A/N: Absolutely no words can express how sorry I am for the delayed update, even I cannot believe it but the honest truth is I lost my mojo. I just wasn't motivated to write. But getting through this chapter bit by bit has helped, and all the inspiration out there has lit that fire again. Thank you to all the reviews, follows, and love for the story. I sincerely hope the next chapter won't be this late. I would like to thank my fellow Richonner and friend, Audrey, for reading through this chapter and editing any glaring errors. I also want to clarify a concern that some of you had about the previous chapter in regards to M, if she was sexually assaulted and the answer is no.

Enjoy

Chapter 10: Need

She had been angry and miserable since the disastrous talk with Rick and it wasn't all that hard to pinpoint the reason behind her dismal mood. The ultimatum had been a difficult pill to swallow since it meant being an outsider again and losing those friendships she initially fought against forming. The look of betrayal on his face had stayed with her in her dreams that night making for a sleepless night. Getting into it with Merle had been cathartic on more than one level - other than exacting revenge - for a few moments she forgot that she was alone, again.

Now, coming down from the rush and tension of the fight, she felt a headache blossoming across her forehead, a dull throb that seemed to worsen with each passing moment. They had all gathered in the part of the infirmary where the beds and medical equipment were stationed. Michonne chose to sit near the entrance, she focused on her hands that were smudged with blood and dirt. Feeling the bed dip on either side of her, she looked up curiously and felt relief when it turned out to be Carl and Maggie. The sound of the door closing alerted her to the impending interrogation.

"You knew Andrea?"

Without looking around, she was acutely aware that they were all staring at her. She heaved a sigh and was soon reminded of the bruises she had sustained during the fight. Making eye contact with Maggie she nodded her head in response to her question

"Yep, she did," Merle jumped in. She could tell from the glee in his voice that he was enjoying the myriad looks of disbelief and shock around him.

"But how is that even possible?" Carl wondered from her left.

Merle bared his teeth unpleasantly as he leaned forwards. "My Nubian queen here," he spat, "and Blondie spent all winter last year cuddling up in the forest. They had two pet walkers with them - no arms, cut off the jaws, kept them in chains. Kinda disturbing ain't it?"

Unwilling to sit through his snide commentary, Michonne stood up suddenly and finally looked to Rick who sat two beds away from her. He turned his head in her direction, his hair looked even worse plastered to his forehead. A small part of her found it a little appealing especially with the small beard that couldn't decide if it wanted to be neat or scruffy. As soon as the errant thoughts slipped into her mind, she chastised herself, the separation made her realize how much their friendship had changed, at least on her part. That attraction she had valiantly tried to ignore then acknowledged in hopes of it dissipating had grown without her say so. It wasn't only the physical that appealed to her, even though he was frighteningly stubborn, dangerous, arrogant and rude; he was also protective with his family, caring, gentle, hardworking and resourceful.

Blushing, she worked to hide her inner thoughts from showing on her face as she stared at Rick, she could hear Merle still talking in the background and her thoughts became much more hostile.

"I've done what you asked but I don't want to be anywhere near him right now." She turned to Carl, Maggie and Sasha, giving them meaningful looks before she picked her way out of the room and out the door, ignoring the protests and demands behind her.

It might have been childish for all her thirty-five years of age to react this way to his presence but after everything she had been through, she was entitled to not willingly subjecting herself to bullshit.

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Carl had just left, she watched him for a moment as he ran across the street, jumping over puddles as he made his way home. The world felt right again and the soft laughter that drifted from the living room cemented that and drew her focus. Closing the door softly she thought that it was almost hard to believe the bleakness of the past few days in contrast to the relief and warmth she felt when she opened the door to see her visitors.

"I'm surprised to hear you guys laughing considering..." Michonne raised an eyebrow at the two women sitting on the carpeted floor, their bodies resting against the sturdy table and almost empty mugs of coffee before them. "Or did you guys slip something into your drinks?" Lowering herself gingerly to the floor, she took a sit next to Maggie and her eyebrows flew into her hairline at Sasha when the former giggled.

Sasha grinned mischievously and took a whiff of Maggie's mug. "Yeah, must be the caffeine hit considering it's been a while. Daryl came through-"

The warm atmosphere that had bathed them in its glow since they had shown up at her door about an hour ago somewhat dissipated. Michonne curled her hands around her mug but didn't bring it to her lips. She chewed on her lip nervously as she watched them.

