Chapter 8:

A Beautiful Lie

Len has always known that Jim had her secrets. That was part of her mystery, though to outsiders the blonde seemed to wear her heart on her sleeve and her face an open book.

Jim went down deeper than that. Everything about her person was layered. She kept everything locked away, behind a mask that sank into her skin like ink. It had taken a full semester to get her to confide in him, and even then he wondered if she was telling the truth.

You couldn't tell with Jim, the woman who told lies as easy as breathing.

Like now, with her hair as bright as gold and a fond smile was she stares at him while munching on an apple, she seemed to be fine. Better than fine even, Jim had the glow of a woman in love.

"Is there something on my face?" Jim asks.

"Don't talk while you're eating."

"Yes, Mommy Bones." She rolls her eyes, swallowing a bite of apple.

"Do you ever think about what you would do if you weren't captain of the Enterprise?"

It wasn't a personal question. Len had asked it a thousand times, only in different ways.

Jim huffs and quickly devours the rest of her apple before answering. He already knows what she'll say, so why bother asking again? Something had to be wrong.

"Well, I'll still be going from planet to planet, maybe get arrested a few times, just living I guess." Jim shrugs. "I won't even want to join Starfleet."

Len understands. Captaining the Enterprise is Jim's first, best destiny.

Jim starts on a cheeseburger, it's one of her guilty pleasure foods that didn't cause an allergic reaction. Len swears if not for all the running around she does on missions, she would've have gained ten pounds by the end of the year.

"You should have a salad." Len gestures to his own lunch.

"I'm not a rabbit. I don't do salad." Jim retorts.

Catching Len's dark look, she scoffs. "Like you don't want to have a cheeseburger once in awhile, Bones."

"You eat one every chance you get, kid. They're gonna kill you one day."

Jim polishes off her cheeseburger, she's always been a quick eater and never leaves anything behind. "You do know that the medbay stocks cholesterol-dissolving hypos, right?"

"That you're allergic to?"

"Still, it's better than that replicated stuff you're having." Jim pokes his salad with a finger. "Fake vegetables, it's even worse than the things they have at the academy cafeteria."

"Don't get me started." Len twists his mouth into a scowl. Jim grins. This was how they had bonded, bitching about bad food and sadistic professors.

"It's hard getting used to a monogamous relationship."

"When you've slept with every alien under the sun maybe." Len says.

They are familiar with the sounds of comfortable talking and laughs in the cafeteria and lets it fill the silence between them.

And Jim wasn't avoiding him when she slips off to her quarters to call Tommy. She really wasn't.

Jim looks at the sketch. The eyes were amazingly detailed and the lashes luscious, but there was no emotion behind them. It was like looking at a flat surface, nothing like Bones' hazel or Tommy's chartreuse.

And they were grey, which made matters even worse, because grey was the hardest colour to put life in. It was just so grey.

There were no other features, just those feminine eyes staring up from the paper of Jim's sketchbook.

She couldn't possibly go through the database with those eyes alone. Jim wouldn't be able to find a match.

She goes through the security videos, looking for a trail. It was difficult, she didn't have any memory of what the woman had been wearing, or what colour her hair was. Just those grey, colourless eyes.

Jim hadn't told Bones about her suspicions yet.

So she calls Tommy. He's working on a starbase above the planet Q. Jim has no idea why they would name a planet with a single letter, it was just so drab. It reminded her of the long running James Bond comedies. Of course, she's in no position to complain, she once named a goldfish Whiskers.

"Hey."

"Hey."

"Tommy, I have a question."

Her boyfriend smiles, Jim was very cute when she frowned. "What do you need?"

"Do you remember anything about the woman I bumped into when we were tangoing?"

"There were her eyes." Tommy recalls the shade of grey, so pale it made her irises seem white. "And there was something on her hand."

Jim presses on. "What did it look like?"

"I don't really remember what but her dress was purple." Tommy explains. "It wasn't like yours, it had a lot of swirls."

Her blue eyes light up, she could trace all guests that wore purple that night. That should be easier.

"Thanks."

"So, how's it going on the Enterprise?"

Jim beams with pride as she tells Tommy of all the things she had done on the ship since her recovery. Missions and pranks on Spock.

"He's so rigid sometimes, Captain this and Captain that. It's like he has a permanent stick up his ass."

"Commander Spock is a Vulcan and your XO. He's supposed to be serious."

"The only emotion I've got out of him so far is the 'fascinating' he said when he showed me TUS-577."

"The new breed of parasite they found in you."

"It wasn't exactly new, I prefer to think of it as an extension of something we already know."

"Aren't you the least bit curious about it?"

"I'm looking into it." Jim replies crisply.

"Have you tried telling anyone else?"

"I don't need anyone else. I'm telling you, aren't I?"

There is a period of silence, where Jim averts her gaze to stare at the statement painting of a blue stripe on her wall.

