Hey guys.
Sorry it took so long to upload this chapter. I got struck down with the flu which meant I had to take time off work. As soon as I was better I had to make up the time I'd missed. So between feverish delirium and work, I didn't get much writing down. It sucked.
I wrote an longer chapter to try make up for my absence, but I wrote it so fast spelling mistakes are a given.
I can't assay this enough, so I'm going to say it again, but thanks to everyone whose read, reviewed, favourited and even looked at my story. You guys rock.
Hope you all enjoy.
Alex POV:
Alex's chest was rising and falling faster than normal; her breathing slightly accelerated by her companions continued insistence on playing with her earring. With an arm around her shoulders, his fingers reached up to tug and tease her, brushing against the lobe and outer shell of her ear, ghosting along her neck. She had to physically fight to suppress the shiver winding its way down her spine. It would be an extremely dumb move to show that he was affecting her in any way, for so many reasons.
This was a mission; every touch, smile, caress was for the mission.
God damn it!
And thank God, all the same.
Sean was sitting at the bar watching them, his eyes glacial. Owen seemed oblivious to the glaring, but Alex wasn't fooled. She knew the two of them had words before they'd even been assigned to work together. Neither of them would tell her what it was about. There was also a tell-tale bruise along Sean's jaw line and Owen winced slightly when ever he moved his left arm. If Alex had to guess she would say bruised ribs were to blame. The whole thing was driving her crazy.
It had all started when Alex finally gave Owen an answer to the issue of moving in. She'd been glad when Nikita's knocking had interrupted her and Owen's conversation. She needed more time to think. Alex had been so happy to see Nikita. It had felt good to acknowledge the distance that had been occurring between them - not that it was on purpose on either part. It was also nice to talk to Nikita the way they'd used too. Both woman had sat in the sitting room, leaving Michael and Owen to entertain themselves in the kitchen and just talked for a couple of hours.
Eventually Nikita had to leave though, but only after they had made firm plans to have dinner later on that night, just the two of them. And of course...
"I wasn't going to ask," Nikita began, looking past Alex to make sure the men were out of hearing distance. "But, Owen?"
"Right time, right place," Alex answered quickly, a little too quickly. Nikita eyes her shrewdly, Alex could see the cogs turning in her head. She needed to distract her and fast, before Nikita started asking too many questions. She said the first thing that popped into her head. "Owen needs a place to stay and I have a spare room. I thought he could stay here."
Alex hadn't even realised she'd come to a decision until it came spewing from her mouth. She wasn't even sure why she was saying yes, but it felt like the right thing to do. She didn't want to relapse and Owen was right, she needed someone there for her, even if she would never admit that out loud. Nikita looked bemused by her outburst, before she smiled and nodded her head.
"That's a good idea. Own could do with someone around him. His been isolating himself a lot lately. This could just be what he needs."
It was Alex turn to feel bemused. She hadn't thought of it that way. That even if he was helping her, she was also helping him. It helped her to stop second guessing her decision so much. It also didn't go amiss that after Michael and Nikita left, Owen had stood in her hallway and looked at her with those piercing blue eyes, words flowing from his mouth that made Alex's heart constrict and expand in equal measure.
"I'm sorry Alex. I shouldn't have made it sound like I was commanding you to let me stay. It should be your choice. I just want to help." Owen had smiled ruefully then, his hand moving to rub the back of his head. "Besides, you'd be doing me a favour by getting me out of Division. The walls seem to be closing in around me and if I don't get out of there soon..."
He trailed off, but held her gaze, his eyes betraying the depth of his emotions. He was letting her have a glimpse of his own dark place and Alex felt her's answering back. He understood the complexities of her messed up psyche, even if his experiences were different. That was why he was giving her the control, why he wasn't forcing her, because he could. If he really wanted, he could just bribe her. Tell her that he would confess all to Nikita and she wouldn't hesitate to do and say whatever he wanted just so that it could stay their secret. She was confident he wouldn't, because despite all that he had done for Percy, he was a good man.
Alex knew right then that Owen could become someone she could count on. Someone she could trust to have her back always. In their line of work that was hard to come by. She just hoped that there doubts and demons didn't get in the way.
