Disclaimer: See chapter 1.
Author's Note: Thanks to all who have enjoyed this story. To all readers, I love you. To reviewers, the ending is dedicated to you.
XXXXXX
Since they had 'passed' Dr. Katherine Foster's counseling sessions with flying colors (and that still shocked both of them), it didn't take long to finally get their divorce papers. As soon as they were completed and filed with the court, their marriage would be dissolved.
"That was easy," Nate said as they arrived back at the apartment. "If by 'easy' you mean it took us seven months and hours of convincing strangers to give us these papers."
"The judge finally agreed to the divorce, hmm?" Sophie asked.
"We'll be free of each other soon," Parker said, and cursed that she didn't sound as exuberantly happy as she was supposed to.
"Congratulations?" Sophie half stated, half asked. She shot a questioning look at Nate who shrugged.
Sensing perhaps that they needed some time alone, Sophie excused herself, joining Eliot and Hardison in the living room. Parker sat down at the table and skimmed over the divorce papers. She picked up a pen, fully intending to sign where indicated, but for some reason, all she ended up doing was tapping it thoughtfully on the table.
Nate sat down across from her. "We finally made it."
"Yeah, we did," she said. She slowly reached up and unfastened her necklace, sliding the ring off. It embarrassed her to do it in front of Nate, and she still couldn't adequately explain why she'd taken to wearing it around her neck, but that didn't matter now. She slid it across the table toward him. "Here, you deserve this back."
He watched her silently for a few moments, then glanced at the ring. Finally he reached over and slid it back to her. "I bought it for you. It's yours."
"Really?" She asked, then cleared her throat, trying to free her voice of emotion. "I mean, thanks." She picked it up and held it tightly in her hand.
She started scanning the documents again, and her hesitation must have emboldened him into saying something he'd suspected for months.
"When were you going to tell me?"
Her eyes snapped up to meet his. "What?"
"Were you ever going to tell me?" He asked, watching as the papers fell from her hands and back to the table. "You weren't, were you?"
"Tell you what?" She asked slowly.
"You can't do it, Parker. Why?"
She thought about denying it. Outright lying to him. Only she found that she simply didn't have it in her anymore. What was the point in continuing to lie, when it seemed he already knew the truth? "You're right," she said quietly, dropping the pen back on the table.
He clasped his hands, pressing them to his mouth. "Tell me why."
She leaned back in her chair and thought for a long moment. She was surprised at his calm. "You know by now how I feel about…well, feelings. What was I supposed to do? Come out and tell you – I mean, risk everything for…" She rubbed her eyes and shook her head. Even now, it was still incredibly hard to say.
He tried another tactic. "What do you remember from that night?"
"Not much, just small things from here and there. I sometimes wonder if what I 'remember' aren't just dreams of how I think the night went. I can't be sure."
He seemed lost in his own memories. "It's about the same for me. Neither of us were sober, and we can blame that, but would it be completely fair?"
She didn't know what to make of that. "What do you mean?"
He picked up the pen she had been unable to use, and for a heart-stopping moment she thought he was going to sign the divorce papers. That pretty much told her everything, didn't it? Except all he did was roll it back and forth in his hands. "What I'm saying is, did we really get married for no reason? Do you remember earlier in the night?"
Actually, she did remember some things. "Yeah, I was gambling a lot. Hardison kept coming to ask me for money, and…" Things were becoming clearer as she talked about them. "Every time he came over he had a drink with him to try and bribe me. It worked, too. I'm going to kill him!" She glanced over to the living room where he was pretending not to eavesdrop on their conversation.
Nate didn't seem too concerned with him. "You kept finding me, no matter what game I was playing. Didn't you ever find it strange that you kept seeking me out that night, and not, say, Eliot? Or Hardison? Or a random stranger?"
Actually, she had, but figured the alcohol had been mostly to blame. "I didn't think about it," she lied.
