CHAPTER 10: GATHER COURAGE, IF YOU'RE DOING SOMETHING, DO IT 'CAUSE SHE GOT TO GO SOON
Night Five
Beca stopped. Her whole body stopped. Her left hand was suspended in the air, reaching for the door knob to the guesthouse. It had taken her the whole day to get to this point. The entire day and now here she was again, motionless. That's how it had started. She stood frozen in the dining room. Listening to everyone until she heard Amy say that people knew about her. About her parents. About the money. They didn't even know who she really was and yet millions of people all over the world were making judgments about who they thought she was. The thought of that was completely overwhelming to Beca. She'd spent all of her life trying to hide from people. Shying away from attention. Staying in her room as a child and learning to mix music. Singing in the dark where no one could hear her. Cooking for people to make them happy but doing it in the safety of the kitchen. Relishing the feeling of being behind the scenes. Running from New York when her parents died because people would know she was the daughter of James and Olivia Mitchell. Convincing her best friend to run away with her to a tourist hotspot where people came and left and didn't think twice about the people they met for a few days. Hiding in a dark DJ booth playing music, watching it bring joy to other people. And now, that anonymity was gone. Her photo was on the internet. With her name. Where she lived. Where she worked. Who her parents were. How they died. What she inherited. And the famous actress she was now linked to.
It was three hours after Chloe had left the house. After the plan was already being set in motion by both their groups of friends. Three hours she sat looking over the ocean from the second floor of the mansion she owned. Three hours until her best friend found her and told her what a complete fool she was. What a fool she was for not taking a chance. What a fool she was for running from someone like Chloe. For not even giving it a chance. What could it hurt? He said. So it doesn't work out and you come back home … back here, he said. But what if it does Beca? He said. Then it took another 5 hours of her walking along the beach, trying not to think of the number of photographs that were probably being taken of her. Five hours of walking and sitting and thinking. Then another 2 hours of psyching herself up to speak to Chloe for the first time all day. Psyching herself up to see her and be alone with her since she'd told her it wouldn't work that morning. Since the actress excused herself to the restroom to dry her own tears. Tears, Beca's words made happen. Words that came out of her mouth that made Chloe so sad her eye's watered and tears began to flow from the most beautiful shade of blue she'd ever seen.
Beca grabbed the door knob in her left hand and turned it to the right. The house was dark and she hadn't seen Chloe all day but she knew the redhead was in there. She hadn't come out and what Beca had gathered back at the house before she worked up the nerve to return to the guesthouse, Chloe hadn't spoken much to anyone. Hadn't eaten. Hadn't done anything. Just hid. The exact thing she remembered Chloe tell her that very morning that she didn't want to do. She pushed the door closed softly behind her and proceeded into the house. Not speaking or calling out for Chloe, but just looking for her. She wasn't in the living room and she wasn't in the kitchen or sitting outside so Beca made her way down the hallway. Tuck laid on the floor outside of Chloe's room with his head on his paws. Beca bent down and scratched his head gently knowing that he probably had sat there all day too, just watching over the actress. Beca stood and took a small step towards Chloe's room, her foot landing on the squeaky board alerting Chloe that someone else was in the house but the redhead didn't move. She sat on the edge of the bed with her back to the door, looking at a picture hung on Benji's wall. It was an old crappy painting of the beach. Beca remembered the day that Benji had brought it over to the guesthouse. He'd told her that he was always busy hosting, he never got to sit and look at the beach but now he could. Chloe sat facing that shitty picture when paradise was just outside the doors. A stone's throw away and she couldn't go. Beca's chest tightened at the thought of not being able to escape who you are. Not being able to run.
"Just tell me what you want me to do Bree." Chloe rasped. Her voice weak from not speaking all day.
