A/N: I wanted to say thank you for all those who have left reviews. I may not get to reply to them all, but I do read them all and appreciate them! Please keep them coming.

Also, just to answer a question that's come up: in my mind, considering how long Hermione and Ron obviously liked each other in the books, and the fact that they were "sort of" together since the summer of 1997 (per DH), Hermione would have thought about being with and being sexual with Ron long before they became "official" during the Battle of Hogwarts. So, keep that in mind as you continue to read.

Now that we have that cleared up, on we go to the next chapter. I hope you enjoy. We're getting close now to some significant jumps forward.

Chapter 10: Moving On

Severus was sitting on the potions bench closest to the window, rubbing his temples. He'd started to feel light headed, and wondered if his magic might be wearing thin in his body. If it was, he'd need to make a decision soon, or resign himself to death by inaction.

It didn't seem likely that he would be able to decide: once or twice a day he'd think he had an answer and would stride confidently towards one of the doors, only to turn on his heels at the last moment and collapse back onto a bench in the centre of the room.

His only reprieve was when Hermione would visit him each day. He thought he would get tired of listening to her at first, but now he waited in anticipation for the sound of her voice, the sight of her on the grass below.

Normally she came when the sky was dark, but sometimes—on what he only assumed could be weekends—she came during the day and stayed a bit longer with him. Most times she would talk, but sometimes she would simply lie in the grass, staring at the sky or at the lake.

He'd been able to count time since she'd started visiting. It had been almost four weeks. He guessed he'd been here about six weeks in total now. No, he didn't have much longer before his body gave out on him.

Severus heard Hermione greet him with an, "I'm back, Severus. Did you miss me?" and he stood up suddenly; the motion made his vision swim, and he was careful as he moved to the window to see her better.

She stretched as she came to a stop before the lake, her hands raised above her as she closed her eyes against the setting sun, which illuminated her face in red and gold. Severus thought she looked like a phoenix stretching its wings.

Smiling slightly, he rested his forehead against the window pane as Hermione stretched out on the grass below him. Lying parallel to the gravestone, she turned her head to look at it, touching it with her left hand.

"You met with the Dark Lord today," she said softly, her face growing suddenly sad. "It must have been the night he came back."

Severus closed his eyes. He remembered the night well. Just like Karkaroff and Lucius, he'd known that Voldemort was growing stronger as the mark darkened on his arm like an omen of what was to come. So on the night Cedric Diggory had died, and Dumbledore had asked him to leave, he knew what he had to do.

"Did you know he'd be so angry when you arrived? Did you expect to get tortured?" Hermione asked, running her index finger back and forth over the stone.

"It was always a strong possibility," Severus answered, knowing full well she could not hear him, but preferring to answer her with his voice. It seemed more like a conversation than eavesdropping that way. Besides, it wasn't as if there was anyone else to speak to in Limbo—not since Lily had disappeared shortly after he arrived.

He recalled the bitterness and cold that swept over him as he donned his Death Eater mask that he had not worn in over 14 years. But he'd sworn to do whatever he could to fight the monster that stole Lily away from the world, and so he'd pushed every emotion behind the impenetrable walls he'd built in his mind and touched his mark with his wand.

He was pulled to a graveyard to find chaos in progress. The Dark Lord had been mad, so very mad that Harry Potter had escaped him once again. He was interrogating each of his Death Eaters, hurting them when he did not hear what he wanted.

When Severus arrived, Voldemort's red eyes locked on him instantly, and he'd dropped the curse on Dolohov, who stayed bowed at his feet.

"Severus, so nice of you to join us," the Dark Lord hissed. "You're quite tardy."

"My deepest apologies, My Lord," said Severus, dropping to his knees and averting his eyes from the snake-like face that loomed over him. "I was at Hogwarts, and could not get away without Dumbledore noticing."

"Yes, I hear you still retain the post I put you in so many years ago," said Voldemort. "I also hear you have gone as soft as the old man, protecting the boy, Harry Potter."

"I have been loyal to you the whole time, My Lord. I have continued to gather information, to build Dumbledore's trust in me so that I would be of use to you when you returned," said Severus.

"Stand up, Severus," said Voldemort, and Severus did as he was commanded. He kept his face passive as he stared at the slitted red eyes of the Dark Lark.

"I tried to return four years ago, Severus, right there at your school, and I do remember you trying to stop me," Voldemort hissed, and Severus could tell he was as close to death as he'd ever been.

"A grave mistake, My Lord. I did not realize it was you. If you had shown yourself to me, I would have done my best to help you in any way I could. As it was, I believed myself to be only against Quirrell," he said, forcing himself to hold the Dark Lord's gaze as he spoke. "There is a benefit though, as I now have Dumbledore's complete trust. He tells me his secrets."

"Dumbledore's secrets?" said Voldemort, his face twisting greedily. "Oh, you will tell me all his secrets, Severus. But first, I think, a little reminder of your mistakes, and why you will not fail me again."

Voldemort raised his wand, and Severus steeled himself for what he knew was to come.

"Crucio." The Dark Lord sounded almost bored as he said the word, but the pain was almost overwhelming, dropping Severus to the ground. As he writhed against the dirt and grass, he focused only on keeping his mind blank and not passing out from the pain.

"I don't know how you didn't scream," said Hermione, interrupting Severus's memory, and he watched as she closed her eyes and pressed her brows together. "When Bellatrix… it felt like every cell in my body was on fire and trying to free itself from my skin. I couldn't help but scream."

"I am so sorry I could not protect you," said Severus, wondering if could ever forgive himself for all those he had allowed to be hurt or killed.