"What I'm trying to get at," he told her carefully, "is that if you think I never cared for you, you'd be wrong." He decided it was time to face reality – even if that reality involved her hating him forever. "I took advantage of you. I know you hate me for that."
She nearly leapt out of her chair at those words, because they didn't make any sense. "What are you talking about? I'm the one who took advantage of you! I know you have a drinking problem, yet somehow I kept drinking with you, and married you, and – how do you have any respect left for me at all?"
He certainly hadn't been expecting that. "What?"
"I'm sorry, Nate," she said helplessly. "I understand if you hate me. If I were you, I'd hate me, too."
"Are you kidding me?" He stood up and stared down at her. She recognized the anger, but didn't know why he felt it.
"Look what I did!" She exclaimed, standing so she could meet him on even ground, despite how scared she was. "I agreed to marry you. I should have known better. I should have stopped us."
"No – no." He seemed to be in a state of disbelief. "I don't believe this. Are you telling me we've both been thinking we were to blame for that night?"
They'd attracted the attention of their friends, but he couldn't bring himself to care. Not when he had to fix this.
"How can you forgive me?" She asked. "When I can't even forgive myself?"
"No, Parker." He stepped closer to her and waited until she looked at him. "This wasn't your fault. Believe that. Neither of us were thinking straight that night, and I see that now. But I still think there was a reason for it."
She really couldn't believe that he wouldn't blame her for this. She didn't deserve that kind of trust. "What do you mean, a reason?"
"Parker…" he sighed, Foster's words running through his mind no matter how much he tried to banish them. "If we're being entirely honest, I have to admit that I have a…weakness for you."
Was that a good thing? She had no idea. "A what?"
"We made a pretty good married couple, didn't we?" He knew he sounded desperate, but at the moment he was desperate. If he couldn't get her to understand…if she didn't believe him… He didn't want to think about it. The truth was, now that he knew what it was like to be married to her, he didn't know how he could willingly let her go. "I mean, we got along pretty well, we rarely fought…we genuinely cared about each other unlike those couples we saw every day in Foster's waiting room."
"But we didn't have a real marriage," she reminded him defensively. What was he trying to do to her?
Nate put his hands on either side of her face and made sure she was looking at him – really looking at him, before he spoke. "Didn't we?"
"What do you mean?" She whispered.
"I know you don't remember all of that night, Parker. Lots of things are hazy for me, too, but I remember some things. I remember, at one point, how much I wanted to get married. To you."
She leaned back, but he didn't let go of her. She had to believe he was serious, because why would he be lying about it? "What do you want me to say?"
"Why have you been wearing that ring around your neck?" He challenged.
"I don't…" she automatically reached up, forgetting she had taken off the necklace mere minutes before. She looked down at the hand which was still clutching the ring he'd refused to take from her. "I don't know," she insisted.
He smiled at her. "Tell me that you don't expect me to believe that." When she didn't answer he reached out and slowly took the ring from her hand. She wanted to protest but the words died in her throat. "I think you've been struggling with yourself for a long time now about where this belongs," he said, taking her left hand and slipping it on. And that simply wasn't possible. Things like that didn't happen to people like her.
"Nate –" She stared at the ring he'd placed on her finger, because she was terrified.
"Parker, I can't fully explain that night to you. However, I can say that in the months since, I haven't wanted to be with anyone else except you. The only thing that matters now is if you feel the same way."
Instead of answering him directly, she started talking almost as if she hadn't heard what he'd said. "Dr. Foster was always asking me why I kept this ring and I could never give her an answer. Because I really had no idea. And then, not long ago, I realized – it's because when we got married you became my only family. I mean, sure I knew I had this whole team as my friends, but it's been so long since I had any sort of real family. And suddenly I had a husband and it was amazing, that someone had wanted to marry me. That you had wanted to marry me! And getting rid of the ring, that was like throwing everything away and I just couldn't do it because…I cared about you too much."
