I open my eyes and stretch my arms, me and Christian talked for hours last night, not about the accident, or you know who, but about memories and our kids and what were going to do after this is over. We did touch on the subject in regards to the house and I made it clear to Christian I never want to go anywhere near our bedroom's balcony again as long as live. My understanding fifty even suggested we could move, rebuild our house from scratch elsewhere, but that's too much, its such a beautiful house that Christian, Elliot and so many more people spent hours grafting to make it perfect for me.
I get up off one of the sofas, which Christian had insisted I sleep on, and told me it was not negotiable. When Grace was organizing this room she made sure there were also some clean clothes and toiletries for me, which I'm desperately in need of, I'm actually too scared to look in a mirror right now, as I can only imagine how awful I look. Now Christian's been moved into this private room there is an attached shower and toilet so I decide to have a quick shower. I walk over to my husband and he's fast asleep his dark eyelashes fanning his cheeks, he must be exhausted.
I walk through the door to the left of his bed and into the small bathroom. As the water cascades down my body, I start to think about everything. Someone has been following us, stalking us even, and I cant stand the fact that they could know so much about our life. What were they doing? Trying to establish a daily routine? Waiting for the perfect moment to strike? Or just being plain down right creepy? I feel the tears fall down my cheeks as everything hits me like a brick wall and I slide down the shower wall to the floor, the water still falling over me. I thank god that Christian's okay.
I look down at my arms and remember that only three days ago they were covered in his blood. The love of my life's blood. I start to claw at my arms and sob, I want it gone, I want the memory gone. I want this never to have happened and I want Christian to be well again. I think the colour has finally start to return to his cheeks, but I'm not naïve and I know he wont be leaving the hospital for at least a week, probably longer, and I intend to stay with him till he does. I close my eyes and put my hands over them, trying to control my sobbing and listen to the sound of the water hitting the bottom of the shower. My thoughts are interrupted and I think I hear something so I stand up and temporally turn off the shower.
"Ana? Ana?," I hear Christian question as loud as he can force his voice to go.
"I'll be a minute baby," I call back and he doesn't respond. I climb out of the shower and quickly dry myself, briefly rubbing the towel through my hair as I quickly exit the bathroom. Christian turns his head to look at me the moment I emerge and I see the sad look on his face.
"Ana, why were you crying? " he asks, oh god I didn't realize he would beable to hear me over the sound of the shower.
"It's nothing baby, I'm fine," I reply and smile the best I can to reassure him.
"I could hear you sobbing, oh god, what have you done to your arms?" he asks panic stricken, his eyes wide. I look down, Shit. I didn't realize I'd left marks. My arms are streaked in red lines and some small scratches from my nails after my mini episode in the bathroom. Great, Christian is gonna think I'm having some kind of breakdown from all the stress. I can tell they wont mark, they'll be gone in ten minutes it's just because I rushed out of the shower after I heard my husbands voice.
"I was just…," and I feel the tears force there selves down my cheeks despite my battle to keep them at bay. Do I tell him the truth or lie.
"Ana, you can tell me anything," he whispers and he looks terrified and I hate that I'm scaring him, adding unnecessarily stress to his already loaded plate.
I walk over to the bed and perch on the side of it, taking his hand and he uses his other hand to wipe away some of my tears, my hair still dripping wet down my back, making me shiver.
"It was just, the blood, I could see it, I wanted it gone," I say as my lip quivers and I can see his eyes tear up.
"Oh Ana. What have they done to us, I wont rest till the person responsible for us this is made to pay," he states and for a second I see the hatred in his eyes.
I hear the door go behind me, and I quick blink back tears and wipe my eyes, before turning around to see the nurse carrying a vase of roses.
I think she senses the emotion and intensity within the room and doesn't stay long. "I've just come to check on you quickly, and to give you these beautiful flowers that were delivered." She puts the flowers on the side and goes to check on Christian. She checks on the chest tube and asks him about his breathing, making him take deep breaths and encouraging him to cough. She also changes the dressing over the bullet wound and I turn away, I don't want to be reminded of that. All the time I can see the frustration evident in his eyes, and I imagine he wants to yell at her to leave him alone and stop touching him. Although he's perfectly fine with me touching his chest, or his children, and to an extent his family, I can see him flinch slightly when her hand connects with his skin. We make eye contact and I silently encourage him to hold his tongue and stay calm, it isn't the nurses fault that this happened and I'm sure she doesn't need a patient screaming at her first thing in the morning.
"Everything looks good Mr Grey, we will take you for an X-ray later and then we can think about taking that out," she points to the tube in his chest and he just nods. I thank her and then she leaves the room.
"I hate them touching me," he states bitterly as soon as she leaves the room.
"I know, but it wont be for much longer, you heard her your getting there," I smile, standing up to reach over to pick up the flowers on the side.