"It's me" Beca announced softly. She watched Chloe react to her voice. Watched her posture straighten up. Watched her sit rigidly on the edge of the bed, but not turn around. Beca thought that may have been better for what she was coming to say. Easier for her maybe. Beca took a steadying breath as Jesse's words ran through her head again. "I" Beca said but stopped suddenly. She watched Chloe's posture fall, her back round and her head drop. Beca pushed through her own insecurities and fears, "I'm sorry for earlier today."
Chloe's head rose slowly and she turned, looking over her shoulder towards the chef who stood in the doorway of the room.
"I freaked out and well … checked out for a while." Beca said with a slight smile. "Thank you for pulling me away so I could collect myself."
Chloe nodded gently unsure if Beca was done speaking or if she had more to say.
Beca took a hesitant step into the room. "I don't know exactly what to say to you." Beca admitted. "This is" Beca's arms motioned largely around the room as she referred to the situation and she hoped it came across that way to the redhead. "is so surreal. All of this."
Chloe could feel herself frowning. It wasn't her natural expression and it felt awkward yet she'd caught herself doing it most of the day. She drew her lips up, preparing herself for the rejection she was sure Beca was going to give her again.
"I can't imagine what your life is like on a daily basis." Beca said as she stopped after only a couple of steps into Chloe's room. "The last 24 hours has been crazy … stressful, and everything I never wanted my life to be." Beca admitted. She could see Chloe's face harden. She could see the beautiful woman brace herself for Beca's words. "I don't know how you do this. How you live like this."
Chloe shook her head. "This is not me." She replied softly knowing that Beca had more to say. "All of this" she mimicked Beca's previous motion, "Isn't really real."
"Not real?" Beca asked in disbelief. "How can you say that? I'm standing right here and I've been here all day listening to everyone plan your escape. Whether you want to admit it or not Chloe, all of this is really happening and you sitting in here all day, shutting yourself off from it, doesn't make it any less real. You know that right?" This was not the conversation Beca thought she'd be having but she couldn't believe Chloe was this delusional.
"Right Beca" Chloe said as she stood from the bed, her legs a little wobbly from not having stood up in a while. "Like you have any right to say that to me."
"What does that mean?" Beca questioned loudly.
Chloe hands rose slightly and then slapped down against the sides of her legs, "You run from everything. You never stick around to let anything get too hard."
Beca remained poised. Her face stoic.
"Why would this be any different?" Chloe questioned. She closed her eyes slowly and released a breath, calming herself. She opened her eyes and immediately looked up at the ceiling to fight the tears that threatened to form. "You already made yourself abundantly clear this morning." The sadness in her voice was thick. "I don't need you to try and make me feel better. I can handle it. I'm a big girl."
"Chloe?" Aubrey's voice rang through the house. "Honey?"
"In here" Chloe called back as she made eye contact with Beca.
Less than a minute later and Aubrey was rounding the corner and walking into her room. "So here's what" The blonde lawyer stopped. "Oh. Beca. I didn't think you'd be here."
"What are we doing?" Chloe asked quickly.
Beca raised her eyebrows at Aubrey quickly and turned around. She left the room and crossed the hall closing her bedroom door as soon as she was in the safety of her solitude.
Aubrey watched Beca walk away and watched her door close before turning back to Chloe. "We are getting you out of here."
"You mean we are getting out of here?" Chloe asked confused by Aubrey's singular word choice.
"No honey. Just you. CR, Stacie and Jess and I are going to stay back for the remainder of the trip. Then we are going to fly home to LA and work on this Luke issue."
"Why?" Chloe asked quietly. "Why can't you guys come with me? Or why can't I just go home with you?"
"I'm sorry Chlo but for lack of a better word, you're being held hostage here." Aubrey walked up to her friend and put her hand gently on Chloe's shoulder. "And we know you hate that. You hate this."
Chloe nodded. She did hate it.
"And it's not fair. So we think that once you're gone and the rest of us girls carry on with this vacation, they can take all the photos of us without you … we think they will get the hint that you left. Plus we're not going to hide the fact that you're leaving."
"What?" Chloe questioned.
