After several hours of tearing the house apart they came up bust.

They should have known Megan knew better than to take threats from them seriously there was no getting her to talk.

"What are we going to do?" Drake sighed, collapsing in frustration onto Josh's bed; his head at the foot.

Josh joined him, resting his head on Drake's stomach, forcing a small grunt from Drake.

He fought the urge to run his fingers through Josh's soft, matted curls, Stop it!

"I don't know. We searched everywhere. Who's to say Mom and Dad don't already have the camera?"

"Please don't say that!"

"You know, there is one place we haven't searched…"

"Don't even think for one minute I'm searching Megan!"

"No, Drake! I mean our room."

"Why would she hide it in here? We'd find it."

"No, not necessarily. She'd assume we would assume she wouldn't. That or she'd know we'd know and not hide it here knowing…"

"So we ganna look or not?"

They literally turned the room upside down and nothing.

Collapsing, this time in exhaustion back onto the bed, Drake assumed the worst, "Mom and Dad have it. Game over."

Josh joined him back on the bed, "If you think about it, it is possible they already know anyway." He sighed, defeated.

"How?! No one I know ever said anything…"

"Think about it; all of San Diego knows, how do we know for sure it never got back to them…"

"Because they would have said something?"

"No. I bet they haven't said anything because they want to hear it from us," Josh sat up to look Drake in the eye. He already looked scared and hurt as it was, but felt Drake should know, "Mom and Dad already had their suspicions about you…"

"What? Suspicions about…"

"You being… you know…"

Drake thought for a moment. Maybe he hadn't done such a good job hiding. But then, deep down he didn't want to hide. He wanted to be himself.

"Then why didn't they s-"

"They didn't want to say anything because they didn't want to scare you farther into hiding. And they wanted to hear it from you before they came across like they were ganging up on you," He lowered his head, trying his best to hide the fact he was painfully holding in tears that would not be held back, "Like you had them do to me."

Drake crawled to Josh's side.

Rather than force Josh to look up, Drake lay back to rest his head in his lap.

"Go ahead and cry. Trust me, you'll feel better." He said reassuringly, lightly wiping away a stray tear, "I am sorry."

Josh gently removed Drake's hand from his face, "Yeah, I know," He choked, sliding from under Drake, "Look, I… I want to tell them, I do. I know it's not fair to you and I'm sorry for that…" He added, pacing the room. The harder he fought the tears, the more it hurt.

Losing the battle, he fell back onto the couch.

Drake stayed on the bed. Knowing how it was to have someone intrude on a good cry, he let Josh go.

After a few minutes, Josh could feel the tension lift. Drake was right, he did feel better. At least his head didn't hurt anymore from holding back.

Once Drake was sure Josh was calm, he cautiously joined him on the couch, "Feel better?"

"Y-yeah, I do. Thanks."

Sitting back for a few silent moments both looked to each other and sighed.

"You know," Drake said, wanting to break the silence, "You said you were happy for me moving on. Did you mean it?"

"Well, yeah. I love you too much to see you sitting around hurting. I was actually glad to see you with other guys."

"Honestly, I wish you'd stop saying that."

"What?"

"I love you."

"But I do. I told you I can't turn my feelings on and off…"

"You know why it never worked out with any of the guys I was seeing?"

"Well, I just thought you were going back to your old ways; playing the field." He jokingly jabbed Drake in the arm, trying hard to lighten the mood again. Last thing he wanted was another tear-fest.

"Aside from the fact I wouldn't 'put out'… the last guy was the closest I came, but he just…"

"You never? With any of them?"

"No," He jumped from the couch, taking his turn at pacing the room, "I didn't want to! With any of them! With any one because…" He could feel the all too familiar welling of his eyes, but refused, Don't you do it! Don't you cry!

"Drake?"

"Like I said, the last one was the closest I came, but he… he wasn't you!"

Josh sat back trying to process what Drake was saying. He couldn't believe Drake would spend the whole time trying to find him in someone else He loves me that much he compares them all to me

He wasn't sure what to say. He was flattered? A bit freaked out? A little of both. Then it occurred to him, Drake didn't seem to notice Josh hadn't had one date since their break up.

But then Josh himself wasn't even sure what held him back. There were a few prospects, but then school and the whole mess with Drake and Mike reared their ugly heads.

He didn't want to start anything by dredging up that mess.

When Drake went to pass the couch once more as he paced, Josh reached out to pull him back and set him down.

"Drake I… I don't know what to say. I'm sorry?"

"Don't. It doesn't matter. But I guess you can take back being happy for me. Obviously 'moving on' isn't working for me."

"Well, in case you haven't noticed; I haven't exactly been wrought with an over abundance of dates myself."

Drake sat up and shot a look that would break even the strongest of people, "B-because you… you still love me?" He fell back in shock; once the words left his lips there was no going back. As much as he wanted to believe that to be true, he knew better, Why did I say that out loud?!

He felt like such a fool. He didn't want an answer, but knew Josh had one.

"I-I guess that's part of it," He admitted, to his own shock and dismay, "I do have other things on my mind…"

"Like that guy?"

Josh sat up defensively. Was he that easy to read? How could Drake possibly know?

Unless he didn't and was just guessing.

Or trying to get a rise from him.

Either way, Josh knew from his own reaction, if Drake didn't know before knew now.

"Maybe."

"I knew that was a date!"

"No! We were just hanging out, that's all. We went out to dinner and just talked before I took him…"

"A date."

"Drake, it wasn't a date! He was leaving that night and just wanted to someone to hang out with before he left."

Left, Drake wondered to himself, "What do you mean 'left'?" He asked, wanting to hear it from Josh the guy was out of the picture for good.

"He was going back to get ready for school."

"School?"

"Just so happens he goes to Whitman, and all we did on this so called 'date' was talk about what it's like."

Whitman? As in Josh is going to Whitman in a couple of days, "Perfect. Just perfect." Drake let slip.

"Drake don't!" He couldn't believe he felt the need to defend himself. What was he thinking? It was becoming all too clear to Josh that as far as Drake was concerned it was okay for Drake to try and move on but not him.

The thought angered him. The last thing he wanted aside from more hurt and tears was the anger.

"You know I don't even care anymore if Mom and Dad have the damn camera! I don't care if they know!"

"J-Josh…"

"If it will end this once and for all… "

He marched out, slamming the door behind him leaving Drake to think about what he was doing: Pushing Josh away.