Dolls is officially out of prison, but what's next in store? Boy band with Doc?
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Wynonna was extremely grateful that it was hard to be a backseat driver on a motorcycle, because if it wasn't she had a feeling that Dolls would be chewing her ass off right about now. She could feel his entire body tensing every time she took a turn; and, for the first time ever, she was glad he wasn't more muscular - lest her ribs get crushed from how tightly he was squeezing her waist.
She wasn't even going that fast, geez.
She carefully weaved in and out of traffic, slightly surprised that she remembered where she was going. When Charlie had went over the map with her beforehand, she hadn't really been paying great attention, and it wasn't like she was that great at maps anyway. Maybe this whole 'sober' thing was good for something after all.
It didn't take long for her to find the alleyway where Doc had parked the box truck, and she steered the bike up the ramp and killed the engine.
"Come on whiney baby, let's get inside the cabin with Doc."
She jumped down and slid the ramp up inside the truck.
"Go on, I'll be just a second." Dolls' entire body was tense, and something told her it wasn't just from the ride over here.
She rolled her eyes.
"Sure, whatever, just make it snappy, ok? My sister's still possessed, after all."
"Two seconds, I promise."
She glared at him one last time before she rounded the side of the truck and opened the passenger door, heaving herself inside.
"Wynonna? Were you unable to free Agent Dolls from the the government prison he was held captive in?"
Doc looked at her worriedly, his mustache twitching.
"No, he's back there, he just 'needed a minute', whatever that means."
"Ah." realization dawned on his face and she waited for him to elaborate, but he remained silent.
"Alright, I guess I should call Nicole, let her know we're ok."
"I'm sure Officer Haught would be grateful to know that you're still alive, no doubt she is worried sick after that speech you gave her last time you spoke."
"Let's just hope she has some good news about Waverly."
She speed dialed the officer, quickly becoming antsy when Nicole didn't answer immediately.
"Shit, she's not answering."
Her leg began to bounce up and down and she chewed at her cuticles.
"This is Officer Nicole Haught, Purgatory Sheriff's Department, please leave your name and number after the beep and I'll get back with you."
The electronic beep sounded like a chime of doom and Wynonna sighed.
"Hey, Haught-pants, hope you have a good reason for not answering your phone. And I certainly hope that my sister hasn't killed you, or a demon hasn't possessed you, or - point is, I can think of a lot of bad reasons why you wouldn't be answering my call, and I hope you and Waverly are alright. Give me a call back when you get this. Oh and I broke Dolls out of of government prison. Kind of. It's a long story, I'll tell you when we get home. Please be ok, ok? I'll see you in like 7 hours."
She hit the end call button and resisted the urge to throw her phone in frustration. The passenger side door opened and Dolls appeared, motioning her to scoot over.
"Scoot, Earp."
He had taken off his dress shirt, and instead he was wearing only white tank top, muscles rippling in the midday sun.
Jesus Christ.
He also looked decidedly less stressed, and for that she was thankful.
"Doc," Dolls leaned over Wynonna to offer his hand to the cowboy. "Thanks for coming to get me."
"It was Wynonna who did most of the work - credit where credit is due."
"Still, thank you."
Doc tipped his hat. "My pleasure. Now is there a reason, that we are suddenly not in a rush to escape?"
"They let us go." Dolls said as if it were a simple answer.
"Pfft!" Wynonna pulled her legs up to rest her feet on the dashboard in front of Dolls as Doc started up the truck. "Let us go? Let us go? They didn't let us go."
Dolls eyed her boots woth disdain.
"Uh, yeah they did. They pretty much said - 'there's the door, bye'."
"They did not! That's not how it- liar! Youre such a liar! I do something cool and badass and you can't even back me up!"
"Ok, ok, I misspoke. Wynonna here staged a magnificent rescue, and even if they hadn't let us go, we probably would have escaped."
She huffed.
"I mean, it's not perfect, but I guess I'll take it."
The truck lurched to a stop, coming within a hairsbreadth of the car in front of them.
"Should we really be letting him drive?" Dolls asked through gritted teeth.
"Nah, he's gotta learn sometime, besides; he has a lot to make up for, so I'm sure he'll drive fast to save Waverly."
"What does he have to make up for?"
"He shot Waverly."
Dolls leaned over Wynonna's legs to glare at Doc.
"You shot Waverly?"
Doc looked over at that, his mustachioed face twisted in confusion.
"Why, I had no choice! She was obviously possessed by some sort of demon, and undoubtedly about to cause us great harm! I had no other choice! I'm sure you would have done the same, Agent Dolls, under similar circumstances."
"Red light!" Wynonna and Dolls screeched in unison, bracing themselves for impact. Doc stopped just in time, narrowly avoiding the taxi that sped through the intersection in front of them.
