Everything hurt Erin. All the feelings that she has been bottling up has finally been let loose. She felt hot tears forming in her eyes and hated herself even more for crying over this. She didn't mean to throw him out, she knew she needed him as she was unable to take care of himself but it hurt her to see him give up so much in order to take care of her. Erin was the one who was supposed to give things to Jay, not take things away from him and lately that's all that she has been doing.

"It's for the better," she kept reminding herself over and over in her head as the tears continued to roll down her flushed cheeks. Without even noticing it her hand was still on the door since the time she slammed it shut and put up the barrier between her and Jay.

On the other side of the door sat Jay. His back leaned against the wall and his knees brought up to his chest. He wasn't mad, he wasn't crying, he wasn't feeling anything really. Jay knew Erin and knew this was going to happen, but even after expecting it it still hit him hard. All he could do was replay that moment in his head over and over again.

"Get the hell out! And stay the hell away from me."

He heard the pain in her voice, he saw the hurt in her eyes. Even though he knew he had to be with her, to help her get better, the best thing he could do right now is give her space. So he sat, and waited outside of her door hoping she would open it before it becomes too late. Erin lived in a large apartment building, filled with different kinds of people. From families to college students to single people hoping to find something better in life, you can find all of them in her building and tonight for some odd reason it was quiet. Everything will still and silent, no one running through the halls or on the phone talking. It was just Jay, leaning against the wall, thinking to himself.

Amongst the quietness he heard some sniffles, it sounded like it was coming from her apartment. It was Erin. He could hear her crying it hurt him not to barge in there and hold her in his arms. He let her have her time to calm down before he decided to knock on the door.

Over half an hour had passed and Jay finally heard Erin's sniffling subdue. Of course there weren't only tears, he heard some things crashing and her cursing and it took so much will power out of him to not help her, but now he could. He heard her settle down and quickly got up to his feet. He slowly put his hand flat on the door and sighed before he formed it into a fist and gently knocked on it.

"Erin..." he called out to her. As expected he got no response, this time he knocked a bit harder.

Erin heard the way he called her name, it was more of a plea than anything. He wanted to help so why wouldn't she let him? Why was she making this so hard for the both of them? Why wasn't she ready to just let him back in?

They sat in silence on opposite ends of the door, every so often she would hear him again. Calling her, asking her to open the door, repeating the words "please" and "I'm sorry" until it was burned in her brain.

She was ready to give up. To leave the door and leave his voice. She straightened herself in her chair and wiped the tears away from her face before she began to wheel away from the door. As she did she heard her name being called again. This time the voice was different, it was deeper and more gruff. Voight.

Erin wheeled back to the door and slowly unlocked it, opening it slightly she saw voights figure standing right by it. She couldn't see Jay's face as voight was blocking her vision from him but she knew he was there.

"Uhh, why don't you come back later Jay. I'll talk to her." Voight told Jay and nodded before he entered her apartment.

As he walked into her apartment she wheeled herself over by the island in the kitchen and turned around to face him. He opened the fridge and took out a beer, popping the tab off.

"Hey kid, how're ya feeling?" He asked

Erin just smiled and shrugged her shoulders. She didn't really know how she felt, she was feeling everything at once.

"I don't remember how long it took for me to finally let you take care of me." She began talking. Her eyes stayed focused on the floor but she felt voight's stare on her.

"It took about a few months and a lot of terrible events to happen to you for you to finally realize that I could help you." He helped her remember.

Erin just laughed, "what worse event could happen to me right now other than getting into a car crash and being temporarily paralyzed to make me realize that Jay is only trying to help?"

Voight didn't know how to answer that. In all honesty he was confused himself as to why she wouldn't let Jay take care of her.

They sat in silence before he finally realized what she was doing, "You're building walls Erin. It's what you do, it's what you are good at. And it's going to take some time for him to break them down if you completely shut him out, but let him help you Erin. It's what you both need."

"He doesn't need to help me. He shouldn't have to help me. He needs someone to be there for him, to help him and give him the things he deserves. He deserves love, a friendship, a family. I can't give him that anymore and I know in the long run he will resent me for not being able to give that to him." She finally let it out and it felt like a weight lifted off her shoulders.

"Why don't you tell that to him? You make the poor guy wait hours outside of your door, he's miserable. Call him back, talk to him. Don't put your walls up." Voight reassured her before he gave her a nudge and walked out of the apartment.

He was right and even though she didn't want him to be, she knew he was right too. Lately she's lost everyone and she really did not want to lose Jay too.

She tried to grab her phone that laid on the counter and after a few unsuccessful tries she finally got it. Quickly she looked for Jay's contact number and clicked call. She heard the sound of the dial tone for a couple of times before he picked up.

"Erin?" His voice sounded hoarse, tired, and filled with worry.

"Uh... hey, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind coming back over." She asked him

"I never left the building, I'll be right up." He hung up the phone and smiled at the fact that she called him first.

In almost a light sprint he got out of his car and made his way the elevator. It wasn't going fast enough for him and his heart was beating faster than it should've.

Unintentionally, he aggressively knocked on her door but slowed it down as he realized what he was doing. She opened the door and it took him a quick second to realize he had to look down to see her again as she was not in his eye level.

He walked inside and she wheeled in behind him.

"You wanted to talk?" He asked, unsure of what was exactly going to happen.

"I'm sorry for kicking you out. I'm sorry for everything I've done to you lately. I know you want to help, I know you want to be there for me but Jay..." she paused looking up at him.

"I want you to stop. I want you to stop helping me, I want you... I need you to go back out there and live your life. This cannot be yourself, losing everything to help me? I can't live to see that Jay. You deserve a lot better."

"Erin what are you talking about? I'm not losing anything to help you."

"Jay... being with me, I can't promise you that I will give you what you need. I can't promise that I will get better one day, better enough to give you enough love, to give you a family, to give you the happy ending that you want. I don't want me to deprive you of that."

"Don't you get it? You are what I need. How do you expect me to just go out there? I won't be able to stop thinking about you because I love you Erin. I will make sure you get better, and this is good for us, you can trust that I will always be there for you and I know you will too. Erin don't throw this away. You aren't doing me any favors by making me leave."

"I'm definitely not doing any favors by making you clean up after me, or helping me do basic stuff that even a little kid can do."

"Stop it Erin! Stop thinking that you are being a burden on me. You are not. I don't know what it's gonna take for you to realize that. The day I decided to be your partner was the day I promised myself, voight, and you that I will take care of you. I will be here when you are at a low and when you are at a high because that is what partners do Erin. We take care of each other. We are each other's backup."

Erin smiled at his last line. He always knew how to tug at her feelings.

"Promise me this..." she began

"Promise me that if I don't show any progress in a few months you won't leave me. Promise me that you won't regret staying with me because I can't trust you now if you are only going to leave me later."

"Erin I promise. I promise to be here today, tomorrow, in a few months, in a few years. I promise to hold you up when you need me to, to be standing with you when you take your first steps again, to be standing at the altar watching you walk down the aisle, and to be holding our little baby next to you. I promise Erin and I hold that promise every day."

"I love you too Jay Halstead." She said before she smiled and tugged on his shirt to bring him closer to her and kissed him again. This was the first time she'd kissed him since the accident. He missed the feeling of her lips against his, her warm taste. He promised himself that he was going to help her get better. She had to.