Ah, finally back again! Sorry I'm late guys, I got myself grounded Friday morning, so I couldn't post this when I got back from the football game. In fact...I'm kinda still grounded now... (sly grin) But I told my parents I have homework. Which isn'tnesseccarily a lie...just not the entire truth. (evil smile) Anyway, sorry for being two days late, and for boring you with this lame author's note. That's not why you came here! So, on the the fic! (be prepared to cry...I hope)

Chapter 10: How Can I Move Forward When My Heart is in the Past

"A-aibou…!" Atemu moaned, his heart aching with the knowledge that the entire incident was his fault. "Aibou, I…I'm sorry…" Atemu whimpered quietly, struggling to keep his composure, even though he knew it was in vain. "Aibou…you could never forget me…could you…? The bond we share…could it ever truly leave your heart…?" He sighed, gently clenching his fists as he closed his eyes in defeat. "To…to be honest…whether you remember me or not doesn't matter…not compared to everything else… As long as we're together, we can rebuild our memories and bond… As long as we're together…nothing else matters…"

Atemu knelt down, leaning close, and rested his head on Yugi's chest, hot tears falling down his cheeks, leaving watermarks on his handsome tanned skin. He squeezed Yugi's fist tightly, hoping for what seemed like the hundredth time that Yugi would respond by squeezing back and opening his striking amethyst eyes.

For the hundredth time, he was let down.

Atemu sighed and raised his head, picking up his hand and carefully wiping the tears off his cheeks. He looked into Yugi's eyes, narrowing his own crimson orbs and concentrating as hard as he could on Yugi's thoughts. "Please, Aibou…please answer me…!" He waited a moment, straining his mind for a whisper, even a moan, something to indicate that Yugi had reopened his mind link. Something to show that he was alive…

Atemu quietly moaned as new tears formed at the corners of his eyes, raising a hand to his lips and biting into his flesh, trying to stifle the sounds that were struggling to come out. I'm so sorry, Aibou… I should have helped you…! I knew what was going to happen, why didn't I stop you! I would've broken my promise, but…I'd rather spend eternity gaining back your trust than spend even a moment without you by my side… I couldn't live without you, Aibou…if I'm lucky, I won't have to… Atemu turned to the wall, allowing his mind to wander to the far regions of his soul. Vaguely, he wondered what would happen to him if Yugi were to…leave. He didn't want to have to live another moment with the guilt that overtook his mind and soul, and if Yugi died, he knew he could never forgive himself for the pain he had caused everyone.

Atemu softly moaned, closing his dark crimson eyes, forcing the tears to stop trickling down his cheeks, forcing the ache in his heart to dull, forcing the guilt in his mind to depart. He fell silent, watching as Jounouchi, Anzu, and Honda each sat silently, lost in their own thoughts, lost in the pain that was the absence of their best friend. Atemu raised his head and looked at Anzu, who tightly held Yugi's hand, as if afraid to let go. She looked at Yugi with a kind pity, affection and love showing plainly in her eyes and actions. Tears fell down her light azure eyes, quite in contrast to the expression on her face. She squeezed Yugi's hand tighter, carefully pulling herself close, leaning near her small friend. Her eyes shone with a kind of mysterious hope, as if somehow, someway, she knew Yugi would be okay, and she would be able to see his kind smile again.

Jounouchi, knelt on the other side of Yugi's bed, not even a stifled moan escaping him as a waterfall of tears fell down his light hazel eyes that were just visible over Yugi's scratched arms. No, Jou's pain seemed to be beyond that of words. He posture was that of a broken boy-- no, broken man. Jounouchi had seem more pain and sorrow than most grown men had ever had the misfortune of experiencing.

Silently, Atemu watched as Jounouchi raised his head from Yugi's arm, eyes still glistening with tears, his expression with an emotion that echoed Atemu's-- guilt. Jou's, though, shown with something more, something that dug away at his very soul…anger.