"See, riding with Doc is just like riding in a New York taxi, only surprisingly less smelly."
Dolls gave her one of his patented glares before crossing his arms and relaxing into his seat.
Thankfully, they made it out of the main city an onto the highway before anyone got a case of whiplash, and Doc turned up the radio - old country western blaring through the truck's shitty speakers.
"Oh god, no, anything but this." She pleaded, ears humming from the racket.
"Some old ranch hands used to listen to this in the field near the well where I was trapped. It is excellent music, the lyrics tell a wonderful story." Doc adjusted his hat thoughtfully
"Yeah, Wynonna, don't you like a little old school country? Conway? Loretta?" Dolls' voice was teasing.
"Umm no, can't we listen to some Kesha? Or Lady Gaga?"
"Nope, I think the vote is two to one! Country it is!"
She opened her mouth to protest, but Dolls reached for the volume knob, drowning her out.
God, she needed a drink.
Two hours later, and Doc and Dolls were two steps away from forming a cover band.
A horrible cover band that no one would listen to and would probably get you kicked out of your own mother's garage , but they seemed enthusiastic about it, nonetheless.
If you see me comin', better step aside
A lotta men didn't, a lotta men died
One fist of iron, the other of steel
If the right one don't a-get you, then the left one will
You load sixteen tons, what do you get?
Another day older and deeper in debt
Saint Peter, don't you call me 'cause I can't go
I owe my soul to the company store.
She couldn't even say that their voices blended together, it was more like screeched simultaneously. As soon as the song tapered to an end, she twisted the knob counter clockwise as fast as it would go, casting the cabin into silence.
"Hey!"
She had never seen them so united.
"Yeah, sorry, I gotta pee."
"Just as well, it appears that our automobile could use some fuel." Doc squinted at the gauges on the dashboard.
"There's a gas station next exit." Dolls offered.
"Perfect."
They made it to a pump with surprisingly little difficulty, and Wynonna waited rather impatiently for Doc to get out and let her by.
She practically ran to the less than sanitary bathroom, squatting awkwardly over the seat as she took care of business. She washed her hands quickly, careful to avoid any unnecessary splashing, and used what was left of her disintegrating aper towel to open the door.
She may not be a neat freak, but she still had standards. If she was going to catch some weird disease, it certainly wasn't going to be from some shitty ass bathroom in the middle of nowhere.
She glanced out the front window's of the store to see Doc and Dolls laughing it up as they pumped.
Geez.
Who the fuck decided they could be friends.
She rolled her eyes and headed to the self proclaimed 'Beer Cave'. After scanning the shelves, she grabbed a forty of Miller and turned to the register only to turn back and grab another one too, because hey, they had a long trip in front of them.
By the time she made it back to the truck, Dolls was settled in the driver's seat, and Doc was holding open the passenger door for her.
"What the hell is that?" Dolls demanded.
"Ummm, this is 5.9% alcohol by volume malt liquor." She held it up Vanna White style. "Wrapped conveniently in a brown paper bag."
"We're in a car."
"What? I'm not driving!" She twisted the cap off of her first bottle and took a long swig. "Besides, every drink I take ups your chances of surviving this trip by like 10%."
"Fine, just don't spill it. I'd rather not get pulled over smelling like a brewery."
"Spill? Alcohol? Psshh, you obviously don't know me, at all."
She fell asleep asleep sometime after she finished the second forty, right around the time the magnificent duo began crooning 'Ring of Fire.'
Did she feel bad for drinking when Waverly desperately needed her help?
A little, but she was going to be sober again by the time they reached Purgatory anyway, and besides, the alcohol helped her sleep.
When she woke up four hours later, she immediately wished she had more alcohol.
How were these two not hoarse yet?
"Hate to break up the party guys, but maybe we should come up with a plan."
"Ah yes, to exorcize our dear Waverly." Doc turned the radio volume down and her ears were eternally grateful.
"I'm really hoping you have some sort of Black Badge top secret book of demon exorcism spells somewhere, Dolls."
Dolls' arm muscles tensed as his fingers curled tightly around the steering wheel.
"There are . . . several exorcism spells."
Her heart dropped at the hesitation in his voice.
"But?"
He looked over at her, pain written in his brown eyes.
"They aren't always successful."
"What do you mean they aren't always successful?!"
He glanced between her and the road.
"Waverly's a strong girl. I'm sure it'll work."
He pulled into Sheriff's department parking lot and they clambered out of the truck, moving as quickly as their stiff joints and muscles allowed.
"Nicole!" Wynonna called out as soon as they were inside. Nedley stuck his head out of his office.
