A/N Just wanted to say thanks again for all the lovely reviews and PM's for the previous chapter. I was elated to get a 1st time review from a reader from Japan and just wanted to publicly say thank you for that. Thanks to wolfmusic for offering ideas and reading my stuff over when I feel stuck.

This chapter is an interesting one. It takes us back to John's loft where we see how his dinner with Joss went. We also flashback to 2003 to an important conversation with Reese and Shaw. Enjoy.

The flash of his teeth, his smile tickled her.

His blue eyes lit up as he laughed at her anecdote about Jourdan. Since she'd arrived he'd been nothing but jovial, personable and downright charming. She felt relaxed with him in his space, at ease.

Everything about his movements was slight, the way he sat, moved in his chair, touched his face. He made it a point to touch her when he talked, her hand, her arm, a light brushing of his fingers. Everything he'd done made her aware of him. She didn't know if it was the champagne or the subtle way he lured her in all evening, but she felt positively giddy.

"You have really outdone yourself, John." Joss watched him take their empty plates into the kitchen. Their meal had been finished almost two hours ago, but they'd lingered at the table engrossed in conversation, drinking the rest of the champagne and enjoying each other's company.

"I'd forgotten just how good a cook you were. And a good host." She added and followed him, leaning on the counter opposite him. She watched as he rinsed their plates and loaded them into the dishwasher.

"Thank you." He said with a smile. "I rarely have time to prepare something this elaborate. Or have anyone to share it with for that matter. Most of the time I just grab what I can, here and there."

He washed his hands, and she studied him. His clothes seemed almost like a uniform, dark pants, plain white shirt, clean shoes. With his sleeves rolled up she was treated to the sight of his strong forearms and with his head bent downwards, she saw the outline of his neck. His hands wet with soap, the warm water trickling over it and she started to remember other things as well that made her lick her bottom lip.

"But we're not quite done yet."

"What do you mean? There can't possibly be more, I'm stuffed."

"Well make room for a little more." He said drying his hands as he turned round. His expression was almost that of an excited child. His eyes were twinkling. She watched as he moved closer.

"What are you up to?"

"I remember us having a conversation about ice cream before. You remember that?"

"I do, yeah." She remembered the context in which they talked about ice cream and what happened right afterwards. The memory caused her to blush.

"You preferred chocolate back then, didn't you….from what I recall."

"And you were a bit of a chocolate lover yourself from what I recall."

"Yes. And I still am. Though, I wonder…if you still like vanilla." He asked as he advanced towards her and he put his hands on the edge of the countertop around her, blocking her in. She craned her neck to look up at him.

"Sadly I haven't tasted vanilla in a while, but….I'm open." She watched his eyebrow shoot up at her answer and he had a smile on his face.

"Well I have something I think you'll like. It's somewhat…..in between what you're normally used to and it's going to wake your taste buds right up." His head was bowed, his voice right in her ear now. Were they still talking about dessert? She had to admit, she was in the mood for something sweet and what he was describing sounded very interesting.

"Tell me about it."

"Well it's a combination of sweet cream ice cream, brownies, caramel…"

"Ooooooh….."

"….pecans, and chocolate fudge to top it all off."

"Sounds like we're going full on over to the dark side tonight."

"Only if you're ready."

"I'm game if you are." She said and he walked over to the freezer pulling out two pints of Coldstone custom packed ice cream containers and opened them. She laughed as he stuck two spoons in them shoving one into her hand. Nothing fancy, just plain old ice cream out of the carton. She dug in and closed her eyes at the taste, making an hmmmm sound as it went down.

"This is soooooooooooo good, John."

He nodded his head. "I had a feeling you'd like it."

"Jourdan would love this."

"How is she?" He asked.

"She's good. She misses you."

"I miss her too." He said quietly. "She's…..she's just….."

"Amazing?" She offered.

"For lack of a better word, yes."

