Shout-outs: Guest, Guest, Marcia Santos, and Jane Doe51 for leaving feedback the last chapter.

Author's Note: Excuse of the week, I had a lot going on this week. I'm in the process of changing churches, and I had to get ready for my aunt's visit this week.

Disclaimer: I own nothing, if I did who knows what the show would look like.

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Chapter 10

Patrick Jane

"I felt every ounce of me screaming out, but the sound was trapped deep in me." Signal Fire, Snow Patrol_

He should have been going crazy. Not only had his brother tried to sexually assault his partner, but he was working for the man who had made his life an absolute hell. But much to his surprise, he was the picture of calm.

He exhaled deeply and asked with trepidation, "Did you kill them, Kane? Did you kill Angela and Charlotte?"

Kane shook his head. "No. No, I didn't kill them."

Jane was still a mask of calm, his body didn't even trembling as he continued interrogating his brother. "Well, do you know who killed them?"

Kane nodded once. "You do too."

Jane's whole body grew numb when he heard this. "I do? Who is it?"

"He was the man that you shot in the shopping mall a few years ago. Timothy Carter was the man who murdered Angie and Charlie," Kane replied, like he was ordering the soup and salad for lunch and not telling him news that could potentially alter his life forever.

"Timothy Carter was the man who murdered Angie and Charlie?" Jane repeated.

Kane nodded. "Yes. How else do you think he knew those things he told you?"

"I always assumed that Red John had told him what to say. . ." he trailed off and shook his head. He felt like he'd been knocked over by a tidal wave and no matter how hard that he tried, he would never be able to surface again.

"You never suspected for a moment that you had really killed the man who was responsible for the deaths of your family?" Kane asked, a little more than surprised by his brother's shock.

"No," Jane answered. "I never thought he was anything more than a loyal scrape goat. . ."

Kane laughed. "Unless it's a very special situation, Red John almost always has somebody else do his dirty work for him. Don't look so stunned, brother. You didn't actually think that you were significant enough for him to get blood on his own hands, did you?"

"I—" Jane faltered and shook his head. "I always knew that he had a large network of loyal followers that were willing to die for him, but I never thought that it was this big. To take the fall for a man who wouldn't return the favor, just seems inconceivable to me."

"You're no better than him," Kane taunted. "Look at Agent Lisbon; she's always taking the fall for you. And what do you do for her? Nothing at all, you're too selfish to even tell her that you love her."

"I'm not anything like him. I would gladly take a bullet for Lisbon or for you if I had to. I'd take one for each and every one of my team members. And I would take one for Lorelei too, because she's carrying my family. I'd like to see Red John do half as much for you."

"You don't understand—"

"No, I don't. And I don't think I want to," Jane interjected, turning away from him. "I have to go; I can't even talk to you right now."

"What are you going to do?" Kane asked. "Are you going to call the police or run and tattle on me to Lisbon?"

Jane didn't even dignify his question with a response; he just wrenched the hotel door and left without looking back.

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He drove to San Francisco like he was on autopilot. He needed to get to Lisbon before the insanity finally managed to take over him. She would help him sort everything out just like she always did. She would be his voice of reason, just like she always was.

When he finally reached Tommy's house, he sat in the driveway for a few minutes and tried to compose his thoughts before he saw Lisbon. But it was no use, his mind was racing a million miles a minute and there wasn't any use of slowing it down. He knew it wouldn't matter to her what state he was in; she was used to him being a mess.

So, he turned the car off and made the short walk to the front door.

He raised his hand heavily and knocked.

Once.

Twice.

Three times.

It seemed like an eternity before she finally answered the door.

And when she finally did, he couldn't find the words to speak, to answer her unspoken question of what he was doing there. It took him a moment or two, and then he collapsed into her arms and fell apart.

He didn't know how long they stood in her doorway before she finally pulled him inside and led him to the room she was staying in. She sat him down and pulled his shoes off. Then she helped him out of his jacket and vest.

"Lie down," she whispered as she got into bed and tugged him down next to her. "Let me hold you until everything's better again."

He complied, wanting nothing more in that moment than her to do just that. When he was settled next to her, she turned and put her arms around him. He reciprocated the gesture, wrapping his arms around her waist and burying his face in her neck.

"Do you want to talk about it?" She asked, gently stroking his hair.

"Maybe later," he answered, closing his eyes and releasing a deep breath.

"Later," Lisbon agreed, pressing a tender kiss to the side of his head and holding him a little bit closer.

He closed his eyes and drew from her quiet strength.

A few hours later, he was startled awake by the slamming of a door and Annie's voice calling for her aunt. Minutes later, the teenage girl burst into the guest room without knocking first.

"Ooops," she said, giggling slightly at the sight of her aunt and Jane in bed together. "I'm sorry, I didn't know."

"It's fine," Lisbon mumbled as she untangled herself from Jane's arms and brushed her hair out of her face. "Did you just get back from school?"

"Yup," Annie replied, smiling at Jane as she perched at the end of the bed. "So, how long have you been here?"

Jane swallowed and rubbed the sleep out of his eyes as he sat up. "Almost all afternoon, I guess."

"Nothing happened," Lisbon told her niece quickly.

"Yeah," Annie said dryly as she looked at them, both still completely clothed. "I believe you. Anyways, I have to go and do homework. I hope you're going to stay for dinner, Patrick."

Jane shrugged. "Maybe."

"I won't take no for an answer!" Annie told him. "We're ordering Chinese tonight, I'm sure that there'll will be enough for everybody."