Anger…and revenge.

Behind Atemu, Honda sat on the floor, no emotion showing in his dark brown eyes as tears slowly fell down his face. He was staring at Yugi-- no, past Yugi, his eyes unfocused and dull, and Atemu could practically see the gears working in this mind. Although his eyes showed no pain, the tears falling down his face were hints to the deep torment the teenage boy was feeling. All because of one person's mistake…

"It's all my fault… Their pain…their sorrow…all because of me…" Atemu closed his eyes, trying to force the painful images out of his head so he wouldn't have to feel the horrible pain that filled his soul. Against his will, brief flashes of the other three broken teens found their way into his mind, imprinting their sorrow on thoughts.

Anzu, holding tightly to Yugi's frail hand, tears steadily falling down her light pale cheeks, bright azure eyes fill with a desperate hope as she grasped onto the chance to see Yugi again, even if he wouldn't hold the memories she so deeply cherished.

Jounouchi, silent, for the first time, and looking as though a smile would never grace his handsome face ever again. His expression held a grimace of guilt as he looked at his young friend, but his eyes flashed with a burning anger and flashing determination that Atemu vaguely reminded Atemu of someone.

Honda, eyes completely devoid of emotion, lacking the hope that Anzu held and the fierce determination that captivated Jounouchi. Hope was gone from his once-smiling face, replaced entirely by emptiness and anguish, like there was nothing he could hold on to anymore.

Like nothing would ever be the same…

"I…it's all my fault!" Atemu suddenly cried, baritone voice breaking as the Millennium Puzzle flashed once more, taking Atemu away into the depths of the shadows. As he left, Honda slowly looked up, noticing the sudden burst of light, confusion faint in this eyes.

Atemu appeared in the labyrinth of he Millennium Puzzle, knees drawn up to his chest, back against the cold brick, head thrown back and lightly resting against the cool stone. Tears trickled down his mauve orbs, leaving trails of wetness, but Atemu took no notice, instead focusing his attention on the dark ceiling, lost in his own thoughts of guilt. It's all my fault…everything that happened today…Aibou's pain…if…if he dies…it's…my fault…! He sat there, silent, unable to find the strength to wipe the tears off his cheeks or brush his blonde strands of hair out of is face. Despite the intense guilt he was feeling, Atemu's expression remained blank, showing no insight into the former pharaoh's mind.

"Aibou…" Atemu whispered. "I'll never see you again…will I…? This…this void…I've never felt anything like this before… Ever since we encountered each other, there has always been a strong connection between us, and no matter what happened I always felt you…I always knew you were there… But now…"

He let out a loud sob, bringing his head down and burying it in his knees. "I'm sorry, Aibou…!" He narrowed his eyes, guilt flashing for a brief instant before being replaced by the unfamiliar void that now enthralled Atemu. "No…Yugi…I don't deserve to have you as my partner…!"

He fell silent once again, tears still falling down his cheeks as he allowed his mind to wander.

"Yugi's not going to make it…! He's going to-ahh!"

Honda… Inwardly, Atemu felt a rush of concern for Honda, and for a brief moment considered going to check on everyone. He opened his eyes, preparing to stand up and leave the Millennium Puzzle, when a sudden rush of guilt came over his entire being, overwhelming him. He fiercely shut his eyes once more. I…I can't go…Anything I do…it only causes pain… He sighed, closing his eyes once again and resting his head on the surface behind him. I'm sorry…

"No…"

Jounouchi…? Atemu questioned, snapping open his eyes, surprised at Jou's fierce sounding voice after remaining so secluded since arriving at the hospital. Atemu had never heard Jounouchi sound so…commanding…and besides that, why had Jou spoken so soon after Honda's shout? Did Jounouchi…?