This time she was the one who nodded and smiled at his expression. He'd been incredibly taken with her since the beginning. They started to form a bond already. In less than a month he'd made a tremendous impression on her daughter. It was scary almost. She wasn't afraid of being replaced. She knew that would never happen, but she still wondered how she and Jourdan would fit into John's life. That was still a concern. A concern that she knew needed to be addressed soon.

"She thinks you're pretty amazing too, John. She's been comparing my French to yours. Of course there is no comparison. She's always asking questions about you. Some of them I can't answer, but bottom line…I think it's safe to say she's starting to get used to having you around or at least having some access to you."

He stuck his spoon into the container and looked at her momentarily guessing at her thoughts.

"I worry about her looking for you one day and finding you gone."

She felt like they were finally acknowledging the elephant in the room. There it was. Finally out in the open.

"The last thing you remember about Paris is me disappearing without a word, I know. I know I wasn't there during your pregnancy, while you were raising Jourdan. Would I have been there if I could? Yes. I can't change the past, but I'm here now. I'm not going anywhere. I want to be there for her. And for you."

She looked around her then, breaking his gaze and her eyes landed on the envelope from Family Diagnostic Center on the counter next to her. She picked it up and noticed that it was still unopened.

"How long have you had this?" She asked.

"A week maybe."

"And you haven't opened it?" She handed it to him and he took it from her. "Go on, open it, John."

She watched as his fingers tore at the paper, her hands folded in front of her. She knew what it would say. She knew Jourdan was his and he already believed that he was. She wanted to see his face when he saw the actual test results.

It seemed like he took forever to unfold the sheet of paper in front of him and she watched as his eyes looked over the numbers and markers. Were his hands shaking or was she imagining it?

"Well?" She asked and he looked at her with tears in his eyes.

"She's mine." He said and let out a ragged breath and the full impact of the test results hit them both. Suddenly it all became real. Now he wasn't just hoping, now it had been proven. Now everything he wanted was right before his eyes and all he had to do was take it.

"I'm not going anywhere, Joss." He said and she looked into his eyes questioningly. He knew she was scared as he pulled her in front of him. Her hand on his face was so sweet and soft. He could see she was terrified, still cautious, but he saw bravery behind her eyes.

"I'm here to stay."

"I'm here to stay." He said.

There was sincerity in his voice. She knew she heard it.

There were voices of doubt screaming in her mind, but she silently pushed them away as she put her hand behind his neck. Gently she pulled him toward her and she kissed him. His hands quickly went around her waist and he pulled her close, almost roughly against him. Her fingers in his hair, his hands moving over her back and she felt like she would melt.

The taste of him on her tongue again, his mouth wet, demanding to connect with hers, this is what she missed, not just for weeks, but for months and years. This is what she hadn't been able to find in any man since him; this passion, this heat. No one else had been able to kindle it inside her except for him.

"John…."

His hands were fisted in the soft fabric of her blouse at her back, his grip on her tight.

"I want you, Joss." He whispered and his tongue snaked out, running over her mouth, lingering on her top lip. He reached up to touch her, his hands on her face, at her neck, searing her all over her body.

She felt dizzy at his touch, with his lips at her throat. She hadn't realized it but she was shaking, almost afraid of what she was feeling, wanting.

She was shaking in his arms. If only she was aware of how scared he was too. Scared that she'd think he wasn't good enough for them. Scared she'd change her mind and leave right now to go back to Virginia.

"I want you so much, Joss."

He could feel her trembling again as she held onto him and he kissed her, hard this time. His lips crashed onto hers and he heard her gasp as he pulled her closer. Their lips parted for a moment and he caressed her cheek, caught up in the feel of being so near to her.

"You can have me." She whispered and captured his mouth again, pushing her tongue against his. He moaned a little and held her by the waist, pushing her backward, leading her out of the kitchen and over to the couch. He spun her round till her back was to him, bending his head to kiss her neck. His hand moved against her bare skin under her blouse and he pulled it over her head. He undid the clasp of her bra cupping her breasts. They were tender and so soft in his hands and her nipples hardened under his fingertips.