She glanced up to see Nate watching her. "I didn't want to," she added, "care about you, that is, because it was too risky and I stood to lose so much, but I couldn't help it." She gently touched the ring that was now on her finger for the first time – that she could remember clearly. "I'm sorry."
"Why are you apologizing to me?" He asked.
"Because we aren't supposed to be together," she said helplessly. "You deserve more than me. Look at the five of us – of everyone we are the least likely to be together of any of us!"
"It's me who's not deserving," he whispered, kissing her lightly. "And who cares what anyone else thinks? That has nothing to do with what we feel."
"Does this mean that…you don't want to get divorced?" She whispered, hope working its way into her voice.
"I can't divorce you," he confirmed, taking her hand in his and rubbing his thumb over her wedding ring. For some reason he couldn't look away.
"Good," she tried valiantly to keep her voice steady. "Nate…don't you think it's kind of strange that we're starting our relationship by being married?"
"It is," he agreed, "but what does that matter?" He pulled her closer and kissed her, and she momentarily forgot everything, as vague memories of the past came back to her. It reminded her of the night they'd gotten married, which was somewhat of a shock. She still remembered little from that night, yet everything about Nate – the way he felt, and the way he held her, and the way he kissed her – seemed so familiar. The past and present blurred together into a heady feeling of rightness that would have terrified her if – well, if it hadn't been Nate.
With him she felt…happy. It was a simple way to put it, but it was the only word that could accurately describe it.
Eliot cleared his throat and they both reluctantly turned to look at him. He was leaning over the back of the couch, watching them with interest. "Does this mean you're not getting divorced?"
"You're very astute," Nate told him, as Parker nodded.
"Then what have the last seven months been for?" Eliot complained. "Are you telling me I had to put up with all that for nothing? I pretended to be married and went to couple's therapy! I did trust exercises! Hardison pushed me down a flight of stairs!"
"It wasn't all for nothing," Parker protested, sharing a look with Nate, and she knew what they were both thinking – that the past few months had actually been instrumental in getting them to admit their feelings.
"This is fantastic!" Sophie cried as she came into the kitchen. "Do you know what this means? We can double date all the time now!"
"Uh, on second thought, it's not too late to sign these." Parker made a wild grab for the divorce papers as Sophie pulled her toward the living room.
"Oh sure," Hardison griped, "the four of you go on your merry way and do couple things and where am I? Left at home to watch television, the forgotten fifth wheel. Thanks a lot."
"Hey, nothing's stopping you from finding someone," Eliot told him. "Except that, you know, you're you."
"Wow, wow. Nate did you hear that? Are you going to let him get away with that kind of disrespect?"
"And nothing's changed," Nate remarked, though he was secretly glad. He'd have been worried if it had.
"You should be happy, Hardison," Eliot added. "With so much free time on your hands, you can write another crazy book."
"Hey!" He protested, then seemed to think about it. "You do have a point…"
Sophie was telling Parker about how they had to redecorate Nate's apartment, while Parker tried to argue, but couldn't get a word in edgewise. "I've been wanting to do this for over a year now, but Nate wouldn't let me. I'm guessing you don't have much experience with interior decorating – I'll take the lead on this." She started writing things down they 'needed' to buy.
Parker gave up on trying to talk sense into Sophie, and Hardison caught her eye. "Are you taking notes?"
He'd apparently decided to take Eliot's advice and was jotting things down in a notebook. "You bet I am, this is going into my next book. Dr. Raymond Carrell saves yet another marriage. People are going to love this story, though I may have to change some details to make it more realistic."
"Unbelievable," she muttered.
"You're a fan of pastels, right Parker?" Sophie asked.
"Nate," Parker pleaded, "please tell Sophie that I do not need to go shopping with her. I don't care how bad your taste is, I much prefer it to shopping!"
At times like these he was actually grateful he lived at their headquarters, because it gave him a certain authority. "Everyone, get out," he ordered.
"No problem, I have to get started writing this anyways," Hardison said. Eliot reassured Sophie they'd force Parker to go shopping later, but she still wasn't happy.
