Danielle had laid there for an unknown time; there were no clocks in the room and she didn't have her phone, she guessed it had been almost an hour. The DCI had definitely said that Ronnie would be back soon, and she hadn't. Her interview surely can't take that long can it?! The time alone though, had become a comfort to Danielle, letting her gather her thoughts and think freely about the last twenty four hours. Of course Ronnie had hurt her, hurt her beyond imagination, the pain and cruel words still in the forefront of her mind, but she was her mum; the woman she had longed for, had wanted for so long, had loved, and still loves, with all her heart.
Her arm was causing her some uncomfort and try as she could; she just couldn't get comfy in the hospital bed, the flimsy hospital gown making her feel open and dirty, it wasn't her own clothes, some clothes that people had potentially died in. She slowly closed her eyes, as she tried to drift her thoughts away from everything; she just wanted to lie there and have a blank mind, enabling everything to just be easier. She sighed loudly, as she snuggled down into the bed sheets, attempting to wrap them around herself, as her thoughts once again drifted back to Ronnie.
She had loved her mother ever since she had found out she was adopted, she wasn't sure why or how but she had. The thought that there was this woman out there who might actually want her; another mum, another person to turn to. She had had the urge to go out and find this woman as soon as the locket was in her possession, the desire to find this young woman who looked no older than a teenager in the photo and let her know who she was. She was part of Danielle's life, part of her identity, part of her past and nothing or nobody could take that away; Danielle had known she had to find her mum.
But then when she had, she hadn't imagined her to be quite so young, to be so beautiful, so sophisticated, and so untouchable. She had a life without Danielle, a great life without her; not once had Danielle seen her cry. As time passed, it got harder for her to tell Ronnie, to inform her who she was, and then when Ronnie told her that getting rid of her daughter had been the best thing that ever happened to her, that not having an abortion was her biggest mistake; Danielle knew she couldn't tell her. What was she suppose to say?! Danielle felt tears of rage and frustration form in her eyes, how could she have been so naïve but how could her mum, her own mother who was biologically programmed to love her, have been so cruel.
Then there was last night, when Danielle had in promptly informed the whole of Walford who she was, not taking a care in the world over who heard and what people said. She had been invincible, if only for a moment; she was going to find out why Ronnie hated her and then she was going to leave, to reject Ronnie like Ronnie had rejected her time and time again. Only Danielle hadn't known that Archie had been lying, that Ronnie still had no idea who she was. She had felt her whole world crumble around her as she realised the truth, the sad but true fact that Ronnie had no idea, and then she had been rejected, rejected and humiliated in front of everyone she knew. Danielle felt her heart rate increase as she thought of the prospect of facing these people once again, she wasn't strong enough for it, she needed her mum, however much it pained her to admit it, she needed Ronnie.
The words she had heard Ronnie speak earlier this morning had been a light in a darkened life for Danielle; knowing that maybe her mother did want to know. Sorry. Ronnie had said it so many times, it was just a word, just a word to Danielle but hearing it from Ronnie was something different - it held a different meaning. Ronnie Mitchell never said sorry to somebody like Danielle, she never spoke with so much emotion in her words, so much sorrow and regret. She wanted her heart to rule her head, to let Ronnie smother her with love, with joy, but her head was ruling her heart at this exact moment, the sensible option of taking everything as it comes.
As Danielle fidgeted around in her bed, a small squeak escaped from the door, as the handle was pushed down and the sound of somebody entering the room filled Danielle's ears. She slowly opened her eyes, adjusting them to the light, and saw a blonde figure making her way over to the bedside. Her eyes struggled to adjust to the light as the woman sat down, her musky smell getting stuck in Danielle's nostrils. Danielle sat confused, that wasn't Ronnie's smell. That must mean that the woman wasn't Ronnie?! Who was it then? Danielle wasn't expecting any visitors, she kind of expected that she was going to get any, except maybe Stacey…
Roxy sat for a short time, just studying her niece's actions – her eyes slowly opening and become accustomed to the light. She smiled as she saw Danielle's eyes fixate on hers, before speaking, her voice soft and quiet, "Hey," She watched as Danielle attempted to sit up, her eyes never leaving Roxy's face, "Let me help," Roxy offered as she stood up and plumped up the cushions behind Danielle and slowly raised her up, taking care with the plastered arm.
Danielle smiled gratefully at Roxy, her aunt, as she moved back into the pillows, her mind at a loss of why her aunt was here and not her mother. It was nice though, to have some company, that wasn't as intimidating as her mum, the glaring blue eyes that hadn't left Danielle for the time she had been there had made Danielle feel self conscious, uncomfortable, worried that she wasn't enough for her mum. She carefully removed her oxygen mask from her face and placed it on the pillow next to her, her attention turning to Roxy.
"How are you feeling Dani?" Roxy questioned as she sat in awe at the young woman in front of her, only yesterday this girl was only Danielle but now she was Danielle, her niece, Danielle – Ronnie's daughter. She had become family overnight. She brought her hands together on her lap, resisting the urge to touch the young girl, to smoother her in love and closeness.