His cock was hard, straining against his pants and he pulled her toward him so she could feel it. He wanted to be inside her, but he didn't want to rush. He made himself wait.

Joss gasped as his tongue slid into her ear and she felt weak underneath his touch. She unbuckled her jeans letting it slide to the floor and slipped out of her shoes. His hands reached inside her underwear moving his fingers over her. She was wet and his fingers moved expertly inside her, gliding in and out of her, so smooth, so slick.

How did he still know how to kiss her, where to touch and linger so that she would go crazy? She thought. How did he still know her so well? She wondered.

He got out of his clothes quickly and she turned round to look at him. He didn't have the same hard chiseled body as he did ten years ago, but his thighs were toned and strong, his arms muscular and his chest was still firm to her touch. She kissed his bare skin feeling him shudder under her mouth. She reached around to run her hands over his bottom as she licked at his nipples and enjoyed the gasping sound he made.

She realized that after all these years he could still turn to putty under her fingers. She held him in her hands, stroking him as he kissed her, pulling her close, his fingers tightening on her shoulders. He turned her around once more, and pushed her against the couch till she was on her knees.

She felt him in the back of her, his mouth kissing her from her neck down to her lower back. She held onto the back of the chair for support, feeling overwhelmed by the sensations moving through her. She felt his lips kissing on both her butt cheeks, and biting them while he fingered her clit.

"John…"

She hadn't heard him move, but the faint sound of a condom wrapper quietly filled the air and she heard him padding over to her once more. Softly she felt the tip of his cock moving slowly over her opening. Back and forth he teased, while she moved, dying for him to be inside her.

Finally when he did, it felt like a knife slicing warm butter.

Slow. Smooth. Hot.

John took a sharp intake of breath as he entered her. He was sure he felt her hold her breath too almost like they were feeling the exact same thing at the exact time. For a moment there was no sound and he could feel her closing in on his inches as he pulsed within her.

He was still.

Not moving and he glided his hands across her back over and over. He saw her head loll down, saw her start to grip the back of the couch. He felt the most powerful squeeze inside her and that's when he slowly pulled out. He gritted his teeth and held himself in his hands for a bit then moved his shaft over her butt, bending down to kiss her lower back.

She felt so sweet on him, for a moment he felt he would finish too soon.

"John…." She drew his name out on her tongue, the sound telling him how hot she was for him, how much she wanted him.

He wanted her too.

He entered her again, this time with purpose; to fill her completely, to sheath himself completely. He hovered over her, pumping into her fast, feeling swallowed up inside. He'd lived off of the sound of her laughter for weeks, the sultry mutterings when they were on the phone. Now she let out screams of ecstasy in his hears.

He loved it. He loved it all. The tightness of her on him, the way she fit him like a warm glove, hot and snug.

She bucked against him, pushing against his strokes, calling his name. Why was this just as he remembered all those years ago?

He pushed her legs closed as he pulled out and his next stroke was amazingly intense. She was making mewling sounds, deep in her throat and he reached around to massage her clit, pushing in deeper and deeper. Her legs started to shake and John felt his body start to flush. He groaned loudly as he pressed her further against the chair.

"Joss…." he bit out, gritting his teeth. She screamed out and bent her head over the back of the chair. He could feel her walls start to vibrate on him.

His hands moved to her butt cheeks spreading them as he stroked her long, hard, and slow, just a few seconds more. He collapsed against her, the grunt coming from his throat practically a growl. He felt so warm inside her. So sheathed and folded, still.

They'd both come. But both of them wanted more.

She knew he wasn't done with her yet. And she wasn't yet done with him.

She straightened up in front of him, careful not to push him out and she drew his arms around her. His hands moved over her stomach, her breasts, her neck and they rocked together, still both reeling from how powerful their union had been. She leaned her head back against him, while he kissed her lightly on her neck.

Couldn't they always stay like this?

"I missed you." He said between kisses and she could feel him slowly pulling out. She hissed at the tremor. "I missed this, being inside you."

