eyes when I speak. I want her to know I mean it. That she's worth it. She's worth the risk. I just know it.
I'm not sure if I consciously chose my next move or if my body is acting on it's own. Either way, I don't regret it.
I lean down slightly, still looking right into her eyes. She knows what's coming, she has to. I glance down at her lips and then back up to her eyes and she parts her lips when I do.
I press my lips into hers and it's magic. It's something beyond the English language. I'm not sure I could describe it if I needed to, so I won't try.
And then, when my tongue pokes out and comes into contact with hers, my knees get a little bit wobbly.
We're just a mess of lips and tongues and hands on hips and I can't get enough of her. I can't get enough of her mouth and her eyes and her hands fisted in my shirt. But we're surround by people, including her friends and superiors, and I know we need to cool it.
When we finally separate, I'm breathing hard and she's smiling up at me.
"I think I've wanted to do that since I first saw you." Her voice isn't so quiet now. She's not shy or scared. She's proud.
And I just laugh, because shit, I am too. "Me too."
A/N: Things are about to get really heavy in the next few chapters. I appreciate everyone that's reading and pimping this fic, it's truly astounding to me.
I know cheating is a very sensitive subject. I'm not trying to turn Edward into a saint. He will make mistakes and there will be consequences for those mistakes.