"There so beautiful," I state smelling them, but Christian doesn't look impressed.
"Probably from some kiss ass client who wants to do a deal with me," Christian criticizes.
I pick out the envelope admist the flowers that is attached to a wooden stick and look at it. It just says the Grey's on the front so I start to open it. As I scan the small piece of paper I feel my heart rate spike.
I missed once, but I never miss twice
X
The vase smashes to the ground shattering into thousands of piece's as I stand frozen.
"Ana, what the hell? What does it say," Christian asks desperately. "ANA!," he cries and I snap out of it. I hand him the piece of paper and I see the anger appear in his eyes.
"This is fucking ridiculous," he croaks, as two nurses rush through the door to see what's happened.
"I'm sorry, I dropped it," I tremble and they start rushing around to clear it up.
"Ana, baby come here," Christian says softly and I walk over to him in a daze feeling the glass crush underneath my pumps. He shuffles the best he can to the right, and pats the small space at the side of him. I know I shouldn't be doing this, but I want to feel close to him so I climb on the bed my feet hanging over the side.
"Mrs Grey you really shouldn't…" the nurse begins.
"If you want to keep your job I suggest you shut your mouth," Christian says venomously and If I wasn't so numb I would feel sorry for the nurse who is only trying to follow policy. "Leave the fucking glass," he mutters and they stop what there doing and leave the room. "If you want to make yourselves useful, can you tell a Jason Taylor to get his ass up here now," Christian asks rudely and I would admonish him if I wasn't so upset.
He's angry he's really angry I can almost feel is radiating off him and I worry about his blood pressure.
"Why can't they just leave us alone, Christian? Why are they trying to take you away from me," I cry as I lean my head into his neck.
"Ana, I promise I wont leave you, this fucker doesn't realize he is messing with the wrong man," his tone goes from soft to furious and I feel him wince as he attempts to put his arm around me.
"No, it's okay, you'll hurt yourself," I look up and into his eyes and he nods as I put my head back down and cry into his neck.
"What if he's watching us, oh my god what about the children, I cant lose you I just cant," I say completely hysterical.
Taylor comes rushing through the door and steps back when he notices the mess of glass and roses on the floor.
"Taylor we have a fucking problem," Christian screeches and I keep my face buried into his neck. Taylor must move across the glass because I hear it crunching beneath his shoes and I feel Christian hand the note over to him.
"It's okay Ana, nothing's going to happen to us," he whispers in my ear and I just hope he is right.
I hear Taylor take a deep breath before muttering, "bastard."
"Have you found anything?", Christian asks stroking his thumb over my hand reassuringly.
"We think we have a name sir Malcolm Bernini, we gave our number's to some locals at the bar and asked them to call us if they heard or had anymore information and lone behold one of them actually called this morning. Said they'd spoken to someone and as far as they know that is the bastards name." I feel a little bit of relief rush through me, they have a name, that means there getting closer to find him. Maybe we will be safe after all.
"Welch is running the background checks as we speak, I can come and update you as soon as we know anything else Mr Grey." Taylor continues rapidly.
"Good, cause if that piece of shit hurts my family again, I wont be held responsible for my actions," Christian growls. "Find out how the hell those flowers got past security, and make sure it doesn't happen again. Ana doesn't need this!" He states angrily.
"Yes sir, I'll head up and collect the security tapes, and find out who the hell brought them in and call the florist and find out who bought them," Taylor reels off and I can practically hear the cogs turning in his head as he thinks of all the possible avenues he could track this man down.
"Oh and Taylor find out which nurse brought those in hear, I want her fired, there could have been anything in them," he snarls and I look up.
"No, Taylor, don't do that, it's not her fault, I bet there is hundreds of flowers brought into the hospital on a daily basis. She wasn't to know," I look at Christian and he begrudgingly nods.
"Right I best get back to work, Gail will be here with the kids in a couple of hours" he reminds us and Christian tells him to get someone to come and clean the mess up before they get here He nods in acknowledgement and leaves the room.
"I'm so scared Christian," I whisper and he nods knowingly.
"Me too, don't worry Ana, they will find him," he whispers, I can tell by the tone of his voice that he's brooding, and I know he's feeling sorry for his self.
"I hate this, I hate that I'm stuck here like a worthless fool, and I cant do anything to help! I've a good mind to just rip this shit out," he hold's his hand up to his face and I can see him looking at the IV inserted into his hand with disgust.
"Christian Grey, don't you dare call yourself worthless and don't you dare think about trying to leave," I mutter through the tears that have just about stopped falling and run my hand down his cheek. "Your many things but worthless is not and has never been one of them," I add, my husband can be so stubborn and stupid at times.
