A/n So this was going to be the last chapter, but it kind of turned into it. I think this is a nice place to leave them and finish this little fic of mine. It was a little different for me, and hopefully the next fic I write will be a little cheerier, but I hope that you've all enjoyed it none-the-less, and if you could spare a second to write a little review in the handy box provided below, please do. I would love to hear what you think of this one, because as I've said, it was a little different for me! A

Anyway. Thank you to all those who read, favourited, followed and reviewed! It's been said before and it'll be said again, but it's so so appreciated!

MBRB'xoxo

That evening, Alex and Gene both lay in bed with their backs to eachother in a bitter silence that was engulfing them both and pulling them into an awkwardness that they had never experienced with eachother, even after their most heated of arguments. Alex felt a small tingle of an itch on the side of her stomach but resisted the urge to scratch it so as not to draw attention to herself. She wanted Gene to think that she was asleep and that he was imagining the dreadful feel of the room and she knew he was trying to do the same, but their falsley slow breathing and complete rigidness made it clear that they were both playing at being asleep and that in reality, they were both lying with their minds racing a mile a minute trying to avoid making even the slightest movement. Time seemed to stretch on forever as they lay together, eyes wide open listening to the occasional car passing by and the sound of the house settling for the night until Gene couldn't stand the nothingness any more. He turned ever so slightly and glanced in the direction of Alex's side of the bed.

'You awake, Bolls?' he asked in almost a whisper which sounded deafening compared to the previous lack of noise. After waiting for a reply and receiving none, Gene settled back into his pillow and let out a tiny sigh. 'Me neither.'

x-x-x-x-x

The ride to work the next day had been equally as horrific, with them both climbing in after pottering around the house with only the minimum amount of communication required. The odd 'could you pass the milk' or 'Ready?' being passed between them, but there was none of the usual banter and teasing jibes that they had both grown accustomed to. The first thing Alex had done after entering CID the morning after their argument was to ask if there had been any updates on the Hunter case and, after being told that there hadn't been, she had slammed her way over to her desk, thrown her coat across the back of her chair and collapsed into it with a sigh. She just knew that there was more to this case than was meeting the eye and she was determined to find out what it was, but it had caused such a strain on her relationship with Gene after just a single day and the thought was crossing her mind that perhaps it really wasn't worth it. After another week and a half of trying to gain information from the girlfriend, Samantha, and her new boyfriend Christian, she had begrudgingly admitted to herself that perhaps it was a suicide and she was over-complicating things. As they had walked through the doors of CID that Thursday and she did not immediately asked for any new information, Gene had shot her a surprised look and stood above her desk as she settled herself down for the day.

'No demand for news today, Bolls?' he had asked, his eyebrows raised.

'Not today, Guv' she replied, not meeting his eyes and keeping her gaze firmly fixed on the pen that she had picked up, trying to let off a calm and professional vibe but knowing that she wasn't really succeeding. She could feel the smugness oozing off him and her teeth were clenching with the thought of his victorious bloody face.

'Ahh, what a surprise, DI Drake' he said with mock shock. 'And here was me thinking that you'd keep up your damn enquiries for at least another week yet. Oh well, looks like you're willing to admit defeat quicker than expected' she heard him move away from her desk and the mumbled of laughter that shot around CID made her blood boil as she sensed all eyes on her.

'Bastard'