"I'm sorry for lying to you guys," she apologized softly.

"I don't see it that way, Michonne," Maggie countered, drawing her knees up to her chest, "there was nothing malicious about what you did, you were protecting yourself and I cannot find fault in that. I found out later about what happened in the courtyard with Pete and Reg. I don't blame you for wanting nothing to do with us".

Pleasantly surprised by the intuitive deduction of her actions, Michonne couldn't help but point out wryly, "That's not how Rick saw it".

Sasha gave her a pitying look as if to say; did you expect any different?

"It makes so much sense now that I think about it. Why you wanted to leave the following day I mean," Maggie continued contemplatively. "And finding us so unexpectedly must have been a bit unnerving?"

Sasha threw her head back and laughed. When she saw the looks Michonne and Maggie were giving her, she tried to temper the flow of giggles. "Unnerving for Michonne or Rick?" she asked.

Maggie's lips twitched. "Yeah but he's really mellowed out now, hasn't he?"

"Significantly so," Sasha agreed thoughtfully, leaning against the table facing them both, "although, I wasn't too happy about his ultimatum." Sasha looked at Michonne, frowning. "That wasn't his call to make; in fact, you should have come to us and told us what a nasty piece of work Daryl's brother is, instead of leaving us in the dark wondering why you were icing us out".

Michonne swallowed some of her still warm coffee, thinking about how emotional they'd both been that night. "I didn't think," she said, tapping two fingers above her right eyebrow. "I understand why he reacted that way, he was so angry and... hurt," she revealed honestly. "I think I let him lay down the law because I was afraid he would grab me and toss me out of the gates that same night." She stared unseeingly at the table. "Right at the beginning it made so much sense to leave. I tried and then after, I tried distancing myself but that didn't work either. I had become curious. Rick and I started getting along too, shockingly so. I knew it would be worse if Merle got to him first".

There was a murmur of agreement from her friends and no one immediately ventured to fill the silence when she stopped talking. Michonne was absorbed in her own thoughts, her mind drifted treacherously to the leader of their community. The way Rick had talked to her that afternoon made it seem like he had got past his anger or it could have been him trying to prevent her murdering his best friend's brother.

What she needed? That's what he'd said leaving her feeling a little displaced and confused. Indeed, what did he know about her needs? And why had that worked, why had she listened to him? She had been ready to end it there and then, damn the consequences. The questions swirled around in her mind and she almost missed the fact that Sasha was talking to her.

"How do you feel?" Sasha asked again, resting her head on the arm that was resting on the table.

With a sigh, Michonne shrugged. "I've been living in this constant state of uncertainty since I came here, you know?" Maggie and Sasha nodded gravely, silent as they waited for her to continue. "Do I stay or do I go? Should I tell you this secret that kept me closed off? Does it even matter anymore? The questions were endless." She stared into the dark contents of the cup, a finger played along the rim. Living like that had been draining, having to watch what she said in case she gave herself away.

"And now," Maggie prodded gently, resting her head against her folded legs as she watched Michonne closely.

"I don't miss what was before, that wasn't living. In a way, I'm glad that Rick stopped me; things would have turned out a whole lot different, me dead with an arrow in my chest." She swallowed the painful lump in her throat, her thoughts not only going to Andrea, but also to the memory of her precious Peanut. "I feel like I can start again, properly this time," she confessed shakily, her voice full of repressed emotions.

In unison, Maggie uncurled and shifted closer giving Michonne a one-armed hug, her cheeks flushed and her eyes bright. Sasha shuffled forward and leaned across the table to clasp Michone's hand tightly, her eyes suspiciously wet. After a moment of silence, the huddle broke apart and they all laughed.

"Look at us, all weepy and shit," Sasha complained good-naturedly, surreptitiously wiping at her cheeks, "what we need is chocolate or ice-cream and some good music".

Feeling lighter than she had in months or a year since Woodbury, Michonne rose to her feet, a little grin playing on her lips. "No ice-cream but I may have a little something-something. As for the second request, I'm still doing inventory of this house, come and check out the attic with me, maybe we can find something".

Although she had not expected any of them to show up at her doorstep with torches and pitchforks for what had transpired yesterday, it was just overwhelming how much nothing had changed. They still talked and engaged with her as they had before. Abraham had crept up on her that morning as she left her house to start the day, bumping shoulders with her to get her attention and walking with her to the wall.