"Don't you see…?" Atemu paused, listening intently to Jounouchi, hoping to find some hint as to what was going on. "Yugi, he…we can't give up on him…" Atemu listened intently, his heartbeat speeding up as Jou spoke so quietly and calmly about Yugi, as if there was nothing in the world but himself and the young, silent boy. "Back…back at Battle City…" Jou slowly continued, Atemu still hanging on to every word. "Do you remember when Malik attacked me…and I almost died?"

Atemu's breath hitched, he knew all to well what Jounouchi meant; and the very mention of it caused memories to rush through his head.

----Flashback----

"Jounouchi-kun, if you die I…" Yugi cried, falling to his knees in his transparent form, landing next the an anguished-looking Atemu.

Atemu painfully brought his hand over to the duel disk that was strapped to his arm, not even hesitating with he turned the high-tech machine off. "I can't fight anymore…" he whispered.

"Please, Jounouchi…please don't die…!" Atemu moaned after a long pause, head buried in his arm, as he frantically tried to stop the tears from falling.

----End of Flashback---- (1)

"Jounouchi…I'm sorry you have to see Yugi like this… I never wanted to have to experience anything like that ever again… But now…" He fell silent as his voice broke, closing his eyes and listening to Jounouchi's heartfelt speech.

"Yugi, he…he always believed I would make it. Even when I was on the brink of death…he always believed I would make it…"

That's true… Atemu slowly said, reminiscing about that horrible day. Even though Aibou's heart was shattered, a small ray of hope always shone through his misery…our misery... We…we both knew Jounouchi would survive.

----Flashback---

"What is a True Duelist(2)?"

"Jounouchi…" Atemu instantly turned his head to the side, eyes opening wide as he heard Jounouchi's familiar voice echoing with the phrase they had both used so often. He stared for a moment, a faint glimmer of hope appearing in his heart, then sighed and turned his head back dejectedly. Perhaps it was just…wishful thinking…he thought to himself. He lowered his head, tears coming to his crimson orbs, when a bright flash attracted his attention.

Atemu looked down, bringing a hand down to his right pocket, which now glowed with a furious intensity that shown through the dark leather of his jacket. "The…the Millennium Necklace…" he muttered to himself, while Yugi's curious spirit looked on, head cocked slightly to the side. "I nearly forgot…perhaps it's trying to tell me something… But…when Isis used it last…the future she predicted was false… Can I…can I trust what it shows me…?"

Another flash, brighter this time, emitted from the Millennium Necklace, completely engulfing Atemu, blinding him with it's severely intense glow. Suddenly, he found himself in an almost empty city street, his cape casually draped around his shoulders as the wind silently blew, causing the garment to gracefully billow with the breeze. Across from him, stood Jounouchi, poised in a intimidating way, duel disk at ready, slightly smirking at Atemu.

"Our Battle City is not yet over," Jounouchi said, still slightly grinning as he brought his hand over to his duel disk..

The Millennium Necklace once again gave and eerie glow, and seconds later Atemu found himself standing in the hospital hallway, as if nothing had happened. He blinked confusingly for a moment, turning to Little Yugi, who also wore a puzzled expression, showing that he too had seen the vision.

Atemu slowly looked down on the Millennium Necklace, while Yugi watched with curiosity. "Was that…a vision of our future…? But, what if…?" he closed his eyes, fist clenching around the gold necklace in his hand, shaking with a livid intensity. "No…" he said, voice growing with new confidence and brimming with determination and trust.. "I believe in this future. I will fight as a True Duelist." Spirit Yugi narrowed his wide shining amethyst eyes, nodding as he merged with his counterpart. The two began to walk down the hallway, walking with a confident poise and dignity that would have been impossible just seconds earlier, preparing to say good-bye to Jounouchi before going on to meet their inevitable destiny. Hopefully, the destiny that would lead to their predicted future.

I believe in this future. I will fight as a True Duelist.