"Hmmmmm…I could tell."

Could he hear the smile in her voice? She wondered.

They got off the couch together slowly and she turned around to face him splaying her fingers over his chest. "It wasn't the same."

"No." He said bending down to kiss her cheek. "It was different, better."

She smiled and nodded. "Yeah, it was. But we're not done."

She was happy to hear the throaty grin from him then. "No we're not." He picked her up and carried her over to the bed setting her down in the middle. He hovered over her slightly and she lay back enjoying his kisses on her belly, her chest. She loved the way he nipped at her breasts and teased her nipples.

She played in his hair and let her hands travel over his back and then he finally kissed her mouth soundly.

"I'll be right back."

"Ok."

He went to the bathroom and as he disappeared from sight, she padded over to the kitchen looking for the ice cream. It was soft now, but not entirely melted and she covered both containers, putting them into the freezer. She saw the tray of strawberries and picked it up, taking it over to the bed, popping one into her mouth.

Still sweet, she thought.

When he got back she was sitting under the sheets, propped up against the pillows with the tray of strawberries in her lap. Her hair was tousled, her skin was glowing and she looked positively radiant.

She held her hand out to him and he got in lying beside her.

She put a strawberry into his mouth, right before she kissed him.

"Hmmm…these are good." He said.

"Yeah, you let me eat most of them by myself. Pity there's no more champagne. It really brings out the flavour."

"I definitely have more champagne. Let me go get it." He was about to get up, but she held onto his arm crawling on top of him instead.

"Wait, wait…..I'm gonna let you get that in a minute. But I have a better idea."

"You do?"

He couldn't concentrate because her lips found the side of his neck and she was coaxing him to life in her hands.

Lower and lower her lips went, blazing a hot trail all over his skin. His stomach trembled under her mouth, her tongue and her teeth as she nipped at hm.

"You know I remember your spot." She teased and ran her hands along his thighs. "But I remember you being sensitive in other places too."

His eyes shut as her lips closed around him, his hands fisted the sheets.

"Josssssssssssss…"

MARCH 2003

Rouen, France

"Tough shell." Reese had remarked two hours after he started work on Shaw's captive. He could see the session would be nothing short of intense. And it had been. It took a lot of work to soften the man up, then another before the pieces of the 'egg' started to break off.

It was coming up on evening when he finally started to talk, realizing his captors knew how to prolong pain without courting death, the release he was looking forward to. He was right though, death would come later, but not before they got the information they needed.

He sat behind a two way mirror and watched as Shaw talked with the man realizing he soon had to leave. He'd left Joss behind and he was supposed to meet her. He had to leave soon if he didn't want to be late. He got up from his chair and tapped on the glass.

Shaw joined him in the room, his eyes showing slight exhaustion, circles under his eyes. He hadn't slept in almost three days and it was starting to take its toll.

"Thanks." He said.

Reese simply nodded, his face serious, his mind elsewhere. "I have to go."

"Where? You're on vacation; Kara said you had some free time. Why don't you wait here and we can head over to Pierre's after I'm done here."

Reese shook his head. "I have other plans."

"With who? You got someone waiting for you back in Paris?"

Reese didn't respond. His fingers moved over the back of his neck massaging it.

"You do." Shaw sounded a little surprised. "I thought after…..you know….."

"It's not what you think." Reese said cutting him off. He didn't want to discuss Jessica and he certainly didn't want to discuss Joss. Not here in this place, not right now with Shaw.

"I'm sure it isn't. Come on, look at us. Who'd want a life with someone who does this for a living right?"

Reese turned round to look his friend in the eye. He knew he was right; it's why he ended things with Jessica. Shaw knew it; he himself had been through a similar situation of his own. But for some reason, the words stung him. It was a wakeup call, a warning, a caution to not get close again.

It's what he needed.

"Thank you." Shaw repeated.

Reese walked out without another word. The closer he got to Paris the better he felt. It was like he was being stripped of the events of the day. He wanted to completely wipe it from memory and as he stood in the shower of his apartment he was looking forward to seeing Joss again.

