Eyes on Fire
Chapter 10: Breaking Down

Dear Jennifer,

I guess what happened was something nothing any of us saw coming. Now you're gone as well… It's quite lonely here and I miss you already, and it's only been a week. I hope this got to you because I don't know if owls can even fly that far. I've never had to test that before. School isn't how it was before you left. It's hell of boring and the new first years have it easy without Jennifer Williams teasing and taunting them left and right. Me and Becca have been giving them as much hell as we can but it's not enough to satisfy our needs and wants. Any suggestions?

Anyways, gorgeous, how's Hogwarts? I heard it's a wonderful school. My parents always wanted to send me there but since we live in Nebraska, it was too big of a commute, so they say. I'm going to try to talk them into sending me there. Do they take transfer students when the school year has started already? Ask your headmaster and get back to me. I'm nothing without my older twin and it's killing me. I miss you, Jen and Becca's worried about me, even though I say I'm fine…

And the letter dragged on and on as I read, eating a bunch of my favorite candies, Whizzly's Wondertarts that Nicholas sent me. I was reading Nicholas's letter first since I wanted to hear from him first. As I said before, Nicholas was like my brother. Although as I read this letter, I felt a different vibe but I figured it was just because I missed them all so much. It was late at night and I had my wand lit up at the tip while munching on my candies. I looked around and saw all the other girls asleep. Tomorrow, or later this morning depending on what time it was, was another beginning of classes. For some reason, I wasn't looking forward to more homework. I had finished all my homework from the current week; it had taken me almost all Sunday and now I was sitting here, the night before Monday, reading the letters that came for me two days ago. I'm pathetic…

I finished reading Nicholas's letter after my small ranting and began on the next, from Georgina. It wasn't as exuberant and odd as Nicholas's; she mainly talked about the cute little first years and the cute boy she's interested in nowadays. I didn't know the guy she was talking about, which I knew she'd know and the next one would have a picture of him and her. She was good at snagging the guy she wanted. I only had one more letter to read and it was from Zachary; I figured as much since he was Georgina's twin brother. They were complete opposite though.

Jennifer,

I bet you guessed my sister made me write this stupid letter. I hate writing but she said it was 'common courtesy' to write your friends. I was going to write you, when I got around to it but I guess you don't want to hear one of your friends ranting on how he doesn't want to write you. I really do miss you and your weirdness. School is very plain nowadays for this first week; none of the first years are strong this year like Sandy Clampit was last year. That girl had a tongue and is now dating Steve Riley, whoever the hell that is.

How's Hogwarts? How are your grandparents? How's your love life, if you've established one yet? I bet you have because you always were a looker, Jen, although you never saw it. You should see Nicholas though. He's clinically depressed without you. He mopes and mopes and hardly pranks the first years so now I'm stuck with my sister pranking stupid first years. I hate first years. They're lame and stupid. Anyways, I've written you a darn letter so with finals, I miss you and hope to hear from you. Don't except a reply from your own reply… I might be too busy or just too damn lazy. Love ya, Jen.

~Zachary

I had to bite my lip from laughter at Zachary's letter. He always was a pessimist, which made me doubt him and his sister were even related. Georgina was the biggest optimist I've met and her brother was so angry and so negative all the time. He liked hanging out with me though, for some odd reason but only when his sister wasn't around. Poor Georgina always dragged him around from place to place to place, trying to get him to see the happy side. I couldn't wait until Zachary got a good girl to settle down with and fell in love and see the happy side of life, if that even happens. I folded up Zachary's letter and stared at Nicholas's letter before sighing and picking it up to read it once more…

…"Wake up, Jennifer…" a soft voice stated and I grumbled, my eyes stinging from being disturbed from a very amazing dream. I had no idea what happened in it but I felt amazing. I shuddered when the covers were pulled from me and a soft chuckle echoed around me. "Jennifer, wake up or you'll be late to class…" I groaned and swatted the voices away. I was instantly shoved and I fell onto my stomach, my arm falling off my bed and smack onto the wooden ground. And with my bad luck, it happened to be my still sore, still sensitive arm. I screamed out and sat up, my head knocking into somebody's chin. I yelled out in pain again as my other arm raced to my head as it began to grow a sharp pain in the back.

"Bloody hell, Jennifer!" Amy's hoarse voice yelled. I looked over at her and saw that her lip had begun bleeding. I blinked and for some reason, I began laughing. She looked at me oddly before laughing herself. Hermione was on our other side and she had a confused look on her face.

"You two are so strange," she stated, smiling and shaking her head as she began walking away. I stared after Hermione before standing from the floor, cradling my throbbing arm and eyeing Amy after a while. Amy grinned innocently as she sucked on her bottom lip before grabbing her wand and saying an incantation, healing her bleeding lip. It healed up quickly and she grinned, walking to her bed. I glared slightly before grabbing one of my uniforms and heading to the showers. After classes today, I'd be going to the hospital wing and Madam Pomfrey would examine my wounds to see if it was safe to heal them completely now. I was wishing on healing them completely because they were so sore sometimes and right now, the throbbing was beginning to get annoying.

I stripped to nothing, pulling my bandages off and letting them wash in the water before hanging them up. I hopped into the shower and began washing my body down, staring down at the wounds on my forearm. They were gruesome looking still. They looked like someone took a whole bunch of small pitchforks across my skin, tearing the flesh and meat. At least I couldn't see my bones anymore; that was disgusting. It almost made Hermione hurl the other day and Amy wanted to touch it, but I smacked her hand away before that could happen. I didn't need any more infectious things inside of them; I already went through excruciating pain of spreading ointment on them to extract the damn poison.