That was eight weeks ago, but it seemed like forever. He had moved in that evening, while she was out having dinner with Nikita. It was a little wired at first, but they had quickly developed an easy friendship. She especially loved it when he cooked, which he did nearly every night. There conversations came easily and Alex found herself looking forward to getting home after work just so she could sit, eat and talk with Owen.
That didn't mean that Sean still wasn't on her mind. It wasn't something she could forget, but she didn't want to make the first move again, just to get rejected. She wished he'd call so they could talk, but it was a month and half before he made contact again.
Alex was still looking into the mole, her time in the field restricted until her arm was a hundred percent. Owen had insisted she take a break to heal properly before she did anymore damage to her shoulder. He had also looked into some exercises she could do to help strengthen it and made sure she did them every evening. She was starting to feel more and more like the person she wanted to become. She knew it wasn't going too be a smooth journey, but she was more confident that she could weather the storm. Owen was helping her see that.
Alex was frustrated with the lack of leads in relation to the mole. They had been inactive for the last two months, but there was something off though. Something Birkhoff wasn't telling her, but she didn't want to go accusing him of anything. She knew he wasn't the mole. He would never do that. But he had information he wasn't sharing and Alex would have to let Nikita know before too long. She just wanted to give Birkhoff the chance to come forward himself. So she concentrated on going through the files about the Dirty Thirty and trying to figure out what it was she wanted to invest her time in outside of Division. So far she hadn't found anything.
While Alex was dealing with all that, Owen had been on a mission of his own. He was gone sporadically, usually for about two days at a time. Alex never worried - too much - when he left, because he was always back before she could work herself up. They had been living together for over a month and a half, when he disappeared for five days.
On the first day, she had missed his company and his cooking. On the second, she'd been looking forward to the following day, because it meant he'd be home. On the third, she told herself that he was delayed, that there was nothing to worry about. On the fourth, every possible worst-case scenario played out in her head, all ending with Owen dead somewhere. She didn't sleep that night. On the fifth day, she was the midst of calling Nikita and demanding they go look for him when he walked in the door.
Alex wasn't sure whether she wanted to beat him or hug him. In the end, there wasn't a contest. Owen looked drained. He had dark circles under his eyes, his movements weary, his shoulders slumped. It looked like the weight of the world had settled there, causing them to droop. She was across the room, her arms wrapped around him in a matter of seconds. He sagged against her and it was all Alex could do to keep them both upright.
"Owen," she whispered in his ear, her hand automatically tangling in his hair. "Let's get you to bed."
Alex desperately wanted to know what had caused Owen's current state, but she wasn't going to start asking him questions now, when he couldn't even stand by himself anymore. So, with a lot of stumbles and fumbles, she finally got him to his bed. She sat him down on the edge, before kneeling to take his shoes and socks off. Owen watched her the whole time, but his face was a blank canvas. Straightening, she unzipped his jacket and pulled it off. She held in a gasp when she saw the mess that was the remains of his t-shirt. It was covered in dirt and a lot of blood, shredded in places.
Alex hands started exploring Owen's chest for signs of a wound that could cause that much bleeding. The frantic worry on her face must have sparked something in Owen's mind, because he shackled the wrists of her wandering hands, with his own.
"It's not mine." Even Owen's voice was devoid of emotion.
Worry for his mental health, and because she needed to pull him back from the edge as quickly as possible, spurred her into action. She gently pulled her hands out his grip, pulled off his t-shirt and tossed it across the room. She took his face in her hands and made him look at her.
"Owen, I need you to come back," she softly demanded. "You need to fight against your mind's urge to shut down." Without thinking, she straddled him and pulled him into her embrace, pressing his face against her neck. Maybe being close physically would help anchor him in reality. Maybe...
"Owen," she called again, trying to reach him. She ran her hand up and down his back, the other stroking his neck. "I need you to come back. Please, whatever happened, your stronger then this."
Alex kept talking to him, trying to break through. She didn't know how long they sat there, before Owen finally responded. It was only a small movement at first, his nose brushing against the side of he neck. Alex gasped, as all of a sudden, his hands were on her hips, dragging her closer, causing her back to arch slightly. There was not an inch of space separating their bodies.
