Brendan couldn't shake the feel of uneasiness while he stepped back outside from the publisher house. He tried to tell himself it was just the fact that he had to be apart from Steven, now when he was so used to stay by boys side almost 24/7. Maybe it was because of Douglas, who might do try something now when he was alone with Steven. But deep down Brendan didn't believe that. He had seen the look on Douglas's face, and there was nothing challenging or threatening there. That tiny American wasn't like Noah trying to slither his way into Steven's life again, but the yank had accepted that he would never have any chance with the lad.
No, it was something else, the weird feeling of threat. Brendan stood near the entrance for a long time, kept on eye for the people entering and exiting, watching the guards through the glass door before he realised how suspicious he might look. He walked slowly back in to his car, not knowing what the hell he was supposed to do now. There was no way he would leave too far from the building, in case Steven needed him.
His phone rang and he quickly grabbed it from his pocket, sure it was Steven calling him, but it was just Cheryl name flashing on the screen. Brendan swallowed his disappointment and answered.
"Hey, sis."
"Hello you. How are things going? Everything okay with you and Ste?"
"Everything is grand. Being busy with Steven's work, you know." Brendan unlocked his car and got in. At least chatting with Cheryl would past some time. "How are you? Any words from Nate?"
"Urgh, not much, he keeps saying he misses me but he's still too wrapped up with his mothers business to make a proper move. What is it with you men, saying one thing but your actions not matching up? But I had another date with mister Dreamy yesterday and he seems like a catch, so Nate's better make up his mind soon. Anyways," she changed her tone to more cheerful one, "there was actually a reason to call you, other than go over my poor dating stituation. You haven't replied to my email about the concert I was thinking to take Deccy in and the tickets need to be booked soon before they sell out and -"
"Chez, what email? I haven't gotten anything." Brendan hadn't got any alerts lately.
"I'm sure I send you a link, check again."
"Okay, okay. Just wait until I..." Brendan fiddled with his phone until he got Cheryl on cars Bluetooth and went to his emails. "There's nothing here. I haven't got mail in days."
"Have you updated your stuff lately?" Cheryl's voice came through the cars speakers, "Joel came in the other day and helped me to update everything because apparently there has been a bug or something, go and check your trash mail."
"Jesus, why is everything so complicated these days?" Brendan squinted at his phone screen and managed to find the right file. "Yep, it's here." There were several other mails too, from old clients and colleagues. Brendan was about to click Cheryl's mail open when his eyes landed on a mail from DC Scott, sent to him couple days ago.
"You found it? Good. I thought it would be something Deccy could like, you know, all kind of indie bands playing all night, I think he might be into that kind of stuff."
Cheryl went on but Brendan was only half listening, reading what Scott had written to him.
After reviewing the footage from Miss Barnes neighborhood we have discovered one individual who might be our suspect. We still haven't identified him but if you recognize him contact to us immediately.
There was a attachment and Brendan clicked it open.
"Are you reading it now? You really need to keep your systems updated, I was just telling Simon yesterday how hopeless you are with technical stuff and-"
"What? Who's Simon?"
Brendan stared the picture on his screen, trying to place the man somewhere. He was holding a camera in front of his face and the pic was blurry because it had been zoomed in a lot, but Brendan was sure he knew him. There was cold sweat trickling down his spine.
"Simon, my date! Do you even listen when I talk to you?" Cheryl sounded amused. "He actually knows Ste, isn't it funny, he's working for a publisher who's making Ste's book, he was very thrilled about that, you must be so proud -"
"Chez, I gotta go." Brendan scrambled out from the car and ended the call despite Cheryl's shouts of protests. He scrolled through his contacts while rushing towards the building, until he found DC Scott's number. Brendan pushed through the doors and tried to make his way to lifts but his way was blocked by a guard.
"Excuse me sir, you can't go further without visitors pass" Guy from the desk informed.
"This is a emergency!" Brendan shouted while calling to Scott's number. "Steven Hay, I need to find him, he's doing a photo shoot, you saw him come in just some time ago!"
"I'm sorry sir, but I can't -"
"I need to get up there so you better start to tell me where I can find Steven!" Brendan was loosing it. Scott's phone was still ringing. He tried to surge past the guard but the guy pushed him away. "Don't you fucking touch me again or I'll-"
"Brendan?" Douglas had appeared in the hall, no doubt after hearing the shouting, and was holding a tray of coffees. "What's going on?"
"Douglas, I need to get to Steven, it's emergency, can you tell these idiots to let me through, I need to see him, now!" Brendan was aware he probably seemed like a crazy person no one wouldn't want to let through, but he didn't care. His call went into a voicemail. Brilliant. "Scott, it's Brendan Brady, I just saw the email and I know who that person is, he's a photographer, he's... Hey Douglas, what's the name of that guy you had on Steven's place?"
Douglas looked stunned. Both the guard and the guy on the desk looked from Brendan to him.
"Simon? Are you talking about Simon Walker?"
"Simon Walker." Brendan said on the phone. "He's our guy. I'm in his work place right now with Steven." He ended the call and looked Douglas. "I need to find Steven. Now."
Douglas stared at him for a second and Brendan though he would tell the guard to throw him out. But then he swallowed and looked the guy on the desk. "It's alright, you can let him through and mark him as my guest."
"You sure?" Guard asked and gave Brendan a look which made him want to punch him.
"Yeah. Come with me, Brendan."
"Thank you, Douglas." He pushed past he guard and followed Douglas to the elevators he had seen him taken Steven in earlier. There was one just arriving and they got in. Douglas pushed the button on the twelfth floor. There was a guy riding with them but he got off in the fifth floor and once they were alone Douglas turned to look Brendan.
"What was that about? About Simon?"
"He's trouble. I need to get Steven out from here. Where is he, you said you were gonna stay with him." Brendan was suddenly cold all over when he was the expression on Douglas's face. "Douglas. Where is Steven?"
"I left him go through the photos while I came down to grab the coffees. He's... I left him with Simon."
"YOU WHAT?" Elevator door opened just when Brendan thought he might lunge on Douglas. Douglas made a quick exit and Brendan followed him. "Where are they? WHERE?"
"T-t-this way." Douglas pointed and Brendan ran, peeking through each door he passed, startling the people working on their computers.
"Steven? STEVEN?!" His heart was racing. He had never been this scared in his whole life. People were gathering on the hallway, seeing what the noise was about. "Steven Hay, anyone seen Steven?"
Fuck fuck fuck.
"The door on your right." Douglas was rushing after him, still holding on the tray of coffees even when they were spilling all over while he tried to keep up with Brendan's speed.
Brendan pushed the door open. There were several computers in the room, one of them having pictures of Steven changing on the screen. But there was no Walker.
And there was no Steven.
::::::
Simon's grip was hard on Ste's arm when he was escorted through the empty narrow corridors inside the building. Ste tried to think, but his mind was blank and he felt like he was just a puppet being dragged where ever Simon wanted him. Simon was taller than him and more stronger, and he knew where they were, so even if Ste would manage to fight himself free he would have no idea which way to run.
The way Simon was taking him must be some sort of maintenance path. They had walked past few small rooms which had seemed like a cleaning closets and storage rooms, but there had been no offices or signs of other people. Some of the lights in were off or dim or blinking in a way which indicated that these corridors weren't well kept. No screaming now, Steven, you promise me? Simon had said before leading him out from his office through another door which Ste hadn't even noticed when he had walked in with Doug, but he doubted anyone would even hear him. There were staircases and corners and he was confused were they even in the same floor anymore.
How could Brendan ever find him here? How long would it take for him to even realise Ste was gone?
Ste threw a quick glance towards Simon's profile. He seemed pleased and had a small smile on his lips, and there was determination in his eyes like he knew exactly what he was going to do. Part of Ste still couldn't believe this was a man who had been stalking him and threatening his kids.
"Are you going to kill me?" He asked and was shocked how normal his voice sounded when he felt like he might die from fear.
Simon looked at him and frowned. "Why would I do that? We are finally together, I won't lose you now."