It's about two hours later and I'm still sat in the same position besides Christian. The nurse who had previously tried to clean up the glass returned to complete the job, but didn't speak and smiled nervously as she left. I swear you could cut the tension with a knife.
"Your so beautiful wife," Christian muses, "what did I ever do to deserve you."
"Everything" I reply and a second later the doors burst open and I see Teddy and his little legs race towards us.
"Daddy!" he yells and I see Christians face light up brighter than ever and a second later I see Gail hurriedly enter the room with Phoebe asleep in her arms.
I reach down and pull Teddy up and he tries to go straight to his Dad, but I stop him. Teddy has his favourite cuddly bear clutched in his hand.
"Teddy, Daddy's not feeling very well, so we have to be very careful, we can't jump on him or move about, we have to sit still and be very nice to him. Okay?" Teddy's eyes fill up and he reaches for Christian and nods slightly. "I'm going to put you in between us, but you have no promise not to climb on top of Daddy okay," and he nods again slightly and I think in his head he's probably thinking shutup you silly women.
"It's okay Ana," Christian says and I gently let Teddy go and he puts his little arms around his dad's side.
"I luffff you Daddy," Teddy says straight away and he puts his arms out and wants Christian to pick him up which breaks my heart.
"I cant right now baby, but I can hold your hand okay really tight okay," Christian says and I can see him tearing up. Teddy grips onto Christians hand tightly and nuzzles into his side.
"Me bring Jake for you, help you sleep," Teddy says handing his favourite teddy bear to Christian.
"That's so thoughtful of you baby," he beams, blinking excessively to try and remove the tears that are threatening to fall. I know how much this must mean to Christian, as Teddy never goes anywhere without Jake the bear, and hates anyone to have it other than him, so for him to give it to Christian is really something. When Teddy has decided to name his bear Christian had patiently sat with him reeling off as many names as he could think of, and I honestly thought he would never settle on one. But they had eventually found common ground in Jake.
"It was all his idea to bring Jake for you Mr Grey," Gail smiles and quickly hands me my sleeping daughter, motioning that she'll be back in a little while, I think she feels like she's intruding, even though she isn't at all.
"Hello my beautiful baby girl," I whisper to my sleeping Phoebe and I see Christian glance over at her and smile.
Christian angles his head so he can kiss Teddy's head. "I love you so much Teddy," he whispers and Teddy looks up.
"Why Daddy sad?," he asks and I smile as I feel a tear drip down my cheek.
"I'm not sad Teddy, I'm just happy to see you," Christian explains to him and Teddy holds onto him tighter.
"Me miss you so much, No one to play cars with me like you," Ted says sadly and I can tell Christian is trying so hard to keep it together.
"I miss you lots too, but I'll be home soon, I promise," he explains. I cant wait for everything to go back to normal.
"What this for?" he point's to one of the wires clueless.
"To help daddy get better, like I said before, he's feeling a bit poorly at the minute," I jump in softly, but I don't know if he understands.
"I don't want daddy to be pworlyyyy," he says and starts crying loudly into Christians side.
"Hey Ted," Christian says trying to get his attention and change the subject. "Have you had a nice time with Gail?"
He begins to nod but then strategically changes his mind and shakes his head. "No I wantt youuuuuuu," he starts wailing and I feel Phoebe stir. She stretches her little arms and her eyes flutter open. When she realizes its me she tries to sit up. "Momma, Ma, Ma," she cries and when she notices her fathers presence she attempts to fly out of my arms. "Da Daaa Dadda noww," she wriggles and starts screaming when I don't let her go.
"I know baby, I wish I could hold you princess," Christian says and reaches for her little hand. I hold her just close enough to his face so she can grip round his neck, but so I'm still supporting her weight.
"Phoebe, why don't you give daddy a magic kiss," I whisper, and she pouts through her tears and tries to kiss him on the cheek. Christian laughs softly and I see a single tear roll from the corner of his eye.
"I feel so much better now," Christian says and kisses Phoebe of her cheeks making her giggle a little.
"Daddy?" Teddy questions and I lift Phoebe away a second but so she can still clearly see her father.
"Yes Ted?" he questions softly looking down.
"Can I stay here wid you, till you better? He questions expectantly and I feel my lip quiver, bless his little heart.
"I don't think so buddy, but you can come see me everyday I promise," Christian replies and I see my son's face fall.
"But I wanta be with youuu," he pleads.
"I know you do, I want to be with you too, but it's your special job to take care of your sister while Mommy and Daddy are away, can you do that?," Christian says sweetly and I think Teddy buys it.
He nod's sadly and tucks his head into Christians side again.
"Can I have new toy if I'm good boy?" Teddy asks Christian and he grins.
"You can have whatever you want Ted," Christian replies grinning and I know he means it, he cant deny his kids anything.
"Now I know why he brought me his teddy bear Ana, he wanted to butter me up , so he could have new toys," Christian turns to me and whispers and I cant help but laugh.
