Chapter 10 - The Mansion Arc - Part 8
'Snap!'
Kendrick instantly stopped struggling. His arm dropped, hanging by his sides. His eyes became pale...
Ezra had felt the anger. He had felt the cold... so cold, he had thought his veins were burning... But, nonetheless, he couldn't stop himself.
He looked incredulously at his blurry trembling hand, letting the blond crumple on the grass. He just couldn't stop his own tremor...
Sure, it wasn't his first time now. He had shot a tie-fighter, pushed a Rodian to let him fall in a gas mine pit, stabbed the criminal... but, it was the first time he actually used only the Force to deprive someone of his life... and he had felt so submerged by all his anger, it made him more nauseous than the poison still running in his body...
Amara ran to him, taking his arm in her hands. -"You did it, Ezra! You saved us both!"
He continued to stare at his hand, like hypnotized by it. -"I... I didn't intend to. I... just wanted to scare him..."
Her joy was instantly washed away, compassionating with his suffering. -"The throat is one of the weakest parts of a humanoid body. You must have used too much strength..."
He finally moved his hand, clenching it before releasing like he had no more strength in his limbs. -"I... need a moment alone. I'll be in my room."
-"Yes, you need to rest." She agreed quikly. "I'll help you..."
She meant to help him to his bed, but he gently shoved her hands.
-"My sight is getting better now. I'll go by myself."
She lowered her head, comprehensive. -"I understand. Don't worry, I'll find an excuse for the Master."
He nodded and walked away.
...
On his way to his room, Ezra stopped in a bathroom. He washed his face with clear water, calming himself and still trying to regain a better sight. His head was still unfocused and he couldn't totally think clearly. His thoughts were fuzzy with the poison running in his veins.
Looking at himself in the mirror, water drops pearling on his skin, he realized his eyelids were darker... Too dark to be natural. It was like if his big blue eyes were surrounded by the darkest night, slowly getting swallowed by it...
Frightened, he washed his face one more time! Rubbing strongly on his eyelids, he stupidly hoped he could make his skin regain his former color. But it was hopeless. They kept their strong taint...
He clenched his fingers on the sink, furiously closing his eyes tight, despaired. He was right last night. What was he becoming... Who he was becoming! Could he even face his friends when they'd got here... If they'd got here! It seemed so long since he contacted them. They could be anywhere in no time with the Ghost. Why were they still not here! Why were they letting him fall, more and more, in this deep abyss of loneliness... all alone, succumbing slowly to the obscure part of himself, letting his darkest emotions take away the best of him…
Releasing the sink, he sighed angrily. He retained his tears in their black cage, confined like him, and went to his room. If he was not allowed to be free, then they should not either...
...
When Ezra had walked away far enough, Amara whispered to herself, miserable. -"Oh, Ezra. Are you always so trustworthy whenever someone shows you a little kindness..."
She walked to Kendrick's dead body, looking at him sadly. He had been right all along and had proved it with his life.
The Master always win...
-"To think I was no better when I first came here." Sighed the little Twi'lek. "When was the last time I could be trustworthy without getting hurt? It seems so far from now..."
She got lost in her thoughts, reminiscing her oldest memories, searching for someone she had forgotten long ago... searching for herself.
-"It must be... before I was seven?" She sighed again. "If only I never had trusted her..."
...
I used to smile all the time. When I woke up in the morning, when I played until noon, when I ate with my parents, until I fell asleep after they came to hug me before night time...
Even when my father was so serious, wearing his stern face to speak to me.
-"Listen to me, Amara. It's important." He told me at least once a week.
-"Yes, Daddy!" I replied with enthusiasm, even knowing what was coming next.
-"Amy, I'm serious, listen to Daddy." He scolded me gently.
-"But, I am serious! I can understand, I'm 4!" I retorted, raising my hand with 3 fingers up.
He smiled, holding my hand carefully to help me raise my fourth finger. -"I know, that's why I'm explaining it to you." He looked directly in my eyes. "You must not talk to strangers. Never. Outside, there are bad people who wish to harm Daddy and Mommy and I don't want you to get hurt because of that."
-"But, why would they want to hurt you? You never explain to me..." I said, pouting.
He sighed. -"Because, we broke a taboo."
-"What is a Ta-Bu?" I innocently questioned.
He answered, patiently. -"A taboo is something people are made to believe is wrong when, in fact, no one know if it's true."