Ste wasn't any more reassured about his safety, on the contrary he started to dread other things Simon could do to him instead of killing him. "Where are you taking me?"
"Somewhere safe. Where he won't find us." He made a sudden stop and yanked Ste closer, looking at his face intensely. "He's been with you all the time, not allowing us to get to know each other properly. He's been trying to hide you from me, but I knew that one day I could be with you alone."
Ste swallowed and his mind was racing. What was it that people always said about situations like this? Should he try to play along, keep Simon pleased?
"I- I didn't know you're gay." It was the only thing he could have think of. Simon frowned again.
"Gay? I'm not gay. I like people who are special. And now it's just you, no one else. I should have been more clear with my feelings from the start, and I tried, but I was so worried you would turn me down. You aren't going to now, are you?"
"No." Ste stuttered, seeing the flash of something dark in Simon's eyes. "Of course not."
"And did you like my gifts?" Ste could feel his breath on his face, and tried his best not to shake. "You didn't use the knife."
"I couldn't." Maybe if he would say what Simon wanted to hear he could get his chance to get away. "They didn't let me. But I got it. I got them all. Thank you."
"You're welcome." Simon smiled so brightly in opposite how dangerous he had looked just seconds ago. But his grip was still strong on Ste's arm when he started to walk again and Ste did his best to stay in his speed.
"When... When you got me address... Did you know you were going to see me?" Ste tried to get the pieces together, how had this all happened, and why.
"I hoped. They were signing off the jobs and I knew there would need a photographer for your book. I had been watching you a long time and hoped a chance to meet you. You have no idea how excited I was." Another narrow staircase up, and in the corridor. "I tried to get your attention but Doug was there, so I waited, and when I came back later on and hoped I could come in for a chat I saw you with him." His voice was thick with disgust. "And he's been with you ever since, keeping you from me."
"You are hurting me." His grip had grown harder, fingers digging into Ste's flesh. Soon as Ste said it Simon eased a little and looked apologetic.
"I'm sorry. He just makes me very angry."
"He's not here." Ste said even when saying it made his inside hurt. God, he wished Brendan was there. "So you can let go."
Simon gave him a smile. "Steven, don't think I'm stupid. I know you don't trust me yet."
"Where are we going?" Ste asked again.
"I have set up a place for us. We can't go to my place, that's the first place they'll look, but there's a little corner in here where we can get to know each other."
"Here? In this building?" Ste had seen the cameras in the lobby and he felt hopeful. He quickly glanced up but apart from the blinking lights there was nothing up on the roof or in the ceilings.
"Yes, here. Can you believe that they want a new building when they have so much empty space in this one? They are not like you and I, Steven, they don't appreciate the little things. All they want is bigger and better." They turned another corner and the corridor ended in to a door. Simon put his finger on his lips. "Quiet now."
He used his free hand to unlock the door and opened it for a crack, listening for a while before pushing it open. They emerged on some larger room which was dark apart from the emergency exit sign on top of another door in the opposite wall. Ste could make out shapes of chairs in the room but other than that it seemed empty when Simon pulled him through it to the other door. Again he listened for a while before pulling the door open and taking Ste through a new hallway, only this one was bigger and had more rooms by it. The lights were off but there were windows in the rooms and the daylight reached the hallway through the open doors, making it easier to see. The whole place seemed quite abandoned and was complete opposite of the busy floors Ste had seen earlier.
"Where is everybody?" He had to ask.
"Told you, moved to the next building. These used to be our studios and such, but they wanted do build new ones. Waste of space, like I said. Don't worry," he gave Ste's arm a tight squeeze, "we should be quite alone in here."
Ste's heart sank.
Simon lead Ste through the corridors, turning in corners. At one point Ste spotted a staircase with the exit sign but then he was lead on again and he wasn't sure how he could get off from Simon long enough to find his way back there. His mind was racing, with all the things Simon could be doing to him, and wondering had Brendan realised something was wrong by now. Surely Doug would get suspicious when he'd came back and neither Ste or Simon was nowhere to be found.
There was a bathroom sign on one of the doors and Ste tried to stop. "Wait, I need.. I need the loo."
At least that would give him few seconds time to try and think. Simon stopped and glanced Ste suspiciously.
"Please." Ste said and Simon sighed and walked him in the toilets and hit the light button. He let go of Ste's arm but stood in front of the door.
"No cubicles," he said when Ste tried to went in one. Ste swallowed.
"Can you just... turn around then?"
Simon tilted his head and considered few long seconds until smiling like there was nothing weird in this whole situation. "Of course."
Ste made sure Simon had his back turned when he walked in front of the urinals. While he pulled the zipper of his fly open noisily as possible he sneaked his other hand in his hoodies pocket and pulled out his phone. It was hard trying to force himself to pee while fiddling his phone, but he didn't want Simon to get suspicious – he was lucky the man had been in such a hurry to get him off that he hadn't realised to take his phone away.
Ste quickly sent a message to Brendan's number.
Upstrs hrry
He had no idea what floor they were in but he would just have to hope Brendan would find him. He pushed his phone back in his pocket and zipped himself up. Simon turned to look at him when Ste went to wash his hands.
"Good to go?" His smile was sending shivers down Ste's spine.
"Yeah. Ta."
Ste tried to smile and forced himself to go stand next to him and not to flinch when Simon took hold of him again. But it seemed it worked, because Simon's grip wasn't as hard this time as it had been before.
"We are almost there anyway." Simon explained and after few more turns he stopped in front of a door and fished a key from his pocket. "Nobody has noticed I keep using this after we moved rest of the stuff away. Do you like it?"
It clearly was an old studio with most of it gear taken out. One wall had tall windows with thick curtains for what Ste guessed was for more intimate photo shoots to block out the daylight. One glance out told him that they were too high for him to even think about trying to get out. He tried to remember the amount of stairs they had got up to figure out which floor they were in, but couldn't. Ste looked around the room, and saw a old lumpy sofa against one wall and few tall stools. Same side of the room where the door was there was a table with camera and different sized suitcases filled with stuff on it. There was also several pictures spread on the table and on the wall on top of it, and single glance was enough to tell Ste that they were all about him. He felt like he was going to throw up.
"We have water and some snacks here." Simon said. "We can stay here for a while. They'll go to my place at first to search for us, so we just have to wait and lay low."
"Then what?" Ste's voice sounded weak even for his own ears.
"I have a cottage in the countryside. We can go there and hide." He step closer and his hand rose up to gently stroke Ste's neck. He wanted to back out but he was scared that it would anger him. "We are going to be so happy, Steven, you'll see."
"Ste." His voice was barely stronger than a whisper. "Please, call me Ste."
"As you wish." Simon slide his hand away and looked cheeky. "Actually, now when we are here and we have time to spare... Would you pose for me?"
"What?"
"I've been looking forward for today, to get you in my studio, and this turned out even better than I thought and I would really, really like to photograph you. You posing, just for me. Could you do that for me?"
The way he looked at Ste gave him no chance to say no.
"Okay." He swallowed and tried to smile. Anything to keep Simon happy and busy long enough for Brendan to get his message and find them. Oh God, let him find them.
"Excellent. Here," Simon pulled out a stool and placed it against the empty wall on the other side of the room, "sit here, here's the best lighting."
Ste walked there slowly, his legs shaking so much he worried he might trip and fall. Simon was beaming at him. He really must be crazy, Ste thought, thinking any of this is okay.
"Take of your hoodie," Simon commanded, in a low voice.
"No." Ste couldn't hide his shaking now.
"Ste, please." It was not a request.
"I'm cold." He tried. Simon's eyes went softer then.
"I have something that will look good on you." He went on his table full of stuff, shuffled over some things and then came back, shaking open a red shirt. "Put this one on." The look was back in his eyes, the one that Ste was too scared to tempt with.
His hands were shaking when he pulled open the zipper of his hoodie and slowly peeled it off. He had his T-shirt underneath but he still felt naked from the way Simon was watching him. It was not the way Brendan was watching him when Ste was undressing, like every inch of skin he revealed was something precious he wanted to savor and explore with. Simon looked at him like he wanted to break him.