"Don't feel too bad, Samurai Queen, Eugene takes the cake for the Washington thing. Besides, I like a little mystery".

She had no clue what the 'Washington thing', was referring to and he didn't give her a chance to ask before leaving, heading towards the armory whistling brightly as if in competition with the warm weather that had graced them that morning. Belatedly, she couldn't help but feel a little uncomfortable and exposed. By now, everyone in Rick's family knew of her unpleasant history with Merle. The most shocking of all encounters was Carol, though she had been somewhat smug when they had crossed paths, stopping briefly to talk but never making a reference to the big reveal. Michonne didn't know what to make of it; she figured eventually there would be some sort of confrontation. The only people she had not seen yet were Rick, Daryl and Merle - and that probably was a good thing really.

When lunch time rolled around, she had just finished her final class of the day so she placed all the blades back into a shopping trolley and made her way towards the armory. She was surprised to see Eric sitting in the designated office area having expected Olivia to still be there. Thinking nothing of it, she returned his friendly greeting as she signed the weapons back in. When he stood up to store them, she stared at him with a raised eyebrow.

"Is it just you here?" she said, casually.

Eric grabbed thick gloves lying on the table and approached the trolley. "I started my shift a little bit earlier. Tara will be back in a few minutes so don't tell Rick that we left the place, one man, short," he pleaded with his body visibly shuddering. "Olivia was sniffling and coughing all over the place, the poor thing didn't look good. It appears she got caught up in the rain yesterday…"

The searching tone in his voice gave Michonne pause and she slowly lowered the pen back on to the log book. Straightening, she fixed him with a look that dared him to continue in that vein.

An awkward silence settled between them, he smiled kindly and bid her a good day as he pushed the trolley out of the room. Michonne stood alone in the office for a moment feeling bad for being rude when he had always been nice to her. Maybe she was being too sensitive, at her core really, she was a private person. Her only consolation was that outside of Rick's family, no one really knew the details of yesterday's drama. In a community like this, things did have a way of coming out, though if any of the finer details were to spread, she knew who the culprit would be. Feeling her mood turn sour she stormed out of the building and made her way home barely noticing people stepping out of the way as she went.

She was so consumed with her thoughts that she almost jumped when a hand landed on her shoulder as she went to turn the door handle. Working on instinct, she grabbed the arm with both hands and whirled around to face her assailant, twisting the offending limb at the elbow as she went. When she spied who her assailant was, she loosened her grip immediately but found herself pressed against the door seconds later with her back to the wood. Rick towered over her slightly and the look in his eyes pinned her in place more than the fingers that pressed her hands firmly on to the flat wooden surface.

For all the space that was between them, they might as well have been touching because he filled her senses with his body, his hands, his heat, his natural scent. With nowhere else to look, her gaze flickered here and there, however, she didn't miss the downward dip of his eyes. The action stunned her so much she urged herself to push him away. She pushed against his hold and he took a step back. A tense silence settled over them for what felt like an eternity, her mind searched for something to say but words escaped her.

"Can I come in?" he asked, looking past her shoulder.

"What do you want?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest defensively. She could not show her annoyance - illogical as it was - that she had been affected by their little scuffle. Judging from Rick's cool stance, one hand at his waist the other resting over his Colt, it seemed she was the only one.

"Is this before or after you assaulted me?" he countered, in a deadpan voice.

She looked down, willing her lips to not betray her as they curled up at the corners. "Before"

Michonne hesitated, the last time that Rick had been in her house; things hadn't turned out so well. Now that she thought about it, they had never had a pleasant conversation in her home.

As if he could hear her thoughts, he rubbed the back of his neck and peered at her. "I shouldn't have done that. I just wanna talk, I won't take up too much of your time," he coaxed.

Sensing that this conversation was inevitable whether she agreed to have it now or push for later, she walked into the house leaving the door wide open. He followed behind her, she briefly considered stopping in the living room but looking at their track record it felt like a bad omen for them to talk in there so she made her way to the kitchen. Heading over to the fridge, she grabbed two large bowels of left over rice and beef stew from the day before and deposited them on the counter. The sound of a kitchen stool being moved on the tiled floor behind her wasn't enough to make her lose focus but she did look at him when she grabbed a plate from the cupboard.

"Have you eaten?" she asked, breezily.

"Not yet but I'm good," he declined her offer. "I was actually heading home to eat with Carl and Judy when I saw you".

She dished out her food and heated it up.