His answer still puzzled me, but it was the first time he actually answered me so I continued. -"Did you make people angry?"
-"Yes, Amy dear. Really angry."
-"Why?"
I still remember how sad he was while answering. -"Because a Master should never love his Apprentice."
-"But, love is a good thing! I love Mommy and Daddy!" I said, still so innocently.
He smiled again. -"And we love you too, sweet heart. But, some people think love is dangerous. So they forbid it. That's why we ran away, and that's why you must not speak with strangers. If they found us, they'd punish us. You don't want that, don't you?"
-"No Daddy! I won't let them find you! I won't speak with them!"
-"That's my girl. Good night, now." He kissed my forehead.
-"Good night, Daddy."
And, just like that, I'd go to sleep, happy to know a little more about my parents. Although I learned more when I grew up.
He was a former new Jedi knight. Soon after being promoted, he had to take a Padawan. He wanted to do his best and decided to take someone who had a good affinity with his character. That's how he found my mother. She was only a few years younger than him and they fitted perfectly for each other.
It was during the clone war. They had to fight alongside each other, constantly saving the life of the other. Soon, a spark ignited between them and, one fateful night after they nearly lost each other, they let themselves live fully together, embracing their happiness...
But, from that embrace, a tiny being was conceited. It was me, growing in my mother's belly.
They feared the consequences, but could never accept to remove the little being from her to hide what they had done. So, they fled. They escaped from the Jedi Council, far far away, just before order 66 was launched. They never heard what happened exactly, although rumors came to them after some time. All they knew was that all the Jedi had died, but some may have survived.
So, they continued to hide. In fear of some survivors from the Jedi Council who'd find them. In fear that those who killed the Jedi came after them too...
I was born a few month after, and we lived happily. Our tiny house was a little farther into the forest, not so far from a tiny town. We had no running water but we just had to go to a nearby river to provision ourselves. We also had no electricity, but who needs Holo-entertainment table when you could make things levitate to amuse yourself!
My parents taught me many things about the Force. Even if I was totally useless to attack or defend myself, I was exceptional at healing, provide emotional support waves and concealing. Concealing was, in fact, the part I had to practice the most but it was important to my parents so I did it until it became a second nature to me.
At least, I thought I had... until one day. Another one fateful day...
During my seventh year, I was at the river, filling water jars, when a woman came across me.
-"Little girl, I'm looking for someone." She said while smiling.
I averted her look, subtly trying to push the water for it to enter faster in the jar. Her voice was sweet, but, even without my father constant reminder, I don't think I would have spoken with her. Maybe because she was kind of intimidating, all dressed in black...
-"Maybe you can help me?" She continued. "It's important, I need to find the doctors quickly."
It was hard to hide my curiosity. I always loved to help and I know my parents would too.
-"It's a couple who have been spotted nearby." She walked closer to me. "The villagers said they could cure any wound."
Sure, it happened sometimes. My father told the villagers he was a doctor so he could help to locals and earn some money to cover our needs.
-"I heard they were in danger." She suddenly urged.
I instantly raised my head, worried. -"In danger? How?"
A deep sorrow passed in her golden irises. -"I heard someone was looking to kill them. I need to warn them."
-"I can pass the message." I replied in a hurry. "Thanks for the concern, miss..."
She regain her gentle smile and it was somewhat comforting. -"Call me Veena."
-"Thank you, miss Veena. I gotta go!" I rose and started to run, leaving my jars behind me, but she followed.
-"What if the villains are already there?" She insisted. "I don't want you to be hurt because of me, I'll go with you."
I nodded, speaking while running. -"You're so kind. I wish I could be like you one day!"
-"Maybe you can." She said, winking at me. "We'll see about that after seeing for the well-being of the Doctors."
We dashed to my house. Arriving nearby, I started shouting. -"Mom! Dad! Where are you? We need to hide."
I never saw the look on Veena's face change behind me. Neither did I saw when she took her lightsaber in hand, igniting the red blade to cut my back!
Falling on the ground, immobilized by an immense pain spreading across my back from one of my shoulders to my hips, I looked at that woman, helpless, while she butchered my mother who had come out of the house because of me. Then, Veena entered without a look back to search for my father.
I crawled slowly on the grass to reach my mother, focusing on my wound. By the time I got to her, my back was nearly healed. I rose on my knees to cure her wounds, my tears making it difficult to see what I was doing.