He looked forward to her company, her smile, her amazing laugh. A few moments with her and he knew he'd be fine.

He got dressed hurriedly looking at the time and realizing he was terribly late. He'd have to make it up to her later. He grinned thinking of just the ways to do it. He'd kiss her pout away, the knot between her brows; he'd hold her hand and make it all better.

Their week together was coming to a close end; they didn't have much more time.

I want to see her again.

It was a crazy thought he knew but it was there. In his line of work he couldn't expect much and he couldn't give much. He was a fool, he knew, remembering Shaw's words.

But he wondered about asking for her number, seeing her sometime or the other. Would she agree to it? Would she be interested? It was worth a try, he thought as he left the apartment and locked the door.

His burst of optimism was quickly brushed away when he came face to face with Kara.

"Getting soft there, lover."

Four words had brought him back to his harsh reality.

Normal wasn't in the cards.

MAY 2013

Her toes were curled.

He was so deep, she thought and her body tensed atop him.

She bit her bottom lip. She felt his fingers digging into the flesh of her bottom. His knees were bent and he pushed up into her further and further as she came.

He pulled her close to his chest, angling her butt to meet his upward thrusts and soon he was there too, biting into her shoulder, gripping her back so tight she felt she would break.

It started with her innocently enough. She started to kiss his chest, his stomach, enjoying the sound of his moans in her ears.

She loved the way his face contorted, how he gasped for breath and how his fingers reached for her while her lips were wrapped around his length. She played with him in her mouth, teasing his cock with her lips and tongue till she could see he was almost crazy. She loved her name on his mouth, on his tongue over and over again. Finally he got so impatient for her that he pulled her on top of him.

They moved together, pushing and pulling, giving and taking. Tasting each other, devouring till they were satisfied.

Now they were tangled together once more, wrapped up underneath the sheets. She was exhausted. But she was content.

She snuggled underneath him as his arms went around her.

"You sure you have to leave tomorrow? I'm not ready for you to go back to Virginia just yet." She heard him say.

"I'm sure…" she said as he squeezed her. "I don't wanna leave either."

"So we're in agreement. You stay."

"Hmmm…..I have a better idea."

"Better than you staying?"

"Yeah. Jourdan finishes school at the end of the month. Then it's summer break. We could both come up here for a while and spend a few weeks with you. We could rent a house, see the city, hang out together." She hesitated to say it. Truthfully she'd had the idea since last week, but she wondered if it would be something he'd want given that fatherhood was new to him. "I mean, if that's what you want. I haven't suggested it to her yet….just in case you…you don't want…."

Reese took a while to digest what she was asking. He could hear Finch's voice in his ear warning him that it wasn't a good idea. He could hear all the reasons why it was risky for them to be in this city where he worked, but it was what he wanted especially after the evening he shared with Joss.

"It's what I want, Joss. It's what I want."

He knew she couldn't see his face in the dark, but he was sure she heard the crack in his voice when he spoke. He felt her take a deep breath and realized for a moment she wasn't sure of his answer.

"Good. I'll tell Jourdan when I get back."

She was still insecure when it came to them. He hoped over time she'd come to fully trust him and his desire to find a way to make a life with them. He was prepared to wait.

"Forget about renting a house. I'll find a place."

"Where?" She asked.

"Someplace nice, spacious, where you'll both be comfortable." He said.

And somewhere you'll both be safe, he thought.

"Ok, I'll trust you."

"Thank you."

"Jourdan is going to be so excited."

"I would hope her mother would be equally ecstatic."

"Her mother already is. Come here." She said and he bent down to kiss her hard. She responded in kind, and her fingers at the nape of his neck were sending shivers through him all over again.

"I can do this all night…" he said kissing her again. "But you'll never get any sleep.

She settled into his arms again, chuckling at his remark.

"Goodnight, baby." She said quietly.

"Goodnight, Joss."

"Wait." She said climbing on top of him. "Just one more kiss"