----End of Flashback---

"… That's why I know he'll live!" Jounouchi continued confidently, voice rising as he spoke with sincerity and certainty, as if somehow he knew Yugi would survive. "I believe he'll live, no matter what some quack nurse tells me! You hear me, Yug!" There was a slight pause, and Atemu sat on the cool brick, wondering what had happened. Suddenly, he felt a warmth in his hand, as if someone was gently holding onto it, but he looked down and saw nothing there. Still, the warmth was unmistakable, and Atemu gently squeezed the hand in his, not knowing whether the person would feel it or not. Jounouchi then continued to speak, his voice softening as if he were speaking to a young child, shining with affection and love. "I haven't given up yet…so you shouldn't either. 'Kay, Yugi?(2)" Atemu gently smiled, despite the guilt which still tore away at his soul, hope now greeting that guilt resulting in an overpowering sensation of trust. Closing his dark mauve eyes, he fiercely nodded, silently vowing not to give up hope. I believe in you, Aibou… I believe that destiny wants us to fight on…together.

Atemu felt the warmth in his hand leave, and a moment later, Jounouchi continued once again, voice so quiet that Atemu had to close his eyes and strain his ears to understand. "Don't you see guys…?" he said quietly. "Even…even if he can't remember us… We will be his memories…(3)" Atemu listened, beginning to tear up himself, as he heard the once-strong Jounouchi begin to sob, softly and uncontrollably, so unlike his normal personality.

Atemu stifled a whimper, tightly shutting his eyes as hot tears threatened to trickle down. I don't want to give up…he thought. But…I've never felt like this before. I've never felt so…alone… Like…I would never see you again. He deeply sighed, lost in his own thought, ignoring the conversations that were going on around the room. After a few moments, he heard a gentle knock, apparently coming from Yugi's hospital room. He closed his eyes, listening to the conversation.

They're leaving…he thought. I'm…I'm glad. I don't think I can face them now…they know it was me… They blame me… I just…I just want to be alone…with Aibou…

"Thank you. But…I know Yugi's gonna make it. He'll live, somehow. I know he's gonna live." The kind voice was filled with confident certainty, a determination that came from deep trust and hope. There was no trace of fear in this voice, only love, but if you listened closely enough you could hear a hint of something more…

Jounouchi-kun…you have so much faith… Why can't I believe like you…?

"I know you'll come back, Yugi… Please…don't die…" A gloomy and gentle voice said, dripping with hope and love, as if sorry for doubting.

Anzu-chan…I'm sorry I've caused you so much pain…

"Okay, guys… We better go…we don't want to have those nurses on our case." A broken voice trying to sound strong, but only succeeding in sounding pitiful and blank. It was almost as if the teen was only half-filled, and was unable to sound full without the aid of a friend.

Honda-kun…you're so…empty… Like…you don't trust anymore… If…no, when we see you again, I hope you can forgive me…

Atemu waited for the quiet shuffling to end, so he could finally make his appearance and talk to Yugi one-on-one. He held his breath, vowing to remain strong…for the both of them. I…I believe you'll live, Aibou. I'm just…scared…I don't want to live with out you, Aibou. But I will be strong for you…you would want me to.

Finally, the footsteps faded away, and Atemu slowly evaporated from the Millennium Puzzle, causing it to glow brightly by Yugi's bedside, trembling for a moment before falling dull and motionless once again. Silently, Atemu's transparent spirit appeared by Yugi's bedside, standing with his arms crossed, staring at the small unmoving figure on the bed.

Aibou, I… Atemu began, before his voice broke. His vision closed in on Yugi's torn and burnt clothing, still stained blood red by the relentless and vicious attacks from the ruthless Tomb Thief. The bandage that ran around Yugi's chest was still soaking in blood from the freely bleeding slash, and a few scratches still allowed trickles of blood to run out of them. The bruise under the cut was a dark black and blue color, standing out horribly with the light color of his skin. The small boy's eyes were softly shut, face empty and pale, seemingly holding no memories of the smiles that had constantly graced his beautiful face. At that instant, Atemu broke down.

