Previously…
Maybe, just maybe, he might have got too excited about the chance to take his Rose to this particular planet… One which was bound to be destroyed in a couple of years, by a fair-haired creature, as a matter of fact… But that was not the point. Historical facts were not what mattered.
Rose was staring at him, wide-eyed. Doctor! We have not… You have not… Then where does this weird feeling of belonging come from?
Persistence
Chapter Ten
The Doctor seemed to be just as surprised. Then, he realised his mistake.
"Oh…"
"So?"
"I was not precise enough with my request, it appears," he admitted, uncomfortable. "Did not take into consideration just how strong it was going to be, with the credit provided being-" "Sorry. I am so sorry!"
"I get that. Just tell me how long it is going to last. A week?"
He shook his head.
"A month? Two months?"
Horror on his face seemed to have only grown in intensity. "No."
"Longer?"
Damn it. "Yes."
Rose exhaled. "Will I at least get a proper answer from you, you-" Traitor. Coward. Time Lord.
"Why, yes. Human." The Doctor felt he had the right to bite at her just as well. Do you think I wanted this?
You did, the girl exhaled. That much was obvious for her. "Undo it, if you so fancy. It would be better for me to live with someone who does not regret the steps he took."
Unintentionally, Rose Tyler has hit him straight to the point.
Oh, Rose. She was right. Always, so right. "Okay. Assuming undoing this were possible, Rose Tyler… Wouldn't it hurt you more, considering-"
She almost hissed at him in frustration. "Oh, really? Since when do you have the right to judge what is better for me? Since the moment you realised I have ignored your stupid – or should I say, genius - decision to leave me behind? Since the moment I have opened my mind for you? Do you think this has made me vulnerable? Has made it possible to model me according to your wishes?!" She exhaled. "No. Not even when you have apparently done something unforgivable. Bound me to yourself for- who cares, Time Lord. If this is all you can do, taking all these intruding steps without asking me first… I feel sorry for you." With these words, she went out of the room.
The Doctor simply stared after her, long after Rose has left him alone. I'm sorry.
No response.
That was just about what he deserved, the Time Lord understood. The price he had to pay.
Do you know, Rose, that making you mine has indeed been a part of my wildest dreams?
He believed to have heard Rose's breath hitch at his words, wherever she was. The TARDIS was a world of her own, sometimes of indescribable proportions.
The Doctor continued, trying to imprint as much honesty in his admission as possible. I have been ready to give you everything you pleased, remember?
But most of all, Rose, I wanted the impossible. To have you by my side forever.
A heart-wrenching sound, one resembling a sob, has reached him then.
The Time Lord could feel her shock piercing him through – that was a thing he chose to consider later - but it was a now or never moment. Do you know why, after having entered your mind, I freaked out?
He did not wait for any sort of reaction. Because I understood it was already too late. Too late to try and shoo you away from this dangerous life. Now, your life is my responsibility, Rose.
The Doctor might have expected a slap for this alone. At least that would mean some contact.
Rose arrived to him soon enough, her words barely above a whisper. "Or do you mean my forever is your responsibility?"
Her words bore no anger in them. No recognisable emotion. "You could have said. Or were you afraid I would object to spending forever with you?"
The Doctor noticed how she has self-consciously missed one tiny word in her phrasing, but said nothing.
I am here. Granting you the impossible. There he stood, gaping at her. It was always a possibility. With some help from the TARDIS and from those from a distant planet, but-
Rose watched him with mistrust, then shrugged. If she had to be the one getting the Doctor to talk, so be it. I wouldn't mind another cuppa. Want one?
He nodded, without looking her in the eye. Could something so important be done with so little effort? The Doctor could not help but doubted it.
"I am not going to give you any questions. Not one. Not until you feel like talking to me, Doctor."
Could you-
Sometimes, however rarely that happened, the Doctor felt the unnecessary sharpness of human speech cutting him, his native tongue feeling much more smooth and welcome. Either that or telepathic communication.
She understood. Of course.
A mouthed thanks was acknowledged with a nod, and that was the last he saw of her for more than three hours. The Doctor knew his companion could be forgetful, but when it came to tea – never.
Rose? Is everything all right? His feet were carrying him to where the girl was waiting for him, according to the TARDIS. He found her in the farthest corner of the library, one he must not have visited for years.
Three hours, two minutes, forty-three seconds.
He blinked. Really?
What startled him more was the pile of books placed neatly on the floor. Some of them were supposed to take humans days to finish, let alone understand their hidden meanings. At least, they were in English. In English! No, this couldn't last time he saw them, they were-
Rose followed his look wordlessly. The surprise, shock and dread on his face were easy to identify.
First, a cuppa? She offered.. Instead of being mad at him, the girl chose a different approach.
He agreed, glad the tea was just as he liked it. But the Doctor could only swallow one gulp, his emotions getting hold of him. How could you- The TARDIS would never-
Several hours. All this information. Is this what worries you?
A dreadful realisation hit him. She looked just as he remembered her. A shade paler, perhaps, but so was he, when- His hand went up to her forehead.
"Are you sure you are all right, Rose?" Telepathy was suddenly the last thing on his mind.
A cuppa is all I need, she assured him. There is nothing better than that when dealing with- how do you call it? Anyway, you should know, Doctor.
It took him minutes to fight off the disbelief. Suddenly, the books made sense. The empty hours made sense.
"You should have called me, Rose! I would have come! Would have helped!" The Doctor was hurt. He was the closest person left to her, and she-
"I tried. I screamed and I swore, then I begged… She said- you know what I mean- said- It's for the better, she said-" The way Rose's voice was breaking at the memory was all it took for the Doctor to sit down beside her and make the tender closeness envelop them both.
"However have you made her provide you with the English translations?" It had to be the Doctor ruining the promising atmosphere. "She doesn't translate Gallifreyan."
For me, she does, Rose smiled at him fondly. "We are closer ever since-"
"She's translated everything?"
"Just those she thought I needed to read, silly," she spoke tiredly." Thank you, by the way, Doctor." For being here with me.
Rose was exhausted, he could see that. Once she was awake after the well-deserved deep sleep, the connection between them was going to kick in.
But first of all, he was going to have a serious talk with his ship, now conveniently quiet.