"Jesse's gonna drive you to a private airport. You'll drive right past all the photographers." Aubrey shrugged. "I mean it's gonna be at like three in the morning so we don't think there will be that many people out there but there will definitely be enough to have a couple of pictures taken of you in the SUV."
Chloe nodded, "Where am I going?"
Aubrey laughed to herself. "Lily has a safe house."
"Really?" Chloe questioned skeptically. "Are you sure it's not Beca's?"
"Beca's?" Aubrey repeated.
"Everything else around here seems to be hers." Chloe spat.
Aubrey wasn't sure what she walked in on but she knew it wasn't in Chloe's nature to be snarky. It was obvious that their talk didn't go well but decided to ignore it and answer Chloe's question honestly. "No. It's not Beca's house. She was as surprised to learn about it as Amy was. But" Aubrey paused, "we are using her plane."
Chloe recoiled and was about to refuse but Aubrey beat her to it, "No. We are. It's done Chloe."
Aubrey watched the thought settle in over her friend before she continued. "You're going to fly to Jackson Hole Wyoming and from there a car will pick you up and drive you to Billings Montana. Lily has a house on 72 acres. It's completely secluded. No one will know you're there except for us." Aubrey said as she soothingly ran her arms down Chloe's arms.
"72 acres?" Chloe questioned. "That's kind of odd isn't it?"
"Everything about that girl is odd." Aubrey replied honestly as Chloe shook her head in agreement.
"But I'll be all alone." Chloe whispered. "You guys will be here or in LA and I'll be there for" She rolled her eyes back in her head, "God knows how long."
Aubrey cocked her head to the side. "Sweetie." She said softly. "It's only going to be for a week. Two tops. I promise." Aubrey said assuredly. "CR thinks this will blow over and then you can come back to LA."
Chloe's eyes dropped to the floor.
"It's either that or stay here for a couple more days. We all go back to LA together and then you're hounded by the paparazzi. LA is the worst place for you to be right now. You'll be a prisoner in your own home." Aubrey answered. "Or go to Montana and let this blow over. Let CR and I work on this and then come back when it's died down." She let Chloe think it over.
The actress nodded, "okay. I'll go." She said looking up to Aubrey, "to Montana."
"Good" Aubrey said as she pulled the redhead against her, hugging her tightly. "It's like 10:15 so, you have a few hours. Take a shower and pack." Aubrey winced.
"What?" Chloe asked nervously.
"So, even though it's April, the high in Montana is like 60 degrees." Aubrey said with a grimace.
"What?" Chloe asked. "I have shorts and dresses and bikini's Bree."
"I know. We're working on that but Lily says the house will have everything you'll need." Aubrey said quickly. "Just shower … eat, have you eaten?" Aubrey asked.
Chloe shook her head, "No."
"I'll go get you something from next door. I think Jesse was going out for a food run." Aubrey smiled. "Do you need anything else? I'm sure the girls won't mind coming back to help you pack."
"I don't need anything. I can manage." Chloe said sadly.
"How about this. You shower and pack. Then come back to the house and we'll all have dinner together okay?" Aubrey asked sweetly. "Sound good?"
Chloe nodded and smiled. "Yeah." She whispered.
"Okay." Aubrey started backing out of the room. "See you in a bit."
Chloe watched her best friend leave the room and was left with a direct view of Beca's closed door. She wanted to talk to her some more. There were things she should say. Apologies to make. She couldn't just leave it like this. She felt connected to the woman. She was going to miss her. She was going to think of her and maybe Beca deserved to know those two things. Chloe gathered up her bathroom items and paused outside Beca's door for a few seconds before turning to her left and walking one room down into the only bathroom in the house. She closed the door, sat her things on the counter and turned on the water. It wouldn't hurt to take a few minutes to gather her thoughts some more before she knocked on that closed bedroom door for the last time. She shed her clothes and got into the shower letting the water fall on her as she prepared to see Beca one last time.
