10. Meg

"She can't be!" Much's voice echoed across the silent forests. Even the birds had stopped their songs

Robin sighed "Much, I …"

"She can't be!" he turned desperately to Tuck, "Do something!"

"I'm sorry my friend"

"But there must be something. There's always something!" Much looked desperately around for reassurance, but the faces he saw were stony and resigned.

Much's face crumpled as the realisation finally dawned on him, "Oh, Ellie" he sobbed. Tears fell fast and he fell into a pair of outstretched arms.

Robin's.

Allan's feet felt like they had been planted into the ground. He felt like he should move, do something, but he couldn't. There was nothing he could do.

Robin gently moved Much away from the body. They sat at the very edge of the camp, Much still chocking down sobs. Allan decided that the action had a touch of fate about it. He had seen this image many times after the Holy Lands, but it was always the other way around.

Kate and John still possessed the good sense to move. "We should burry her" she whispered.

"We should," agreed John. "Give him time," he continued with a nod to Much, "help me with this"

Allan saw him reach down and picked up a cloth. It was still streaked with blood from the night before. He dipped it in the clean water Allan had brought back and handed it to Kate. She nodded her understanding.

Tuck was still standing over the body, his eyes glazed and his face a little ashen. If he didn't know better, Allan would say he was in a state of shock.

"You did everything you could" Allan heard his voice speak out

Tuck turned to look at him, gave him a slight nod, and then moved away from the body. Allan remained still.

John looked a little awkward. He held a cloth in his hands but didn't seem to know what to do with it. Kate too seemed uncomfortable, wringing the cloth out a few too many times. He saw their intent and understood.

"Wash the arms first" he said very quietly, making Kate jump, "Then the legs, the neck and the face" Allan said remembering the order in which they had cleaned Marion's body before her funeral with a slight twinge.

It had seemed odd at the time, that he of all people had helped with such a macabre task. But Djaq needed the help and the others were in too much of a state to do anything. So he had helped wash the blood from Marion's skin. The image of her blood on his hands haunted him to this day. But he was never sure why.

Kate scrunched the cloth in her hands and then gently placed it on the shoulder. Carefully she moved the cloth down the arm leaving a thin sheet of water on the skin.

Allan stomach lurched and he turned away. Taking a deep gulp of forest air he looked over to the edge of the camp. Much was still leaning on Robin but his sobs had quietened.

Not quite knowing what to do with himself, Allan put one foot in front of the other and started to move towards them. He just wanted to get away from the body. The sight of it was making his stomach churn but the rest of him felt completely numb. This wasn't even how he felt when Marion died. This was different. Allan couldn't decide if this feeling was worse.

He stopped as he felt something soft under his foot. He looked down to see a red scarf. It was sullied now, stained with mud and splatterings of blood. But it was still hers. It was still Ellie's.

None of the others noticed him bend down and scoop the garment into his shaking hands. Nor did they see him quietly slip from the camp.

It was only when he was out in the dappled light of the forest, holding the red scarf in his slightly trembling hands that the overpowering numbness subsided. A wave of grief and senseless guilt came crashing down on him, and all he could do was cling onto the scarf as if it would stop him from drowning. He sank to the forest floor, lent his back against a tree and for the first time in an age, he cried.

He didn't know how long he had been sitting outside the camp when John, Tuck and Robin emerged. They were all carrying spades and grim faces.

Robin cleared his throat "Were going to find a spot to…" he looked down and the spades

Allan quickly dabbed his eyes and nodded.

They turned to go

"Wait!" Allan called out, "Go to the lake. She liked it there"

Robin nodded and turned to leave once more

"There's another…" Allan continued, "another grave, looking out on the lake, in a clearing facing west"

"Sounds…" Robin looked like he was about to say 'nice' but the word didn't seem to fit.

"Do you want to come with us?" John suggested

"Who's with Much?" Allan suddenly remembered that at least one of them should be looking out for him

"Kate is" Tuck answered

"Do you think that's wise?"

Robin looked sheepishly at the ground.

Allan sighed, "I'll stay with him. Need to give him this any way" he bundled the scarf into his hands and walked back into the camp

Much was still sitting at the far end. His eyes were red and fixed and his skin was still the colour of ash. Kate was sitting a little way off from him. Allan wondered if she was about to reach out and touch him.

"Kate" Allan's voice sounded cracked and strained

She looked at him with surprise. He gave her an 'I need a word' look. Kate seemed reluctant to oblige and she rolled her eyes as Allan moved her to the opposite end of the camp.