Jane looked at Lisbon, who had crawled out of bed and was pulling her hair up into a ponytail, she nodded. "I'm sure that Tommy won't mind if you stay."

"I guess I'll stay then," Jane answered after a moment, mostly because he had no idea what he would do in Sacramento.

"I'll go tell dad that we're having an extra person for dinner!"

"So, do you want to talk about it now?" Lisbon asked after Annie had left the room.

Jane helped her straighten out the pillows and pull the covers up. "What makes you something bad happened?"

"Intuition," Lisbon replied. "You wouldn't have come to me unless something was really wrong. What happened when you went and saw Kane today?"

Jane shook his head. "I'm still having trouble believing it myself. I'm afraid that if I say it aloud, I'm going to have to start believing it."

She sat down on the bed and patted the seat beside her. "Come, talk to me. We both know you want to."

After a moment, Jane sat down beside her and let her take his hand. "Kane and Lorelei are working with Red John," he said, not beating around the bush.

"Kane's working for Red John?" Lisbon repeated, frowning slightly. "Did he—"

"No, no. . . it turns out that I did shoot the man who killed my wife and daughter. Lisbon, I'm so confused right now. Everything I thought that I knew is suddenly wrong. Not only is Kane working for Red John, but he hates me too. And I should be having a break down right now or planning to do something crazy, and I'm not. I'm here having a reasonably calm conversation with you."

"I'm glad," Lisbon answered, tightening her grip on his hand. "Have you thought about what you're going to do? Do you want to turn Kane and Lorelei into the police?"

"I don't know," Jane answered. "You know what happens every single time that we arrest one of Red John's disciples. They all wind up dying or killing themselves. And I honestly don't think I could live with knowing that I could have prevented three people from dying."

"So that's it then? We just let them go and give them the chance to continue killing people? We give them the chance to keep enabling a mad man and his disciples?"

"I don't like it anymore than you do Lisbon. But he's my brother and she's carrying my niece or nephew. You don't betray family or feed them to the wolves."

"But he betrayed you," Lisbon said almost angrily. "He fed you to the wolves, and he didn't even care! I'm just concerned as you are about the baby that Lorelei's carrying, but I couldn't care less what happened to her. I just want this all to be over."

"Even if they do survive our arrest, who's to say that they'll answer any of our questions?" Jane asked. "You know as well as I do that they would rather die than betray their master. That's why they all kill themselves."

"If they were any of his other disciples, you'd be falling all over yourself to get them into an interrogation room!" Lisbon answered.

"What if we found out that your brothers were working for Red John?" Jane asked, rubbing circles into her knuckles. "Would you want to arrest them?"

Lisbon faltered for a second and then she shook her head. "Probably not, but I might always wonder if it were a missed opportunity to catch Red John. And I don't know if I could do that to you, if I had the power to end your suffering that's exactly what I would want to do."

Jane shook his head. "I wouldn't want you to do it. I couldn't bear it if later on, every time that you looked at me all you could see is a man who was responsible for your brother's death or jail sentence. I don't want you to end up resenting me. I don't want to lose what we have."

Lisbon smiled and patted his knee with her free hand. "Well, at least we don't have to think about something like that happening. Come on let's go and get the table set for dinner. We'll talk more about what to do later."

"Sure," Jane agreed as he stood up with her, reluctant to pull away from her touch. "Thanks for everything this afternoon. Without you, I'm sure that I would have fallen apart."

Lisbon smiled up at him and squeezed his hand. "I'm glad I could help," she answered.

After the last of the Chinese food had been consumed and Jane had helped the Lisbon family clean up after dinner, he decided that it was time to get back to Sacramento. He still didn't have a clue to what he was going to do about his brother. But he was decidedly clearer of head than he had been eight hours earlier, so he was certain that he wouldn't do anything terribly rash without Lisbon's supervision.

"You'll be okay without me?" Lisbon asked as she walked him out to his car.

"If I'm not, I'll know exactly where to find you," Jane answered, turning to look at her. "Promise me that you'll stay safe. I'm worried for you, now more than ever."

"I promise that I'll try," Lisbon replied. "But I don't think anything will happen, Kane is probably too scared to do anything to me now."

"I'll feel better knowing that you're taking precautions. We're so close to catching him, I can feel it. But I don't want anything to happen to you in the process."

"If it'll make you feel any better, I'll sleep with a gun under my pillow instead of the nightstand," Lisbon teased.

Jane laughed inspite of himself and pulled her into a hug. "Sounds good to me, you can never be too careful," he replied.

"Words to live by," she replied, smiling at him. "Promise me that you'll be safe to, that you won't do anything stupid like kidnap Kane and force him to bring you to Red John."

"Like I'd do that," Jane said as he let her go.

"I never underestimate you," Lisbon answered, letting her arms fall to her sides.

Jane grinned. "Good for you, Lisbon. You're learning."

"Go on," she whispered. "Before it starts to get late. . ."

Before you beg me to stay, Jane thought to himself as he resisted putting his arms around her again. He knew if he did, he probably wouldn't be going anywhere that night.

He knew if he touched her again, he would follow her back into the house and spend the night in her embrace where it was safe.

"I'll see you later," he said, getting into his car.

"See you later," Lisbon echoed, wrapping her arms around her waist feeling an acute sense of déjà vu when he drove away.

TBC. . .

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Author's Note II:

I am viewing this as another pivotal chapter, except it's for the Jane & Lisbon relationship. Please leave some feedback, I'd really love to hear what you thought about this chapter. Meanwhile, there's a possible 4 more chapters to go in this story. Hope you'll stay tuned for more!

Love,

Holly, 6/5/2013_