So, last night was... ugh, I can't even. In an effort to both shut out the reality of what is happening and also to do some good in this awful, awful world I stayed up all night working on this chapter, and because I know a lot of us are in pain and shock right now I wanted to see if I could improve someone's day. Because of that this chapter is uncharacteristically fluffy. Try to forget that society as we know it is possibly over, and enjoy it.
WARNING: This chapter contains explicit content but, get this... NO DUBIOUS CONSENT! I think I deserve an award for my restraint.
Chapter 10:
Of Fortunes Uncertain
Hook opened his eyes to the blinding light of day.
He blinked. He was lying naked, face-down on the floor of his cabin. A sharp pain assaulted him from all sides making him groan. his head was pounding. He looked around and noticed a bucket nearby that wreaked of vomit.
Carefully pulling himself off the floor he rose and stretched, letting the night come back to him in flashes. He had drank a lot. More than usual. And with each sip of his rum his anger and jealousy had grown until it was a wild beast that needed to be fed. That was when he remembered what he'd done to Emma.
Hook looked over at the bed. She lay sound asleep, sprawled out on her stomach as if the bed really did belong to her as well. He supposed it did at this point. Gently he took the sheets between his fingers and threw them aside.
His stomach turned at what he saw. Emma's body was beautiful. Her skin was white and smooth like porcelain, but from the curve of her ass to the backs of her thighs it had turned a gruesome dark purple mixed with splotches of sickly green.
He stepped back in disbelief. He had done that. He had hurt her. Hook grabbed the bucket and violently purged what was left in his stomach. He couldn't stand the sight of his awful deed and so he pulled on his clothes in a hurry and rushed out the door as fast as he could.
KEKEKEKEKEKEKEKE
Hook manned the helm all day. He didn't dare leave his post and check on Emma, as badly as he wanted to. What he had done was surely unforgivable and he simply couldn't stomach her rejection. Not yet.
The sun went down and doldrums descended upon the Jolly Roger. The winds stilled and the sails fell limp, leaving the ship to founder at sea. He sent the crew below deck to rest, incredibly grateful for the excuse to be alone. There were no clouds. The stars were bright and beyond count, but his eyes no longer marveled at their beauty as they once had. He had seen real beauty in the eyes of the woman who would likely never speak to him again. Nothing compared to her. Nothing on this Earth. Nothing in the sky. Only his mistress the sea served as a worthy rival and even she failed to comfort him that night. For the first time in his life he wondered if the infinite waters would be enough to heal the hole in his heart that would result from Emma's inevitable loathing.
Just as he was about to leave the helm and kick Smee out of his cabin so that he could get some sleep he heard someone walking up the stairs. His heart skipped a beat when he saw Emma's golden head bathed in moonlight. She approached him silently, wearing nothing but a thin white nightgown tied together with pink ribbons he must have ripped apart a dozen times.
"What are you doing?" he asked. She shouldn't be walking around in such clothing unsupervised. His men were an obedient bunch but a woman like her would test any sailor's loyalty.
"It's late." she said, putting her hand on his arm, "Come to bed."
He looked away, keeping his hand and hook on the helm. "Why would you want me anywhere near you?"
"To talk. I know something happened, and..." she sighed, "...I know that you didn't mean to take it out on me."
He sniffed stubbornly, still refusing to make eye contact, "I saw what I did to you."
Emma cocked her head to the side, "You mark me all the time."
"Not like that." he snapped, "That was... that was too far."
"Yes, it was," she agreed, slipping underneath his arm and coming to stand between him and the wheel, "but... a part of me..." Emma looked up at him with her beautiful green eyes as she confessed, "...a part of me loved it."
"Don't. What I did to you was disgusting."
"Maybe. But I know that it made you feel better." She took his face in her hands and pleaded, "Talk to me."
Her sincerity broke his heart. Hook sighed. He supposed now was as good a time as any to tell her. "When this journey is done... I'm not taking you home."
She furrowed her brows in confusion, "But... you promised-"
"I don't care. I can't let you marry Baelfire."
"Because you're jealous?!" she spat, and he could tell it was an accusation.
"Because it's what's best for you." Hook said firmly, "You have to trust me."
"Trust you?" Her lips trembled as her eyes began to glisten, "You said that if I was a good slave, if I followed all of your commands, you would let me go home!"
"I can arrange for you to see your parents every couple of years or so. We can meet them at a neutral location. They'd have to come without guards, of course, but-"
"Every couple of years?! That's cruel!"