XxXxXx
Chloe zipped up her suitcase with a deep breath. She pulled it from the bed and sat it on the floor, pulling up the handle to pull behind her. She picked up the shirt that she laid on the bed and turned back to the open door and to the closed door across the hallway. She stopped with the shirt in her hand and knocked three times on Beca's bedroom door. "Beca?" She called out, "It's Chloe." She rolled her eyes at herself. "Can I talk to you for a sec?"
Chloe stood patiently with Beca's flannel shirt in her hands letting it hang down in front of her. She waited, unsure if Beca was going to open the door anytime soon, so she decided to speak anyway hoping it would be enough. Enough to get Beca to open the door. Enough to see her one more time before she had to go. "I didn't even want to come on this vacation." Chloe admitted. "I just wanted to stay home and work but the girls said I needed to get out. Said it would be good for me to get away for a while and they were right. I never expected to meet someone like you." Chloe smiled and leaned her forehead against the door. "But people say it happens when you least expect it … to meet the person that will change you forever." Chloe placed her palm against the door. "God I know that's a lot of pressure. We barely know each other but I feel like when you look at me, I feel like … me and I haven't felt like that in ages." She took a couple of seconds to compose her emotions that were quickly getting away from her. "I wish I'd done things differently but I'll never regret meeting you and spending time with you. I wish it was under different circumstances. I wish it wasn't with everything else happening around us. Chloe sighed. "Can you please open the door Becs?" She asked tearful. "Please Beca?" Chloe asked as she reached for the doorknob. She waited a few seconds before turning it and pushing the door open enough to look inside. "Beca?" She called out. She didn't see the brunette in the room so she pushed the door all the way open. The room was empty but that didn't stop Chloe from calling her name again a little louder. "Beca?"
Chloe turned away from Beca's door, pulling her suitcase, through the hallway and into the living area. Maybe Beca was at the mansion because she wasn't in the smaller house. Chloe left her suitcase in the entry way and wound her way through the first floor of the mansion, eventually finding her friends in the kitchen. "Chlo!" Jessica greeted happily. Chloe couldn't help the smile that found its way to her face as her friend engulfed her in a tight hug. "I'm going to miss you so freaking much" Jessica whispered in her ear.
"Me too Jess" Chloe said back as she returned the embrace.
"Hungry honey?" Aubrey called from behind them.
Chloe nodded her head as she pulled away from Jessica. She turned to see Aubrey walking into the kitchen followed closely by Jesse. Chloe waited hoping that Beca would be behind them but she never appeared. "Does anyone know where Beca is?" Chloe asked as she watched Jesse and Aubrey unpack sacks of food from a local restaurant.
The ladies in the room looked to Jesse. He could feel their eyes on him and he could feel Chloe's nervousness.
"She's gone." He answered plainly.
"Gone?" Chloe asked softly.
He nodded sadly.
"Where did she go?" Stacie asked breaking through the silence.
Jesse's eyes moved from Chloe's to Stacie's. "Home." His dark brown eyes flew across the room back to the blue ones that were filled with sadness. "She went home." He repeated and he knew Chloe knew he didn't mean to her apartment in Cabo.
XxXxXx
At some point in the evening Chloe had fallen asleep with her head on CR shoulder. She spent the last of her nights in Cabo with her best friends. She listened to them laugh. She listened to them tell silly stories and she was with them in body but her mind was with someone else. She wondered where Beca was. What she was doing. Was she thinking of her too. She kept her head mostly down as they drove away from the mansion. The bright bulbs flashing from outside the car. Illuminating enough to capture her photo, just as Aubrey had predicted.
Once off the side road and on the main road, Jesse picked up speed as he headed towards the private airfield. He watched to make sure they weren't being followed as he winded through the cabo streets carefully at two in the morning. He'd glanced back at Chloe through the rear view mirror a couple of times. He wanted to say something to her, to try and comfort her because it was painfully obvious that she wasn't okay, but he bit his tongue each time. It wasn't what Beca had wanted him to do. When he'd spoken to her last, when she slipped out of the house while Chloe was in the shower, she told him what she was going to do. She was going home. To New York. She was going to stop running. She was going to do the things that she'd refused to deal with years ago. She said that maybe she'd be back to Cabo. He knew that she would, eventually, but not any time soon. He hugged her and he watched her sling her bag in her jeep, he watched Tuck jump in and crawl to the back seat, and he watched them drive away.