"Give it here," he extended his hand and Ste had no choice but to hand his hoodie to him, praying Simon wouldn't notice the phone in it's pocket. But Simon was looking at his arm instead, and took a hold of it. "What's this?"
There was a bruise on Ste's wrist, two days old and already fading. He had been on his belly when Brendan had fucked him, pinning Ste's hands behind him on the small of his back, squeezing tight when he was coming with a roar which Ste could feel vibrating through his body.
Simon's eyes drifted upwards, and he reached to pull down the neckline of Ste's t-shirt to fully expose the bite mark on Ste's collarbone.
"Has he been hurting you?" Simon asked, voice soft but the dark shadow in his eyes.
Say yes, Ste's brain told him, gain his trust. But his mouth wasn't working and his heart was beating faster, refusing to lie. No, he wanted to say, he's been loving me.
Last night they had gone to sleep Ste on top of Brendan, but when he had woken up they had shifted during the night and Ste had been on his back, Brendan's head resting on his chest heavy and solid, on top of his heart and top of the marking he had left on his skin. Ste had stroked his hair, hearing and feeling Brendan's steady breaths against his skin and even when neither of them had said it out loud Ste had never felt more loved.
Ste's vision went blurry from the tears he couldn't hold back anymore. They poured out silently, down his cheeks and throat.
"Oh Ste." Simon stroked his cheekbone. "You don't have to worry anymore. You are with me now. He'll never lay his hands on you again."
::::::
"Where he's taken Steven?! Where?!"
"Brendan, stop!"
Through the red haze Brendan realised he was holding Douglas from his collar and shaking him, coffees the yank was holding spreading on the floor when he dropped them. There were shouts and gasps, lot of talking, all mumbled up and Brendan could hardly focus on them. He dropped his hands and took a step back, only faintly noticing how people had gathered on the doorway, peeking in and trying to see what was happening, shouting out to people further in the hallway to explain what was going on.
"I need to find him." Brendan said but he wasn't sure was he talking to Douglas or to himself. His chest was hurting and his gut felt like snakes, twisting and turning. He started to look around the room, throw out things from the tables like the clue to Steven's location would be hidden somewhere underneath.
"Um, Brendan?"
He spun around and it was Douglas, pale and looking scared to be so close to him. Behind him on the doorway Brendan could see people whispering and few of them had phones out, probably calling for police or the guard.
"Yes, Douglas?" He tried to stay calm but the flinch in Douglas face told him that he wasn't succeeding.
"I, uh, I was just.. Why would Simon hurt Ste?"
"Because he's been stalking him for months. And you brought him into Steven's home." Brendan took a step closer. Somewhere back of his brain he could hear the voice of the therapist going through the list of anger management, telling him to step back and count to ten but it was getting drowned by other noises. "And you left Steven alone with him, dropping him into Simon's lap. So, unless you have something useful to tell me you better run along and let me handle this."
Douglas swallowed. "I, I know his address."
"Write it down then." Douglas scrambled past him to snatch a piece of paper and while he was scribbling Brendan turned to look the people gathering around. "Has anyone seen Simon Walker in the last thirty minutes? Has anyone seen him leave?"
People were shaking their heads, but then one hand rose up and people made way for a young woman to get through. She looked as scared as everyone else but she had something familiar in her face. Then Brendan realised that she reminded him of Steven, the color of her hair, the shape of her nose, her big blue eyes.
"I haven't seen him," she started, "but he's been, um, kinda harassing me before, when I started my internship few months ago he kept asking me out and telling how I remind him of someone, and that he, uh, he would like to take my pictures. I told my supervisor about him and he hasn't talked to me since."
"But you have no idea where he is?" As much as this cleared the whole picture about Walker's obsession it wasn't helping Brendan to get any closer to him or Steven.
"Well, not exactly, no, but he kept saying he had a private studio somewhere, and I just though..."
Brendan rubbed the bridge of his nose and tried to keep his head clear but it was hard. Man he loved was in danger and he was nowhere closer to find him. "Does anyone have any idea where this private studio might be?"
People were shrugging and Brendan felt his panic rising again. He was wasting time here and the guy might be do God knows what to Steven as he stood there doing nothing.
His phone started to ring and for a second he felt hopeful, only it was DC Scott's name on the screen.
"It's Brady," he answered, "Listen, he has Steven, he was supposed to have a photo shoot and they have disappeared."
"Okay, try to stay calm." Scott sounded like he was driving. "We looked him up soon as I got your message and we actually know this guy, sort of, he was training to be a cop but his file says he was let go because he had some obsessive tendencies which made it too risky to have him around. We have his last known address and there's a patrol going in now, and we have also contacted the security of the office to keep an eye of him."
"I'm going after him."
"It's highly possible that he's dangerous, I don't recommend -"
"Thanks for your concern, but I'm not going to let him have Steven." Brendan ended the call before Scott could say another word. His phone started to ring straight after but he just hang up on Scott again.
Then he got a message and he was about to delete it too, but his heart stopped for a few second when he saw it was from Steven.
Upstrs hrry
"Douglas, what's on the upper floors?!" Brendan shouted, startling him again.
"More offices, why? Oh wait, there's some empty spaces too, from where they have been moving stuff for the new spaces to the next building - "
"Which floor? How do I get there?" Brendan wanted to grab him and shake him until he spilled the information, it seemed to take far too long for Douglas to form sentences.
"Fourteenth. We're on twelfth now. If you take a lift you come into still used office area first, the emptied studios are in the east side." He saw Brendan opening his mouth and quickly continued before he managed to bark where the fuck is east. "Just turn right and there still should still be some signs left..."
"Make yourself useful and go down to wait the police to tell where we are, you think you can manage that without fucking up?" Brendan was already going, pushing his way past the crowd gathered in the hallway.
He got momentarily confused which way the lift was, but one of the staff members pointed him in the right corridor and he was running then. He reached the elevators and hit the button repeatedly even when he knew it wouldn't make it come any sooner. Then Brendan saw the signs for stairs and run their direction instead, and found them behind another corner. The racing of his heart had nothing to do with him rushing up the stairs two step at the time. His thoughts were on Steven, what Walker was doing to him right now. Brendan was sure that killing wasn't on top of his list, even when his delusional mind could go there if Steven wasn't co-operating the way Walker wanted. But there were other things he could do now when he had his hands on a man he had been obsessively stalking for months, things Brendan didn't even want to think about.
He ran faster and hoped he wasn't too late.
::::::
If Ste had hated cameras before it was nothing compared to the disgust he felt towards them now, sitting there on a stool and having Simon moving around him taking pics. He wanted to scream or to lunge at him, throw that thing on the floor or grab it and smack it against Simon's head until neither camera or Simon existed anymore. But at the same time he felt paralyzed by the fear and he could still feel where Simon had been holding him while they dragging him through those corridors. That would bruise him, and not in a way Ste liked to get marked.
Ste felt so thankful for the bruises Brendan's desire had left on him. He was sure that without them Simon would have demanded him to pose for him in more revealing ways, but now he had wanted Ste to cover those signs instead, asking Ste to wear that red shirt he had found. Ste still felt naked and vulnerable, and he couldn't force himself to smile no matter how much he tried.
It didn't seem to matter. Simon was completely in his own mind, praising Ste and acting like this was all normal, like they were both enjoying this even when Ste had to fight back tears.
"Look at that smile, that's it, God you're beautiful."
"Brendan, what are you doing?"
"Taking a picture. I wanna show you how pretty you look when I'm in you."
Ste didn't know how long he had sat there but Simon finally seemed pleased, going through the pictures from his camera, delighted smile on his face.
"These are all so good. You are such a good model. Here." He tried to make Ste look but he couldn't and turned his head away. Simon let his hand's drop. "What's wrong?"
"Nothing." Ste tried.
Simon sighed. "I know this all is new to you. But you'll get used to this, to us, I'll promise. It will be good soon as I get you out and it's just you and me and we don't have to worry anyone finding us." He reached to stroke Ste's arm. "That's what we want, isn't it?"