"You know that's not true Mr Grey," I whisper and Teddy looks up at us confused.
Phoebes is wriggling about so I sit her in between me and Christian and next to Teddy. How we have managed to get all four of us in this tiny bed I don't know.
"Christian are you okay? It's not to cramped for you is it? I can move?," I ask and I cant help but worry about him. Some of the nurses would probably have a fit if they saw this performance.
"It's perfect, my favourite people in the world," he replies and I lean my head over the kids and onto his shoulder.
I think Phoebe is still tired because I can see her eyes fluttering as she has moved so she is laying on her back.
"Mommy, Daddy, this is my bestest day ever!" Teddy exclaims and we look at each other and smile.
"Why's that Ted?" I ask him curious
"Cause me loveeee you," he squeels and then hides his face back into Christians side.
"We love you too baby boy," I say and Christian smiles.
"We have the best children in the world Ana, thank you," my husband breathes and I want nothing else than to wrap my arms around him and cuddle him but I know I cant.
"It takes two to tango Mr Grey, you played your part well too," I wink and he laughs. Teddy climbs onto my lap and holds his hands out towards Christian.
"You kiss Jake Nan night Daddy?" he asks and Christian nods, Teddy always kisses his teddy bear goodnight before he goes to sleep.
"Of course I will buddy," Christian says.
"I'm sleepy." Teddy announces and makes to jump off my lap, for a split second I think he's going to stand on Phoebe's head but he doesn't and he fits back snuggly into his spot next to Christian who reaches across and puts his arm gently around his son.
"Night baby," I say and he sleepily shuts his little eyes.
I know Gail will be back soon, to take them away, which makes me feel sad, I want them to stay but I know they cant.
Christian must be reading my mind because of what he says next, "You know Ana, you and the kids, are like my lifeline, I'd probably be dead by now if it wasn't for you, I would of ended up doing something completely reckless and getting myself killed. I really don't want them to go," he says softly gently putting his hand through Teddy's hair.
"Me neither," I say and I feel the tears coming again.
"No more crying Mrs Grey, everything will be okay again soon. I was thinking me, you and the kids can go away for a while, somewhere nice when this is over, while we have some work done on the house," I smile and I know he's eluding to some remodeling of our bedroom and the new horrible memories it holds.
"That sounds perfect," I smile kissing his briefly on the lips, "Thankyou."
"Anything for you Mrs Grey," he smiles.
Gail comes back shortly after and asks Christian how he is. We reluctantly decide its probably time for her to take the children home, as they are both exhausted. I gently lift Phoebe and hand her to Gail, we both kiss her on the head lightly. I gently stroke Teddy's cheek to try and rouse him awake and he stirs.
"Daddy ya still here," he mumbles sleepily, "I luff you."
"I love you too son." I can see how close there going to be over the next few years, at least until Teddy's a teenager and starts to act out. Hopefully not as much as father did in his teenage years I think, but Christian had his reasons.
"Baby its time for Gail to take you home" I whisper and attempt to peel him away from his fathers side.
"Nooooo," he wails. "Me stay here with you mommy, pwleeaseeeeeeeeee," he's screeching as I try to pick him up.
"Teddy you can come back tomorrow and see us again, I promise," I say and Christian looks on sadly, I know he wants them to stay with us.
"Yes Teddy we will come back straight away in the morning," Gail chips in trying to help me out.
"I don't wantt tooo goo," he says and tries to reach for his daddy. Somehow I end up feeling like the bad guy but a hospital is definitely not the place for two young children to be staying. I look at for help but Christian who as devastated as Teddy.
I finally get a hold of him and he clings onto my arms. "Now give Daddy a goodbye kiss," I say as he wails and it breaks my heart but he leans over and kisses Christian on the face.
"And Mommy," Christian chips in and he pecks me on the lips.
"Now are you going to walk nicely and hold Gail's hand like I good boy." I say softly and he nods wiping his little eyes with his sleeve. I gently lift him off the bed and Gail takes hold of his hand. God knows how Phoebe managed to sleep through Teddy's screams our poor little baby must be exhausted
"I still don't wannuuu go," Teddy asserts stubbornly his little lip quivering.
"Teddy just think of all those toys, I'm going to buy you when I'm better," Christian smiles and his cute little face immediately lights up.
"Take care of Jake daddy," Teddy says as they start to walk away. Christian picks up Jake the bear and pretends to make him wave which cheers Teddy up no end.
"See you tomorrow baby," I say as they leave, and as soon as they are out of sight I turn on the waterworks and start to cry.
"It's okay Ana, they'll be back tomorrow," he sighs. This horrible situation is taking its toll on everyone.
Thanks again for all the reviews, i really appreciate it! Hope you like this xxx