Something inside young man suddenly shattered, the part of him that had somehow remained strong throughout the entire ordeal, falling apart, leaving him with only a feeling of guilt and despair. Falling suddenly beside Yugi's bedside, the ex-pharaoh reached his hand over and gently grasped his limp hikari's, which was cold, giving no hint of the warmth that had once been there, ever-present.

"Aibou…I'm sorry!" he shouted miserably, a waterfall of tears running down his cheeks, landing on the bed sheets, but leaving no trace afterwards. "It's all my fault! Everything that happened today, it's all because of me!" Atemu lowered his head in misery, allowing it to rest next to Little Yugi's stomach, making sure to be careful to avoid the bruises, even though it didn't necessarily matter. "Hiretsukan(4) Bakura may have been the one who directly attacked you, but…I allowed it to happen… I could've done something -anything- to insure that you remained safe from harm. It was my responsibility…as a partner…and I failed you…"

He raised his head suddenly, shouting at whoever cared to listen. "How could you do this to me! Why did you cause this to happen! What have we ever done to anger you! Why is it always the ones I care about…" he paused for a moment, his voice lowering to a whisper, "who are always the ones who get hurt…? Please…please don't take him… He…he's all I truly have…"

Atemu closed his eyes, suddenly feeling an overwhelming sensation of fatigue and weariness wash over him, and, almost unconsciously, he gently squeezed his aibou's hand in his own. "I'll wait here for you…" he whispered softly. "Please…don't leave me…" As he spoke those final words, he felt exhaustion engulf him, and Atemu fell into an unwilling and restless sleep by Aibou's side. Throughout the night, he tossed and turned in his sleep, moaning and calling out for his fallen partner, constantly traumatized by the nightmares that plagued him. Nightmares filled with emptiness and blackness, and a terrifying sensation of being lost and alone…like he had forgotten who he was…

(wipes tears) That chapter made me sad. I think it's my seond favorite chapter right now (first is chappie 8), because of the flashback with Yugi, Atemu, andJounouchi.Oh, by the way, that whole thing with Jounouchi: never supposed to happen. It was kind of something that just sort of ...happened.Since Jounouchi was the only one who felt as guilty as Atemu, he was the only person who could help Atemu move past it, even though neither of them have truly overcome those feelings yet. All of that really happened, though, it'll be explained in my notes. So, what did ya'll think of it? I know it seemed like I was being a little repetitious, but I feel it was neseccary, so I could capture all of Atemu's trues emotions. I hope ya'll agree.

Notes: (all translations are from Japanese words or episodes)

1) All of the flashback really happened in the anime, it was just cut of out the english version by the dubbers. It was in Episode 128: The Darkness Returns pt.4 (Jounouchi Falls) This is one of my favorite things about the Japanese episodes, because all of the characters are so sad, it's really touching. Now, this has nothing to do with anything (or everything to do with noithing, lol) but I just love this quote by Seto Kaiba. I don't know why...I just do. Anyway, after Jounouchi falls uncouncious, Seto walks up and just kind of stares at Jounouchi. He is thinking "Jounouchi...the way you die- at last i'll recognise yo as a duelist." It just sounds so...cool.

2) A true duelist is a concept completely cut out of the english version, but it plays a huge role in the japanese verison.I don't really know how to explain it... (sigh) If you want more info on it, go to which is where I got all my information on Japanese episodes.

3) Once again, I borrowed this from Episode 52:The Past is Present (TheLost Memory of the Pharaoh)This is also a great japanese ep, mainly because of Yugi and Atemu's conversation.

4) 'bastard'

Oh, and here is the link to my LJ, where your reviews have finally been answered. Just put the w's together, put the 'e' and 'j' together, delete the spaces andadd the 'dots'. That, and this: kaimeitenshi. Thanks again for sticking by me! (huggles)

ww w live journal com/users/kaimeitenshi/