The burning. The never ending waves of pain. Who would ever choose this? I screamed out and begged them to make it stop, to suck out the venom, a painful process in itself but anything, anything to make this burning stop. The tiny flames I'd felt from the small bite of James was nothing, it was like comparing a paper cut to a stab wound, it hadn't prepared me, nothing could prepare you.

Think of my memories? How could anyone think of anything but this pain? Wave after wave of fire licking through my veins, it only grew hotter and hotter and I couldn't get away from it so I screamed, I screamed and screamed and begged them to stop it, to make it better, to save me. Three days, 72 hours, how could it be taking so long for so little time to pass, because time had stopped, there was no more time, only burning.

Peter held me against him, he never set me down and I begged him, begged him to make it stop. My back bowed and I heard bones snap as I struggled against the flames. Alice held my hand and mopped my forehead but I couldn't feel any of it, only the fire, the molten lava that had become my blood, the burning acid eating me from the inside out.

Vagueley I could hear them talking, my throat had become to horse to scream, the acid was there, eating away at my vocal cords.

"Think of Charlie Bella. Remember your father, he's a police chief." Alice would say and an image of Charlie came to mind, Charlie, he'd save me from this pain, I cried out for him but there were no words that came, only a strangled scream. "Renee and Arizona, remember you took ballet." She'd say.

"Focus on the memories darlin, on anything good." I heard Jasper urging me.

Good? Was there anything good beyond this torture? Was there anything but burning? I'd been selfish, I wanted to live forever with them and instead I was burning, burning in hell forever.

It got worse, the flames growing higher and higher and I couldn't take it, it had changed again, moved through me to encompass my whole body and now, now that it was at its hottest it was moving through me again, collecting all the heat together and flowing out of my limbs towards my body, the waves of heat coming together to grow hotter still as it moved out from each organ and into my heart. It's heavy beat sluggish and slow, I didn't care, I just wanted it to end, for the torture to stop, death would be welcome. White hot the fire seared into my heart and with a tiny quivering sigh my heart shuddered and stopped, with its final searing pulse, the fire ended with it.

I sucked in cool air and then stilled, when had my eyes closed? I wondered absently, was the pain over now or would the flames come back? Was I dead?

I felt a wave of love and blinked, "Hello darlin." Jasper was smiling gently at me and I felt tears in my eyes, no not tears, venom.

"Is it over?" I whisper, afraid and happy all at once.

He gives a small smile and gentle nod, "I'm going to come a bit closer alright?"

I nod and smile at him, "It's over." I repeat.

Jasper nods again and moves a little closer to me, "It's over darlin, you're one of us now."

I can't help it, happiness swells to me and I haven't even thought about how much I want to hug him when I'm off the bed, across the room and hugging him.

Jasper is chuckling, "Little tight there baby girl."

"Sorry." I blush and step back, no I don't, I raise a hand to my cheek, there is no heat to my skin, I only feel like I should be blushing. I'm a foot from him and look around in wonder before focusing on him. My breath hitches in my throat and escapes in a vocal whoosh. Jasper is… stunning. I stare at him a while, taking in the hundred shades of blonde in his hair, from whitish to golden to almost brown. His eyes are amber and gold with shades of straw and saffron. His skin isn't too pale, an almost ghostly white, but a blend of creams, ivory and beige all of this is offset by the silvery white crescent scars crisscrossing his neck and littering his arms. He stands perfectly still as I examine him, he's in a white tee shirt and black slacks with bare feet and I am surprised to see one of the scars on his left foot but not curious enough to voice the question, or too distracted to focus on just one I wanted to ask.

I move my gaze from him around the room, everything is like I remember it, but like Jasper, it's also more. Every color is not one color but many variations of color blending together, every fabric, every material is an intricate detail and I can even see a stitch on his tee shirt that has been missed and I know its so tightly woven, so small that I shouldn't be able to see it.

"It smells… cold." I whisper.

"Snow." He explains.

I nod and am at the window without thinking about it, "Alice and Peter?"

"She saw you waking up, Peter and I found it was better for new borns if only one were there in the start and with my gift we thought it should be me. Peter has scars too and Ali's never been around a new born, we weren't sure how you'd be."

"I'm…." I tilt my head in thought, "Amazed." I touch the dew on the glass of the window.

"So am I darlin." His words are whispered, not meant for me to really hear.

I turn to frown at him, "Jasper?"

"You're very calm, even with my appearance, not a trace of fear or anger, confusion or well anything expected."

"I'd never be afraid of you Jasper and you're… beautiful." I couldn't think of a word big enough to describe him, Jasper was… stunning.

"How are you feeling?"

I laugh and the sound shocks me, it's musical and soft but also rich and full, "Shouldn't you know?"