"Kate" he said in hushed tones, "Could you make something to eat?"

She raised her eyebrows, "Do it yourself"

"Kate, I'm being serious"

"You think that because the others have gone you have the right to boss me around?"

"No. I think that because of the hurt and pain you've caused Much in the last few weeks, regardless of his feelings, you are the last person that should be around him right now."

Kate's face flushed and her eyes shone.

Allan sighed, "Look Kate, I'm sorry. It was wrong of me to say that…"

"No" she interrupted quietly, "You're right… You are completely right"

She drifted away from him leaving Allan with a heavy feeling of guilt in his stomach. Well, at least he didn't feel numb anymore.

He walked quietly over to where Much was sitting. He picked a spot that was close, but not intruding and sat also. There was an uncomfortable moment in which Allan wondered if he should say something. But how could he speak in a situation like this? Instead he kept his mouth shut, and let the silence wash over them both.

"Say something" Much spoke so suddenly it made Allan jump

"Like what?"

"Anything"

Allan racked his brains but all he could think about was the body and the grave being dug for it. He looked around desperately for something.

"There's a mist settling" Allan cursed himself as he said it. Talking about the weather of all things.

"Oh… That's unusual" Much didn't look up from his hands. Allan had the feeling that if he had even said something truly incredible, like 'Djaq and Will are back from the Holy Land', Much still wouldn't have looked up. But there was an idea.

"Do you ever wonder what Djaq and Will are doing these days?" Allan tried to make his voice sound lighter, less grave.

"Sometimes" Much replied, "I think about the Holy Land a lot"

Allan thought about steering the conversation away when Much added, "It's a shame Marion had to be buried there"

This was not the way the conversation should be going but Allan could not stop the grieving man, "I'm glad that Ellie will get to…"

He trailed off, eyes flicking to the white sheet that covered the body

Much stood up very suddenly, "Primroses" he announced, "I need primroses"

He strode purposefully out of the camp, not even glancing at the body as he passed it. Allan quickly got up to follow him. "Hey, Much" he called out, but the other man was already bounds ahead of him.

"What did you say?" asked Kate in acid tones as he brushed past her. But he was too worried about Much to try and explain himself to her.

Much continued to march through the undergrowth and Allan had to run to catch up with him.

"Primroses, there must be primroses" he muttered to himself

"Whoa mate, hang on!" Allan called after him

Much soon reached a bank near the lake where the yellow and purple flowers grew in abundance. He stooped and roughly tugged a handful from the mossy earth.

"Yellow, her favourite. Bright like the sun"

"Much listen…"

"No!" Much turned to him his eyes suddenly wild, "Marion was buried in cold dark sand. I will not let that happen again!"

"Alright… alright, listen. I'll help you pick the flowers." He tugged at a handful, but was careful not to damage the petals.

"Were going to do this properly," Much said with authority, "She was my sister, Allan. We're going to do this properly"

They worked in silence. Allan was relived to see that out of the stale air of the camp, Much did not look so grey anymore, and though his eyes were red he no longer sobbed.

They stayed until their hands were full of flowers and the light began to fade. The mist that settled had become thick and unyielding, but their mood was less melancholy. Much's desire for a proper burial had apparently taken the edge of his grief, and Allan's numbness had been replaced with a general feeling of exhaustion.

They were both grateful to return to the camp. Kate had made something to eat, and the others were back, sitting around their comforting fire.

None of them thought of sleeping that night; it didn't quiet seem right. There were no more sobs from anyone, no arguments or scathing comments either. Though none of them laughed, there was an incredible sense of peace, like someone was watching over them, protecting them from the grief.

Somehow Allan found himself being shaken awake. So he had slept after all. The fire had burnt down to embers and there was very little light. The mist from the day before was still lying thick and stale in the trees.

Kate stood by the body, clasping some primroses and John and Tuck were putting the finishing touches to a stretcher. Much was curled up beside the fire, a blanket thrown over his sleeping form. Allan smiled as he realised that the blanket was Robin's.

Allan stretched his aching limbs and wandered over to Kate. He meant to apologise for what he had said before but stopped when he reached the body.

It had been dressed in a dark green robe that, for the most part, covered the ugly scars that had been the source of so much pain. The hair had been brushed and carefully braided. Kate leaned down and laced a yellow flower through the strands of gold hair.

"Kate…"

She turned to him, but not in anger. Allan smiled weekly at her, not quite knowing what to say. She nodded her forgiveness at him and moved to where Robin was standing in steely concentration. His thoughts were somewhere else, like they often were since the Holy Land.