Owen's body shuddered, once, twice, as whatever horror gripped him worked its way out of his system.
Alex couldn't help but think that this was becoming a pattern of theirs. When he hurt, she comforted. When she hurt, he comforted. It was almost like they were a couple of some sort, but she discarded that thought as soon as it entered her head. She and Owen were friends. That was it. Even if they had this odd connection, this understanding that went deeper then she ever expected. She didn't know how, but Owen's friendship had become a vital part of her life. She didn't want to lose him and feelings of a romantic kind would complicate everything. So friends they would remain. Extremely close friends, who cuddled on occasion.
Owen's hand's had found there way under her top, fingers splayed across her back. They stayed like that for the rest of the night, until someone started knocking at the door.
Alex glanced over at Owen's clock; seven a.m. Who was knocking on her door at this hour? Owen lifted his head to meet Alex's questioning gaze. He shook his head indicating, he had no idea was it was either. Alex made a move to get up and answer the door, but Owen grabbed her around the waist, lifted her off his lap and placed her on the bed.
"Stay here. I'll see who it is," Owen said, gestured for her to stay put.
Alex had never been good at following orders.
Owen had already answered the door by the time Alex entered the hall. She could see the gun he hid behind the door, but he was blocking her view of who it was that had knocked. Owen's muscles were tensed, as if he was getting ready for a fight.
"You must be Sean," Owen growled, "the elusive boyfriend."
Well, crap! Owen would have to be the one to answer the door to Sean and shirtless none the less. Alex wanted nothing more then for the earth to open up and shallow her whole. Anything to escape this situation.
"Who are you?" Sean sounded angry. She could only imagine the thoughts going thought his head right now. A strange man was answering his kind-of-girlfriend-but-not-sure-because-we-haven't-actually-talked-about-it door. That thought spurred Alex into action and she rapidly made her way down the hall and tried to take the gun from Owen's hand. Owen shot her a look over his shoulder, even as he held the door partially closed so that Sean couldn't see in.
"Let me talk to him," she mouthed at Owen, trying to shove him out of the way. When that didn't work, Alex resorted to glaring at him.
"Seriously man, who are you? Where is Alex? If you've hurt her or done anything to her, I swear I'll kill you!" Owen didn't even bother to look back at Sean while he spoke, but continued his silent battle with Alex.
"Please Owen," Alex finally pleaded, knowing she'd never win against the stubborn man, not with the mood he was in right now anyway. Owen frowned, took a deep breath and stepped aside, but not before he turned back to Sean.
"You hurt her again, I'll kill you." Owen's voice took on a deadly edge, causing a spike of fear in both Alex and Sean for different reasons. Then he pulled the gun out of Alex's grip, stalked down the hall and into his bedroom.
Alex breathed a sigh of relief, her body relaxing. That had been close. She had known that Owen would look after her, but his protective instincts had surprised her and if she were honest, warmed her from the tips of her toes to the top of her head.
"Alex?" And she tensed back up all over again. Sean had pushed open the door while she was distracted. He stood in front of her, looking confused. "Who was that?"
"Owen," she answered, seeing no point not too.
"Owen?" Sean thought for a second, a range of emotions crossing his face, as he tried to place Owen. Finally he frowned, his eyes narrowing. "Wait, tell me that's not Owen Elliot, Alex. Tell me that you don't have a Cleaner living in your house!"
Alex frowned back at Sean. The cleaner thing was easy. Sean had access to the personnel files at Division and he would have studied every one of them. Know your enemy and all that. But how did he know Owen was living with her? She opened her mouth to ask him, but he was already talking.
"Spies gossip," Sean supplied readily. "When I was at Division the other day, I overheard someone say that you had a male agent living with you. I wanted to check that you were ok. I didn't think it would be him."
"Let me get this straight. You hear that there is a man living in my apartment and that is what prompts you to call round." Alex was pissed. "Not the fact that we haven't spoken in over a mouth and have all these unresolved issues that we could have been working on if you weren't such a stubborn ass!"
"I didn't mean it like that," Sean had the decency to look contrite, but Alex wasn't finished. Not by a long shot.
