A (really) short little chapter for you lovely people while I try to get situated with being back in school.

Thanks to CallmeCrazylol, Blue-Black Flames, and SaRan1999 for reviewing, and to SilverNeira for being a cool person and choosing to follow the adventures of my dumb, reckless child! Welcome, friend!

It was the wind that woke me this time, rather than Karol's soft laughter. I blinked groggily in the afternoon sunlight streaming in through the open doors that led to an unnecessarily huge balcony. The entire room we'd been taken to was extravagant and ridiculously posh. Perks of being friends with the princess, I suppose.

I was still sore, muscles aching as I tried to sit up. Delta was asleep on my legs, hindering my progress and I kicked her off with a groan. She growled softly in response as she left the bed to pad toward the balcony. I blew a raspberry back at her.

My upper back cracked when I pushed my shoulder blades together, then stretched my arms above my head. I blew a stray strand of hair out of my face and tried to blink some of the sleep from my eyes. When my vision just blurred further, I fell back into the mountain of pillows in defeat.

I wondered, fleetingly, if anybody would notice if I just left right now. I could sneak out the door and start for Capua Torim, catch a ship back to the Ilyccian continent and make my way back home. I could be back in Halure within the week.

I wonder if anybody would care.

I bit back a yawn as I pushed myself back into a sitting position and glanced around. Karol was who knows where, the bed he'd slept in messy, sheet and pillow in a heap on the floor. Honestly, that boy had a tendency to disappear just as quickly as I did. Why was I the only one to get scolded?

Yuri was breathing lightly, still asleep on the bed to my left. His sword was clenched loosely in his left hand, and Repede was asleep on the floor at the foot of the bed.

I squinted, looking back at the doors to the balcony where Delta was sleeping in the afternoon sunlight. I don't think I had been asleep for very long, given how tired I still was, but I could also tell that it had been several hours since we'd been escorted here.

Why was Yuri still asleep?

I finally got my eyes to focus on the last of the beds in the room and sighed deeply when I saw Estelle in a chair, hunched over Rita's bed, both girls sound asleep. Of course she hadn't woken Yuri for his shift.

Estelle had insisted on a watch cycle to keep track of Rita's progress through the night – morning? Whatever – which was completely unnecessary. Rita would be fine, both the healers on staff in Heliord and Alexei's head blastia researcher said so.

The princess had also insisted on taking the first watch. Given how convincing she could get and how absolutely fucking exhausted I was, I didn't put up much of a fight. Yuri, bless his sarcastic little heart, offered to take over after a few hours. I'd waited for everyone to get settled before I passed out on one of the four beds.

'In hindsight, we should have seen this coming.'

"Well, yeah," I huffed as I struggled to disentangle my legs from the sheets. "It's Estelle."

I reached for the girl's shoulder to wake her gently, but paused when I got close. If I wanted to leave, now would be the best time. Everyone was asleep, and I wasn't technically responsible for watching Rita. Nobody would notice.

Something in my chest tightened. I couldn't leave Estelle like this. The disappointment I'd come to accept in Yuri's eyes had nothing on the betrayal that would be in Estelle's. For some reason, I don't think I could take that.

I shook the princess awake.

She'd only barely opened her eyes when the aer shifted and a First Aid was cast on the still sleeping mage. I took hold of her upper arms and lifted her from the chair she'd fallen asleep in with a scowl.

"What the hell, aren't you exhausted?" I studied her face as I pushed her onto my bed. She had dark circles under her eyes and a weary smile on her lips. "You're going to burn yourself out if you keep that up. Were you healing her all night?"

She held her head high, but meet my eyes or answer my question. I sighed. Even the aer around her looked tired. It moved sluggishly as it tried to escape her pull, and I noted absently that it wasn't her bodhi blastia that was drawing it in, but rather her body itself.

A low hum filled my mind and I wondered if the aer around me did something similar.

But what did that mean? Maybe Estelle and I were more alike than I thought.

'One problem at a time, child.'

I narrowed my eyes. It would seem that the voice and I needed to talk. I hadn't forgotten about Caer Bocram, but we hadn't had the time nor the privacy to discuss what the hell had happened to my body.

I rubbed my forehead and sighed. "Look, just do us a favor and sleep in a bed so nobody gets mad at you for staying up when we agreed we'd switch off."

