"Naruto... is everything okay? You look upset..." Sasuke murmured, chewing on his bottom lip nervously. Naruto spared him a side-glance, deepening his frown and crossing his arms righter.

"Don't talk to me," he responded coldly. Sasuke narrowed his brows confused, and fisted his hands in his long sleeved hoodie.

"What's wrong with you?" The raven insisted angrily.

Naruto swallowed back a heavy lump and tried not to show the overwhelming sadness that enveloped him. "Don't act all innocent, Sasuke... I know what you did."

NSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNS

"I said don't touch me!" Sasuke withdrew his arm, refusing to even look the other in the eyes. His body was trembling, but he tried to control it. His heart could only take so much. This conversation was going the wrong way, it was almost like a flashback.

"Had I been a better boyfriend?" Naruto repeated, narrowing his eyes in disbelief and hurt. Sasuke frowned and crossed his arms, averting his gaze completely. His cheeks reddened, and it was hard to know if he was actually angry or just masking hurt with anger.

"You were the one who betrayed me, remember?" The blonde began, swallowing back a heavy lump in his throat. Sasuke just shut his eyes and bit the inside of his cheek. Naruto clenched his fists, not liking how the raven looked more like the victim. I am the victim here!

"I loved you... so much," Naruto began, blinking back a tear that threatened to fall. Sasuke hugged his own frame tighter, as if to protect himself from the words directed so brokenly at him. Naruto let his emotion-filled gaze land on the floor. "I treasured you more than anyone..."

"Stop, Naruto," Sasuke breathed, fighting with everything he had to not let his emotions show. It was a losing battle.

"No, Sasuke!" Naruto raised his voice, making sure he was getting across to his ex. "I need you to hear this. I have wanted to tell you this, for so many years, I want to get this off my chest so I can move on. We have to talk things out. I am tired of pretending everything is okay."

Sasuke finally lifted his head to meet his eyes, and the amount of hurt evident in the blue orbs made his heart twist painfully. Finally, his mask fell off too, and his onyx eyes saddened. His chest swelled with remorse.

"There is nothing left to talk about..." The raven mumbled bitterly.

"You broke my heart into pieces, Sasuke..." Naruto confessed, not missing the wave of shiver that ran through his ex-boyfriend's body. "I know we were young. I know we were naïve. But maybe that was what made everything so painful," he looked at his own tattoo, and sighed heavily. "You might laugh at me right now. But back then, I genuinely believed we were going to be together forever."

Sasuke rubbed the side of his arm, his brows narrowing as he met Naruto's eyes. He hated how he made him sound like the bad guy, when he was actually the victim. Sasuke hated considering himself a victim, it went against everything his father taught him. Sasuke had not many memories of his father, but he was exposed to a lot of stern training at an early age. His father had taught him how to be a true "man" and that "men" had to act a certain way.

"Naruto..."

"Why, Sasuke? If I wasn't enough for you. You could have told me! You didn't have to go to such lengths for me to see that. I am not that dense. If you had told me what you were unhappy about, I could have changed. Even if I didn't like it, I would have changed for you. You know I would do anything for you..." Naruto did nothing to prevent the one tear that slid down his face. Sasuke's brow twitched uncomfortably.

Shut up, Naruto.

Please, just shut up.

If you don't... I might unwillingly let my feelings out.

"Answer me, Sasuke. Was it fun to play with my feelings like that? Did you even love me the slightest bit?" Naruto was yelling now, only a meter away from Sasuke. The raven gaped at him, his lips trembling with rage. How dare he talk like I was the one who ended the relationship?

"You broke up with me, remember?!" He screamed back, seconds away from crying. I won't let him see me cry. I won't.

"That's because you cheated on me!" Naruto shouted, looking straight into those black eyes. "And I never broke up with you! I just said we needed break! But you just left me, you moved to another city just one day after! You left me with no chance of contacting you. That's not fair."

"I never cheated on you!" Sasuke had so many feelings flowing through him. His chest felt like it was about to explode. He did not want to talk about this. It was too painful to even think about what had happened that day.

Naruto shook his head and laughed mockingly. This was annoyingly similar to the fight they had a couple of years ago. Sasuke was a liar. He had seen it happen.

"You didn't even deny it last time. You slept with that creepy teacher, didn't you? Wait, you don't need to answer. I saw it with my own eyes!"

Sasuke wanted to punch something, and he was dangerously close, too. He tried to not let himself get worked up. But when he saw the look of betrayal in the sapphire eyes, he felt something in him snap. He did not want to tell him. Because he knew the truth about the past would make Naruto very angry.

Not at Sasuke, but at himself.