Then to Ste's horror he leaned closer as trying to kiss him. Ste knew he should have just let it happen to buy him more time, but he couldn't. He couldn't let the memory of Brendan's mouth against his be replaced like this. Ste quickly turned his head aside and leaned as far as he could, sliding off the stool.
Simon froze. His hand was still on Ste's arm and he was so close Ste could feel his breath against the side of his face.
"What is this?" His voice wasn't as soft anymore, but it had a sharp edge on it. "Why are you pulling away?"
"I'm – I'm not ready yet." Ste tried but it seemed his luck had run out.
Simon pulled further away and started to pace in front of him. "Have you been tricking me the whole time? Is that it? Have you been faking your feelings for me? All those times you were on TV and looked so innocent and pure, it's been all a lie, hasn't it?" Simon stopped and the look he gave to Ste was full of anger. "I thought you were different. I thought you could understand me but you are just the same than everyone else!"
There were sound of sirens down in the street, and Simon threw one last look full of disgust to Ste before stepping on the window. Ste tried to count how many seconds it would take for him to run for the door and could he get past Simon before he notices what was going on. He took a step.
But then to Ste's horror his phone started to ring in his hoodie. Simon sprung around and saw Ste inching his way to the door. He took a few long steps towards the table he had discarded Ste's hoodie in earlier and fumbled his phone out.
Amy, Ste saw in the screen, before Simon declined the call. He was breathing so hard Ste could hear him. The sirens were still singing, closer now.
"You called them?" Simon asked, squeezing Ste's phone in his fist. "You let them know where we are?!"
"No, no." Ste tried to say but he could see that Simon was completely consumed by rage now and nothing Ste would say could calm him down.
"You little slut. I was trying to help you and show you what you could be, what we could be and this is how you thank me?! All the time I have spent giving you attention and you have been laughing behind my back!"
"Simon, please -"
"I thought we had something real, something beautiful and you had to ruin it all!" Simon threw Ste's phone on the ground and started to shuffle through one of his bags. Ste gasped and took a step back when Simon pulled out a knife, large and sharp, almost like one of Ste's chef knives.
Simon noticed Ste was staring. "You recognize it? It's same than the one I gave to you. I thought it could have been our thing, something to unite us. But we can still fix it, we can still fix us." He reached for the bag for a second time and now he had a gun, small pistol he tucked behind him. Then he took hold of the knife again and extended his hand towards Ste. "Ste, come here."
"No." He tried to go back, make himself small, but there were no place where he could hide. Simon stepped closer and grabbed his arm, pulled him towards himself.
"It will be okay. You'll see." He started to drag Ste out from the room and this time Ste fought back, trying to twist himself free, trying to hit Simon until he felt the sharp poke of the knife on his side. "It'll be better if you come nicely and don't make me kill you here."
Ste went numb then. He tried to summon a thought, a memory of Brendan to calm himself, to have something to hold on to. How he liked to stroke his hand on Ste's spine while Ste was cooking. How his beard felt against Ste's belly or thighs when he was licking his way down. How warm he was, how safe. How he looked Ste like he thought he was special, making him feel like he could do anything as long as Brendan kept believing him.
But Brendan wasn't there now. And you'll never feel any of those things ever again.
As hard as Ste tried all there was was Simon's hand around his arm, his breath on Ste's face, the press of knife against his skin as he was being dragged out from the room.
::::::
When Brendan reached the right floor he stopped to take a breath and also tried to figure out how to go on. All he wanted was to barge in every room in the floor until he found Walker and rip him apart. But he forced himself to think, to look past those animal instinct in him. He had no idea what Walker was doing, and if he would hear Brendan approaching he might just go ahead and do something to Steven rather than let anyone get him away. As much at it annoyed Brendan, his best chance was to try and surprise the bastard, maybe even distract him long enough to give Steven time to escape.
He entered the hallway from the staircase carefully. He could hear some distant noises from his left side, and remembered what Douglas had said about the empty studios being right from the elevators, so he chose that way. There were several rooms but most of them had their doors open and Brendan just quickly peeked in every room to make sure they were empty. He came into a corner where the hallway separated for two corridors. Fuck. He had no idea which one he should take, which would take him to Steven faster. What if he even wasn't on this floor, if Walker had taken him somewhere else? Was this the top floor, or was there still one or two on top of this one?
Brendan took few steps on the corridor on his right, but he was hit with a weird feeling, like the bite mark Steven had left on his chest was aching, so he turned around and carried on the way he was originally going.
It felt like he had been away from Steven for days, even when it had barely been an hour. You should have kissed him, he thought while walking on, before you left him you should have kissed him, no matter who were there to see.
Then he suddenly stopped, listening carefully. Was those sirens? He sneaked into one of the empty office rooms and went to look down the street. This side wasn't the front of the building, but he could still see the flashing lights of police cars and hear the sirens getting closer.
Fucking idiots. This might just be the thing to agitate Walker more, if he hadn't done something unforgivable already. Brendan tried to tell himself that it wasn't that long from Steven's message, but it only took a moment to hurt him or to kill him.
Brendan returned to the hallway and was now moving faster, listening every sound. His whole body was humming like his fear was making his senses more accurate. With each corridor he hesitated only a second before choosing which way to go. It was like he was being pulled towards something, and he had no choice but to follow his gut.
Then he heard it.
"No." There was sniffing, and the sound of steps, sound of someone being dragged. "No, no, no, please, don't."
Brendan tried to locate the sound, returned his steps to the previous hallway he had passed. He peeked behind the corner and there he was. Steven, being pulled by Walker. He saw something shiny in Walker's hand, pressed against Steven and Brendan's heart sank. Their backs were towards Brendan when Walker kept walking fast towards end of the corridor, pushed open the door of the room in the end of it. Once they disappeared inside Brendan rushed after them as quietly as he could.
He was just in time to see the maintenance door in the back of the room close. So that's how he got Steven out from the office without anyone seeing them. He ran across the room and listened in case Walker was right behind the door, but only could hear some muffled pleas. He prayed the door wouldn't be locked and thanked the heavens when it opened to him. The thin corridor behind it was dim, with only few of the lights on, and he could hear the faint sounds of Walker and Steven somewhere ahead of him behind the corner.
Brendan followed them and as much as the sobs and pleas from Steven were breaking his heart, at least he was still alive. There was no way Brendan could surprise Walker in this narrow walkway, he would hear him coming if Brendan would try to run to them and who knows what he would do for Steven then. Brendan's best chance was to stay on their trail and hope for a opportunity to get Steven away from Walker once they were out from the maintenance space.
In every corner he sneaked a look ahead and could see them, Walker pulling Steven like a rag doll. Brendan imagined how it would feel to crush Walker's skull between his bare hands.
Suddenly it seemed like their sounds were moving upwards, and when Brendan came where he had seen them turn he came into a staircase. It was a spiral one and smaller than the one Brendan had run up to, barely wide enough for one person. He could hear Steven struggling to get away, but when he dared to look up he saw that Walker had made him go first, pushing him up.
"Don't make this any harder," he could hear him say, "I don't want to hurt you but I will if I have to."
When Steven went quiet Brendan almost lost it, but then the footsteps continued and Brendan realised that Steven had just given up and did what Walker told him to do.
Soon as he heard the door clang above him he was rushing up the stairs. The door on top of them lead to the roof and the wind and daylight felt such a shock to him after those minutes he had spent in the dim hallways. He took a cover behind one of the ventilation systems while trying to locate where Walker had taken Steven. It seemed like there had been some rooftop deck going on at some point, with few chairs and a ashtray which now looked very abandoned. When Brendan finally got Walker and Steven in his sight the fear hit him so hard he couldn't breathe.
Walker had dragged Steven near the edge on the side which Brendan imagined was the front of the building. Steven had his back against the railing and he was crying hard, sobs making his slim frame shake and the fear making him look smaller. Walker's back was towards Brendan but he could see Walker pointed Steven with the knife.
"Go on, do it!" Walker's voice carried over to him as he sneaked closer behind the ventilation tubes, "Prove me you still care about me!"
"Simon, please." Steven's words were muddled from crying.