It was pointless to argue with Estelle, and I honestly hoped that she would just drop it. I didn't have the energy to actually force her into the bed.

Of course, it wasn't that easy.

Estelle fussed over Rita as I took a seat in the chair at her bedside. I stared up at the design on the ceiling and resigned myself to counting the tiles as the girl did as she pleased.

"I envy Rita," came a sigh when I neared seventy.

I blinked at Estelle, then flicked over to Rita's still form. "You're allowed to sleep too, you know. In fact, you were supposed to wake Yuri up a while ago, weren't you?" I tried to guilt her in to shutting up and sliding into bed, but no dice.

The princess giggled behind a hand, but shook her head. "That's not what I meant, Isa. She threw herself into the aer to save that blastia, even though it could have really hurt her."

"You envy her reckless nature?" I wasn't following her line of logic.

"She has a goal. She has something that motivates her, and I envy that."

Oh. That made more sense. Estelle sighed, and smoothed down the mage's blanket again before looking longingly at the balcony. I followed her gaze and fought the urge to laugh.

"I'm pretty sure you have a goal too, Estelle." I did laugh at the look of surprise that flitted across her face. "You want to see the world, don't you? To learn as much about it as you can?"

Yuri had told everyone as much during one of the quieter traveling days. At the time, I'd scoffed at the naivety of the notion, but now I was glad that I'd paid attention.

She nodded, suddenly more sure of herself. "I don't want to inherit the Empire if I don't know anything of the people and places inside of it." One of her hands balled into a fist. "And I want to help people. I want to make them smile."

I leaned back as her confidence grew, arms crossed and content with my one good deed for the day.

"What about you, Isa?"

I almost fell out of the chair at the change in direction the conversation had taken. Why was everyone in this group so in to feelings jams?

"Hmm? What about me?" I hoped she'd catch my tone and drop the subject, but she turned, green eyes bright, and took one of my hands in hers.

"What are you traveling for?"

A sassy remark that would end the conversation died on my lips when I saw how innocent she looked. She was genuinely curious, and I didn't want to hurt her feelings.

So, I thought. Why was I traveling?

'May I suggest thinking out loud?'

"I don't know."

I also don't know who that response was for.

Estelle took it personally, and sat back a little, confused. "There has to be a reason you're still with us though, right?"

I shrugged. "I told Flynn I'd stay until we caught up to him, which we have. Twice. I told Yuri I'd stay until he caught his thief, but he's pissed off that I disappeared in Caer Bocram without permission, so who knows if he actually still wants me around." I pushed through the sinking feeling in my chest and vocalized what I had been thinking before I woke her. "I'll actually probably head back to Halure when you leave for the capitol."

She looked absolutely appalled. "But you can't just leave! There's still so much to do! You can't leave things half finished, you have to see them through until the end!"

I fought against the urge to scoff. "I get that you're upset about having to go back to Zaphias, but just because other people are telling you how to live your life doesn't give you the right to tell me how to live mine."

I'd officially offended her. Or I'd made her more aware of what she was doing. Either way, Estelle looked like she was about to cry. Maybe that has been a bit harsh.

'Maybe?' the voice asked incredulously. 'Harsh is putting it mildly, dear. Damage control. Now, please.'

"Estelle," I started, "I'm not... Look, I'm not like you. I'm not like Rita, I'm not like Yuri - I've been a wanderer for a long time. I don't, I don't have something or somebody I love to keep me motivated, to keep me on track." I had to look away, I couldn't take the moisture in her eyes. "Everyone I had is gone. I don't have any reason to do much of anything anymore."

I ended in a whisper, my head close to my knees and speaking to the ground.

"Oh," came a breathy sigh. "Oh, Isa. But I've seen you try to protect monsters, isn't that..?"

I cut her off with a soft chuckle. "That's not - Estelle that's just a moral code my father taught me when I was growing up. It's not..." Its not why I get up in the morning. It's not my reason. I don't have a reason.

"Your father was Anton Harroway, wasn't he." She wasn't asking, just stating facts, but I flinched before nodding. "Liam mentioned your last name when we were walking earlier. I've read about him. He was a hero during the Great War."

I nodded. Since when had my throat gotten so tight?