With her last breath, she smiled and took my bloody hands in hers. -"Continue to live for us. Run."
The Lightsaber fight could be heard from the house, red and green light flashing from the windows. But I kept crying, refusing to leave. I kept trying to heal my mother, wishing my father would slay the horrible woman, and when the lights stopped clashing in the house, I looked only to see that wicked woman step outside, still smiling.
She stretched her arms, walking toward me. -"Ahh, another good day coming to an end. But, it sure was tiresome. I should find a way to look for my prey without having to run around... maybe with probe droids?"
She looked down one me with disgust, annoyed. -"I thought I had killed you too. Maybe I should just do it again."
She pierced my belly with her red blade with such satisfaction in her yellow eyes that I felt frozen solid. How could someone be so bad?
Refusing to die yet, the second the harmful light got out of my skin, I pressed my hands on the hole and Force healed it. Her expression changed from annoyed to complete astonishment and then a mad smile twisted her face.
-"Oh, that was unexpected. I heard they had a child, but not that she was a Force user too!" She grabbed my cloths. I was so weak I couldn't resist and she dragged me under her arm. "It seems your wish will come true. I'll take you to a man who will help you become just like me."
Her evil laughter was the last thing I heard on my home planet. When I woke up, I was unceremoniously shoved on the cold floor of a mansion. An old man was standing beside the woman who had murdered my parents and abducted me, both staring at me.
-"What have we here?" He said with a stern face and a strange curiosity.
-"It's a gift for you, Master." Said the woman, proudly.
-"A gift?" He exclaimed, frowning. "You told me you were bringing back a young Force user. How could a new student be a gift?"
-"Every time you break her, she regenerates it, Master." Was her simple answer, bowing her head to him.
The yellow eyes of the man shined open. He turned his gaze to me, and somehow, I knew it was my last moment...
-"Veena, you may be the Seventh I could raise to the title of Inquisitor, but, for me, you'll always be my first success. You make your Master proud."
And after that, it took him a complete month to try me. Each and every part of my being was torn, broken, pierced, burn. And, each time, I had to heal myself, again and again, to be ready for the next wounds... I'm certain no part of my being was forgotten. I even had to beg him to leave my brain and heart alone, assuring him I could not heal them if I was dead... and I didn't want to die. I wanted to live, like my mother had told me just before she died. So, I endured it, until he was satisfied...
After that, he forced me to teach him how to do it and, to his utter deception and my relief, he was never able to reproduce that skill. So, I stayed here, watching over and over other kids pass by and they either died or graduate and leave. And, each time, I had to assure their survival by mending them and assume different personalities to ease the mind breaking process. I became a useful tool and a perfect actress... if only I had never been brought here, everything would have been easier for those poor 'students' like Ezra...
And I thought I was going to end my miserable existence, living only to make others suffer more, in this forbidden place...
At least, until a few days ago.
I was having trouble to sleep that night. I kept turning in my bed, remembering the horrible death of the last candidate who bit his own tongue, when I realized my consciousness had slid into a surreal dream. A dream about hope, determination and courage with the most deep and beautiful blue eyes I had ever seen in my entire life!
Waking up in my bed, rising on my elbow, I could only think of him. -"Who was this boy?"
The next morning, the Master called us - me and Kendrick - like he did every time we needed to be briefed before the coming of a new student.
He showed us the hologram picture of Ezra and it was difficult for me to hide my stupor.
-"This," Said the Master, pointing at Ezra, "will be our new fellow. And this," He handed us some files, "is the information we have on his former group. For this one, it will be easier to suggest him what we want him to do if you act friendly toward him. So, memorize the behavior of at least one of those persons."
This was my chance to know this boy more. To see if I saw right!
-"Oh, Look Kendrick!" I said, exited, pointing the files. "There's an ugly purple humanoid and a cute girl."
He frowned. -"Where are you going with that?"
-"I'll be the sweet girl and you the grumpy kid!" I answered, joyful.
-"Tche, if you want." He grimaced. "At least, like that, I won't be the one wasting my time tending to his wounds..."
-"Then, it's decided!" Agreed the old man happily, holding the two teens, one in each arm. "He'll be there in a few hours. Be ready to greet him!"
…
The thoughts of the little Twi'lek were broken by the voice of the old man.
He scolded her, his tone menacing.-"I'll have to punish you later for teaching Ezra how to conceal his thoughts from me."
