Dear Chloe,

Tonight I had my first detention with McGonagall. It wasn't that bad. I just had to write lines out. I have detention for the next two evenings. It won't be that bad. Mother will probably be pissed when she finds out I have three detentions and it's only the second week of term. She might even kill me. Ha. She'll probably lecture me in a letter, or something…ask me why I hit Malfoy (he just flat out deserved it), that I shouldn't do it…etc. etc.

The only down side to all of this detention (because it's really not that bad to write out lines) is that I won't have as much time to do the extremely large amounts of homework that I have. It just seems to pile up every night. No matter how much I do one evening I always have more to do…it's never done. I'll have to stay up later now to finish it and that upsets me. This upsets me a lot.

I want to dream. I want to see what happens to Harry, Ron and Hermione in my dream. I have so many questions about it. Why am I not there with them? What does it all mean? Why is the dog or Grim dragging Ron into this tunnel and dusty old creaking house? Oh, I have so many questions and I feel the only way I can find out about them is if I dream. I was so mad that Harry woke me the last time I dreamed, but I suppose if he hadn't I would have gotten in even more trouble with McGonagall.

The next item of irritation that I wish to speak to you about is that of Amelia. That damned little girl. I'm starting to hate her more then I hate Amber. And hate is a very strong word. I can't believe that she is even looking at that pig Draco Malfoy. And I can't believe that I ever looked at him. I don't remember if I told you that I met a boy in Diagon Alley, at the book store, yea that was Draco. And I flirted and fed his ego…just thinking about it makes me sick to my stomach.

What's even more concerning is that when I saw them together today at breakfast I had an image flash in my head, like it was right there in front of me to watch, like one of those Muggle videos. I saw them together, happy and laughing—like a happy couple. And then I saw Amelia telling Malfoy to suck up his pain, stop whining like a girl because he was embarrassing her. I wasn't really sure what to think of it. It was just a flash in my head, gone as soon as it had come. The reason why I'm concerned about it is because it feels like my dream. I had the same weird eerie feeling then as I do when I wake up from after having one of my dreams. It was just weird and I don't like it.

I've discovered why I recognized Professor Lupin. He was good friends with my Father and Mother when they were in school. Well enough friends to be Amber's godfather. Yes, I know, shocking! Imagine the look on my face in his office when he told me. I was really on edge at that point, just having been yelled at by McGonagall, so his news kind of caught me off guard and pissed me off. I feel like everything in my life has been a giant secret. I asked him who my godfather was, just to see if he really did know my family the way he suggested he did. He did, he answered my question right. James Potter was my godfather. Weird, isn't it? When you think about it…Harry's Dad was my godfather and my Dad was his. They must have been insanely close.

Do you feel like my life is a giant secret to me, despite the fact that it's supposed to be my life? I feel that way all the time…like I'm not really living my life because I don't know it. I didn't really know my history until a few weeks ago.

Chloe, I wish I had a Father. I wish I had a Dad who had been there for me. And even though he's escaped I still don't have him. I'm sure he's written to Mother many times. I just…I don't know Chloe. I wish that he knew me. I wish that he cared…or even pretended to. I know it would hurt if he only pretended but at least I'd have something, and I'd have the pain to prove I'm alive. Do you think he remembers me? Do you think he cares? Chloe, I want to be loved. I wish I had that perfect family structure, but I don't. I have a really messed up family. I don't know if I can forgive him for not being there for me…whether it was his fault or not that he was put to Azkaban. Does that make me a bad person?

Lupin told me not to worry about Amelia and Malfoy. He said that we are so young…why should it matter who she dates? Just because she's dating him doesn't mean she will be in the next four years of school, and it doesn't mean she's going to marry him. And I suppose he's right. But I can't help but not like it. It's wrong I think. And I think it reflects a large part of Amelia's personality. She doesn't appear to have any morals anymore. And I can't decide if they were never there and she did a good job pretending to have them, or if Malfoy has changed her in such a short time. I don't know…I suppose I have to think about it more. Not that I really want to. But I don't want to lose my sister. I may hate her, and not get along with her a majority of the time, but I still love her and she is still my sister. It's just a faze…she'll realize what Malfoy really is and let him go. She'll figure it out before it becomes serious. At least, that's what I hope.

Those are my thoughts for the evening. Now I should return to my Transfiguration homework that I have neglected for the last twenty minutes writing this letter. Please forgive how my train of thought just jumps all over the place in this letter…I was just writing as I thought and what I thought.

So Signed,

Serena.