"It's not just your place that needs a makeover, Nate. I mean, no offense Parker, but your wardrobe is a bit lacking."
"Out!" Nate said impatiently, holding the door open, as they took their time.
"This is a good opportunity," Sophie insisted, pulling Parker with her out of the apartment, "we can buy some new clothes that will really impress –"
"Parker, what are you doing?" Nate asked, as he leaned against his front door.
Parker turned to him, unhappily. "It's kind of cold that you'd kick me out when –"
"I didn't mean you," he said, and though his voice was exasperated, his eyes held nothing but amusement and warmth as he took her arm and pulled her back into the apartment.
"But –" Sophie protested.
"Let her go," Eliot said calmly.
They could hear Sophie complaining about how it wasn't fair to thwart such a promising shopping trip as the two of them finally left. Parker leaned back against the door, shutting them out, and immensely relieved she'd gotten out of an unwanted expedition.
"If you keep doing things like that," Parker said, slowly grinning, "then we are going to have a very long marriage, indeed."
"I will be doing things like that for as long as you want me to," he told her, stepping closer until she was effectively pinned against the door.
"Trust me when I say I'll be happy if you do that forever," she breathed against his lips.
To her immense disappointment, he didn't take the bait and instead leaned back a few inches. "You know, Parker," he sighed, "there's a saying – after you get married, the thrill is gone."
She narrowed her eyes, because two could play at that game. "I've heard that, as well. Want to go watch some TV? Maybe Meet the –"
He didn't let her finish. "Do you want to test that saying?"
She couldn't help smiling. "Maybe."
"Maybe?"
"Okay, definitely," she conceded.
To her surprise, he didn't make another smart comment, only stared at her for a moment. As she was about to get worried, he spoke, running a finger down the side of her face. "I'm in love with you, you know."
She was surprised at how free she felt to return the gesture, as she touched the side of his face. "I'd hoped, but, no…I didn't really know."
He kissed her again, trying to convey exactly how he felt about her, and from the way she kissed him back, he knew she understood, and reciprocated. "I'm glad you know now," he told her when they broke apart.
"Well, you know I love you, too. I think our thrill is just beginning," she told him, and she wasted no time in proving it to him.
XXXXXX
Hardison's book, for some inexplicable reason, became a bestseller – and he didn't let them forget it, constantly bringing it up and throwing around ideas for his second one (and occasionally lamenting about how the final version of the book didn't include his picture, on Nate's advice).
It didn't help that Sophie was constantly quoting passages from it and saying how remarkable it was that Hardison was so insightful about relationships. Parker actually thought Eliot might break up with her because of it, until he went and proposed instead. She was happy for them, but not quite as happy at the prospect of helping to plan a wedding.
Sophie also dragged them on far too many double dates to count, but after awhile Parker found that she didn't mind as much as she thought she would, because Nate was there with her, which was all that really mattered. For some reason, she could get through even the most interminable of evenings, if he was sitting next to her.
It scared her, sometimes, that it had taken getting married to find the person she truly loved. It was completely backwards, and she would be the first to admit that it didn't make any sense. She didn't know why it had worked out – because it shouldn't have. The odds were impossible. And deep down, she still thought she didn't really deserve this kind of happiness, or Nate. But he was slowly changing that (even if he didn't know it).
Though she may never be able to explain why, that didn't mean that she wasn't eternally grateful.
One day, she gave in to her own curiosity and picked up Hardison's book – it was better than she'd expected. To be sure, 97% of it was completely insane, but it was still interesting.
"What's that you're reading?" Hardison asked, as if he didn't recognize his own book cover.
"I'm not just reading," she said. "This is an experience."
"That's right," he said smugly, "I knew you'd give in – what's that you're doing?"
She held up a pink highlighter. "I'm highlighting all the statistics I'm sure you made up, people I think are fake, and otherwise crazy or impossible statements."