"You seem better," Rick began conversationally as she sat down across from him on the other side of the table. "Physically," he amended.

Michonne made a sound of agreement and started eating, focusing on her plate, waiting for the real conversation to begin. Her eyes darted up to him curiously when she heard him heave a sigh.

"I wanted to talk to you about Merle" his eyes were focused on his wedding ring which he was slowly twisting around and around. "As much as I want to kick him out right now, I can't. He's Daryl's brother. I had to make a decision." He looked up finally meeting her eyes.

Michonne glowered at him, gripping her fork tightly, knowing instinctively that she wasn't going to like whatever he had to say.

"I've put him on house arrest," he soldiered on, his face grim. "He will be staying with Daryl; he cannot leave the confines of the house without his brother. He knows to stay out of your way." He broke away from her stare, reaching up to run a hand through his curls. "But you have to give me your word you won't go after him" he finished cautiously, looking at her.

"Give you...give you my word?" Michonne laughed humourlessly, throwing the cutlery on to the plate and pushing away from the table to stand up. She pointed in the general direction of the exit. "Get. Out."

"Hey," Rick cried, also jumping to his feet. "I'm on your side!" he said, his finger stabbing the tabletop, his face red as a vein made an appearance on his forehead.

"You are on my side?" Michonne echoed, indignant. "Is that why you stopped me from killing him?"

Rick marched around the barrier that separated them and stood at arm's length away from her. "I did that for you and Daryl, not for Merle," he growled, his eyes boring into her almost daring her to deny the validity of his words.

All of the anger that had consumed her at his request went right out of her, had she not said the same thing to Maggie and Sasha last night? Sighing, she sank back into her chair and almost didn't notice him taking a sit next to her. Fishing her fork out from the middle of the plate where she had thrown it haphazardly, she flicked the bits of rice stuck on the stainless steel. Sensing his watchful gaze, she looked up.

"It didn't take us long to break the terms of our truce, did it?" he said dryly.

Michonne flinched, recalling how that moment had been a turning point in their relationship. "You mean because I lied to you," she retorted bitterly, looking away from him.

Rick sat back in his chair, absentmindedly twisting the golden band around his middle finger again. "Probably. I keep on thinking that you should have said something but I guess you had your reasons. Have you noticed that for the most part, we are always fighting?"

"Maybe that's just us…," she ventured, her eyes drawn momentarily to a significant piece of jewellery she sometimes forgot he still wore.

He frowned and Michonne got the distinct sense that he was disappointed and what he said next confirmed just as much.

"I don't agree," he shrugged. "At some point in time we are going to be friends", he said self-assuredly.

Whether it was his prediction or his cockiness that did it, she felt the tension and stress she had been under seep out of her as she burst out laughing. She tried to contain herself but mirth bubbled forth from her lips almost hysterically when she spied his lips twitching into a grin.

When she calmed down, her mind took on a more analytical tone of the problem that was Merle.

"What is it?" Rick asked.

"Daryl can't stay with him forever, what happens when he needs to go on runs?" she pointed out. "And even if you put another guard on him, it is not a solution for the long term."

"Yeah," he agreed, rubbing his jaw and exhaling, "I know".

Unsatisfied with his answer, she asked, "Did he say what he was doing so far away from Woodbury, injured?"

Rick shook his head. "No and I wouldn't believe a word out of his mouth either," he added.

He left shortly after that, reminding her that his children were waiting for him and she saw him out, feeling a little better about where they stood, which was somewhere between being almost friends to people who just happened to live in the same community. It was certainly more than she had expected from him after their last disastrous argument.

It wasn't until a couple of weeks later that she realized she had not asked Rick what he meant about her needs.

In addition to Merle's continued presence in Alexandria that had distracted her. The asshole really was just everywhere granted Daryl made the occasional appearances to game nights or planned dinners that her friends invited her to. For the most part, she ignored his presence but was always vigilant and ready in case he jumped her. He was relatively less abrasive and she took joy in the fact that he looked uncomfortable in these settings that he would sit off to the side with a bottle of beer in hand, watching them with a scowl on his face.

Glenn approached her after such a night with a proposal to join him, Rosita and Heath on a run that would last them at least two to three days as they needed to go out even further for supplies. Without much hesitation, she'd readily agreed, relishing the prospect of being away from home for a few days and all the while suspecting Maggie's hand in setting this up.