Ellie looked very pretty, laid out in the green robe. Although her skin was pale and sallow his hands itched to reach out and brush his fingers along her cheek. Her eyes were closed but seemed almost ready to snap open, as if from sleep.

A heavy had was placed on his shoulder. Allan turned to see Tuck standing over him.

"We're ready," he said simply.

"How is Much?" Allan's concern was deeper then he thought it would be.

"Robin woke him up a moment ago. He is as well as can be expected."

Allan nodded at the evasive answer.

Allan took a deep breath "Are you going to read prayers?"

"Do you think she would want it?"

"I don't know. I didn't really know her that well"

"You knew her better then anyone else here" Tuck spoke simply

Allan looked down at the body. How should he know what she wanted?

"She was very attached to you I think," Tuck continued, "Maybe it would be better if you said something"

Allan thought back to Marion's funeral. He tried to remember the words they had spoken but some how it had all melted into one big painful blur. Allan was sure that no words in the world would suffice to describe the pain he felt at Marion's murder. Ellie's death was different. What should he say?

But then again, was her death really different? A Gisbourne had murdered Ellie too. She was alone when she was hurt just like Marion had been. And Ellie had fought on, making nothing of her wounds like he was sure Marion would have done had she not been so badly hurt.

They weren't that different at all.

It was Much, Allan, Tuck and John who carried the body to the grave. The makeshift stretcher John had constructed in the night was strewn with yellow petals. Ellie's body lay stiffly on it, the green cloak that Kate had wrapped her in blending with the ferns and brackens.

Allan smiled when he saw the spot the others had picked. It was near where he had suggested, in a clearing facing west, out onto the lake.

He had noticed the other, fresh grave there only once before. He had guessed that it was the grave of a villager, to poor to pay the church tax for their grave. This place was just as holy, if not more so.

A thin cross made of two willow twigs marked the heap of earth and it was only now that Allan noticed the small glitter of a gem left hanging around it. This was not the grave of a pauper, Allan decided. But then, who's was it?

The grave Robin and the others had dug was a few feet away from the other. The cross that John had made for it was slightly more substantial. The grave was covered with petals, just like the stretcher on which they carried the body. Allan could only guess that Much had snuck here in the night to leave the petals for his sister.

They laid her into the ground in holy silence. There were no tears any more, just a heavy stillness that weighed as thickly on them as the surrounding mist. There was a leaden pause in which no one seemed to know what to do or say.

Allan took a deep breath, determined to break the silence.

"Ellie" he said willing his brain to come up with something to describe how he felt, "we didn't know you for very long, but… we know this. You were kind and forgiving… fiercely loyal and determined. You did not disserve the things you suffered and yet you bore the with such goodness that we were all amazed. We… I wish that I had more of a chance to know you…

"Ellie… you were loved. You and your brother shared such a special bond that some of us could not help but be amazed. And we loved you too, and could have grown to love you more. You were part of the family Ellie, and we will remember you so.

"We will look back on the time we knew you with happiness, even though you have left us in sorrow. But you would not want us to be sad on your account. I am not as religious as I aught to be, but I am sure you are in heaven now, where you disserve to be…

"So… goodbye Ellie… and know that… that" for some reason, Allan's throat had become all tight and sore. He tried to force the words out, but they wouldn't come

"We'll miss you," a quiet voice continued. Allan looked around to see Much looking deep into the grave.

"We will" Kate agreed with a nod

"She was a good person," Tuck continued

"Her, we liked" John added with a smile

Robin placed his hand comfortingly on Much's back, "Ellie; you were a sister and our friend"

There was a muttering of agreement around the grave. Much stepped forwards and put his hand on the cross. He tenderly dug something out of his pocket.

Allan took the opportunity to help the others fill in the grave. It didn't seem right to let the distraught brother watch the filling in of his sister's grave. But, even though he had no right to, Allan still felt a very tight knot in his chest as he watched Ellie's form disappear under the dark earth.

They had quaried several large black stone from the lake and even Kate helped pile the heavy stones onto the earth. They were still wet from where they had been dug out of the lake by John. It was a nice idea, as it marked the grave clearly and seemed to offer a protecting case. They took a step back and observed their work.

Much was still at the cross, winding a string around it carefully. Allan saw with a pang that it was the tag Robin had given Ellie the night she died. Much lent forwards and lightly placed a kiss on the top of the cross.

"Goodbye Ellie" he whispered.

