Dying For Some Sun

TEN

Dead Inside

A/N: Please don't kill me for this chapter... chucks chapter a snarling but loyal fan fic readers and runs...

Enjoy JoxX

Eric had stopped walking brushing the hair out of my face, I swallowed he looked like he was going to kiss me, was I going to let him kiss me? Oh hell he's coming towards me, oh god I am closing my eyes shit, shit. Mmm, oh that feels so good. Oh wow. I am putting my tongue in his mouth and he is totally putting his in mine. Sweet Jesus that man can kiss. Mmm.

He pulled away slightly, "Yield to me Sookie," he whispered into my mouth. That snapped me back to reality, which was a good thing too because those Were's were really close now, planning to attack. I took a step to separate us, looking around listening, my hand held in front of me my head tilted.

"Kill no one, get their flag, protect your flag," Eric said his face blank marble. What? Get their flag? protect your flag? Eric removed a flag from his inside pocket of his jacket. I turned round to see an older man with a small flag in the distance, coming towards us was lots of Were's in various states of undress and change emerged from the darkness. It was a test. I felt gutted, like I'd been punched in the stomach, the whole date had been to lull me into a false sense of security. Urgh, how could I have been so stupid, I ran my hand through my hair. I thought it was a night off, like a Vampire gets a nights off. I shivered, oh God this is my life now, there is no escape for me, I fought to keep the tears at bay.

"Sookie," Eric pulled me out of my freefalling thoughts, gloping shimmying sounds sounded all around us as the Weres changed and went all furry. "Use any means to get the flag, while protecting ours." Eric said.

I stood stock still watching all the Were's advancing, "Sookie," Eric said more sharply. I stayed stock still, reaching out to the Were's with my mind, pushing my thoughts into them suddenly they all began fighting thin air. All believed they were fighting me, if I wasn't so gutted I'd have though it was really funny. I reached out to the Were with the flags mind and he began walking towards us, believing I was the president of the United States and he was in a parade and he had the honour of presenting the President with the flag.

He bowed handing over the flag, "It's an honour Mr President."

"You have served your country well, at ease," I said. I turned and handed the flag to Eric, "I hope I passed," I said with all the disappointment I felt. I was so very tired, not my body but my soul. My very soul was tired. I released all the Were's from my thrall so I wouldn't have to deal with Eric's responds, cowardly of me I know.

The Were's all looked confused and their thoughts were jumbled mess of 'what happened?' Eric didn't even look smug, his face was perfect blank. "The test is over Flood your Were's fought admirably but my child, succeeded in her task," he said his voice held no emotion.

The Colonel and Eric spoke for a few minutes, then the Were's were dismissed. Leaving just Eric and I, "Sookie, I am..."

"Thank you so much Eric, you taught me a valuable lesson, one I'll never forget," I cut him off. For the first time since I was turned I felt truly dead, cold, Vampire. I think if I allowed myself to feel, I'd just make a horrid emotional scene.

"Sookie, let me explain," he began.

"You do not need to explain yourself to me Master, again thank you, I must never be complacent. It was hardly a surprise, I was aware of them since a few blocks from the cinema. But a pertinent point all the same," I hugged my arms across my chest, began walking back the way we came. I could feel Eric standing there watching me as I walked, after a few seconds he joined me.

"Your telepathy and glamour I have greatly underestimated, it seems," he said.

I said nothing, as I walked to the car berating myself the whole way there. Of course Eric Northman doesn't date, stupid, stupid, stupid, went my inner voice and the other voice; because you usually have two right? Agreed. Usually one is on your side, but not this time. Hurt all the more because they were right.

What hurt the most was; up until I found out all of it was a lie, a fake date, it had been the best date I'd ever had. How sad is that? More than that like the total dumb ass that I am, I had began having feelings for Eric. Holy hockey sticks I'd even kissed him. Like he was ever going to give up the ever ready steady stream of fangbangers for me- what a simpleton, I am so naive. We are Vampire.