"Say it! Say you love me or go over!" Walker sounded like he had completely lost it. "I just want you to love me as much as I love you, but if you don't I'll either make you jump or kill you here. It's your choice. Now, say it!"
Steven was shaking his head. Tears were running down his face but he looked like he had made up his mind, as terrified as he was. Brendan slid under the tubes and edged closer.
"I don't love you. I never have. You are sick and you need help. Please, don't do this."
Walker let out a shout of rage and frustration. Brendan saw that his hand which was holding the knife wavered a little. This could be his only chance.
"WALKER!" he boomed as he charged forward, getting Walkers attention from Steven just for a second but it was enough. Brendan smashed on to him sideways, pushed him away from Steven. "Steven, run!"
Walker swung the knife towards Brendan and he could feel the blade scraping his side, hitting his ribs, but there was no pain, he was too riled up.
"Brendan!" Steven's voice was full of worry and Brendan cursed in his mind, the lad should be running by now.
He protected his body and face with his forearms like a boxer, dodging the swings Walker tried to aim at him, forcing in a blow or two until he managed to hit the knife out from Walkers hand. Then his next hit was towards his face and Brendan heard the satisfying crunch when his fist hit Walker's nose. Walker dropped down, face covered with blood.
Brendan turned to look Steven who was still there, face filled with horror.
"Steven, run." He said again, taking a few steps towards him.
"Brendan, he has a gun!"
Brendan spun over just in time to see Walker pushing back to his feet while pulling something out behind him. Without a second thought Brendan took a step to side to be in front of Steven just when Walker pulled the trigger.
The impact made him stagger back and he was vaguely aware he couldn't feel his right arm. His head was ringing and he could hear Steven screaming. The only thought in his head was that if he dies Steven would be on Walker's mercy, and as his last act he would take the bastard with him for not to let that happen.
He was roaring like an animal when he charged forward again and it took Walker on surprise. Brendan could see him raising the gun again but he didn't have time to shoot before Brendan was on him. He half lifted, half pushed Walker as he ran those few feet towards the edge of the building. He could feel his strength running out as the pain finally caught up with him but it didn't matter – one last push and he could see the blank shock in Walker's face as he went over and dropped.
Then all Brendan could see was the blue sky as he felt the hard roof underneath his back. Breathing hurt and he would have wanted to stop it. His right side was in flames, wave after wave of pain hitting him.
There were cool hands on his face and Steven was holding him.
"No, no, no." His hands moved from Brendan's face and then he felt the pressure when Steven tried to press the gunshot wound. It made him groan more. "Brendan, where's your phone, I need to call for help, you are bleeding so much."
"Left pocket." He managed even though he knew that police would probably guess where they were from the gunshot, not to mention that smashed up body of Simon Walker on the street was a good hint too.
He felt Steven scrambling the phone out but everything was getting blurry. Brendan tried to focus on Steven for the last time. He noticed just now that he was wearing a red shirt Brendan had never seen on him before and his foggy brain thought it matched nicely with the smudges of blood on his face. Leah had been right, red suited him.
"Steven..." Breathing was getting too hard but there was so much he wanted to say to him.
"No, Brendan, you promised." Steven pressed his face closer. "You promised you wouldn't leave me, you can't die, please." He leaned his forehead to Brendan's, his breath against his mouth like he wanted to breathe life back to him. "I love you so much, I can't do this without you."
I love you too, Brendan wanted to say. There won't ever be no one else. But he had no strength left, and when he tried to open his mouth another wave of pain came and then he was surrounded by a white light.
::::::
The police had finally left Ste sit in the hospital corridor. He felt like he had been answering questions for ever, going through what had happened first to the officers who had found him and Brendan from the roof, then to DC Scott and now to these two. It had been hard to focus, from the shock and fear and from worrying over Brendan. It probably hadn't taken more than few minutes for the officers to arrive and one of them started to press Brendan's wounds and check on him while other had to force Ste away to give them space. The medical helicopter had arrived soon after but to Ste's horror they hadn't let him travel with Brendan.
The police had asked him lot to questions before taking him out and giving him a drive to the hospital. On his way to their car Ste had seen more police, surrounding something covered with a dark blanket and he had only faintly realised it was what was left of Simon. Once in the hospital DC Scott had arrived to ask the same questions again, details Ste didn't want to remember anymore. All Ste wanted was to hear how Brendan was doing but no one had told him anything. Thankfully the officers who had just left had came in to return Ste's hoodie and phone they had found from Simon's secret studio, and after few more question had left him be. He went to the loos and changed the red and bloody shirt back to his hoodie and buried the shirt in the bottom of the bin.
Screen of his phone was cracked pretty badly from Simon smashing it on the floor, but by some miracle it still worked. He didn't know what else to do so he called Amy, and telling her what had happened made him cry again for the first time after they had taken Brendan away from him. She sounded shocked and worried, but it would take hours for her to get back in town from Manchester. Ste had never felt more alone.
He had no idea how long he had sat there, hoping every passing doctor or nurse would bring him some news but suddenly he heard a sound of heels clicking on his way and familiar voice calling his name. Then he was wrapped in tight hold of Cheryl Brady.
"Oh babe, I came straight when they called me, what happened? They said Brendan got shot, how is that possible?"
So Ste had to go through it all again. When he mentioned Simon's name Cheryl's face went pale.
"Simon Walker? You mean, the photographer?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"I've been going out with him." Cheryl looked like she was feeling nauseated. "I thought it was a funny coincidence that he'd know you, but this.. this makes it seem like he only went out with me to get closer to you."
"Oh God. I'm so sorry Chez, he probably found out who Brendan was and that he lived with you and... I can't believe this."
"He just happened to walk on me one day in the coffee shop and I thought it was like fate, universe showing to me that there are other men that Nate... Oh my God, Nate. I called him from the taxi on my way here, I haven't told him I have been seeing someone else, and now that guy I've been having coffees with was revealed to be stalker for my big brother's boyfriend. And he shot my brother! How can I ever tell him that?"
"I won't tell him if you won't." Ste said and they both let out a sad laugh.
"Excuse me? Are you relatives of Brendan Brady?" Young female doctor walked towards them. Ste was instantly on his feet.
"Yes. How is he?"
"I'm pleased to tell you the surgery went really well. The bullet went completely through. The wound is pretty big and damaged the artery so he had lost a lot of blood, but now he's all stitched up and stable. Unfortunately there was quite a lot of damage to the nerves, my team did the best they could to fix everything up but we won't know the full results until he wakes up. There might be some mobility problems but I'm hopeful that with right kind of physio therapy we can minimize it."
"He's left handed anyway." Ste said. Main thing was that Brendan was alive. "Can we go and see him?"
"Of course. He's still asleep and the shock to his body was pretty hard so it might take some time for him to wake up, but you can go and see him if you like."
She took them to the room where Brendan was. Ste couldn't hold back the gasp when he saw him there, pale and vulnerable, with tubes and wires going to the machines monitoring him. Ste could see the dressing peeking from under the hospital gown. When Ste laid his hand on top of Brendan's it felt cool.
After a few hours they had sat there quietly talking over Brendan lying between them there was sound from the door and tall blondish man with curly hair rushed in.
"Nate!" Cheryl practically flung herself to him, and he took a tight hold of her. It took her a moment to remember Ste was in the room. She pulled herself back and wiped tears from her cheeks. "Nate, this is Ste, he's Brendan's boyfriend."
"Hi." Nate reached to shook his hand and then his attention was on Cheryl again. "Are you okay? I booked the first flight I could."
"I'm okay. The doctors say he'll be fine. Oh I'm so glad you are here!"
They tried to stay as discreet as possible, Nate picking up another chair and sitting next to Cheryl, but Ste hardly paid any attention to the way they kept holding on to each other as comfort. His focus was on Brendan, and on the hope he would wake up if he just wished it hard enough.
They stayed as long as they were allowed before nurse came to inform the visiting hours were over for the day.
"I can't leave." Ste said, "What if he wakes up when I'm not here?"
"He might sleep for couple of days after the battle his body has gone through," the nurse said, "and we will call you straight away if he wakes up during the night."