He nods once and I see a smile pulling at his mouth though he's refusing to let it spread, "Tell me anyways."

"I feel… I feel… wonderful." I sigh and then frown, "It was so bad Jasper." I whisper, "So bad and it wouldn't stop, it was so painful, so awful and it just wouldn't end." He nods and I feel the prickling of tears again, not tears I remind myself, venom. "I wanted to die." I admit. He just nods again and his expression is regretful. I'm lost in my own thoughts as I frown again, "It feels like so long ago now though, I remember it so clearly, the agony of each torturous second is there but it feels… far away. I feel, my body feels wonderful, strong, rested, I feel… perfect."

"You are perfect darlin, and its normal for the burnin to feel far away, you always remember it but it's another life, it's over."

I nod and turn to look back out the window, "Will Alice and Peter come back now?

"Not yet darlin, first we need to take care of the thirst, it helps to calm the instincts, you might be remarkably coherent but its better we still take a couple precautions."

Even as he says it my attention goes to the dry and scratchy feeling in my throat. "Thirst?" I frown and raise a hand to my throat, the scratchy and dry feeling is getting worse and it burns a little when I swallow.

Jasper nods and gives me a half smile, motioning to the balcony, "Shall we?"

"We're on the second floor." I remind him.

Jasper chuckles and laughs, "You aren't human no more darlin, first floor tenth floor, it don't much matter now."

I blush again, or rather move my eyes away from him and lift a hand to my cool unflushed cheek as the telltale sign doesn't appear.

As I land, perfectly in the snow I realize for the first time, what in the back of my mind I had already noted and discarded, my little feet were pale and bare. I was in leggings and a large shirt and as soon as I touched the plain black cotton, I knew it was one of Peter's.

Jasper gave me a moment, before sending me a wave of impatience and excitement. I looked up at him and he smirked taking off in a run. I chased after him and started to pass him, laughing as my feet ghosted over the snow and ice.

I turned laughing and dancing around as snow began to fall in giant crystalline flakes, Jasper just laughed and took my hand to spin me again, "You look like the Pixie every first snow of the season, like I imagine a child playing outside in it the very first time." He tells me when I stop twirling and grin at him. This makes me laugh more but his expression changes again, more serious now. "Listen, taste the air and focus."

I follow his advice and I can here the rhythmic pumping of a heartbeat, slow and steady, I can taste something musky and rich on the air, a scent of something wild. Before I've followed the thought through I'm running in the direction of my meal.

The blood is rich and warm, filling and soothing the burn in my throat. Jasper is fun and lets me be distracted as we roam the wild Canadian North. I examine the ground under some snow, leaves on bushes and bark on trees, he laughs but says nothing when I lick the snow falling out of the sky. I examine my own pale skin and the ends of my hair so he leads me to a frozen lake where I sparkle ever so slightly like the snow back at myself. How did people not notice the way we shimmered? It wasn't sunny now but my skin… glowed, why hadn't I noticed before? It was as if my eyes had not seen before I opened them to this life.

Alice is waiting when we get back to the house and I grin at her, before the thought registers I'm bolting across the rest of the distance to hug her the way I had Jasper. We're laughing and hugging and bouncing, our excitement made stronger by Jasper's amusement projected out around him.

Alice helps me discover the new world inside and I stroke the surface of every new texture, delicate like its all crystal. If I move to fast or don't think, I crush it all like it is the finest crystal but I try to be mindful and Alice hands me things and tells me to test my grip.

Time moves around us while I adjust to the sights, sounds and scents around me. Light fades and builds and fades around us, I feed again and I watch them hunt, each moment teaching me something new about the world and this new life.

"Where is Peter?" I ask as I watch the sun rising over the barren land and my skin begin to shine brighter, dancing and refracting rainbows like the snow.

"He went hunting in the cities further south." Alice answers coming to stand and sparkle with me. She's so beautiful it almost hurts to look at her sometimes.

"When is he coming home?" I ask her, then frown as a painful thought just occurred, "He is coming home?"

"Peter's waitin impatient for us to call him." Jasper assures me joining us but standing back in the shadows. He likes to be near Ali and I while I explore but keeps a bit of distance, standing back to watch us and absorb our emotions, projecting his amusement and love but mostly just, enjoying our happiness.

"Why?" I smile at my thoughts of him, my mind running along both tracks at the same time.

"You aren't like normal new borns." He shrugs, "Its like, well for us we really were new borns, opening our eyes to a strange new bright, hard world that we don't understand. You, you're more like someone locked away in a dungeon your whole life, stepping out in the sun, seeing the world for the first time, having known what the world was but not knowing. I think it's why you're calmer, you knew what was happening to you during the change so it was less of a… shock."