"What are you thinking?" Eric asked quietly just as we reached the car.

"That I am terribly naive, I have much to learn," I answer honestly. Eric never said anything in responds to that, he drove in silence. When we got to the house he heated a blood bank blood handing it to me like some Vampire Capri sun. "I very much enjoyed tonight," he said not even looking at me, he couldn't even be sincere added one of the unhelpful voices of my mind.

"Not like it meant anything, right? All a means to an end. Thank you again, I am going to have a shower now if you don't need me for anything else Master," I nodded in respect to him, feeling anything but. I felt betrayed, hurt, played. I needed to shower, I needed to get his scent off me.

"Danger can come at anytime," he began, looking awkward. Just then there was knock on the front door, sending out my telepathy it was Pam. I opened the door to her, "No Were's out there?" I said to her sarcastically. She gave me a funny look.

"Master, you are well?" she eyed Eric curiously, as if she knew different I noticed the bond between Eric and I was deathly quiet, had he shut it off?

I smiled all fake "I'll take that shower now, if I am done with my lessons," I addressed Eric. He simply nodded. I didn't hang around with Vamp speed I was out of there, I laid out my nightie and work clothes for tomorrow. Hopefully Claudine was working tomorrow she always made me feel better. I turned on the shower and stepped under the stream, then and only then did I allow myself to cry.

Finally when I had cried enough did I leave the comfort of the warm water. I dried my hair slipped on the nightie and got into my bed and attempted to read, when I heard the knock on my door I had read the same line some eight times. Don't you just hate it when that happens? You can't concentrate for love nor money.

"Come in," I called, steeling myself. It was Pam.

She looked round the room crinkling her nose, best just to pull the band aid off, "what can I help you with?" I said in an annoyed tone.

"To start with, you can fuck our master and if you follow that by falling on a sharp piece of wood, it would just make my night," she smiled sneered.

"Now why would I do something so, stupid?" I asked.

"Pfft," Pam made a little sound in responds to that. "Eric has never dated anyone, it's beneath him to date, he likes you," she said staring at me.

"Yes, he told me, I like him too," I answered.

"You do?" she asked like she couldn't believe her ears, her voice even sounded hopeful.

"Yes, I see now that he's a fair maker. A good sheriff what's not to like?" I answered coldly.

"That's not what I meant, Urgh why do I even bother with you?" she snapped.

"I don't know why you bother with me? its not like we are friends. If I had my way, it would you falling on the pointy sharp piece of wood," I glared at her in no mood for Pam's shit.

"Eric feel's..."

"Pam, we are Vampires we don't feel, we're dead remember. Sentiments are for humans who need them to give meaning to their pathetically short lives." I didn't believe any of it of course, but I wished I could, not about the humans but not feeling. Everything hurt more now that I was Vampire, I carried on reading. Ignoring her presences in my room, after a few minutes she got the hint, silently getting up and walking out the door slamming it behind her. Bitch. If I breathed I would have let out a big breath.

Dawn felt like it took ages to come, I was more than ready to die for the day. Another couple of weeks passed with more training, having to feed like a Vampire with other Vampires. Trying to control my baser instincts, as people had sex around me. If I wasn't already dead, I could have died the first time everyone around me started to get their nasty on. Eric funnily never joined these group feedings it was always Pam who took me.

As my command not to sleep with anyone was still intact and I was very much under Eric's command during the night, it made it easier to hold back. Excruciating pain is such a good incentive, one time I was actually thankful for it. I don't sleep around. I don't count Bobby as only one of us remembers it. It was like when you're on a diet and cheat, calories you consume without anyone seeing you don't count.

I had just finished one of these feeding sessions, when I felt Eric's call. I glanced at Pam was still doing God knows what to a fangabanger. She hadn't felt it at all, so only me then.

Oh dear lord is that a cross bow...? how gutted was Sookie would you be too?