'I heard that, Drake. Learn a little respect please' the slam of his office door made her flinch ever so slightly as her jaw clenched. Flaming jackass. Ever since their argument, there had been an icy air between them that just wouldn't seem to thaw. They had worked well together on the Moore case and the other minor cases that had cropped up, but as soon as they got home, dinner would be eaten in near silence and the TV turned on to drown out the screaming noise of bitterness. Alex tended to go up to bed earlier than Gene, leaving him to drown himself in scotch as she tried to fall asleep before he came up to bed so she wouldn't have to face their new nightly routine of trying not to let their skin touch. She never managed it and was always awake when he slipped into bed next to her and rolled to face the wall. The previous Monday, Gene had grabbed her hand as she had leant down and kissed his cheek goodnight in an attempt to fool them both into thinking the cracks in their relationship weren't as cavernous as they both knew they were. His cool fingers had wrapped themselves around hers and their eyes had met. He had hoped that she would see the needy spark that he felt for her deep down, but instead she just saw blank indifference which filled her with sadness - weren't the eyes the windows to the soul after all? - and so she had ever so softly squeezed his hand in response and then turned, pulling away from him as she walked. That evening, she had stopped as she reached the doorway and turned to look at him sat on his own on the sofa and she gave him a small smile that was laced with sadness.

'Night Gene'

'Night Alex'

Everyone in the office knew that there was something wrong between them; it had been impossible to ignore. They no longer laughed together as they walked through the corridors of Fenchurch East, he barely ever called her into his office (and if it did, she never lingered), the call of 'Drake' as Gene made his way to the Quattro to pick someone up was now a command and not an invitation...it all made for a very different Fenchurch CID. Any outsider probably wouldn't have known a difference. Here was a CID that got results and respected the hierarchy of power, but anyone who had been witness to the close relationship that Bolly and Hunt had once had would have easily have noticed the difference and although not many of them liked Alex, they all hoped that they would make up soon as to ease the tension that was flying around.

x-x-x-x-x

The next morning was equally as frosty as Gene and Alex walked through the double doors once again. They were looking to a relatively easy day, hoping that nothing major would ring through meaning they would be left with only a couple of minor cases. Alex, however, was startled to see a shabby looking blonde sitting in her seat as she made her way over to her desk.

'Taking in the dregs of society now, Bolly?' Gene asked snidely as he passed her and entered his office.

'Ignore him. What can I do for you, Samantha?' she asked, turning to the teen who was sat with her head in her hands. As she turned to look up at Alex, it was clear that she'd spent the last couple of hours at the very least hysterically crying her eyes out. Red, puffy rings circled her eyes and her hands were visibly shaking as she tried in vain to wipe her face clean.

'He... he t-told me that I couldn't speak to... to you, b-but I need to... talk. You have to h-help me' she gasped through sobs that wracked her body. Alex was alarmed at the desperation written all over the young girls face and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, beginning to guide her towards the doors and to the privacy of an interview room.

'Where do you think you're going, Drake?' she turned to see Gene stood in the doorway of his office, his hands tucked into his pockets and his lips in a pissed-off pout.

'Looks like the Hunter case had reopened, Guv' she replied, her eyes communicating the smug feeling that was filling her up, despite the fact her heart was ripping apart for the poor girl clinging to her.

'Fan-bloody-tastic' Gene snapped, retreating to his office and pouring a large glass and downing it in one.

x-x-x-x

'Take your time, Sam' Alex told her softly, perching on the edge of the desk in Interview room 2. She had spent a while calming the girl down so that she could form coherent sentences and had allowed her to tidy herself up a little but she was now dying to know what the hell was going on. She hadn't seemed the most together of people when she had spoken to her before, but she hadn't been the wreck that was sat before her now.

'He's going to kill me for being here' her voice was a broken croak and Alex put a finger under her chin and lifted her head so she could see her eyes before she replied.

'Who is, Sam? Christian?' Christian Jones was the boyfriend that Samantha had been with since Matthew died and Alex was convinced that he knew more than he was letting on. He had seemed like a thugish brute when she had interviewed him and she had told Samantha that she should seriously consider getting as far away from him as she could, but it seemed that her words of advice had fallen on deaf ears. Samantha's nod confirmed that it was Christian she now feared. Alex took a deep breath. 'Okay, lets start from the beginning, shall we?'

