Disclaimer: As before

Author's Note: I feel like I'm always saying it, but I mean it so I'm going to carry on; thank you for taking the time to review, it's great to hear what you think of the story. Sorry it's taken me so long to update, work and life and all has been getting in the way rather. This one is kind of my favourite at the moment, so I guess it's getting a little more than it's share of attention, but I will try to get back to Back to the Beginning soon.

Jake felt Ray's hand resting firmly on his shoulder, and tried to smile. 'Well, I… I didn't have anyplace else to…' he shrugged. He was sort of pleased that he didn't have anyone else to turn to, he liked this guy, almost even trusted him. He felt like with Ray's help, things might end up… okay. It was certainly a feeling he hadn't had in a while.

Then Neela cut across them with a loud snort. Now she knew Jake was all right and not in any danger; there was no question of him having overdosed or beaten up again, she felt a rush of anger against the boy. Ray had tried and tried to help him, and for what? He'd betrayed Ray at the very first opportunity in return for another fix. In her anger, she glossed over the fact that Jake hadn't actually used the drugs he'd taken. And now he was back, goodness only knows what trouble he was going to cause this time.

'Huh, no wonder you didn't have anyplace else to go,' she retorted. 'You've stolen prescription medicines from a hospital, not to mention the wallet of the doctor who was bloody treating you. Forgive me, but I can see why your friend list is a little short right now.'

Her harsh words hit Jake with all the stinging force of an unexpected slap. The truth of what she had said settled like a lead weight in the pit of his stomach and his face crumpled. She was so right, why did he think that anyone would be willing to help him after what'd he'd done? He began wishing that he had never come here; just wandered in the darkness, alone and friendless, just as he deserved to be. Ray, noticing the change, squeezed his shoulder a little harder. 'Neela, don't do this now. It doesn't matter.' He kept his voice quiet and calm; it would do no good if he was drawn into an argument over this.

'I'm sorry, but I think it does. What he did today almost cost you your job Ray.'

On the sofa, Jake opened his mouth to interrupt, to say that he hadn't meant for it to be like that, that Ray had been the first person in forever to actually care and that he would never intentionally betray him, but all that he wanted to say got lost in the storm of Neela's anger.

'And now he says he stole your bloody wallet as well. Were you actually going to tell me that, or did you think that the methadone would be enough?' Her voice was rising with her anger.

'I don't see why you're so angry,' Ray said, although that wasn't entirely true – he did understand to an extent. If this was all happening the other way round, any homeless junkie who was taking advantage of Neela's good nature would be out of their ear fast enough to make their head spin more than any drugs.

But Jake was… was he different? Ray looked down at him for a moment, wondering. He was pale faced, one eyelid still swollen and purple and looked like the scared kid he was. Yeah, he was different. 'Look, Jake's in trouble Neela. Remember that news story this morning, and you said –'

'That's the damn television Ray, this is real life. Next you'll be wanting him to stay here'

Her complete dismissal of his thoughts before they had even fully formed in his mind frustrated and irritated him. 'In real life, kids like Jake need help. I want to help him. And yeah, I do want him to stay here. Where the Hell else is he going to go?'

'Oh, I don't know, back to the hospital? A care home? Down to the local police station?'

Ray had sprung up off the sofa next to Jake now, and he and Neela were facing each other across the room. Her eyes were flashing, and he found his own temper being stretched to breaking. Earlier, she had been so kind, so supportive, when Jake had left. He had been dreading her reaction – as sure of her anger then as he was surprised by it now, but she had said all the right things, eased the pain. Only a few minutes ago, they had been standing on a snowy sidewalk declaring their love for each other. Why couldn't she be like that now?

'The police… Jesus Neela. Don't even say that.'

'Why not? You're not a miracle worker. I think today proved that.' The words were out before she could stop them, and the expression of immense hurt that passed over his face made her feel instantly guilty. She began to take a step towards him but the hurt swiftly transformed and she was beaten back by the angry snarl that replaced it.

'Wow, don't hold back, tell me what you really think!' His voice was snide, sarcastic.

Neela sensed she'd gone too far – she didn't think she had ever heard sarcasm in his tone, but somehow she couldn't pull it all back. There was some irrational part of her that she didn't understand that made her push on. 'What, Ray? You tried your best, but some people just don't want to be helped.'

Jake withdrew back into the sofa, cowering from the argument as best he could. He had thought somehow that he would be safe here, yet this row was every bit the damaging whirlwind that had driven him from home in the first place. As far as Neela's assertion that he didn't want to be helped went; he knew it wasn't true, but nor did he feel he had any right to ask for help. He hadn't done anything to earn it, and why would anyone want to help him?

Yet Ray was defending him.

'He's here, isn't he? Doesn't that say something?'

'Yeah, whatever was in your wallet wasn't enough!'

Jake sank further and further back into the corner of the sofa with every shouted word. This wasn't the couple in the photograph in Ray's wallet; it was two different people entirely, and he had a horrible feeling that it was all down to him. Neela was right, he shouldn't have come here. He tried to get to his feet, but he couldn't summon the effort.

Ray heard his groan. 'Jake, stay there,' he said over his shoulder before facing up to Neela again. There was half a thought at the back of his mind that she looked unbelievably sexy when she was this angry, eyes full of fire and flicking her raven black her over her shoulder agitatedly, but he buried it. He didn't want to forgive her over this.

'That's uncalled for. What is your problem? Just because the poor kid has been chucked into care and driven out of his home… Does he threaten your nice, ordered middle class little world? Too much of an inconvenience for you? Does it scare you to have a junkie in the apartment? What do you think he's going to do?'

'Middle class? An inconvenience? Is that really how you perceive me Ray? Do you honestly think that I am that narrow minded, that uncaring… that…' She was so enraged she lost all eloquence, her words turning into incomprehensible sputters.