"So he's staying away because I'm different?"

"No." He shakes his head and projects affection to me, "He left because we wanted to give you as much time as you needed to adjust to what you are without overwhelming you. Vampires don't tend to be very social when they wake up, its more of a fight, feed and flee range of emotions. Alice saw you and came back but Peter chose to give you more space and wait until you decided you were ready for him to come back."

"Can he come back home now then?"

"I'll call him now and tell him you're waitin." Jasper nodded.

I grin at him and he laughs at the happiness and excitement that flows through me. Emotions are so strong as a vampire, I feel everything, even small things, with my whole being. It was no wonder Alice vibrated with happiness and was so excited about things, it was a wonder her tiny frame could hold any of these feelings inside at all.

It took Peter half a day to get to us from wherever he had been and like it had been with Jasper and Alice, it was like I was seeing him for the first time. His hair was shaggy almost to his shoulders but straight unlike Jasper's waves, but like Jazz it was every shade of blonde imaginable with strands gold, amber, honey, saffron and cream. His eyes don't match, they are brilliant reds that match mine, blood red, crimson, garnet and ruby. His skin is like Jasper and Alice and mine, creams and ivory and beige, littered with the silvery white scars that decorate Jasper's skin. I run a finger over one and smile at him, amazed that he's here and so damn sexy and mine. That is a very prominent feeling in my body, he's mine and I remember the hard planes of his form but I want to explore them now, now that I can really see and appreciate his perfection. Unlike Jasper he has a bit of rough scruff on his face, the permanent five o'clock shadow of golden stubble in slightly darker shades than his beautiful hair. His lips are a perfect bow, the lower faintly fuller and I want to nibble on it. I want to feel his large hands against my skin and tremble as I remember how it felt, imagining how much better it would feel now.

"Keep lookin at me like that darlin and this introduction'll be very thorough." He tells me, his voice low and rich and warm.

I swallow at the promise in them, or maybe it's a warning, I don't know and I don't care, all I can focus on his how much I want him, because he's "mine", all mine and no one else can ever have him.

He chuckles and I realize I've spoken outloud. The faint feeling like I should be blushing is there but it's a passing thought like so many other trails of thoughts always in my head, now all I care about, all I think about is Peter.

Vaguely I register Alice and Jasper leaving, he's chuckling and shaking his head and she's giggling. A wave of lust is coming from them but it barely affects me, its meant for them and my own lust is raging and my focus is still pinpointing on Peter and his every minute expression and movement.

Peter takes his time and part of me registers surprise by this. There is an animalistic lust burning inside of me but it's somehow, subdued, pushed behind a wall, like the little trails of thought always running through different parts of my brain.

He moves towards me and I stand perfectly still, watching him, his hips swing and he's watching me carefully, a smirk of lust and want and something more burning in his eyes. Each movement is slow and deliberate and I realize he's stalking me. I shiver in anticipation.

I shiver again as he stops, mere inches separating us and my senses are enveloped with his scent, every nerve ending of my body is tingling and and crying mine, mine, mine. I want to touch him, I want to trail my fingers over his cheekbones and kiss the scar on his jaw, trace the ones on his neck with my tongue, I want to rip the clothes hiding his body from me, I want to attack him at sate the low hot burning need building in my gut and spreading through my body, its hotter than the change but it's a different heat, a liquid pleasure, my body twitches with the need to touch him but I remain still, watching him, the animalistic force growling behind the wall in my head is practically rabid with the desire to have him, mine, mine, mine, it chants.

His hand raises and I can feel the caress even before the skin of his finger tips meets my cheek.

"So beautiful." He whispers.

I say nothing, as large as my mind is the only thought in it is, mine. Everything else is feeling, tingling, heat and desire. He's gentle and slow as he pulls my shirt, another of his, over my head. He explores my body like I explored the world, as though seeing it for the first time. He touches me like I touched everything I saw those first few days, as though it were the finest glass and my skin goosebumps and shivers. Finally, finally he pulls back and takes off his own shirt, he runs a hand down my arm and lifts my hand bringing it to his skin. He has almost as many scars crisscrossing his neck and torso as Jasper does, each faint silvery white crescent mapping out the web of his history. I trace each one, exploring him, there is still the part of me behind a wall in my head panting with an edge of possessive violence urging me to take and claim but the rest of my mind is consumed with fascination of each curve and dip on his body, the way his stomach muscles quiver as my fingers trail over different spots. I explore him as carefully and thoroughly as I explored my new world, until I've memorized all his imperfect perfection, I can close my eyes and map out his body down to the faintest scar, half buried under other scars and the tiny freckle, only one, on his hipbone.