"Come on Ste, he'll be alright now." Cheryl had been crying a bit after seeing Brendan and bit more after Nate had came and she had explained what had happened, but she now tried to put on a brave face for Ste. "And you need some rest too. What do you think Brendan would say if I wouldn't look after you, eh?"
"Okay." Ste tried to linger on as long as he could but finally he had no choice but to place a quick kiss on Brendan's forehead before leaving.
"Do you want to come to my place for tonight?" Cheryl asked. "I don't really feel like I want to send you in your house all alone."
"I don't want to be any trouble."
"Don't be daft. We're family. I would really love it if you'd come."
Ste felt relieved he didn't need to go into his empty house. Cheryl was tired and sad as well, and not as chatty as she usually was but it was still nice to be in her place and not alone. Nate seemed like a great guy, making sure both of them were comfortable as possible. They had tea and some indian leftovers Cheryl had in the fridge, but neither Ste or Cheryl were really hungry. Cheryl made bed for Ste in Brendan's room and dug out some of his trackies and T-shirts to wear during the night. They were massive on him but they were Brendan's, and even when they were clean like were the sheets and there was no familiar scent lingering around Ste still felt bit more comforted to be in a place where Brendan had spent his life before moving in to Ste's.
Next morning there were some calls to be made. Ste called to Clarke who had already heard the news from DC Scott the previous day. Clarke seemed pretty understanding for the situation and told Ste to take some time off before returning to work. Ste informed he was not going to come back at all, period, and they had a long argument which ended Ste telling Clarke to stick the contract to his arse. He then called Mitzeee who had left dozen messages to him and who was very shocked about everything that had happened. She told Ste that the press was going crazy, trying to get info from anyone working on the station. It wasn't every day when TV chef got involved in a dramatic abduction and shooting.
Cheryl had called Eileen, Brendan's ex-wife that he was in a hospital and Declan had been bugging his mom so much that she had finally allowed him to take some time off from school and come to see him. He was arriving in the afternoon, so in the morning Cheryl and Nate drove Ste to his place for fresh clothes and then they dropped Ste on the hospital before they went to pick Declan up from the airport. Brendan was still sleeping but it didn't stop Ste sitting next to his bed, holding to his hand and talking to him about all the things he wanted them to do once he would wake up. Doctors came in and did their check up's and everyone seemed to be pleased how Brendan was getting on, reassuring Ste that his body was healing during the sleep and he could wake up any minute.
When Cheryl and Nate later returned with Declan it didn't take long for them to get over the awkwardness of not knowing one another other than through what Brendan had told them. Declan was taller than he seemed in a photo, almost as tall as Ste, and he could see lot of Brendan in him despite Declan having a lighter hair like Cheryl did. Declan wanted to know everything what had happened but Ste gave him the very mild version.
It was near the ending of visiting time when Ste got a call from Amy, that she was in the cafeteria waiting until Ste was ready to go home. "Kids are with my dad tonight so I can come and keep you some company." Ste appreciated the gesture, even when the idea of going back to his place, specially without Brendan, felt almost too hard.
After they had said goodbyes to sleeping Brendan Cheryl gave Ste and Amy a lift to his place, promising she, Nate and Declan would pick him again in the morning to the hospital. It wasn't long after they had gone in the flat when Ste got a call from Tony, and he put him in the picture while Amy made them something to eat. Ste was very grateful for all the people in his life who were reaching out and were there for him, but he still hoped the person he most wanted with him would wake up soon.
Amy told him about the things news and the magazines had been saying. They seemed to get the basics of the story pretty accurate, but no one knew the full details how and why things had ended the way they did. She had few of the magazines with her but Ste didn't want to see any of them. He was tired of it all, tired of being in the pages of stupid newspapers, tired of people knowing what was going on with him.
"Ste, I've been meant to ask you..." Amy started carefully. "Have you been talking with someone? I mean someone professional, about what happened?"
"Not yet." DC Scott had suggested it during his interview, same as some of the medical person in the hospital who had checked him before they realised all the blood on him had been Brendan's. But back then Ste had felt like he had been talking about it enough already and his main priority was, like it still was, Brendan's well being. "I'm gonna." He said quickly when he saw Amy opening her mouth. "I just want to focus on Brendan now, and make sure he's okay. Once he's woken up I'll... I'll go and talk to someone. We'll figure it all out soon as Brendan wakes."
It was Friday when Brendan finally did woke up. Declan had gone to the loos while Cheryl and Nate had gone for a cafeteria to get them coffees after doctors had done they usual check up and telling everything looked fine. Ste was in his own thoughts, sitting on his chair next to Brendan's bed, leaning so he could rest his head on Brendan's thigh when he suddenly felt him stir.
Ste was instantly up, stroking his hair, his beard. "Brendan? Bren? Can you hear me?"
"Steven." Brendan's voice was raspy and quiet, and he was frowning, like opening his eyes was too much.
"It's me, I'm here." He quickly reached to press the call button before returned to stroke Brendan's face. "I'm here." He repeated again and he had to blink away tears.
Brendan turned his head towards his direction and his eyes opened a little, squinting against light until he focused on Ste. "Is this heaven?"
"No." Ste kissed his forehead. "This is better."
::::::
It took some time for Brendan to fully get hang on what had happened. He was tired and thirsty, and there were doctors poking him and asking questions. There were Cheryl and somehow Declan too, and he thought he remembered seeing Nate there as well. But what stayed with him most clearly from those confusing first hours from being awake was Steven, constantly there, holding his hand the whole time other people came and went from his bedside.
Once the doctors thought he was well enough and not too drugged up from the pain medication they allowed DC Scott come in and ask Brendan's version on what had happened. He seemed pleased to his story and how it matched with Steven's, and now when Walker was dead they could close the case. Apparently his apartment had some evidence to proof he was their guy and it was all the police needed to pat themselves on the back and mark it as another case they had solved. Brendan didn't care who took the credit. Steven being alive and unharmed was his reward.
Steven hardly left his side and Cheryl had to practically drag the lad away each evening after the visiting time was over. It was hard to see him go and even with the strong pain medication Brendan had hard time to sleep without Steven's steady breath next to him. Cheryl told him that Steven had been staying with her and Declan most of the nights because his own place had been surrounded by media people. Nate had gone back to Ireland to sort out some things but according to Cheryl he was moving to her place soon as he could. Cheryl needing him after Brendan getting shot had made him realise that he needed to be there with her, so at least there was some good things coming out from it.
Steven was with Brendan when some specialist came to check out his right arm. He made Brendan wiggle his fingers and do what ever minimum movement he could. Brendan himself was pretty shocked about the amount of numbness and how useless his right arm felt, but the specialist seemed more optimistic, saying everything looked very good judging the damage that had happened. Still, Brendan couldn't help but get moody after he was gone and he was alone with Steven.
"I won't be much use for you now." He started but Steven frowned and squeezed his left hand harder.
"Don't say such things."
"But if I'll stay like this, if I don't get any movement back, you'll be stuck with a old, feeble man -"
"Don't be daft, Brendan. You are alive, that's all that matters." Then to Brendan's horror Steven started to cry and pressed Brendan's hand against his cheek. "I though I lost you. I have never been so scared."
"Steven, I'm sorry, I'm sorry about everything that happened, I should have notice it earlier and stop him."
"It's not your fault. I just... When you were shot and I thought you'd die I realised that I can't lose you. I can lose my kids and I can lose my job but you... I need you."
"Come here." Steven carefully slotted himself to Brendan's side and Brendan hugged him the best he could with one arm. "I'm sorry. You'll never lose me, okay? I'm not going anywhere unless you tell me to fuck off." They stayed quiet for a while, and Brendan waited until Steven's sobs had died down and he was breathing more calmly against his neck. "Steven, are you okay? How are you handling all this?"
Steven rose up so he was sitting in the side of the bed, facing Brendan. "I'm- I'll be alright. Being with Cheryl helps. And I have been talking to someone. In the evenings, when I have to leave you, I sometimes go and talk with a therapist. She's nice. She's been helping me to deal with what happened."