His smile disappeared as he took the book from her. "This whole page is pink," he flipped through a few more pages, "and the next ten!"
"Hmm, yeah, chapter 12 is not your finest hour."
"But, that's – how do you not appreciate –" he sputtered, then turned to Nate, impossibly thinking he might lend support. "Nate, would you learn to control your wife?"
"Would you learn to write better?" Nate shot back. Parker retrieved the book from Hardison, and grinned at Nate over the top of it, while he winked at her.
"I don't like this," Hardison announced, looking between the two of them. "This whole being on the same side thing."
"Yet you still come over all the time for no reason," Nate told him.
Hardison ignored him, pulling out a stack of notebooks and announcing he had work to do. Nate gave up and focused on his computer screen again. "Why am I looking through all these flower arrangements, Parker?"
"Because you love me?" she guessed.
"Oh right," he said. "Next time, tell Sophie 'no,' so that I don't get stuck doing all the things you're supposed to do."
About ten minutes later, the silence was broken as Parker gasped and threw the book in the air. "Oh my god," she said, stricken, as it fell to the floor at her feet.
Hardison watched her with concern and Nate looked alarmed. "Are you alright?"
"No, I am not alright," she said, her voice shaking slightly. "I just read a whole chapter without highlighting. Do you know what this means?"
Nate relaxed. "Don't scare me like that, Parker."
"I was entertained!" She said, still obviously distressed. "This is awful."
"I knew you were a fan," Hardison cheered.
"I'm re-reading that chapter," she swore, "and finding the flaws." She picked up the book from the floor and took a deep breath, steeling herself.
"Any quotes, Parker?" Hardison asked.
"Huh?" She looked up from where she'd been shaking the highlighter. It was almost out of ink and she'd only gotten it a few days ago.
"For my next book," he clarified.
"Um…follow your heart?" She suggested.
"That's so cheesy," he told her. "I love it! My readers will eat that up."
"You're only encouraging him," Nate told her.
In retaliation, she quickly grabbed one of Hardison's notebooks, ripped out a page, and threw it across the room at him. "I don't care. I'm content."
"That could have been important," Hardison complained, getting up to retrieve it, as Nate came to sit next to her.
"So am I," he said, as he kissed her.
"I'm not content," Hardison said, smoothing out the crumpled paper. "Hours of hard work completely disregarded like that." Nate and Parker weren't listening to him, though, as usual. "Just wait until book two," he muttered, "then you won't be dismissing me so easily."
"Hardison?" Nate said, waiting until the other man gave him his full attention. "Go find something else to do."
Hardison unhappily gathered his notebooks and stood. "Have you noticed you're much less hospitable since you've gotten married?"
"Bye Hardison," Parker said brightly. "Maybe you can go help Sophie pick out gifts for her wedding registry."
"Just you wait, book two!" He yelled before storming out, making sure to slam the door behind him.
"Where were we?" Nate asked.
"Book two?" She questioned, trying valiantly not to laugh. "Poor Hardison, he has no idea how I'm going to threaten him into showing us in a positive light."
"I knew there was a reason why I loved you," Nate said teasingly.
"Many reasons," she corrected.
"Yes, many," he agreed, thinking that if he merely told his wife the entire list of reasons why he loved her, she wouldn't believe it. Which meant he'd have to spend his life showing her. He didn't mind in the least.
As it turned out, Hardison's second book not only was greatly complimentary toward them, but also dedicated to them. And though he took full credit for the 'continuing success of their marriage,' Parker didn't care. She and Nate knew the truth, and they were happy, and that was all that mattered.
Though it certainly didn't hurt that for book three, Hardison decided Eliot and Sophie were a much more interesting topic.
XXXXXX
The end! This story was, from the beginning, my favorite of all that I've written. To those who stuck with it, I'm so very appreciative, and hope you enjoyed the ending.
As a final note to reviewers, I LOVE you more than you know. I say it all the time, but it's true enough to merit mentioning again and again. Thank you.