Estelle continued to prod gently. "The history books say he died to save thousands of lives, that -"

"Can we not talk about this?" I cut in suddenly. "You know what he did. I know what he did. He's a hero and he's dead, and he protected so many people but he left me." I choked on the last word, trying not to let the tears that had been building up spill down my cheeks.

"O-of course."

We fell into a comfortable silence as I tried to pull myself back together. I hadn't meant to vent for so long to the Imperial Princess, of all people, but the voice had told me to think out loud and I wasn't able to stop myself.

'Yes, but when I said think aloud and do damage control, I did not mean for you to spill your soul to the girl.' She was miffed, and I struggled to keep a straight face. Everything just seemed so funny, and I sighed, content, when I figured out why.

For the first time in a long time, I felt at ease.

How strange.

After a while longer, I was finally able to convince Estelle to switch places with me, though not before she shot off one last First Aid at the sleeping mage. As I pushed her into the bed, she beamed back up at me, almost as if she knew something I didn't.

"You know," she started softly, "he left a wonderful legacy for you."

I huffed. "He left shoes to fill and a reputation for making rash decisions in times of crisis."

"I think there's more to it than that."

"Go to sleep Estelle."

But she was insistent. "Protecting those who can't protect themselves? There are worse legacies to leave behind."

I didn't respond. Once she realized that I had nothing to say, Estelle shifted in the bed, rolling to get more comfortable as she settled down to sleep.

'She's right you know.'

I rolled my eyes at the voice. I knew she was right, but I wasn't about to admit that I was wrong. Not out loud.

'How rude.'

I waited until I could hear her breathing even out before I ran my hands across my face. Estelle and my father would have gotten along grandly. Both had a natural ability to see the best in people, and would do anything in their power to make someone happy. They even spoke the same.

"Now, my little rainbow, remember this: It is the duty of those who are strong to protect those who cannot protect themselves. It is how we give back and show love."

But the people I'm with are perfectly capable of taking care of themselves. Yuri was apparently a knight, and I'd seen him fight enough monsters to know that I'd rather stay on his good side. Rita knew her way around aer and magic to the point where I fear for the safety of the people who cross her, and when he put his mind to it, Karol could hold his own in a fight too. Even Estelle had enough training with her rapier and shield for her to take protection into her own hands.

Yeah, my father left me the best advice in telling me to protect people.

But these people didn't need me to protect them.

I pulled my hair from its braid, letting the now crimpy locks waterfall in front of my face, successfully hiding myself from the world. I massaged my scalp gently and sighed. There is no worse feeling than knowing that you aren't necessary, thank knowing that you are redundant.

'They don't need you to protect them.'

"I know that," I hissed back. I did my best to stay quiet for those who were still asleep, but almost lost my composure at hearing the words out loud. Out loud? In my head. Same thing. "I literally just thought the same thing, and don't you dare pretend that you don't know that, you live in my head and I know you know what I'm thinking."

She carried on like I hadn't spoken. 'But do you want to protect them?'

I rubbed at my eyes, hard. I didn't know what I wanted.

I don't remember the last time I did something important that I actually wanted to do, not just what other people needed me to do. I was needed around Halure, both for the protection I was able to offer and for the products of my green thumb bringing in traders from far off towns and helping increase trade.

I scoffed lightly. I didn't know how to not be needed.

A particularly strong gust of wind came through the open balcony door, whipping at the curtains. Someone shifted in their bed.

I flipped my head back and pulled my hair up in to a loose bun, too tired to braid it back like usual. It was time to stop thinking about what others needed and didn't need, but to think about what I wanted.

But what was it that I wanted?

'Do you want to protect them?'

"I do," I whispered to the wind.

They could protect themselves, that much had become clear in the past few weeks. But I still wanted to be around them. I still wanted to help them, and if that meant being redundant, so be it. I would make sure that they were safe.

I watched Rita's chest rise, then fall, rise, then fall again. It was reassuring. Calming. I turned to Estelle, who was smiling, even in her sleep. Yuri's back was to me, Repede asleep dutifully at the foot of his bed.

I let myself smile a real, genuine smile.

I would protect them. I may not have a goal as noble or as interesting as theirs, but the least I could do was keep them safe until they achieved them.

That would have to be enough.

Isadora's heart might just be melting.

-Han