"I'm glad to hear." Brendan stroked his thigh and Steven laid his hand on top of his. "I'm... I keep thinking how me and Walker, how similar we were in a way and how it could have easily been me to done this to you."
"What do you mean?" Steven looked confused.
"We both saw you in telly and got obsessed about you." Brendan felt awful saying it out loud.
"But you never wanted to hurt me." Steven said. "You would never force me to do anything I don't want. You held back until I made it clear I wanted you. I mean, you even let me date Doug even though it was killing you, but you thought it was what I wanted. Walker was sick. You are nothing like him."
"But -"
"Stop, Bren, please. I can't talk about him anymore, not now." Steven looked tired and Brendan touched his face briefly.
"I'm sorry, I'll shut up from him now. Hey, once I get better we go away for a while, yeah, go somewhere for a holiday, would you like that?"
"I would." Steven smiled and even with his eyes puffed from crying he was still the most beautiful thing Brendan had ever seen. "Where you wanna take me?"
"Where do you wanna go?"
"Dublin." Steven said and laughed at Brendan's surprised face. "I wanna see where you grew up. And we could see Declan and I could meet Paddy. I mean if it's okay with you." He quickly added.
"It is. I just thought you'd be wanting something more warm than Dublin." Brendan smiled.
"I've heard it's lovely this time of the year." Steven took Brendan's hand and kissed it's palm.
"What about your work in telly, though?"
"Well, I kinda quit." Steven smiled sheepishly. "It was about to be a big mess and Clarke was raging about me breaking the contract even when there would only be few months left anyway. But Mitzeee came up with an idea. I'll give an interview on the show about what happened, exclusive only to them. That way I should get all the other medias out from my neck and Clarke gets his big story, and he was very pleased with that."
"And what about you? How do you feel about that?"
"It's okay. If that's what it takes to get my contract done and the press to back away, that's what I do. They also postponed my book because no one wants to use the pics Walker took and I'm not up for new photos just yet. I might, one day. I do like the idea of having my own book, just being in front of cameras again..."
"It will all work out." Brendan said and Steven leaned to kiss him. While Steven's soft lips pressed against his Brendan thought that even if his right arm would never be the same he was alive and he had Steven, so it was a small price to pay.
He watched Steven's interview in his hospital room with Declan and Cheryl. Steven looked nervous but gorgeous as fuck with his smart shirt and pants, and the interviewers were very sensitive, not asking anything too detailed. Steven told his story, how he was doing now and why he wasn't going to return to his show anymore. He ended the interview stating how thankful he was for all the support he had got over the year and fans he gained, but it was time for him to move on and forget everything that had happened. Brendan was bursting with pride and crabbed Steven in a tight squeeze when he finally arrived in the ward from the studio. In the same afternoon doctors informed that they were very pleased with Brendan's recovery and would let him go home in couple of days. Steven paid lot of attention when the nurse came in to explain how to take care of the wounds at home and how to change the dressings, how much pain medication was allowed to use in a day, what kind of exercises Brendan should do at home to make his arm stronger. Brendan could already tell that Steven would be fussing over him a lot during the upcoming weeks.
The day they discharged Brendan was a dim one, sky full of dark clouds and rain dripping down in a steady stream, but the smile on Steven's face couldn't have been brighter and it made Brendan feel like a warm sunny day. He would still have to get lot of physio therapy and get his wounds checked up but the relief of getting home was making both of them giddy with joy, and both Cheryl and Declan seemed overjoyed too.
They all got in Cheryl's car, Declan in the front and Steven and Brendan in the back. Steven sat as close as Brendan's good side as he could and took a tight hold of his left hand, and didn't let go the whole time it took for them to drive at Steven's place.
There was familiarity in a way Cheryl and Declan walked on Steven's place and Brendan was glad the three of them had been taking care of one another while he had been hospitalized. He had been dreading a bit how Declan and Steven would come along but they joked a lot and Brendan could see genuine warmth between them. Declan instantly made himself comfortable on the couch until Cheryl asked him to help with the food, and Steven forced Brendan to sat down and made sure he was comfortable in a way which Brendan couldn't decide was it adorable or annoying. He had always been the one taking care of the others but somehow he didn't mind to let Steven take care of him for once.
It was already late afternoon and they had skipped the lunch so they were all hungry, and they had a massive meal. Steven seemed pleased to see that Brendan got his appetite back even though he couldn't resist some joking either.
"Starting from tomorrow I need to pay more attention to your foods, now when you can't get into full training just yet. I don't want to go out with a tubby."
"Jesus, I just got out from the hospital after being shot and you only care about my looks." Brendan said back and laid his hand quickly on Steven's thigh to soothe his words when he saw the memory flashing in his eye. Steven gave him a soft smile and the Cheryl changed the subject, talking about Christmas and what plans she had for it.
After the meal they are crashed on Steven's sofa's, Cheryl and Declan on one and after Brendan found a comfortable position in the other Steven slotted himself against his side, fingers gently stroking the good arm Brendan had thrown over him. He could feel his pain killers loosing their effect and the aching returning to his body, but Steven's presence helped. Never would have he thought he could spend time with his sister, son and his very male partner like this, but it was nice, comfortable. He was too tired to speak much himself but listening Steven and Declan chatting and Cheryl making some remarks in between was more than good.
Just when his aches were starting to get too annoying to ignore Steven turned to look at him.
"Are you getting tired?"
"A bit." Brendan hated to admit but Cheryl instantly rose up.
"It is getting late, I better get Deccy to my place anyway."
"You won't stay here?" Brendan asked from Declan. He had thought he would sleep in the room upstairs.
"I'm staying with auntie Cheryl. She said you two would need some private time." He was grinning when he said that but Brendan could still see Steven getting flushed deliciously. Declan waited until Brendan had got himself up and then hugged him and then gave a quick hug for Steven too. "I'll see yous two tomorrow."
"Have a rest, yeah, see you later." Cheryl gave them both a kiss and then they were gone.
"Here," Steven fetched Brendan's pain medication and glass of water, "these should help."
"Thank you." Brendan chunked them down eagerly. And then Steven was in his arms, head on his left shoulder, and Brendan could tell he didn't dare to hold him as tight as he would have wanted to. He kissed Steven's hair and then Steven tilted his head up and kissed his beard and then his mouth, and Brendan realised it was first proper kiss they'd had the whole day. It went on for a long while, and once Steven finally pulled back Brendan could see he was blinking away tears.
"Do you want to get washed up? Come on." He took Brendan's hand and lead him to their bedroom.
He helped him to undress and even when Brendan only struggled with his hoodie's right arm and taking off his T-shirt he didn't mind Steven pushing down his pants either. Steven carefully removed the dressings from his shoulder and flank, and Brendan could see how much it hurt him to see the wounds.
"Hey." He stroked Steven's chin. "It's okay. I'll be okay. I promise."
Steven nodded and then started to strip himself. It felt like forever when Brendan had last seen him naked and despite memorising every inch of that golden skin the sight still took his breath away. Those hairy legs, that crappy tattoo on his narrow pelvis, the way his ribs were slightly visible when he moved, it was everything Brendan could have ever wanted from a man.
Steven took his hand again and lead him in the bathroom and in the shower, where he gently but thoroughly washed Brendan, minding the wounds and making sure the water didn't hit them directly. Brendan did his best to return the favor but he felt clumsy, not still able to lift his right hand up properly but Steven still melted against his touch. Once they were done Steven patted Brendan dry with great care and then took out the new dressings from Brendan's medical bag and covered the wounds up.
Brendan knew it was early still but he was exhausted, not being used to stay up this long and he knew Steven hadn't been sleeping well either, so they both seemed just as eager to get in bed.
"No, take the other side." Steven said when Brendan was going to his usual side. "We need to switch so I won't be crushing your wounds while I sleep."
"Just till I get better, yeah? It's weird to be in this side." Brendan made his way on the other side and Steven slid next to him.
"I know." Steven kissed his left shoulder. Brendan tried to make himself comfortable and Steven rested his hand over his chest when they laid silently for a while before Steven whispered "I have missed you so much."