"If you're looking for Haught and Waverly, they left here about two hours ago; think they were headed out to the Homestead. Your Aunt was with 'em too."
"Aarghh!" Wynonna stomped her boot, shivering at the senseless tingling that made its way up her leg.
Dolls held up a finger.
"Hold up], gotta grab a few things." He jogged back to the Black Badge office, only to return moments later with a black backpack slung over his shoulder.
"Alright, I think I have everything."
Nedley eyed them suspiciously.
"Anything going on I should now about?"
"Nah," She waved a hand as nonchalantly as possible. "Just Earp stuff."
"That's exactly what I'm worried about."
She chose to pretend like she didn't hear his muttering, and limped back to the truck, Doc and Dolls in tow.
"I'm driving this time!" she declared, hopping into the driver's seat. Doc shrugged and slid over to sit in the middle, leaving the passenger seat for Dolls.
They did NOT listen to country on the ride to the Homestead, opting instead for an uncomfortable radio silence, broken only by the grunts and squeaks of the truck as Wynonna drove it a little too roughly over the bumps and curves.
The delivery truck skidded to a stop behind Gus's pickup, which was parked awkwardly in the middle of the driveway. She jumped out before the engine had fully died, eyes scanning for any sign of her sister.
Three figures were huddled around one of the deserted fence posts, right across from -
"Is that Santa?!"
"Wynonna!"
She quickly recognized the figure on the ground as Waverly, and the two huddled around her as Gus and Nicole. She jogged over, eyes widening as she saw Nicole's cat meandering around in the snow. She felt like Nicole had told her about some sort of crazy plan, but surely she would have remembered if it involved a cat and Gus' creepy santa figure.
"Wynonna!" Nicole and Waverly were both screaming at her now, their voices carrying in the odd wind that whipped around them.
"Wynonna! Shoot the Santa! Shoot him with Peacemaker!"
"Shoot Santa?!" She glanced at the figure, its glowing red eyes stopping her dead in her tracks.
"Whoa!" She did not remember Santa being that creepy.
A black, malicious looking shadow began to separate itself from the figure as she fumbled for Peacemaker. Her finger curled around the trigger, and the boom of the shot rang out as she watched the bullet melt through the wax of Santa's forehead. The telltale flaming pit opened up, sucking the demonic Christmas decoration into hell.
''What the hell was that?"
"Nicole exorcised the demon and put it into the Santa figure, it's a long story." Waverly's voice was wobbly with exhaustion and Wynonna dropped to her knees by her baby sister, hands coming up to frame Waverly's cheeks.
"You okay, Babygirl?"
"Thanks to Nicole, yes."
She looked up at the officer and saw that her brown eyes were heavy with darkness they'd seen. She pulled the taller woman into a hug.
"Thanks, for saving my baby sister."
Nicole's hands came up to pat her back awkwardly.
"Hey, does this mean I don't get the 'If you fuck up, I'll shoot you with my big ass gun' speech anymore?"
"Oh no, you're definitely getting it. Just later, when I've had food and can be more threatening."
"Wynonna, quit squeezing her! She just got shot for pete's sake!" Waverly protested.
"Right, sorry." She pulled back and straightened the lapels on Nicole's uniform, embarrassed at her sudden show of affection. She swiped at the tears on her cheeks.
"Alright, guys, give me a minute with Waverly okay?" Dolls' request was gentle, but she could see Nicole's heckles rise.
"What for?"
Dolls held up his hands defensively.
"I just want to check and make sure everything is clear, demon possession can leave some nasty after affects."
She didn't like it, but she understood it, and she gently pulled Nicole towards where Doc was standing a few yards away.
"I'm gonna go get a fire started inside, wouldn't want Waverly to catch a cold after all this." Gus offered, walking off in the direction of the Homestead before anyone could reply.
Nicole's eyes never left Waverly as Dolls shone a light in each eye and then proceeded to ask questions in a hushed voice.
God, how did she not see how smitten these two were earlier? She shook her head. She could be so oblivious sometimes.
A few tense minutes passed before Dolls waved them over.
"Everything checks out, I don't know how you did it, Haught, but you did. Maybe you're a better fit for Black Badge than I thought."
Nicole smiled tiredly before bending down to scoop Waverly up in her arms.
"Nic, I'm so tired."
"I know, Wave, I know. Let's get you to bed."
"Don't leave me."
"I'm not going anywhere. I promise." Nicole leaned to kiss Waverly's forehead before marching towards the homestead.
Wynonna watched them from a distance, a smile settling on her face.
She might still have a shit ton of Revenants to send to hell, but at least she had her sister back.
And in her book, that counted for a lot.
Not sure how I feel about this one guys, it feels choppy - let me know what you think.