The trip had taken two days and it had been successful if not tiring, glad that they were all returning home in one piece. It was touch and go at their last stop; the walkers had seemingly appeared from thin air and descended upon them in waves. It was divine intervention combined with pure luck that saved their stupid asses. It was early in the morning when she spied the walled community up ahead and the sight of it made her smile. They were filthy and sleepy having driven all night just to make it back home, Rosita now commandeering the vehicle at a frighteningly dangerous speed. The hair at the back of her neck prickled as she sensed that someone was watching her. Looking to her right, she found Glenn staring at her, baffled, she quirked an eyebrow at him.

"You were awesome with that blade," he complimented her, pointing to the katana, "and fast getting in and out of places. If you want, you can talk to Rick about switching to the supply crew."

Taken aback, she opened her mouth to respond then closed it, not having expected him to make such a suggestion.

"Think about it and let me know," he suggested.

"No, no, I do not need to." She had gotten into a routine, waking up in the morning to do some yoga and then have her training sessions with the Alexandrians. After that, she helped outside the wall. Lately, she had been thinking about asking Sasha to help her with shooting a sniper rifle. She wanted to do more to help around and protect the place so this was the perfect opportunity. "I'll do it."

He grinned and faced her, thrusting his right hand between them, Michonne chuckled extending her hand. He gripped her forearm and she did the same in a warrior's handshake, wondering if this is what Maggie had in mind when she told Glenn to ask her to come on this run.

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"I hear that you guys brought back a good haul." Rick motioned for her to walk out of the door first.

She had gone up to catch up with Maggie and Sasha sometime after waking up and having an early dinner. They had mentioned that Rick and Daryl had argued, apparently Merle wanted his brother to return to Woodbury with him. The argument had been a cause of contention between the two, Rick once again apprehensive at the idea of Daryl leaving, and the latter caught between the demands of Rick and Merle.

They hadn't been talking for long when Rick showed up with Glenn then proceeded to sit down with them for an impromptu get together. Having not seen him in two days, she threw an appreciative glance in his direction as he greeted Sasha, he'd shaved leaving just a trace of dark stubble along his jaw.

When she announced that she was leaving, Rick had stood up with her and said his goodbyes too. Sasha threw her a loaded look and she shrugged in response as she turned to leave. It didn't have to mean anything that Rick was choosing that moment to leave as she seemed to suggest with her expressive eyes.

Their houses where in opposite direction, so when they descended the porch stairs, Michonne turned to him to bid him a goodnight but his finger curled around her elbow and nudged her gently to keep walking. She stood there slack-jawed and motionless for a second staring at him as he went past her, still feeling the warmth of his hand where he had touched her. He was walking in the opposite direction of where his house was located.

He was walking towards her home.

"Glenn mentioned that you might want to join the supply crew?" Rick continued.

That propelled her to move forward and walk in step with him. "Yeah." She cleared her throat. "He said to talk to you about that".

Ricked looked at her as they crossed the street. "It's up to you. On the days that you are not here, someone else will take over your duties or you can branch out and do other things." He trailed off, sounding thoughtful.

Afraid that he would bring up working in the infirmary again with Jessie, she mentioned her plans with Sasha. Rick stopped walking in the middle of the dimly lit street and she followed suit, his gaze was steady as it fixed upon her face when she looked up. Her breath caught in her throat at the openly pleased expression on his face. The soft look in his eyes made her feel like she'd been pumped full of adrenaline, leaving her breathless and her stomach tied up in knots.

"What?" she whispered, her voice sounding strange to her own ears.

"Just… I was wrong." Rick took a step closer, eating up the remaining distance between them, their bodies almost touching reminiscent of when he had pushed her against the door. Michonne watched his hand extending towards her and touch her hair lying against her neck, his finger brushed lightly against her skin, making her tremble.

His eyes dropped to her neck and lingered there. "All this time, I thought convincing you to stay and watching you make a home for yourself, it felt like I was reliving my own experiences. I'm sorry that I constantly threatened to take that away from you. That was wrong, it was arrogant and cruel but somehow it made you fight that much harder. I thought I was giving you what you needed but it's been you all along." Rick smiled, his eyes finally focusing on hers, their warmth drawing her in. "Giving me what I need."

They stood motionless beneath the night sky, Michonne felt a multitude of emotions slamming into her all at once at his confession. Impulsively, she leaned forward with her eyes closed and pressed her lips against his cheek for several seconds before pulling away.