'It was me, not Matthew. I'm the one that's addicted. He never touched the stuff' Samantha whispered with her head lowered once more, staring intently at the floor of the interview room. 'We've known eachother since we were little and he was always crazy about me, but I love Christian. Matthew was always so nice to me that I let him think we could be something more because I didn't want to be horrible by telling him he was wasting his time, but it was always Christian for me' she paused and met Alex's eyes. Alex nodded, encouraging her to continue. With a deep breath, Samantha began speaking again 'Christian was always trying out whatever he found when we went out - and I mean anything. I never used to like him doing drugs, but eventually he convinced me to try it and he got me hooked. But I can't afford it and he doesn't want to 'waste his money' on me, so he convinced me to hook up with Matthew and get him to buy it for us. Matthew was always working so he had the money and he'd do anything for me' her eyes saddened at the thought of Matthew and she shifted in her seat, crossing one arm across her stomach and rubbing her bicep awkwardly.

'So you were with Christian, but Matthew didn't know?' Samantha nodded. 'And he was buying you - what? Cocaine?' she nodded again. 'Alright, carry on' Alex told her, roughly scribbling down notes on a pad of paper she had leant against her knee.

'Matt showered me with presents and brought me anything I wanted, and I didn't even think about it at the time. I knew that he was getting into debt by spending all his money on me, but it didn't seem real, if you know what I mean? It didn't seem like the money he was spending was real and even when he'd say he didn't have any money, he'd still manage to buy me a couple grams so I guess I assumed he was exaggerating? I don't know' her eyes filled with tears as she carried on 'He left me a note a couple of weeks ago telling me to meet him at the Royal Standard hotel - the one he was found at? - at 7pm that Wednesday, but Chris had got wind that he was going to propose to me and went crazy. He told me not to go and he would instead. He said that 'he'd sort the little fucker out' and I thought he was just going to rough him up a bit' guilt was written all over her face and Alex felt all trace of pity leave her as she listened to what the girl was saying.

'You knew Christian was going to meet Matthew ? But you said Christian knew you were in a relationship with Matthew too?' Samantha nodded once more.

'I told you, it was his idea. But he was still jealous. He'd let me see him because he wanted the coke as much as I did, but he didn't like me seeing him and when he thought he was going to propose to me, he went mental. Chris's always hated Matt'

'So you just let him go and meet Matthew knowing he'd beat him up at the very least?' the tears finally spilled down Samanthas cheeks as Alex spoke and she swiped them away furiously.

'I didn't think he'd kill him!'

'But he did?' Alex prompted, sensing her definitive answer was close.

'Yes' it was a whisper, but it was there.

'Why're you telling me this now, Sam? I interviewed you multiple times over the last weeks and you've been adamant that Christian was innocent in all this. Samantha sobbed quietly and tried to regain control of her emotions.

'I told him I missed Matthew. I didn't love him, but I've known him all my life and he didn't deserve to die. He was a good guy, Alex. It's partly my fault he's dead. I practically killed him' she was crying again now, fat tears cascading down her cheeks and Alex found herself unable to comfort her and tell her everything was okay and it wasn't her fault.

'I'm going to go speak to my DCI and I'll be back in a minute, Sam, okay?' she waited for the nod of understanding and then left the room with her heels clattering along the corridors.

x-x-x-x-x

'I was right' she told him triumphantly, leaning on his desk as she had done so many times in the past, her hands spread wide and her weight shifted forward. Gene looked up from the paper he had in his hands, an unimpressed look across his face.

'And what would that be about, Drakey?'

'Matthew Hunter was killed. He didn't commit suicide, Guv. His girlfriends making a full confession in Room 2' Gene studied her face, taking in the small smile playing at her lips and the glimmer in her eye that hadn't been there for the last couple of weeks.

'She admitted that she killed him?' he asked her flatly, ignoring the hint of pride that he felt for her at knowing the case wasn't as simple as it seemed.

'No, she told me her boyfriend did it'

'Her boyfriend? You mean the dead one? That would be a suicide, Bollinger' Gene explained slowly, rolling his eyes. Alex, however, pushed herself from his desk and crossed her arms with exhasperation.

