When Maggie left the table by a 911 page from the ER, Leah used the chance to talk to Meredith.
"Excuse me, Dr. Grey, can I talk to you for a second?" – Murphy asked her.
"Yeah, sure, what's going on?" – Meredith answered her.
"I wanted to apologize for what happened at your dinner party. I was completely out of line and never should've come to your birthday like that, and of course, I shouldn't have said anything. I'm really sorry, I really wish we can put this aside of our professional lives" – Leah sounded honest.
"Murphy, I think you were completely out of line, indeed, but you should apologize to Arizona, actually. And don't worry about this interfering in our professional lives, but with that behavior, things will get much harder for you, this job actually requires you to have friends around" – Meredith said.
"I know. I would love to apologize to her, but I don't think she would listen to me. Can I ask you something personal?" – Leah asked her.
"Well, you can, I don't know if I'll answer, though" – Meredith quipped.
"You and Dr. Robbins are close, right? You're friends" – Leah started.
"Yes, we are, why?" – Meredith felt a little nervous about where this conversation was going.
"Did she ever talk about my return? I know she was upset that I didn't come back for her or that I didn't look for her ever since, but we never had a chance to talk about it, I mean, she was very important to me that time, but I've moved on, and apparently she treats me bad because of some hard feelings from the past" – Leah said like a confession, even though it was a big lie; she knew Meredith's reaction would indicate what kind of relationship she had with Arizona.
"What do you mean 'hard feelings'? I thought you guys ended it when she and Callie decided to try again" – Meredith said with a serious look on her face, as it was something really unpleasant to hear.
"Well, yes, that's when we ended it, but she kind of had this crush on me, or I don't know, maybe this feeling of having power over someone" – Murphy said with a slight smile, making Meredith angrier.
"I think you should deal with Robbins, then. Whatever unsolved crush you both had, or still have. Just leave me out of this" – Meredith said and left the cafeteria.
Murphy was convinced that something was going on between them; Meredith's reaction clearly showed that this type of feelings regarding Arizona messes with Meredith's head.
Meanwhile, Meredith was feeling awful. Her so-called happiness didn't last even a whole day. Since Arizona wasn't really a close friend for all of these years, Meredith couldn't really tell if Leah Murphy was lying or not. She started to remember the time that Derek's past just appeared out of nowhere and how much she ended up hurt because of that. She didn't want to live this again, she wasn't even sure about her feelings.
It wasn't much longer after these thoughts that Meredith received a text from Arizona.
Are you on call tonight? I think we need our real first date, like, a proper date. What do you think about me and you, fancy dinner, lots of kisses, tonight?
If it happened an hour ago, Meredith would be radiant. Right now, she just put her phone back in her pocket without answering. She didn't want a real date, she wanted a real person, willing to be with her. Maybe that was too much to ask.
Arizona spent the rest of her day checking on her phone to see if Meredith answered, and became disappointed with her silence. She started to think that maybe she acted too fast and scared her. That's exactly why she always runs away from newborn lesbians, they're never ready to anything real, while she was way too tired for mind games and reckless relationships.
When Meredith was leaving the hospital at the end of the day, she saw Rachel, Arizona's date from some nights before, and immediately felt jealous. The young doctor was entering her car in the parking lot and looking fabulous, and Meredith started to think if Arizona ended things with her or if she didn't intend to do it. She decided to wait for the blonde leaning against her car. She needed to understand if these mixed feelings of fear, jealousy, and desire were real or just something Meredith invented in her head.
Arizona left the hospital a while after that to found Meredith waiting for her.
"Hey, I didn't expect you here…" – Arizona didn't end her sentence and Meredith kissed her hard. – "Oh, I didn't expect this either"
"I don't want a real date. I just need to get inside your car and go somewhere with you where I can do this all night" – Meredith said while her hands were lifting Arizona's top.
"But I thought you wanted to wait like you said…." – Arizona got interrupted again.
"Stop talking, take me to your house. Now." – Meredith ordered.
Of course, Arizona was enjoying all this fierceness from Meredith, but she was confused as well. She was afraid Meredith was trying to prove something when Arizona didn't want her to do anything before she was actually ready to do it. She just wanted to spend time with her, have a drink and some good laughter. Suddenly Arizona was the one scared to have sex with a woman who was nothing like last night's and kept kissing and biting Arizona throughout the drive home.
Before they even step out of the car, Meredith was trying to take Arizona's top off, like they were two teenagers making out on a car hidden from the parents. Arizona pulled away from Meredith, catching her breath again.
"Mer, Mer. Hey, what's going on?" – Arizona asked, a little scared.
"Nothing, I just want you. Am I alone in this?" – Meredith seemed confused.
"Of course, not. But yesterday you wanted to wait, you said you weren't ready yet, and I am completely fine with waiting. But right now you're looking like a predator who can't even wait for us to get out of the car. This doesn't seem like you" – Arizona explained, noticing Meredith's face turn into a sad countenance.
"I think I better go home" – Meredith said and Arizona grabbed her arm immediately.
"I'm not asking you to go home, I'm not even saying we can't do anything, I'm just not sure you're doing this because you want to. Don't you wanna talk with me?" – Arizona asked her, with a sweet voice.
"I just thought that, for the first time in my life, something would be easy, you know?" – Meredith said, finally.
"What are you talking about?" – Arizona was lost.
"When I was dating Derek, when everything looked so perfect, his past came directly into my life. One day I had a love story and on the next, I was left behind with a bottle of tequila and a broken heart. Even later, even after we got married, things weren't easy. The very few relationships I had other than Derek weren't any easier. So, this time, with you, I just thought we could enjoy being together in an easy way" – Meredith said, still making Arizona feels lost.
"Mer, I understand what you're saying about your past and about what you wish for your life right now, I just don't understand how this explains your behavior or even why you get so fast to the conclusion that things between us won't be easy" – Arizona insisted on the matter.
"Because your past is haunting me too!" – Meredith said a little louder.
"My past? How is that so? Did Callie say something?" – Arizona was even more lost than before.
"No, not Callie. Murphy" – Meredith confessed.
"Mer, you were the one who told me that she was out of line that day. How can she be haunting you?" – Arizona asked her.
"Well, when she asks me if you ever said something about still being heartbroken for her, it's actually a great way of knowing more from your past" – Meredith said and Arizona couldn't hold her laughter.
"Oh my God, did you seriously believe in her?" – Arizona was laughing.
"It doesn't matter Arizona. If it's not her, it's always someone. And that's fine, you have a past, I have a past. I am the one who's not ready for facing this kind of competition right now" – Meredith explained, serious.
"Of course it matters, Mer! She's lying for whatever reason she wants to, and honestly, I really don't give a damn about her or what she created on her mind. She's a great girl who expected more from me than I ever intended to give. I ended things quickly because I wanted to give my marriage another chance. She got hurt, I felt bad for it, but it happens. I never told her that we were exclusive, I never told her I wanted a relationship with her. It was casual, even though I cared about her and her feelings. So, yes, I have a past and right now I am pretty sure that the past is still in the past." – Arizona explained and held Meredith's hand.
"How can I be sure I won't be another Leah Murphy for you?" – Meredith asked, worried.
"Because I wouldn't have denied sex worrying about you being ready or not. Because I wouldn't try to convince you to stay and forget about this competition silliness. And because you make me feel awesome. It's not everyone who makes me feel like that." – Arizona said and kissed Meredith on the lips – "Now, can we go inside and cuddle before I freeze out in here?"