-"I know. I'm sorry Master, but he needed it to continue with his assignment." Pleaded Amara with a tiny voice, her head bowed down.
He turned his look to the dead body, like he was just seeing it, and spoke calmly. -"Ah, I see everything went as planned."
-"Yes, Master. Ezra killed him like you said." She answered, keeping her head low.
-"We needed result for tomorrow. Albeit costing us a promising future Inquisitor, it was a frank success... I think you won't need to poison his food anymore."
-"I had already planned to give him the antidote in his supper." Was her cold answer. "I intended to bring it to him any minute now."
-"Fine, but I need to talk to him before." The Master commanded. "I'll send you a signal when we'll be ready."
She nodded and went away to prepare the food.
Looking down on the dead body, the Master continued to smile alone. -"You did good, my dear Kendrick. But you were so boring since so long. You were way too easy to break..." His smile twisted into a smirk. "Maybe your death will help me convince Lord Vader to leave Ezra in my care for a little while longer. At least, until they find me another student to take your place."
He turned away without an ounce of regret, walking toward Ezra's room.
...
Ezra closed the door of his room and walked to sit on his bed. He felt so empty, so lost... What had he done? He had let his emotions led him to use the dark side... Led him to begin becoming a puppet of the dark side. Now, he was no better than Kendrick...
If only Kanan had been here. Even only in thought... He would have stopped him! He would have talked him to reason!... But, who was he kidding? He shouldn't have needed anyone to help him! He had become so used to open himself to others, to count on them to care for him... He never needed help on the streets! He knew there was only himself he could count on! But, all Kanan's talk about relying on each others... what good did it gave him? If he never hoped for them to come and save him, he would have been okay!... Or, would he? At least, he wouldn't have cared about good or bad side...
Maybe that's what troubled him the most. To have disappointed Kanan, to have let down his teachings...
The door opened again, revealing the Master. He looked concerned and walked to sit beside Ezra.
-"Amara told me you were feeling sick. Are you fine?"
Ezra turned his look away, eluding eye contact. -"I'm fine, Master. No need to worry."
He was trying to push his thoughts way back inside his mind, shoving them quickly, rageously inside the sturdy box.
-"Oh, what's this?" The old man gently ran a hand in the blue-black hairs. "I see. You killed Kendrick."
The boy's heartbeat accelerated as if it wanted to break out of his chest! Denying what happened seemed pointless, now...
He turned his head to look at the man, defeated. -"Yes Master."
He was so going to pay for it. No way he was getting out of this unscarred. He closed his eyes and braced himself.
The old man took him in his arms, holding him carefully to hug him. -"It's alright, Ezra. It was survival. You did good."
No pain? No punishment? He even got praised! At least, there was someone he hadn't disappointed... his nerves broke and he started sobbing in the man's gentle embrace.
-"There, there." Continued the Master, comforting. "It's alright. You did the right thing. I'm proud of you."
Ezra clung onto the man's cloths, his sobs turning into cries.
Behind the boy's back, the Master's face twisted with an evil smirk. 'One step at a time.' he thought. Slowly but surely, Ezra was falling into his trap.
Not long after, Amara entered in the room with a food tray. She smiled softly, her mere presence being enough to comfort him. No, he was not all alone in his despair. At least, he had one tiny string of light he could cling to in his endless fall to the dark side... one other kindred soul who could understand his silent suffering.
She sat beside him too, handing him the tray. -"We'll always be there for you Ezra."
-"We'll be by your side, no matter what happen." Gently agreed the Master. "Now, eat and sleep well. You need to regain your strength. Tomorrow will surely be a difficult one."
Ezra nodded in consent, so tired but innocently happy to be finally shouldered in his misery…
...
The morning after, the Ghost exited hyperspace just beyond the little Pyleiad moon.
Hera dropped a hand on Kanan's shoulder. He was leaning with an arm on the ship's wall, pressing his chest like it was breaking apart.
-"When I first encountered Ezra," He said hardly, the pressure hindering his speech. "we already had some kind of affinity. Even from before he became my Padawan... But, now, this Bond between us have nearly entirely faded away..."
She firmed her hold on his shoulder, worried. -"Are you really sure you want to go. We can always wait for Sabine and Ahsoka, I called them so they'll be here any minute now."
He took a deep breath, determined, and rose up. -"No. We need to get him out of there as soon as possible. I know the risk, but I won't stay behind."
-"I understand, love. He need you, more than ever..."