"Emma, do you honestly believe that the Dark One will ever let you leave his grasp once he has you? You're the product of True Love, the greatest weapon of all. Once you enter his palace walls you'll never see your parents again!" Hook wiped a tear away as it slid down her cheek, "I can give you a good life. It's not... the life of a princess but... I can show you the world. And... I have quite a bit of money... Not enough to buy a castle but," he laughed humorlessly, "enough to spoil you rotten." He pushed a lock of hair out of her face, reveling in the silky strands as they slid through his fingers, "I swear I'll spend every cent I have trying to make you happy."
Emma sniffed, "Buying me things won't make me happy."
"Neither will allowing you to marry the prince."
"Why? Because he isn't you?"
"No, because he's an evil man who's going to hurt you."
She scoffed, "You mean he's going to fuck me."
"I'll die before I let him touch you, regardless of the circumstances." he sneered.
"You're so selfish! You could buy another slave. You could have any other woman on the world!"
"Emma..." he said, "...can you not see that I only want you?"
"And what about what I want?"
Hook took a breath and studied her. She was quivering in the brisk night. He took his hold off the helm and wrapped his arms around her, burying his nose in her hair so that he could enjoy the feminine bouquet that was her. "I know what you want." he said, "You want to be happy and safe. I can make you happy. I can keep you safe."
"You're right. I do want those things." she looked up at him, putting her forehead to his, "But I also want to be free. I want to make my own decisions and choose who I love."
"No one gets to choose who they love."
He nearly melted when she began to tenderly play with the hair at the nape of his neck. She asked him, "Aren't you even curious as to who I would choose?"
He looked down at her, clenching and unclenching his jaw, "I'm afraid I can't afford to give you a say in the matter."
Without warning Emma struck him hard across the cheek. "Ask me." she demanded.
He winced at the sting, "What?"
"Stop being a fucking coward and ask me who I would choose if I could."
He shook his head, "I'm no fool. I know that you don't want to be with me. You would run away if I let you."
"That's true. I would. But I'm afraid that's not up to me either. My parents made a deal. They rescued their kingdom from a terrible curse. Marrying a man I don't love is a small price to pay for the thousands of lives that were saved that day."
"They had no right to sell your heart."
"And you had no right to buy my body." was her retort, "That's the world we live in. Now, ask me." He stayed silent with his palms pressed against the small of her back. She shoved him, "Ask me!"
"I don't want to know."
Emma looked at him for a long time. Finally, she asked, "Who did this to you?" Hook didn't respond except to pull her closer as she stroked his stubbled chin. "You're so broken, so obsessed with your own misery, that you can't see that I have feelings for you."
With those simple words Hook felt the whole world fall away. In that moment he saw only her and the beam of hopeful light that she had quite suddenly bestowed upon him. "You do?"
"Of course!" she said, smiling brilliantly, "Hook, I... I have enjoyed our time together and I look forward to the coming months at sea. I want to make the most of the time we have together. It will be almost a year before you have to give me back and I want to spend it getting to know you and... showing you just how much I care about you, but... I do have to go back. You know the Dark One. He won't let my parents break their deal. If I'm gone too long he'll punish them in some horrible way."
In truth, Hook had barely heard a bloody word she'd said. "You... you have feelings for me?"
Emma looked down bashfully, "Don't sound so shocked."
"I am." he said bluntly, "Emma... the way you make me feel is... indescribable. It makes me crazy."
She laughed, and it was somehow sounded even more beautiful than it had been before her confession, "I've noticed." Then she said sadly, "I'll never be yours. But... we can play pretend for awhile." Emma surprised him by pulling on the ribbons holding her nightdress together, "I can serve you, and obey you, and let you take all your anger out on my body if that's what you need."
"No." he said just as her gown hit the deck leaving her completely bare before him, "I'll never do that again."
"I know." she said, wrapping her arms around his neck and pressing her naked body against his, "I just want you to know that I see your flaws and your weaknesses and they don't make me think any less of you. In fact, they prove to me that you are capable of love and that your passion comes from a place that's beautiful and real. You've taught me to be submissive. Let me teach you to love without the fear of loss."
He gripped her hard. Harder than he should. "But I am going to lose you."
"No." she said, stretching up to him, bringing her lips closer with each breath, "You've been so focussed on proving to yourself that you own my body you didn't realize that I'd already given you my heart. That's something no one can ever take away from you. In that sense, I'll always be yours."