"Hurry up, Jennifer! I'm hungry!" Amy's voice came after a loud rapping on my shower door. I glared at the door and resumed washing. I finished after a while and dried off with my hair in a towel, dressing in my uniform and heading out to the mirror. Amy smiled at me and I narrowed my eyes at her before brushing my hair and letting it hair dry. I liked my natural hair and disliked straightening it all the time so I tried to keep it natural more often. I stared at myself in the mirror as Amy sat on the sink, waiting for me as usual. I methodically began brushing my teeth as my mind wandered. I don't know where this was coming from as my mind blanked and I stared at the mirror even more, as though something were about to happen. "Jennifer, come on! Stop staring at your face! You look fine. Now let's go so I can go eat!" Amy stated, grinning at me. I sighed.

"Go ahead, then. I'll meet you down there," I stated and Amy gave me a weird look, but didn't question anything. She nodded and walked out, shutting the door with a soft click. I kept staring at the mirror, at my reflection as once again my mind began to wander. I watched my lips curve to a frown as I reached out, touching my reflection as if it were unreal. I looked completely the same but knowing my face, I had deep lines under my eyes and puffy bags as well. My laugh lines were gone and my eyes didn't have that sparkle my dad's eyes always had. My eyes stung and a sob reached my lips as I bowed my head, clenching my eyes shut and looking away from the reflection.

"Are you Jennifer Williams?"

"No," I whined as panic and grief raced through me.

"Yeah… What's going on?"

My eyes clenched shut as I fell to my knees, gripping at the hemline of my skirt. I began sobbing as tears fell down my cheeks as familiar depressing feelings raced through me.

"We have news for you about your parents."

I knew that man that had come to my door, knocking with a look of grief and mourning written on his face. I had read the look the moment I opened the door but couldn't come to terms with it. What if they had been wrong and my parents appeared behind them, just as confused as I was? The sobs came out in rasps as I allowed myself to break down for once in my life. I had always stopped myself, for my father's sake. I knew he was staring down at me and he wouldn't want me crying over something I couldn't help.

"There's been a terrible accident… Your parents were killed instantly," he stated as Jennifer stared at him, horror filling her watering eyes. Jennifer's world seemed to freeze as she stared at the guy's face, searching for lies and deceit but she found none so instead of breaking down in front of this guy, she slammed her fists against his chest.

"You lie!" she screamed and the guy grabbed her wrists, hugging her to him as she beat on him over and over again, not able to control herself. "No! They were just going to pick up dinner! They can't be dead! You're a liar!" she screamed, slamming against him and trying to break free. "This is a sick joke, Vince! How could you lie to me like this?" she screamed, her voice hoarse and hard. Vince sucked in his bottom lip, trying not to cry as Jennifer couldn't contain her anger against the man who had told her the news her parents had died—who also happened to be her father's best friend.

I was huddled in a corner, tears falling down my face as I held my knees against my chest. I had my head against the tile walls as my sobs quieted down to small hiccups occasionally. I was just tearing now as I stared ahead of me. I knew I had missed breakfast and probably first hour; Amy would probably be looking or wondering where I was. I didn't care. I needed this moment too badly. My heart was weak against my chest as I reached up, pressing my hand against it. I looked down and frowned. I had forgotten to bandage up my forearm…

"Jen, are you still in here?" I heard but didn't answer. I heard slow footsteps head toward me and the silhouette of Amy appeared before me. "Jennifer!" she exclaimed, hurrying to me and falling to her knees. "What's wrong? Why are you crying?" Amy asked, confused. I looked from her, not wanting to be a burden. "Jennifer," Amy whispered, sitting beside me and wrapping her arm around my shoulders. She looked genuinely concerned and it was like word vomit as I spoke to her.

"It happened about five months ago," I began, my lips quivering from sobs I tried to hold back. "I was so angry with them. I don't even remember what the hell I was so angry at them for. It was probably something stupid and she had told me they were going to go get dinner and would be back in a bit, to cool off. I had screamed at them to just stay away forever. That I didn't need them or want them as parents anymore," I mumbled, my eyes beginning to sting with tears I fought against. "And about an hour later, Vince came up to my door to tell me that my parents were in a tragic accident…" My voice cracked as I buried my head into Amy's chest. Amy wrapped her arms around me as shock ran across her face. "I was so mean to them. Instead of saying 'be safe and see you when you get home', I yelled at them for something I can't even remember. I never even got a chance to tell them I loved them…one...last, time," I sobbed out as Amy began shushing me.

"I'm sure they know you love them," she whispered. I didn't say anything as Amy pushed me up. I felt like a vulnerable little porcelain doll as Amy stared at me squarely, her eyes slightly narrowed. "Parents are good at taking hatred hits. They always know their children love them, no matter what happens…" I sighed and began wiping at my face, breathing in heavily. I had a hard time breathing straight.

"I wish I could remember what I yelled at them for," I mumbled, frowning. Amy frowned and ran her hand through my hair, grinning her goofy grin.

"Don't fret anymore, Jennifer. They're watching over you right now and if you were crying over something they already knew, I'm sure they'd give you a whooping when you met them again," Amy stated, her eyes squinting. I chuckled and wiped at my face, reaching out and hugging her. Amy hugged me back and it was almost like a relief as I sat there, with my new best friend basically. I didn't regret her finding me and me spilling my guts out. I needed a break down and I'm glad it was with someone who wouldn't make a big deal out of it. "Now come on! The others are worried about you. It took all of my persuasion to keep Hermione from becoming detective," Amy teased and I laughed, nodding. Amy smiled and helped me up. I stopped at the sinks, washing my face and staring into my reflection. I smiled when I saw my parents' faces in my own once more. I knew I was back and nothing was going to stop me from releasing the real Jennifer Williams on Hogwarts.