Jesse pulled into the small airport and pulled up to the airplane he knew was Beca's. "Wait here." He said to Chloe who nodded. Jesse got out as the staircase doors began to unfold. She watched him through the window. He shook the man's hand that descended the steps. She watched him hand him an envelope. Watched as the man looked inside and nodded his head at Jesse. Watched as he smiled. She watched Jesse turn back towards the car and make his way to her door. He opened it and offered his hand for her to take. She did. He held it as he walked her to the small staircase.
"Chloe" Jesse said from behind her.
"Thank you Jesse" Chloe after she turned around. She offered a kind smile. She placed her hand on his shoulder and kissed him quickly on the cheek.
He smiled at her and watched her turn and walk up the stairs. He ran back to the car and grabbed her suitcase. He handed it over to the man at the bottom of the staircase and watched him walk up and disappear inside the plane. He stepped back as the staircase folded up. He watched the man sit in the pilot's seat. He nodded at him through the window just before the plane's twin engines roared to life. He stepped back and leaned against the black SUV as the plane slowly began to pull away. He raised his hand in the air when he saw Chloe looking out at him. He watched the plane make a couple of turns and disappear into the darkness. He could only see it by the flashing lights on the wings of the plane as it sped down the runway and eventually began climbing in the air. He watched until he couldn't see it anymore. Until she was gone.
XxXxXx
"Miss"
Chloe's eyes felt heavy. She wasn't sure when she fell asleep but it was sometimes after the plane had taken off. There were only a couple of lights on in the cabin and it was only her and the pilot who she heard calling her out of her sleep.
"Miss" He said again gently.
He was an older man. Chloe guessed probably around 60, at least that what she thought when she saw his white hair and white beard. He'd introduced himself before they took off and asked her if she needed anything to which she declined. That was the last time she saw him until now. Her eyes opened slowly. She was surprised that it still seemed to be dark outside.
"We're here." He said with a soft smile.
Chloe nodded. She pushed herself up in her chair and stretched her arms in the air. "Jackson Hole?" Chloe asked
He nodded. "You're car is just outside." He said as he pointed through the small plane window to a white car that sat a few yards away. "As per our agreement with your management, I'll file our flight itinerary, after I land in Calgary."
"Calgary? Canada?" Chloe asked sitting up straight. She was confused.
"Yes, Ma'am. Where my family lives. Miss. Mitchell was very generous when she said I could take her plane home just in time to see my son and his wife have their first child. My first grandchild." He beamed. "I'm just here to refuel before continuing my journey."
Chloe still didn't understand.
"You're not listed on the flight manifest so no one will be able to track you here. I'll list a few days after I land in Canada. That will give you a few days head start so no one will know where you are." He smiled.
"Won't you get in trouble for that?" Chloe asked.
"Probably" He chuckled. "But Miss. Mitchell agreed to pay the fine and I really only fly for her these days anyway."
Chloe nodded slowly. Beca had been much more involved in this than she originally thought. Maybe that's what she was going to tell her earlier that night.
"Good luck Miss." He said as he smiled and walked away.
Chloe eventually stood from her seat. She gathered her bag. Rolled up her headphones and stuffed them in a side pocket of her purse with her phone. She threw it over her shoulder and walked down the aisle, out of the plane and down the steps. As soon as her foot hit the concrete she stopped frozen in her tracks. She couldn't believe her eyes.
"Lily?" Chloe questioned.
AN: Saw PP3 ... it was good but still kind of bummed about the pairing. Anyway, Merry Christmas guys. Hope everyone had a happy, safe holiday.
Song Title Cred: Dermot Kennedy, A Closeness