Hook closed the distance between them before he passed out from joy. he hadn't realized just how badly he'd needed her to reciprocate his feelings but now that she had there was absolutely no greater emotion than the one he tasted on her tongue. He kissed her with all the fiery passion of a man who had found the missing piece that made him whole. He pushed her up against the wheel, groping her desperately. She wrapped her legs around him and said wantonly, "Take me here. I need to feel you inside me."
He wanted to slow down, to savor the moment, but his body simply could not deny her request. He untied his trousers as fast as he could with one hand and pulled out his already erect cock. It had hardened the moment she's walked up the stairs and with her sentiment of affection and had begun to throb with want. He reached down and felt of her. "You're already wet." he said in amazement.
Emma replied with a shy smile, "Just looking at you makes me wet, Hook."
"Killian." he corrected, "This time... I want you to call me Killian."
She smiled, "Killian."
He kissed her again and lined himself up. He wanted her so badly he was shaking from head to toe. He simply couldn't believe that a woman like her, a princess, would have feelings for a dirty pirate.
"Fuck me, Killian. Fuck me deep." she whined between passionate kisses.
The sound of his real name leaving her lips drove him wild. He slammed himself balls deep into her full force causing her to cry out. His thrusts were hard and deep, just as she'd requested.
"Yes!" she moaned, "Right there! Thank you, Killian!"
He was speechless. Usually he did all the talking but tonight she was taking control. It was exactly what he needed. Bloody hell was she incredible. "I'll never let you go. I can't. I don't want to go on without you."
"Just fuck me." she pleaded as he sucked on her neck, "Fuck me every chance you get for the next year. Fuck me in every hole I have. Ruin me so that my husband won't even touch me."
The thought of another man touching her made him see red. Hook pounded into her as if he were a machine. "Tell me how much you love my cock."
"I love it! I'd do anything for it. I'd do anything for you."
"What does it feels like? Tell me, you filthy whore"
Emma groaned. He could tell he was hitting bottom and then some. "It feels like you're splitting me in two. God, it's so big. It almost hurts but it feels so, so fucking good." Just then he felt her clench around him and watched in amazement as she fell. He had never seen a sight quite as beautiful as his princess coming hard while pressed up against the helm of his ship as she moaned his name.
"You'll always be my master." she breathed as her walls spasmed around him, "My master and commander. I'll never give anyone what I've given you."
"Bloody hell." he cursed as he released himself inside her. It felt so good to plant his seed that he forgot how dangerous it was. At that moment he truly didn't care. Nothing mattered except her. Slowly they both came down and he gently let her feet come back to the deck.
She was smiling serenely, as if she had just woken up from a very good dream. He kissed her and swept her off her feet. Emma laughed into his mouth, "Where are we going?"
"To our cabin." he replied, instantly erasing the distance she had put between them. He stumbled about, trying to find his way back without breaking their heated kiss.
She would be the death of him. Hook had no illusions about that. He knew that by caring for her he was throwing away whatever life he had once had, but he didn't care. She was worth a world. He would find a way to keep her. If what she said was true, and he really did own her heart, he would never let anything separate them. Even as the fell onto the bed he planned the possible paths they could take that would allow them to stay together, and there was one that stood above the rest. He could complete his quest and find the weapon he'd been looking for. He could use it against the Dark One and break the deal that tied Emma to her fate.
Hook kissed his lover until she was breathless and when she was ready he fucked her again. He felt renewed in spirit. His mission was the same, but it was no longer fueled by hate or revenge, and the biggest difference of all, he realized, was that he was no longer willing to give his life for his cause. Not because he didn't want it just as badly, but because, now, he had something to live for.
Thanks for reading! Please review. Feedback brings the updates. Next I'll be working on the conclusion to Bless Me, Captain (although I might update Blood Red Nights first so keep an eye out for that. For sneak peeks between updates or if you just want to chat follow me on Tumblr at .com. I love talking to you guys!
If you would like to be tagged in future updates and/or sneak peeks just send me a message.
Also, the provisory nominations for the csfanficawards are up and I have been nominated in several categories! Best Alternate Universe (WIP), Best Breakout Author, Best Multichapter (-50k), Best One-Shot, Best plot (WIP), Best Smut, Best WIP (-50k), and emmandhook has been nominated for Best Cover/Manip for her incredible manip of Emma on the Iron Throne which she did for my fic The Wolf and the Dragon. I am up against people with thousands of followers here so if you think one of these fics deserves an awards you're going to have to seriously pimp me out! It's a long-shot but I'm just so happy to have been nominated at all. Check out the nominees at nomineescsfa2016 and there's still time for last minute nominations so if you have a fav fic that wasn't nominated go fix that!