"I'm ok," Danielle spoke quietly, her voice getting used to be used again. She hadn't realised it but she hadn't spoken a word to anyone, except the DCI, since yesterday and her throat was paying for it. She couldn't contain eye contact any longer as she pulled her eyes from Roxy's and moved them to focus on her hands, gently studying the chipped nail polish coating her fingernails. The next few moments were filled with an eerie silence, neither women daring to speak – the tension building as time went on, before Danielle slowly spoke,
"Where…where's Ronnie?"
Roxy felt her heart fall at Danielle's small timid question, a little girl wanting her mum. She breathed heavily, the task of trying to explain burdening heavily on her mind.
"Danielle…I know it might be hard to understand, but Ronnie…she had to," The news was broken softly and was a gentle blow to Danielle, who at hearing the words Roxy was speaking, quickly cut her off before she had chance to finish, to fully explain.
"She's gone, hasn't she?" Danielle quietly asked, bowing her head, feeling defeated, scared and alone. It might be hard to understand, but Ronnie had to… There was nothing hard to understand for Danielle; her mother had left her, again, and sent her sister in to break the news gently. Danielle let out a little sniffle, she didn't know why she even expected anything different, this was Ronnie Mitchell. She would never change.
"No, Danielle…" Roxy softly spoke, reaching out her hand to brush against her nieces, as an offer of comfort. She knew Ronnie had hurt her daughter badly, but she didn't know the extent to the pain she had caused. Danielle gently flinched at her aunt's touch, not used to getting so close to her family, her relatives. It was normal her reaching out to them, not them comforting her; it was all so unreal.
Danielle once again interrupted Roxy before she had chance to speak, she couldn't hear the words she was expecting, she just couldn't. The rejection would cut through her heart like a knife and it would shatter even further, the pain would be excruciating, "It's ok Roxy," Danielle spoke louder, trying to sound more confident, more 'Mitchell like' "I…I didn't expect her to stay, she has a life without me…" Try as she could, she couldn't disguise her voice breaking at the end of her sentence, as she felt her eyes well up with tears, all she wanted was for Ronnie to accept her, to want her, to love her.
Roxy leant in closer to her niece, desperate to comfort her and not to make her cry. She had promised Ronnie she would look after her and that's what she was going to do. "Danielle, she wanted to stay but…" Roxy breathed heavily, her eyes attempting to connect with her nieces but failing; Danielle was avoiding all eye contact, looking everywhere but at Roxy, the pain evident across her young face, "The police think Ronnie was driving the car that hit you Danielle,"
Danielle slowly turned her head, her puzzling face and confused eyes meeting with Roxy's. "What?" She quietly questioned, Ronnie driving the car?! She wasn't, she wouldn't…
"I know its hard Danielle, but that's what they think. They won't let her see you, she wants to, but they won't allow it. She's waiting in the family room, and I came to give you some company," Roxy slowly explained as she wrapped her hand around Danielle's gently soothing her thumb across Danielle's knuckles, whilst smiling at her niece. "She loves you, you know. You mean everything to her,"
"I don't…she doesn't…" Danielle slowly spoke, her voice breaking as she did, dragging her eyes from her aunts, not daring to look her in the eye, she couldn't believe her. They were just words, words that Roxy could have made up; Ronnie needed to prove she was there for Danielle, that she really wanted her; she had to try and abolish all those bad memories from her daughter's head. That's what Danielle wanted, that's what she needed her mum to do.
Roxy nodded her head, trying to understand her niece's thoughts and feelings, she wanted to get inside her head, make everything simple and just reunite her sister and Danielle, they needed each other. "I understand Danielle, I do," She said as she met her eyes with hers, gently trying to encourage her to open up, "But you mean everything to Ronnie, you're her little girl…"
"How can you understand?" Danielle softly questioned as she raised her head, gently moving her arm to keep the blood supply moving, "You don't know what she said…how she treated me," Danielle's voice lowered, the tears on verge of spilling but Danielle managing to gently control them.
Roxy slowly felt her heart breaking, the pain caused to both these women was only reparable by one person, and ironically it was each other. "I know that you mean everything to her babe, and if you let me – I'll help you forget. You can help me understand. I'm here to listen Danielle," Roxy soothed as she comforted her niece.
Danielle found the courage inside her to look at Roxy, really look at her whilst admitting how hard everything was, "Its hard Roxy…so hard," She breathed as the tears rapidly started to fall down her face.
Roxy, at seeing the tears fall, rushed to Danielle's bedside, gently enveloping her into a tight hug, comfortingly brushing her hands through her niece's hair. "I know it is, I know – but everything will be ok Dani," She assured her as Danielle tightly clasped her hands around Roxy's bag, collapsing into her arms and finally letting the hurt and pain she had harbored for so long spill out.