"Doesn't matter how you meant it. You tell me you love me, give me an ultimatum, and then decide that's it. Because I won't give you exactly what you want right then and there, that means we're over. Did you even read my file, Sean? Huh? If you had then you would understand that relationships of any kind are hard for me, but obviously you were so wrapped up in your own hurt feelings to consider what could be holding me back."
Alex was breathing hard by the time she finished ranting, her anger setting her face on fire. Sean was staring at her helplessly, clearly at a loss for what to say. The rage suddenly drained out of Alex and she slumped back against the wall. She was tired. Bone tired. Tired of having to be strong, tired of fighting, tired of having to explain her frightened reactions to normal actions, like being told that she was loved.
"Alex, I'm...I'm sorry..." Alex shook her head. She wasn't in the right frame of mind to talk to him properly. She wanted to sort things out, she did. But her head was pounding and she couldn't think straight.
"I can't talk right now Sean," Alex felt as weary as Owen had looked last night. "I think you should leave."
Sean nodded reluctantly, his movements stiff as he headed towards her door. His hand on the door handle, he turned back to look at her. "I am sorry Alex and I came over here today to tell you that I wanted things to work between us. Just don't give up on me, even though I have been acting like an ass. I'll make it up to you, if you give me a chance."
Alex felt tears well up in her eyes, even as she nodded, acknowledging his words. Sean gave her a small smile, walked out the door and shut it behind him.
A small sob escaped Alex, before she could get herself under control. Scrubbing at her face, she wandered down the hall, passing Owen's room in the process. His door was slightly ajar, he must have heard every word. Alex paused on the threshold of her bedroom, glancing back at Owen door. It was strange, the urge she had to seek out Owen's comfort, when she'd just being fighting with a man who told her he loved her and wanted to work on their relationship. But she had sent him away...
Alex's head and heart were seriously messed up.
Making a snap decision, she walked back to Owen's door. She continued internally debating her decision, even as she pushed open his door and entered his room. He was lying on his stomach again, his face turned away.
"I don't bite," Owen rumbled sleepily, making Alex jump. She had remained standing by the door, shifting her weight from foot to foot, unsure of how to proceed. "Just get in, Alex."
That was what she needed to hear. It snapped her out of her daze. She got under the covers and because she was feeling out of whack, she used the spot between Owen's shoulder blades as her pillow. She wanted comfort and she wanted it from him.
Alex refused to look at that too closely.
Two weeks later, she and Sean had yet to talk. At least not properly. He had been called away for a few days and by the time he got back, they were all prepping for Operation Stand. Sean had not been pleased with the way the mission roles had been doled out. Alex, Owen and Sean were part of a retrieval team. They were to capture Kristen Stand and bring her directly back to Division. Sean was the loner at the bar, the man to approach the target when she got here. Alex and Owen were the happy couple and back-up, in a secluded corner of the pub, facing the door. Alex was tucked into Owen's side, her hand resting on his knee, her head against his shoulder. She was playing her part, but she wasn't enjoying making Sean so miserable.
She also wasn't enjoying the way her body felt, pressed against Owen's or the way he couldn't seem to stop touching her, his other hand having started tracing circles and patterns along the inside of her arm. She couldn't quite bring herself to believe her own thoughts.
Alex's stomach twisted in discomfort. She was so confused about Sean and Owen that was making herself physically ill. She drew her thoughts back to the mission so that should have something other than boy troubles to focus on.
The whole thing didn't sit right with Alex. The number that Nikita had received from Styles was an old one, with Division coding, registered to Kristen. Birkhoff found three Kristen's in the system. One was dead, one was a member of Division medical personnel and still in employment. The last Kristen, Kristen Stand, was missing in action, presumed dead. From experience, Alex knew that didn't necessarily mean anything.
According to her file, Kristen Stand was twenty-seven, tall, with medium length brown hair and brown eyes, she had been arrested for murdering her drug dealer boyfriend five years ago and recruited into Division. Michael didn't remember ever training her. That, in itself was strange. But, when you add that to the fact that Kristen's file ware bare except for the above information and there was no picture for them to go on, it was all very Percy. Or maybe Amanda. They both liked their secrets.
A whole host of questions had arisen from this. They only had the bare minimum of information on the Division agent and that called for some recon. They needed to know exactly what they were walking into.
After all, it could be a trap.