"Admiral Komack says I shouldn't be so reckless, but what does he know?"

"Well, he has one more medal of honour than you do."

Jim rolls her eyes, she seemed to be doing it a lot lately. "I'm not that reckless. He thinks I'll drive the Enterprise into a nebula and endanger my crew. I don't. Bad things just tend to happen to me."

"Bad luck, Jimmy." Tommy chuckles. "You've got luck, but it takes more than that to be a captain."

"You sound like Pike. He's always telling me to get myself together." Jim snorts. "I've got my whole life running smoothly."

"Smooth as silk." Tommy agrees. "You've got a chip on your shoulder, sweetheart."

That's what he always calls her. Sweetheart. And Jim likes it, those little things that show his affection. Bones called her darling and she always called everyone honey. It just slips off her tongue.

"Tell me something I don't know."

"I'm in love with you." He says with all seriousness.

Jim certainly didn't know that. She thought love would come along after getting together, but they hadn't even had sex yet and Tommy loved her.

She finds something to say. "I guess I like you too."

He sighs. Jim's still not willing to open up. "Take your time."

"Bones?" Jim enters the medbay, a troubled look on her face.

"Is something wrong?" He immediately leads her into his office after noting the gleam in her eyes.

She sits down. "What do you say when someone tells you he loves you?"

That moment had reminded her strongly of Galia, back at the academy, when the Orion girl told her she loved her. Jim had clammed up and she has regretted it ever since.

The doctor crosses his arms and lets out a world weary sigh. "Did Tommy say that?"

Jim nods.

"Well what did you say, Jim?"

Jim buries her head in her hands. "I said that I liked him. God, I'm a disaster."

Bones had seen Jim flirt before and she wasn't a disaster at relationships. Keeping relationships maybe, but this was Jim. Sex goddess and the prettiest girl on the ship. She probably wasn't used to it.

"Well do you feel anything for him?"

"Yes." Her voice is strained. "I mean, he's my boyfriend so I have to at least feel something for him, but what we have is-"

That narrows it down to commitment problems. Bones knew exactly how to advise her.

"-something you want to keep, but you don't know how to tell him you don't want to go too fast." He finishes.

Jim nods gratefully. "Relationships are something to be savoured, I don't want to jump straight to love after one month."

"If he loves you, or at least he says he does, he's telling the truth. I know Leighton, Jim, he's decent."

"I know." Now, Jim looks close to tearing her hair out in frustration.

"Have you seen each other since the parasite incident?"

"No."

"Have you been on a proper date before? And no, that ball and the visits don't count."

"No."

"Then you should schedule shore leave at Cygnia Minor."

"To get him to come to me?" Jim scoffs.

"Or you could go to him."

She shakes her head, and starts to twirl her cane around. It's becoming a habit for her, especially after she had worn out its use. "That would be a real disaster, Bones. I never ask men out, it's too blah."

"You've no trouble getting men into bed. There is something to do before that, which is called a date."

"I pick up strangers at bars so they don't count. That's foreplay. But this is Tommy." Jim says. "And I want something more."

"Do something romantic. You'll figure it out, being a genius and all." Bones says curtly. Sometimes Jim was as thick as the entire works of Dickens in big print. "Now get out, I have some more important things to do."

"More important than my relationship woes?"

"Dying people." Bones shoves her out of the medbay. "Have a higher priority in the sickbay."

"There's only Hullett from engineering with a sprained ankle." Jim points to the grimacing young man. "He's being treated by Christine, apparently it's non-threatening."

"Don't you have a ship to captain?" Bones snips, grabbing her cane. "And you don't need this anymore."

Jim acquiesces and turns her pleading blue eyes onto his. "I really need your advice. I've never done this before."

"Look, kid. You've hidden your emotions long enough, and he says he loves you already. You just have to answer."

"I love you too." Jim says quickly and inhales deeply. "Did that sound alright?"

It could've been slower and she could make it sound more genuine. Jim was nervous and it's the first time since Bones had seen her worked up over a relationship.

She tries again and a look of total adoration comes onto her face. "I love you too."

"I love you. Oh, I love you! I love you so much honey-" She grabs Bones' arm and stares up at him with those glittering eyes. Had they ever looked so blue before? "It makes my fingers hurt."

She's a good actress, that's for sure. Jim nimbly steps away from him after that moment.

Bones shrugs and crosses his arms, trying to school his face into a neutral expression "You'll be fine with that."

Jim leaves without another word. Just a lascivious wink at Hullett and Chapel. She'll talk to him later.

Author's Note:

Very very quick update. If you didn't know, the beautiful lie is the one Jim's going to tell to Tommy that she loves him, but she doesn't (?). I'm building up tension (if not, I think I'm building up something.) I don't know and I'm the author.

Anyway, thanks for reading and please leave a review so I can improve on this story. I really need new ways to describe Jim's eyes.;)