'No, her other boyfriend. The one I told you about numerous times before. Christian. Do you never listen to me?' Gene dropped his feet from where they had been propped up on his desk and sat up at his desk.

'I try my best not to. So well done, Bolly. Detective of the year goes to DI Drake for spotting a crime. Drinks on you' he gave her a smug smile that churned her stomach and she shook her head with annoyance, turning on her heels with an incomplete 'Oh, you know what, Gene...' and walked out his office without looking back. Gene had known it would wind her up but he really had had enough of hearing about this bloody case and had been thrilled when she had finally decided to drop it. The last thing he needed was it to be dragged up again and for her to be proved right after all. She was a bloody good detective and her instinct had told her that something was wrong when she had walked into that crime scene. He had always told her to listen to her gut and she had. And she had been right. Fan-flamin-tastic.

x-x-x-x-x

That evening, Alex cooked them both a simple salad and jacket potatoe dish, ignoring Gene's rolled eyes and mumbles about rabbit food being on his plate. As they ate, he had placed his knife and fork down and steepled his fingers as he looked at her intently. His firm gaze made her look up and pause eating as she asked him what it was he was looking at.

'Just you, Bolls. I didn't say it earlier, but... well done' She hadn't been expecting it, and the small gap of silence that she left told him that.

'For what?' she asked him.

'For knowing that there was something off. Used your instinct, didn't you. And you were right. A kids Mum is going to know what happened to her boy and why he was taken from her and that's because of you. I'm proud of you' Alex's eyebrows raised in surprise as she took in what he had said and she opened and closed her mouth a little twice before giving him a soft smile and looking down at her dinner plate, prodding a lettace leaf with her fork a little.

'Thank you' she whispered before spearing the leaf and continuing to eat.

x-x-x-x-x

That evening, as Gene slipped into bed an hour and a half after Alex had gone up, he felt the uneasiness that had filled the room fall over them once more. He was sick of it. A week and a half and they had barely strung 10 words together, let alone had a conversation. He had found the nights the worst and it was pissing him right off that he couldn't pin point the exact feeling that was in the pit of his stomach as he pulled the duvet over him each night. Annoyance? Not really. Sadness? Well there was an element of that, certainly, but not completely. Loneliness? They'd gone from being inseperable to never touching so yes, he was lonely, but no, that wasn't it either. He just couldn't work it out. As he rolled to face away from Alex, he heard her sigh softly and then let out a very tiny cough. God, he hated this. Living together but acting like strangers. It was this thought that urged Gene to roll to face her, ignore her stiffening slightly and reach over to move her hair away from her neck. Her skin seemed so icy under his and it struck him that he didn't remember having ever thought that she seemed so cold before. She had always seemed so warm to him, her skin oozing heat and … Alex'ness. As he leant forward and pressed his lips to her neck gently, he could feel her shift ever so slightly and her shoulder move up, blocking his access a little. Gene ignored her actions and continued pressing gentle kisses to her smooth skin, but stopped when she turned to face him more. She gave him a small awkward smile and reached for the hand that had snaked around her waist, holding it and moving it back to his side of the bed, carefully placing it by his side. She leant forward and kissed his lips ever so lightly and then returned to her place in bed, looking at him with sad eyes.

'Not tonight, hey' she whispered, her words seeming louder in the quiet of their bedroom. Gene nodded, but the feeling that had alluded him suddenly came crashing down upon his ears. Regret. Regret for a thousand things. He regretted the way that their relationship had broken down so quickly, turning from idilic to catastrophic in a matter of hours and here they were in the same bed yet galaxies apart. How a few choice decisions on both their parts had brought them to their knees when they had been through so much to be together in the first place. He regretted the ridiculous amount of times that he had hurt her - before and after they were together and he regretted, most of all, that he had allowed the uncomfortable knowledge that they were beyond repair settle firmly in his stomach. And what did she regret? She regretted that the same feeling had settled in hers. After she had stepped out of the Railway Arms and away from Nelson, she had assumed that things would be easier. They both knew how they felt about the other and they knew what it was to have that chance ripped from them. They had been given a second chance and she had nievely thought that it would now be a dreamy ride of kisses and hearts and Dali clocks. She didn't know that their time was, in fact, still running out and that being together would be just as much work as being apart wasl. As they both lay their on their backs staring into the darkness at the ceiling they could barely see, the silence shifted from one that was uncomfortable, to one that was sad and definitive.