"When we talked about it, you said you did it. Then you just left me. I was ready to forgive you, you know? I was helplessly in love with you, but you know what? Maybe it was for the better. I am glad you showed me your true self, or else I would have obliviously been dating a cheater!"

Sasuke crossed his arms, letting his thoughts wander off for a second as he let Naruto let out some steam. But he was hurting. The darkness and chaos that was his mind fought an internal conflict. He wanted to say something, anything. There was a heavy uncomfortable silence, before the blonde spoke again.

"You know, I actually saw it coming," he laughed bitterly. His expression then quickly changed. He looked like he wanted to cry. "I mean, I always thought: why would a guy like Sasuke, want a plain guy like me?" He met his eyes. Sasuke parted his lips briefly, tensed brows softening upon seeing the devastated look in his piercing eyes.

Naruto ran his fingers through his hair shortly. "You were my dream guy, Sasuke..." His voice was lower now, and the raven swallowed thickly as the words almost pierced through his chest. Naruto held his gaze the whole time. "I always thought you were so handsome, intelligent, strong and confident. But strangely enough, I was never jealous, like I sometimes pretended to be... The truth is... I was just... completely in love with you..."

The raven wanted to run. He did not want to hear anymore. It was too much. Naruto's voice was too heavy, to thick with emotions.

Emotions.

He hated emotions.

"You were my senpai. Do you know how unreal it felt for me to date an older guy? Well, I guess it always was unreal," he muttered, stuffing his hands in his pockets.

Sasuke had had enough. That was the final straw. He had tried to say as little as possible. He wanted to spare him some pain. He had tried to not tell him what he had been hiding from everybody. His brother being the sole exception.

"You fucking moron," Sasuke stepped forward, letting the rage he felt mask his expression perfectly. "You have gone ahead and spilled your feelings out. Gone ahead and made me sound like a heartless monster who only played with your heart just to brutally step on it. I have had enough of it!" Sasuke gave him a determined look and grabbed the collar of Naruto's shirt.

"Look me in my eyes, and tell me that you honestly believe that I never loved you. Is that really how you think of me? Did you sincerely think I would have been your best friend for six years then date you for three more years just so I can break your heart once I'm satisfied? I know you have a very low IQ, but did you really think I would waste nine years of my life with someone I give zero shits about?"

Naruto was both surprised and unhappy with the sudden outburst. He frowned when Sasuke let go off his shirt. Is he trying to talk himself away from what happened?

"Then why did you fuck that nasty old perv?" He screamed, making Sasuke take a step back. Their eyes were intensely glued to each other. Sasuke shut his lips tight and felt his whole mind scream at him to stop. His pride was begging him to not open his big mouth and say anything that would hurt his already damaged pride any further.

I won't say it. He thought, looking into the blue gaze that only reflected accusation. Naruto was accusing him for cheating. That was what broke them apart. The fact that he just blamed everything on Sasuke, was what made the poor, seventeen year old boy break down. The boy that had never been exposed to so many emotions at one time.

Don't say it!

He parted his lips, and had no control over his mouth anymore.

"Did it ever cross your stupid mind that maybe it wasn't consensual?!"

He said it.

Sasuke's eyes widened, and he tried to not look regretful as he let the words hang emptily in the room. It felt as if a dark secret that had been trapped inside the deepest parts of his soul just unleashed. He suddenly felt so... so much lighter.

Naruto narrowed his eyes in confusion, and a silence fell upon the room like a blanket. He blinked with his eyes narrowed, concentrating on the mesmerizing black eyes. Dread filled his chest when realization hit him.

"What do you mean? How can that be? I walked into you and your material art teacher... You told me to wait for you till you finished training and I did. Suddenly you were... having sex with him. You did not resist, you looked like you were really into it... how...?" Naruto's lips were trembling as he spoke.

The raven wiped a tear that slid down his pink-dusted cheek furiously. He hated the fact that he just told him he was raped. He had promised himself to never say it.

It was all his father's fault. His father had sternly raised Sasuke to be a man of few words and even fewer expressions.

Fugaku had taught him that one had to act a certain way to be a "man". Sasuke was barely a teen when he had taught him that a man had to be dominant and strong. Being raped, was one of the lowest things that could happen to a man, thus Sasuke had lived with the shame for so very long.

Even though his parents both died before he filled twelve, the memories of his father's words were engraved into his mind.

"I was... drugged," Sasuke could practically almost see his pride shred in front of his very eyes. He knew his father would turn in his grave if he knew about this. "That bastard drugged me," it felt so weird to talk about it out loud, as these words used to be haunting echoes in his head. "I had no idea what was happening. I felt so strange..." He would never forget the trauma of that fatal day.

The day he lost everything.