"I don't know how you did it, how you could face him knowing what was to come. You were so brave," said Hermione, touching her forehead to the grave next to her hand. "Did you hate Dumbledore when he asked you to tell Harry about everything, once you knew his plan?"

"A small part of me did," admitted Severus. "But I could see that there was nothing else to be done, if Voldemort was to die. And if he didn't…" No, Voldemort winning the war was not something he wanted to contemplate, then or now.

But the boy… for everything he had done, sending the boy to his death had been the worst, the hardest thing he had been forced to do as a spy.

"I'm not sure I can forgive Dumbledore," said Hermione softly. "Harry does, of course, but I'm just not sure. I can't help but think he used us all in the end to get what he wanted, and felt no remorse about it. I can't fault the outcome, but… what if Harry hadn't come back?"

Tears spilled from her eyes once more, and Severus felt a terrible pain in his chest that he could not comfort her. Instead, he watched solemnly from his window until she became quiet, and began speaking once again.

"Why did you never move on after Lily?" she asked, rolling onto her back. "I've been thinking about it for a while. You had what, 13 or 14 years in between the wars? Most people would have at least tried to find someone else."

"I am not most people," said Severus bluntly.

"There was another memory today, and it looked like Professor Sinistra was flirting with you, but you never gave her the time of day, did you?" continued Hermione.

Severus shuddered, remembering the witch teasing him in front of their colleagues at staff meetings, giving him flirtatious glances in the Great Hall, and asking him to The Three Broomsticks on every Hogsmeade weekend for a whole year—he'd always declined. The whole ordeal had infuriated him.

Truth be told, at the time he didn't think his heart was capable of loving anyone other than Lily, but now he wondered if he simply hadn't met the right woman. Perhaps if Hermione hadn't been his student, like she'd said yesterday…

Severus shook his head, admonishing himself for such a thought. No, even if he had met a better woman than Sinistra then, he never would have pursued her. It would have been too dangerous. He refused to love again because he refused to kill another woman he loved. It was better, safer, for everyone if he stayed at a distance—no lovers, no friends.

"I do understand loving someone unrequited for a long time—I thought it would be like that with Ron until ten months ago," said Hermione, her fingers lazily tracing the swirls on the dark marble.

"Do we really need to talk about the red-haired dunderhead again?" Severus muttered. Weeks of Hermione talking about Ronald Weasley and their relationship had done nothing to improve his opinion of the boy.

"I'm not sure if reality quite lives up to the fantasy, though," she said, her mouth forming a firm line. "Maybe you were lucky that things didn't work out in that way. I mean, I know it was really awful for you at the time…"

"Such eloquence," mumbled Severus, rolling his eyes.

"… but at least you never got together and then realized things wouldn't work. That way there was always a chance. At least until she died," finished Hermione, her voice trailing off.

"I'm sorry, it's not the same at all is it?" Hermione laughed and shook her head. "Look at me, pouting about things not being perfect with Ron when your true love married your bully and then was killed by a psychopath!"

"Thank you once again for the reminder," grumbled Severus as Hermione continued to admonish herself below him.

"I know I'm lucky to have Ron. We argue and he can be a bit insensitive, but he says he loves me, and that's what counts, right?"

"If love was all that mattered in a mate, Lily would have chosen me and not James," said Severus plainly. "Clearly there is much more that counts."

Hermione was quiet for some time, lost in her thoughts. The sun had long since set and she was staring up at the star-filled sky, which Severus could only see a tiny sliver of through the windows. He wondered what she was thinking about as he continued to watch her from his perch above, but it was some time before she obliged him.

"It's funny. I know I'm not really talking to you, Severus, but for some reason I feel like you can hear me," she said eventually, her eyes still pointed skyward. "Maybe it's because of your memories—well it must be, I suppose. I know it's stupid and probably my mind tricking me, but I feel close to you.

"I wish I could see you—not in a memory or a photo but really see you."

Severus felt his heart leap in his chest as if it was trying to escape, and he clutched it with his hand, wondering if it was finally giving out on him. He breathed hard, but remained sitting at the windows in Limbo.

Just a palpitation. You still have time.

"I know you probably died thinking everyone hated you and thought you were a traitor," Hermione was saying below him. "I wish I had the chance to prove you wrong. Harry's doing everything he can to restore your reputation at the Ministry, you know, and I'm helping. Most people know now that you were a spy for our side and think you're a hero. I wish I could tell you how much we all appreciate what you did.

"I'm sure you'd hate it, everyone knowing about your secrets," chuckled Hermione.

"Astute as always," said Severus, frowning and rubbing his chest with the base of his palm.

So most people knew about his double-role and thought he was a hero. He knew that if he was alive, things would likely not be so easy. Forgiveness always seemed such a fickle thing to him. Would people be so quick to acquit him of wrongdoing if they saw the mark on his arm, heard the voice that had cut them down so often out of necessity?

"Harry and I didn't tell everyone about Lily, though," said Hermione.

Severus was surprised at that comment. But perhaps the boy was embarrassed that his cruel ex-professor had been in love with his mother all those years and wanted to keep it to himself. But what was the reason for Hermione to keep his secrets?

"If you're there with her—Lily I mean—can you tell her that Harry is okay? He still has nightmares sometimes, I think, but overall he's doing really well. He's really excited about becoming an Auror."

"If she comes back, I'll tell her," promised Severus.

Hermione rolled over onto her side once more, facing the black marble. She kissed her fingers and placed them against the stone, leaving her hand against it.

"You're a good man, Severus Snape."

Fucking heart, hang on a little longer, he prayed, feeling it pounding in his chest.