N: Now things are getting kinky. Hm, I TOTALLY did not expect this. Oh, well. I'll go along with it, though I'm not sure this should be posted on Dokuga with the added Naraku... Hmmm. Any opinions? By the way, this may come as a surprise, but I DO NOT own Inuyasha. Go figure. (P.S. Someone mentioned there should be art for this fic. I can't draw for the life of me, but if someone did draw something, I would go berserk with happiness.)

Tea Party of the Villainous

"I really don't think this is a good idea."

Naraku smirked down at the miko, who was wrapped in a trench coat and carrying a basket of dog treats. Beneath the jacket, she was wearing her brand-spanking-new lingerie.

"Now, poppet," he whispered in her ear, raising goose bumps on her smooth skin. "If you want the dog to be friendly, you must offer him a treat."

"Can't I just bake him some lemon bars or something?"

Naraku curled a lip. "Lemon bars?"

"Never mind."

"No hesitation, ma petite." He gently pushed her up the walkway and she made a note in her mind to ask him later where he had learned french. "Go."

Kagome frowned back at the devilish half-demon, but resigned herself to her fate. She trudged up the door and knocked morosely. Vaguely, she hoped the taiyoukai wouldn't answer, like he hadn't the whole previous week, but she had a feeling curiosity would overcome him.

The door swung open.

Kagome gazed up at the towering demon lord hesitantly.

"Hey Sesshomaru," she said nervously. "I, uh, have something I want to show you."

Kagome glanced back desperately at the sly hanyou, only to find he had disappeared. She turned to look back at Sesshomaru, who frowning at her goody basket. She thrust it at him.

"Here!"

"Miko-"

"And I have something else." The basket out of her hands now, Kagome made quick work of her coat tie, and with flare that surprised her, she whipped it open like a flasher. Naraku, Toga, and Midoriko had instructed her on how to act sexy, which Kagome had promptly forgot. However her embarrassed strip tease must have worked because Sesshomaru's eyes widened, and were focused on her perky assets.

"One more thing," she muttered to herself, gathering her courage with a deep breath. Clumsily she reached for the back of his head and dragged him down to her level, where she promptly kissed him. With a nibble and a lick of his lower lip she tore herself away with difficulty, trying to ignore the heat that lingered between her thighs.

"Come over for tea tomorrow?" she asked, and before he could respond she wrapped her coat around herself and scurried away.

Once in her own home, Kagome let out a deep sigh of relief and leaned against her door. Looking up she found where Naraku had disappeared to.

"You ditched me!" Kagome accused, though with no real heat.

"I highly doubt he would have responded well with me lingering," responded Naraku as he advanced upon her.

Kagome crossed her arms, pouting slightly but not really able to come up with an argument against it. Naraku was only a hairsbreadth away and bending over slightly.

"Now, miko," he whispered. "I think it's my turn." He dipped his head and caught her lips, demanding, insistent, rough. The heat that had formed after Sesshomaru's kiss returned, but before she could respond Naraku pulled away. He licked his lips, and his ruby eyes gleamed at her.

"I think," he murmured seductively, "that next time I will dress you in my colors."