Naruto stared at him silently for a good minute. He had no idea how to take in the new information. It was the only thing he never really thought of. It was as if reality just hit his face like cold water. He took in the way Sasuke was hugging himself, the way his whole frame, that used to scream confidence, looked vulnerable.

There was also no way the raven could be lying. Naruto knew him. He knew how important it was for Sasuke to maintain the illusion of always having the upper hand. The aura of dominance and pride. Sasuke would never even think about lying about something like this. Heck, Naruto was surprised he even admitted this. He always considered Sasuke strong and perfect. Thus the thought of him being raped never crossed his mind.

As he noted the way his ex flushed with shame and hurt, he realized that... Sasuke was just a human.

Tears were streaming down Naruto's face, and suddenly he started feeling very guilty. He put a hand in front of his lips and sobbed weakly. Of course Sasuke would never willing sleep with an old fart like Orochimaru. The raven had gone on and on talking about how much he hated his guts.

Naruto knew how hard Sasuke found expressing himself. There was no way the raven would have told the blonde he was sexually-assaulted only hours after the incident. Heck, five years later, he was still finding it hard to talk about.

The blonde thought back to that day, how much he had screamed at his boyfriend. How much he had cried, yelled at him, and accused him for never loving him. He remembered the look of self-hatred and despair in the blank broken ebony gaze. Sasuke had tried to explain, but Naruto was too busy crying to even let him. He knew he should have given him time.

Nothing was ever Sasuke's fault.

But I was a stupid sixteen year old! I had a normal reaction of one finding out his boyfriend is cheating. But still... Sasuke is not like other people. I never even let him explain himself. I was too busy hating my life at that moment to actually consider his part of the incident.

"Oh, Sasuke..." Naruto whispered, daring to reach out one trembling hand to stroke the raven's cheek. Sasuke looked up through heavy lashes, trying to look strong but failing. "I'm so sorry..." He bit his bottom lip. "Why didn't you tell anyone? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Are you kidding me?" His eyes glazed. "Do you have any idea how absolutely humiliating it is for a man to admit such a thing?"

Sasuke closed his eyes, and felt Naruto wipe a tear he did not realize was falling. He felt chocked and overwhelmed. But strangely at the same time... he felt empty.

"I should have known..." Naruto stroked his pale cheek. Sasuke's mind was screaming at him to punch him, or kick him, but instead, he leaned into the contact. It was comforting, strangely, it was the kind of comfort he always wanted from his sex-partners, but always failed to achieve.

It was so bittersweet.

"This is all my fault..."

No... Naruto. I should have told you. I should have said something. It is my fault too.

Sasuke wanted to say those words, but his mouth wouldn't open. It was as if his tongue was twisted into an insoluble knot. He knew Naruto would blame himself forever. That was why Sasuke did not want to tell him the truth. He had hurt him enough.

Naruto cupped his ex-boyfriend's face with both hands, and lifted it slightly. Sasuke did not resist, and merely closed his eyes when the blonde leaned in. The comforting scent made his tense muscles relax the slightest.

"We probably kissed yesterday, didn't we?" the blonde whispered against his lips. Sasuke shrugged his shoulders, and found himself reaching for the hands on his face, covering them with his own. Naruto's hands were cold.

Sparkles tingled their spines when their lips met briefly, innocently, and they sealed their mouths in a soothing kiss. It was the kind of kiss that screamed forgiveness and regret.

Their legs felt like jelly, and the kiss spread warmth through their cold limbs. Both boys let themselves enjoy the contact. They had craved it. It took them back in time, and the memories of the happy days they spent together flashed through their head.

The nostalgia of their first kiss at the back of the concert hall when they were fourteen.

The kiss they shared in the empty street under the heavy rain as they waited in the buss stop.

The hot kiss they had when they were inside of each other for the first time in Sasuke's tidy cold bedroom.

The last peck Naruto gave Sasuke on the lips before the boy went to train with his teacher.

So many memories came to life in just one innocent kiss. Their lips missed the feeling the second they pulled back.

"I shouldn't have told you the truth..." Sasuke admits, lids heavier as he gaze into his ex-lover's plump lips. Because I would rather you hate me, then hate yourself.

Naruto shook his head, then softly left a kiss on the onyx haired boy's head. "No. I am glad you told me. I see you have been suffering too... You don't deserve that."

Sasuke did not like how much emotions he was showing. He was getting himself too carried away. He promised himself to never let that happen. Last time he followed his heart, it lead him to falling for the blonde. That could not happen again.

The boys looked really shaky, and the feelings were mixed. The whole situation was confusing, and their future looked very unclear.

"Now that... we have cleared that misunderstanding," Naruto began, his voice filled with hope. He took Sasuke's hand in his, and the contact tingled comfortably. "Do you think there is chance for us...?" His gentle tone almost got Sasuke's tears running.