'This isn't about you!'

'No, you're right, it's not. It's about you and your bloody recklessness. It's one thing after another with you; are you never going to learn?'

'Learn what? To stop caring? No thanks, I might end up like you,' he retorted.

'Oh, really nice Ray. Cheers for that. All I'm doing is trying to warn you that however much you might want to help, you're going about it the wrong way. We should take him back to the hospital, get him into rehab, not throw open our home to him. What do you want to do – let him have his pick of the valuables, or shall we just go get our chequebooks now?'

'Well, thank you for your support with this Neela,' he snarled.

For a long moment, she stared at him, her eyes boring into his soul. He didn't know what she saw there though, because she spun on her heel and left the room. The door slammed shut very hard.

Once she was gone, Ray stood staring after her for some time. He wanted to feel upset at the row; they had had some bad altercations when they were living together simply as roommates, but nothing that came remotely close to the sheer anger that had left him even now with still shaking hands. It wasn't until he heard Jake shift slightly in his seat that he was drawn from his reverie.

He turned to look at the boy, staring up at him paler than before, and one eye as wide as a saucer, the other empurpled. Sighing, Ray sat next to him. 'I'm sorry you had to see that. I don't know what got into her.'

Jake shook his head, refused to meet Ray's gaze. 'She was right though, I'm not worth the effort. Whenever anything good happens, I always screw it up.'

'I'm sure that's not true.'

'Is it right that you nearly lost your job today because of what I did?'

Ray shrugged. 'She made it sound worse than it was,' he lied.

At that, Jake gave the briefest flicker of a smile. 'I bet she didn't,' he said wryly, and Ray acknowledged him with a tiny nod.

A short silence fell between them, and Ray could hear Neela banging and crashing away in her bedroom. She usually tidied or cleaned when she was angry; it was a habit of hers. It was also his cue to go to her, apologise, smooth things over. Not tonight though.

'How are you feeling now Jake?' he asked gently instead.

'Tired. Rough. Sort of like I got beaten up and drank a bottle of whiskey and ended up unconscious.' They both laughed.

'Well, there could be a reason for that.' Ray looked quickly at the clock. 'Look, it's getting late. I don't really know what's going to happen tomorrow, I've had a crap day and I can't think about it now. I think we all need to sleep.' Unconsciously, he included Neela in that statement. She'd gotten carried away, and he was still angry and hurt, but he knew the fault wasn't entirely hers.

'I… I can still stay here tonight?' Jake sounded surprised.

'Why, did you have other plans?'

'No, of course not, but I thought that after… I don't want to cause any trouble for you, with you and…'

'Neela,' Ray supplied, when he could see that the foreign name had escaped Jake's tired memory. 'Don't worry about her,' he said firmly.

'But that was a pretty horrible argument, and it was about me. I don't want you and Neela to… over me. That would just… That wasn't why I came here.'

'I know it wasn't, don't worry. But you're here now, and you're not going anywhere, not tonight.'

Ray could see that Jake was in need of further reassurance and opened his mouth to say something when they heard a door opening. Instinctively, Ray turned his head towards the sound. Together, they listened in silence as she made her way from the bedroom to the bathroom, Ray noticing her footsteps were a little heavier than usual, but at least she didn't slam the door quite as hard this time.

Once she was finished, and back in her bedroom again, Ray stood up and indicated towards the door. 'All right Jake, bathroom's second on the left. Use my stuff. Give me a shout when you're done and I'll show you where my room is.'

'Your room? I don't mind sleeping on the couch; I don't want to take your bed.'

'It's fine. I don't usually sleep in there anyway. And if she's really mad, a night on the sofa won't kill me.'

He waited until he heard Jake close the bathroom door and turn the key in the lock then crept into his room as quietly as he could. He laid out an old pair of sweats and a t-shirt that Jake could use as pajamas and glanced around the room, kicking a small pile of dirty laundry under the bed.

Then, quickly, he gathered up a few things he had left lying around like his ipod, some signed LPs he had that might be valuable, the watch his father had given him for his graduation and took them through to Neela's room. It wasn't that he suspected Jake would take them, or even that he would be tempted really – Ray was pretty sure that he was past that now – but… he didn't know why he did it. Perhaps some way of proving, to himself as much as to Neela, that he wasn't as stupid or as blind as he appeared. Or maybe it was just to be on the safe side; there was no point in throwing temptation in Jake's path, not now he had come far enough to actually ask for help. He didn't know, but whatever the reason, he felt it would be a good idea.

He wasn't sure how good an idea it was to try to enter Neela's room though. The door was ajar and very slowly he pushed it open. Luckily, she wasn't in there; he cocked his head and heard her in the kitchen, still crashing about, presumably foraging for some food in lieu of the forgotten pizza.

Feeling slightly like he was intruding, even though they as good as shared this room now, Ray quickly stowed the items in the top drawer of the dressing table, poking aside Neela's make-up bag and some jewellery boxes to make room, adding his cellphone and now empty wallet. Then he went back out to Jake.

'All right? That's my room there. If there's anything you need, don't be afraid to ask okay?' Ray looked at Jake, and judged that he could be dying and be too scared to say anything after the earlier altercation. 'I mean it, Neela might be… forthright, but I didn't mean the things I said, about her not caring. She's one of the most caring people I know, and she's been worried about you ever since you went missing. So don't worry about asking if you need anything. And if you're not feeling too good, tell us right away. Remember, you were meant to be staying in the hospital for observation tonight, so I should be keeping a close eye on you. Understood?'

Jake nodded.

'Okay. Night then.'

'Night Ray.' Jake turned towards the door, opened it, then paused. 'Umm… thanks, yeah? For everything.'