A/N: The lamp looks like a cup of smooth volcanoes cradled in the light of the moon's circulatory system and mixed with the feathers of a thousand dead tissue boxes.
No, I did not forget about this story. XD The delay was a result of laziness and tons of homework.
…Mostly laziness.
~:~ Chapter Ten – A Lesson in Grammeeeeer (OoT/AU-verse) ~:~
Cracker.
Cracker.
PEANUT OOOOIIIIIILLLLLL!
Link and Grammazi were best friends. Grammazi was a Grammar Nazi who was sent to Hyrule by his superiors on Uranus.
"What should we do today, Grammazi?" asked Link.
"i dont no," replied the Uranian. "ur grammer bad is."
"Thank you," said Link. "I think that we should go save Hyrule today. I remember how Navi kept on nagging at me to save the kingdom, but then I got annoyed at her, so then I killed her with my dinner. Then I forgot what I was supposed to do, so Hyrule became doomed. Now I finally remember!"
"its been 14,000 yrs," Grammazi remarked.
"It's never too late!" replied Link. "Come on, I think that I last left off at that giant fish thing."
Link and Grammazi journeyed to Zora's Domain, where the 14,000-year-old rotting corpse of Lord Jabu-Jabu remained.
"I can't believe that fish thing isn't dead by now!" exclaimed Link.
"he iss ded," said Grammazi.
"Oh. In that case, I can't believe that fish thing hasn't rotted away by now!"
"he ate two much toxic waste so no1 wanted too eat him. haR hAr har haR har."
"You're so funny, Grammazi!" said Link as he grabbed his friend's arm. "Come on! Let's go!"
When they got inside the corpse, Link looked around suspiciously and wondered why there were so many holes inside.
"Why are there so many holes?" he asked. "I can see straight through the smelly walls!"
"I dun no."
"Well, we should find out by asking people! Where do you want to go first?"
"hyrool Castel toown..!.!"
MAGICAL POTATO ADVENTURES
Link and Grammazi arrived in Hyrule Castle Town in a high-tech ice cream truck complete with outdoor plumbling. When they stepped out onto the road, Grammazi was immediately run over by a speeding unicycle. Link saw this and dropped to his knees.
"Grammazi! My best friend! Noooooo!"
Then, a Goron with chubby wings barrel-rolled into Link, knocking him unconscious.
~x~X~x~
Two years since the horrible accident, a nurse was talking to Link while he was in a coma.
"Wake up."
"No."
"…Wake up!"
"NO!"
"Would you like some fried chicken?"
"NOOOOOO!"
"Are you sure?"
Link sneezed into the nurse's face. She gasped.
"My makeup! Fine, be like that! No fried chicken for you!"
"If you haven't noticed," said Link irritably, "I'M IN A COMA! Leave me alone!"
"Okay, okay! Why are people in comas always yelling at me?"
The nurse left the room in an angry rage. On her way out, she tripped up the stairs and was knocked into a coma. Later, her whole accident made a news story titled "Karma."
"HAr haR HaR hAR hAr," laughed Link—in the way that Grammazi loved to laugh—as he was reading the newspaper article dealing with that nurse. He was still in a coma. He put it down after he was done reading. "Wow, being in a coma sure is boring around here!" Link then realized that what he had just said was bad grammar, so he broke down and cried over the memory of the loss of his best friend.
All of the suddenly, the ghosts of Grammazi will appeared in fronts of Link. He was not not red and not white but white, and they flags will died in a outside of a apples tree back in the December two years from now.
Liiiiiink, he wailed. I have fiiiiiiinally realiiiiized how to use proper grammaaaaaaar.
"Gasp!" said Link. "By golly, does that mean that you've been using incorrect grammar all that time?"
Yeeeeeesssss, moaned the spirit of Grammazi. But do not feeeaaaarrr, for I am—
Link died just then because the world blew up.
~x~X~x~
A/N: No offense to any Nazis out there. Although, I'm not sure why a Nazi would be reading this in the first place.
-Eternal Nocturne-
Chapter Ten – Completed October 11, 2011