With a small sigh, Sasuke withdrew his hand and looked at Naruto. He gave him a determined look.

"There is a chance for us... as friends."

Naruto felt a sudden stab, but nodded quickly to mask the hurt.

"We were never meant to be," he started, chewing the inside of his cheek. "I guess we can use the past and learn from it. Now that we both know what happened. It will be easier for us to move on and never make the same mistakes."

"But-"

"No, Naruto." Sasuke pulled his wrists back when Naruto tried to have a hold of them again. "Whatever we had is shattered. There is nothing left of it. Just accept the fact that we are not meant to be."

Both boys looked away hesitantly, and Naruto felt completely devastated. But he knew Sasuke was right. Even though his heart seemed to protest strongly. "I guess you're right. Of course. Everything is cool." He faked a happy smile.

Sasuke did not bother to even try smile, and just nodded. "I will see you around then, friend," he said and punched the blonde on his shoulder. Naruto grinned at him, acting as if everything was alright, while every cell in his body just wanted to sweep the raven off his feet and declare his undying love for him.

Sadly, this was no fairytale.

The raven glanced at him one last time, and Naruto took the chance to appreciate every single feature and inch that was Sasuke. He took in his beautiful coal hair, to his high defined cheekbones and mesmerizing black eyes. His lean neck, luscious pink lips and slender perfect body. Every part of him. Naruto wanted it so much it hurt. He was so close yet so far.

Then he disappeared.

Tears were streaming down Naruto's face, and he just stared at the door with a heavy heart.

What the hell just happened?

Everything had happened so fast, and Naruto was wondering if everything was just a dream. There was no trace of the raven in his house. He put a hand in front of his beating heart, and sighed heavily. Was he ready to give Sasuke up?

The fact that he knew Sasuke never cheated on him made it even harder to move on. Naruto thought for a second that they would make up, now that there were no misunderstandings. But even with his love-sick naïve mind, he understood it was not that easy.

What he would not give for a time machine.

"Daddy... I-is everything okay?"

The sweet angelic voice of his son, made Naruto's orbs widen. He did not face the doorframe, where Menma was probably standing all worried.

"Menma! Just wait a second!" Naruto used his shirt to wipe away the remains of his tears. He was not going to let his poor son witness any more tears. He had promised himself that. When he took a deep shaky breath, he turned around and swept the boy off his feet.

Menma squealed when his father lifted him up and threw him over his shoulder. Naruto knew his eyes still looked a bit swollen, so he would not let his boy see him just yet. "Wanna have some breakfast, honey?"

"Yeah!" Menma giggled, dangling his legs as he was carried to the kitchen. Naruto then carried his son princess-style before placing a soft kiss on his cheek. Menma smiled, but his expression quickly saddened when his father sat him on the table.

"What's wrong?" Naruto nuzzled his nose. Menma parted his small lips softly, then shrugged.

"I heard you screaming... to Sasuke. Where is he? Did he do something bad?"

Naruto relaxed his features, and sadness roamed his blue eyes. "No... Nothing like that. We were... uh... playing a... who can scream the loudest game!" He laughed it off.

Menma looked excited. "Can you play it with me too?" Naruto ruffled his short ebony hair.

"Silly boy. Now, what do you wanna eat?" The blonde hummed as he looked through the cupboards. He felt so ashamed for letting his anger get to him and start screaming while his baby boy was sleeping. He looked for some painkillers as he thought of how happy Menma made him.

Then he realized.

I know what price I wouldn't pay for a time machine.

My son.

NSNSNSNSNSNSNSNSNS

Sasuke slammed shut the door to his apartment and roughly kicked the first thing he saw, which happened to be a poor little vase. The shattering sound echoed through the dark silent apartment, and Sasuke found it harder to breath.

Why the hell did I tell him that?

Am I stupid?

How can I ever look that dobe in the eyes again?

He must be laughing his ass off now.

The boy locked the door to his bedroom and fell into the floor with his back facing it. His whole world was spinning as he buried his face in his knees and sobbed. He felt as if that conversation, or rather fight, had drained him from all energy.

It was hard facing reality. Sasuke ran his fingers through his hair and puffed his cheeks. He knew he had to get it together soon. He could not let his feelings take over like that. Now, that he finally let that secret out, he could begin putting the past behind him.

"Oh Naruto..." He whispered to himself, gazing up the white ceiling.

"Naruto..."

AN:

TBC!

Sorry if there are too many mistakes, I am quite sick and it was really hard concentrating when I wrote this!

Thanks for the faves and follows guys, it means a lot :)

The story is just beginning, there is a lot more to come!

Have a great day people :D

-YaoiKitty