Act IX: Jeanne's Fury

It was friday and the witches were home, playing some Bayonetta 2 tag climax.

"Cereza, it's time to go. Speaking the truth, I'm a bit worried about the race."

"Yeah, me too."

The witches entered the garage.

"Jeanne, I think you should drive this time?"

"What!? Why?"

"We've a plan with Luka. I'm going to communicate with him during the race. Don't worry, you'll do fine."

Jeanne wasn't as experienced as Bayonetta when it came to driving, but she could do the job fine.

"After all, if our plan works out Shingo won't finish at all." Bayonetta explained.

Soon they were driving up Akina. Jeanne noticed how a lot people gathered to see the race between "an unstoppable truck" and the Umbra Witches.

"So much people have come to see the race." She said.

"They are quite brave, I though no one would ever come here again after we nearly destroyed the place during our last race."

They reached the top of the mountain. Shingo's truck was already standing there. Keisuke approached the witches' car.

"Hey Jeanne!" He said.

Ryosuke came to the window on the other side and started talking to Bayonetta.

"Keisuke and Jeanne had quite a long conversation at our place several days ago. I think he likes her."

"Huh? Good to know."

"Anyway, I've heard the truck you're racing is equipped with a ram. I think people won't mind if you play dirty if Shingo will as well. I can't imagine him playing fair, to be honest."

"We will indeed play dirty. He's going to use a legendary artifact to win the race. I have a feeling he does not want to see us in the racing scene."

"Really? What artifact?"

"Big Rigs: Over the Road Racing."

"Oh shit! You witches got a plan?"

"Yes, but looks like it's not working out as always."

They were standing there and talking for a couple of minutes, but Luka's helicopter was nowhere to be seen.

"Where's is he? Probably playing Bayonetta on his new laptop... Shit, should have took it away from him." Bayonetta thought.

"Let's start the race already, you've had enough time to get ready!" Shingo shouted. The crowd suported him.

"Shit, Luka's still not here! What do we do?" Bayonetta thought.

"I'm not gonna wait forever, we're starting the race!" Shingo said. The crowd screamed again and the "ready check" began.

"The first corner, everything's fine."

"Second corner, all clear."

"Third corner, ready for the race."

Bayonetta was getting nervous. "Damn you, Luka."

"Cereza, what do we do? We depend on your plan. Where's Luka?"

"Race as normal for now. Luka will come."

Meanwhile, the race was about to start

"The finish line speaking. We are ready, begin the countdown!"

"Okay! Five, four, three, two, one, go!"

[Eurobeat itensifies]

Jeanne floored the gas. She got to the first corner and the truck wasn't even following them.

"Strange, he's still at the start line! What's going on?"

"Jeanne, he's turning around! His truck goes much faster backwards. We must get as far as we can."

Jeanne started Witch Driving down the mountain. For some time, the truck wasn't visible but soon enough it appeared in the rear mirror.

"I think he's going to ram us!" Bayonetta shouted.

Jeanne took a sharp turn to drive on the road instead of driving straight down the mountain to try and dodge the truck. Shingo copied Jeanne's trajectory and almost rammed their car. Suddenly, the witches' car disappeared from Shingo's point of view.

"This is L.U.K.A speaking! I see the race has already began!" Luka said over the radio as he picked up the witches' car with a magnet.

"Holy shit, Luka, you're right on time." Jeanne screamed.

"Bayonetta, get in the helicopter! I'm gonna try and slow him down now!" Luka said.

Bayonetta climbed out of the car and entered the helicopter. She quickly adapted to the controls even though she never piloted a vehicle of this type before.

"Bayo, get closer to the truck!" Luka shouted as he prepared to jump.

The witch flew closer to Shingo's truck. It wasn't that hard because Shingo lost a lot of speed trying to ram the witches. Luka jumped off the helicopter, attached his hook to the witches' car and used it to fly straight into the truck's interior.

"What? Who are you?" Shingo screamed.

"L.U.K.A! I'm here to save the day! I saw how you tried to ram the witches, you clearly wanted to kill them! I can't allow that!"

Shingo started punching Luka and trying to get him out of the truck. By this moment, they were already going over 400 km/h.

"Cereza, looks like they are close to the finish line. What if we're going to lose?"

"Shit, Jeanne, you're right! I hope Luka does something."

The truck reached the last place where the straight line down the mountain intersected with the track. It was Luka's last chance.

"Fuck you, Shingo!" Screamed Luka as he pushed the eject button.

The truck wasn't stuck to the ground anymore, it hit the track, left a bump in the asphalt, spun out and used the mountain as a ramp to fly far away and over the horizon.

"The truck flew away! Shit, Luka is still in it!" Bayonetta shouted.

"Hopefully, he brought a parachute."

Luka indeed did bring a parachute, he jumped out of the window and succesfully landed, while the truck proceeded to fly out into the stratosphere, in the direction of Europe.

Bayonetta piloted the helicopter to the finish line, let go of the car and landed nearby.

"We should straight up use a jet next time." Said Jeanne.

The Takahashi brothers appeared in the driveway and approached the witches. Keisuke came up to Jeanne.

"Jeanne, are you okay? I've seen Shingo trying to ram you, what a prick! I will probably fight him if I see him again!"

Ryosuke was discussing with Bayonetta a possible race between them and Keisuke on Akagi. Suddenly, Bayonetta's cell phone rang. The friends went silent to listen to it.

"Hello, it's Luka!"

"Hey Luka! Did you land safely?"

"Yeah, I'm not sure where I am though."

"Hmm."

"Hold on, there's a road sign. Wait, I think I am in North Korea."

"LOL."

The call was then interrupted.

"Where's Luka?" Jeanne asked.

"Well, I think we'll probably never see him again." Bayonetta sighed.

"Unfortunate, he was a nice guy."

"At least we get to keep his things."

"Haha! Nice thinking, Cereza, nice thinking."

They stared talking and laughing again.