'Why don't you tell me you love me anymore, Gene?' she whispered into the night. Gene took a while to think about her question. He thought of the first time he'd said it, the times he'd said it since and then he struggled to remember the last time he'd said the words 'I love you' to her. He couldn't pin point the exact time, but he knew it had been a while.

'I do' was all he told her, trying to sidestep the question. It may have worked on another woman, but Alex Drake had had enough experience with people avoiding the subject to know when someone was trying to leave a question unanswered.

'You do say it, or you do love me?' he could feel her eyes gazing at him as she turned her head to face him, but pointedly kept his eyes on the ceiling and left the silence to answer her questions. A couple of seconds later, Alex let out a small sigh and turned her head once more to look into the darkness as well. She felt surprisingly numb, cold inside instead of the heat and pain she knew she should be feeling and as she acknowledged the numbness, she found herself surprisingly indifferent to that too.

'Why don't you say it, Gene?' she repeated, a hint of sadness creeping into her voice.

Silence again. Silence that should be painful and full of mourning and sorrow but was, in fact, just... silence. Deathly quiet that lay heavy in the air as Gene thought about what she had said and the words that formed in his mind. He thought of the woman who was lying beside him staring at the same ceiling he was in the same bad that he was, their rigid body language mirroring each other in one last act of unity and he contemplated if he should say the words that had sprung into his mind. And then he decided that it was no good lying to her any more. It wasn't worth trying to hide the truth from her and it was no good trying to hold back the agony.

'I don't know if I do, Bolls.' His words spilled from his mouth and mingled with the thick quiet that filled the air, playing about both their ears and seeping through the cracks in their barely-held-together relationship. He didn't think that she was going to say anything, her pause was so long, but eventually the softest of whispers came from her and he knew that there was absolutely no going back. No more second chances or superglue that could mend them.

'Me neither'

Together, they lay in the double bed that had felt so lonely to him a of couple months ago. He had spent many a night thinking of her as he drifted off to sleep and then she had done what he never thought possible and come back to him; come to his bed and banished the loneliness that had inhabited it for so long. They had been happy here, letting hours pass by them wrapped in eachother arms as they slept and now here they were once again. They didn't know it, but the same bitter thoughts were racing through their minds that they were both hastily trying to force back and not accept; regret that she had come back. After all, if they had parted when they were supposed to have, wouldn't they have had their precious memories of eachother as they were - feisty, stubborn and thoroughly infuriating yet wanted? Needed? They would have been able to hold onto their arguments and look at them through the rose-tinted glasses that time always seems to provide and they wouldn't have felt the bitter twist of having too much of a good thing. . Perhaps if she had waited for him in the Railway Arms, keeping his drink ice cold for him and sipping on the glass of red Nelson had provided, when his time came he would have walked through the doors to a wave of cheers and headed straight to her, engulfing her in a bone-crushing hug that he had saved for her for so long. She would have handed him his drink and clinked their glasses together in a toast to the Guv and, when the welcomes and the hello's had been showered on him by the people who loved him, they would have crept off to the saloon bar he had promised her and share a soft kiss that had been long overdue. And would they not have been happy? Did Heaven have room for bitterness and tensions? They didn't know, and they never would. But there was a lesson they had both learnt the hardest of ways; you cannot play with fate.

"If, of all words of tongue and pen,

The saddest are, "It might have been,"

More sad are these we daily see:

"It is, but hadn't ought to be."