John and Tuck didn't stay at the grave very long. They had to carry on their work and the villagers of Clun would starve if they didn't get the food John had been hoarding for them. Allan felt very awkward standing at the grave, but when they asked if he would like to go with them he heard himself answering no.

Kate and Robin talked in very low whispers on the edge of the clearing. Allan wandered if they were arguing and his thoughts seemed confirmed when Kate left, quite noisily, in the direction of the camp. Robin walked slowly towards Much and whispered something in his ear. Much nodded, but didn't say anything.

"I'm going for a walk," Robin said to Allan

"In this fog?" Allan asked quietly

Robin shrugged, "I'll be back at camp in a bit"

Allan watched Robin's form disappear quickly in the greyish fog, leaving him alone with the grieving brother.

"You can go to" Much said, without looking up, "I don't mind"

"I'd like to stay here, if that alright"

Allan saw Much's shoulders sag with a sigh

"What you said… it was really pretty" Much continued after a while, "I think Ellie would have liked it"

Allan couldn't think of anything to say in return. He just stared into the fog and the dark expanse of trees.

To the north, a light breeze had blown the mist thin and he could make out the green of the bracken and the tall willow trees near the lake. A thin shadow of mist remained caught, winding around the branches.

But was that mist? The more Allan looked the less like mist it looked. The shadow seemed almost solid and the form was almost shaped like a figure.

It moved lazily in and out of the willow branches. And then it turned, and with incredibly accuracy stared at him.

The figure was the same colour as the mist except for the head, which seemed to be covered in gold. Allan could see little yellow flecks of something that could have been petals. The more he looked, the more he could see. The figure was staring at him, and it was smiling.

It was Ellie.

Allan was sure of it, and he wanted to call out. But although his lips moved, no sound came out. Ellie saw this, raised a finger to her lips and smiled. She put her hands on her heart and looked from him to her brother. She was trying to tell him something. What was it? I love you..?

The sound of a jaybird's song seemed to startle her. She looked into the trees, silently laughing. Allan heart swelled to see her so happy and he looked also, trying to find the bird that had given her so much joy. There he was, high in a tree, his feathers glowing blue and gold. Ellie always did like to hear the birds sing…

But when he looked back at the willow tree she had gone.

Allan was suddenly aware of a cold northerly wind. It rustled the trees making the leaves chatter noisily.

Much looked up, his hair slightly ruffled by the same breeze.

"Feel that?" he smiled slightly "I think it might be Ellie. Maybe she's saying goodbye" Much sighed

Allan tuned his face into the breeze

"Yes, I think she is"

They stood for a while, both smiling as the breeze played around them, until it softly died away. The Jay bird continued to sing, but it's voice was quieter and further away this time.

But now, Allan didn't feel so bad. In fact his heart was so much lighter then before. The wind had blown his grief away, of so it seamed.

"Come on Much" Allan placed a hand on Much's shoulder, "We should go home"

The other man nodded his head slightly and turned away from the grave. Allan found his eyes drifting back to the willow tree. Was it Ellie that he had seen, or was it just a trick of the light? He shrugged, he'd probably never know.

He kept his hand resting protectively on Much's shoulder as they moved away from the clearing. The breeze continued to blow swirling the fog around the two friends in a greyish embrace. It rose and darted among the tress, shaking the branches softly. Browning leaves rained softly down to carpet the fresh mounds of earth in gold and green. With a final breath, the wind pushed the fog away to leave a bright stream of sunlight dappling through the leaves.

The mist was beginning to clear, and somewhere, deep in the forest, a bird was singing…

Authors Note

So there you have it, the end to this saga. And the beginning scenes of ep 10, if you squint. This has been an incredible joy to writ and I can't quite believe it's over. My hugest thanks go to all those who reviewed this fic since it first started as an experiment so many months ago. Also thanks to Experimental Madness who has been looking over my work. I plan to re edit this work some time after Christmas through her encouragement. I've learnt so much! Also, thanks to my long-suffering friends (god this is starting to sound like an Oscar speech isn't it!) and of course, to all you dear readers, be you reviewer, subscriber or dabbler.

That's thanks to; ArodieltheElfofRohan, LoveJoe, togo65, skwid, fireheart93, pirateforever204, Lady Chekov, RobinHood-Kate-LUV, SilentDarkness101, fireheart93, Soapy-Liedown and Vida Loca!
:-)

So there is little left for me to say except, I've loved writing this and hope to see you soon on another fic. X

Ps. All right, so I may have lied. This isn't actually the end for Ellie. There is one more chapter, which will either be published on the end of this fic or as a stand-alone. Stay tuned!- sorry, couldn't resist. X