"I have missed you too." Brendan tried to turn to his side for a better look but winced from the aching. But then Steven pushed himself up to his elbow and leaned on top of his good side and kissed him, deep and hard. His breath was getting quicker and Brendan could feel him getting stiff against his hip. He slipped his left arm around Steven and stroked his bum, slid a finger down on his crack and rubbed his hole. Steven's kisses were getting more desperate.
He pulled back a little, breathing in to Brendan's mouth. "Are you hurting much?"
"Not that much." Brendan licked Steven's bottom lip and the moan escaping for the lad made his own dick twitch eagerly.
"Wait." Steven pushed himself up, put on the light on the nightstand, grabbed another pillow and pushed it behind Brendan so he was more upwards position. "Tell me if it's too much, yeah?" And then he slid down pushing the cover out of the way while he went, until he made himself comfortable between Brendan's legs.
He nibbled Brendan's thighs for a long time, one hand stroking his balls, before nuzzling the base of his dick. His tongue came out to give teasing flicks there until he licked all the way up, hand sneaking around him and pulling back the skin to expose the head so he could lick it too. Then Steven was tracing his wet lips up and down his shaft, giving a wet suck to the head every now and then before returning to give his attention to the shaft.
"God, Steven." Brendan reached to stroke Steven's hair.
Steven took him in his fist and gave him slow strokes while nuzzling his pubes again, throwing filthy glances towards him. "You taste so amazing." He breathed against Brendan's skin, "I want to make you feel good."
"Jesus, Steven, you have no idea." And when Steven finally took him properly in his mouth Brendan couldn't stop himself groaning. He wanted to squeeze his eyes shut because seeing Steven blowing him and watching Brendan's reactions under his long lashes was driving him near the edge already, but the sight was also so mesmerizing he didn't want to miss a second.
Steven pulled away when Brendan felt he might start coming at any second. His lips were wet and red and his voice was full of need. "I want to feel you so bad."
"Come here."
Steven crawled on top of him, minding his right side, and kissed him with great enthusiasm. Brendan could taste himself from his tongue, and he could feel Steven's hard dick pressing against his stomach. "Touch me," he begged.
"Where's the lube?" Brendan nipped his bottom lip before Steven leaned towards the nightstand. It took him a while to find the lube from the drawer and Brendan used the opportunity to stroke his bum, before Steven finally found what he was looking for and shuffled back, straddling Brendan's left tight. Brendan opened his hand and Steven poured generous amount of lube in his fingers before tossing the tube away and once Brendan slid his hand down his crack Steven pressed against him again and kissed him deeply while Brendan played with him.
Brendan loved the way Steven kept pushing back against his hand while he stroked and toyed with the surroundings, and the noises he made once Brendan gave him what he wanted and slipped his fingers in. Brendan swallowed his moans and gasps while Steven rocked on his digits, and he slid his right hand between their bodies to take hold of Steven's dick clumsily. Steven let out a cry and pulled back a little.
"I want you in me." Steven moaned and Brendan had to grab a hold of himself instead to stop himself coming just from that.
"Get on, then." Brendan pulled his fingers out slowly and stroked rest of the lube on his dick before Steven took a hold of it while he got himself in a right position, crouching on top of him and slowly sinking down on him, making them both moan.
Steven reached his hands back on Brendan's knees for support and started to move, giving Brendan the perfect view to watch himself disappearing inside Steven's body when he moved up and down. He took hold of Steven's dick with his left hand while his right stroked Steven's hairy ankle, trying not to come from how amazing it felt and how hot Steven looked while taking his pleasure form him. Brendan could tell he was close too, that the separation had driven them both crazy with need.
"Brendan," his voice was low and filthy, "please, I want to feel you come."
And that was it, Brendan couldn't hold back anymore. He could hear Steven's moans over his own grunts when he came, and Steven sunk down lower, shaking and Brendan could feel the splatters of his cum landing on his chest and belly.
Steven stayed on him a long time while they were getting their breaths back, trying to lean his weight on Brendan's good side. Brendan could still start to feel the throbbing ache in the wound of his side but he had no complains. He actually found the thought of few teared stitch caused by the sex with Steven quite amusing and totally worth it. When Steven finally rose up from him he was already feeling sorry for the loss, and this time it was Steven who took some wipes and cleaned them both up. Brendan already dreamed the day when he could bang his boy properly again, have him tied down and fuck him the whole night.
Once Steven had wiped off all the cum he made himself comfortable on Brendan's side. Brendan stroked his back and Steven had his arm draped over him. Brendan felt like he could drift away any second.
"Brendan? I have something to tell you."
"Mmh? What is it? Is something wrong?" Brendan was instantly awake again, but Steven stoked his chest soothingly.
"No, everything is fine. But I have talked to a realtor and I'm putting this place into a market."
"What? Why?"
"It's too big. I'm looking for something smaller, with just two bedroom if the kids or lads come to visit. And I want to start a new, you know? After everything."
"I'm sorry, Steven, that this happened and you feel like you need to leave your home because of it."
"This has never been my home, not properly. Not until... Not until you moved in." Steven kissed his chest. "And I was kinda hoping you would, if you want to, come with me to the new place too."
"Steven." Brendan pulled him closer. "Of course I will. But I'll pay for it too, yeah? If it's... If it's going to be our home, I want to be fully part of it too."
"Our home." Steven repeated and smiled so widely Brendan's heart skipped a beat. "And I also started to look place for my own business."
"Really? That's... That's amazing."
"I have my savings and I should get enough money out from this place so I should afford it. Something small, not as massive as Tony's. Or... I was thinking... A place where people could come and relax after work, some place where they could get a drink and also something to eat, but not like a regular pub but something more, howd' you say it, sophisticated? Like a club or something. And I was thinking... If I choose that... I might need someone who knows something about running a club to work with me."
Brendan didn't know what to say. Steven was looking at him carefully, waiting his reactions. "Sounds like you have been thinking about everything." Brendan finally managed and cleared his throat. "You sure you won't get sick of me?"
"That's the danger." Steven laughed before got serious. "I don't want to let you out of my sight again."
"I thought it was my job to look after you 24/7, not the other way round." Brendan mumbled against his hair.
"See? You have to live and work with me so you can keep up with that. And do you really think I'll let you go and live with another client, you might fall for them instead."
"Steven..." This felt like the perfect moment for Brendan to say it. The words which were burning in his blood and dancing on his tongue. He was sure he could remember Steven breathing those words to him while he was laying on the roof, bleeding, and he wanted to return them. But even when he had said it to Eileen all those years ago, he had said it to his sons and to his sister, it felt so much more important now. It was so much that he feared he might explode from the power of it.
Steven seemed to sense it, because he leaned up to kiss the side of his mouth. "Shh. Let's just enjoy you being back home, yeah? There is no rush, is there?"
A month from now they would be standing on a bridge of Brendan's home town, black winter night around them and the lights of the streets and the shimmering river illuminating Steven like a creature Brendan had dreamed up, too perfect to be real. He would choke out those words then, just to see that after the first time saying them would become as natural as breathing. I love you, Steven. I can't live my life without you. He would taste the tears of joy from Steven's mouth when he kisses him there, not caring who might see.
Few months from that Steven would jokingly propose Brendan in his new kitchen with a ring made from bread dough, and Brendan would refuse to answer before going into a jewelry shop the next day and buying them a proper rings. Yes, I will, while slipping the gold ring on to Steven's finger. Those gossip magazines who still were interested about ex-TV chef with a tragic events in his life would get a hint of their engagement and doom their marriage to fail, but they would prove them wrong.
But now, Brendan tilted Steven's face up and kissed him one more time, putting all his feelings into it before they settled back, Steven's head on Brendan's heart, Brendan's fingers drawing lazy circles between his shoulders.
"We have all the time in the world."
Thank you so much for everyone who's been reading and leaving lovely comments, it has helped me to gain more confidence with writing and finish this baby. I hope you have enjoyed the ride (insert filthy Stendan sex joke here) as much as I liked writing it. All this supporting feedback is greatly treasured xxx.