A/N: Before I begin, I forgot to give credit to those that helped with translations from last chapter. …Unfortunately it was over a month ago, so I don't remember aside from my friend I know offline. In any case, I just wanted to put it here that credit for all the French goes to them.
The early morning peace was interrupted by a vibration coming from the nightstand nearest to Arthur. It continued to rattle until Arthur's hand slipped out from under the pillow and slapped down on it. His head, also under the pillow, peeked out as he pulled the phone to his ear. He didn't even care to check as to who was calling, and he was too groggy to recognize the custom ringtone.
" 'Ello…?" he grumbled.
"Arthur? Did I wake you?" It was Erica. She sounded chipper, as was the usual case. It almost hurt Arthur's ear. "I'm sorry."
"No, no it's all right." Arthur began to sit up, but a sharp pain surged up his lower back. He stopped and hissed as he buried his head back under the pillow. "What time is it?"
"A little after seven. Your train leaves in a few hours, right?"
Arthur stifled a yawn. "Yes, at ten. It's good that you called. I had forgotten to turn on my alarm."
"Oh." Erica forced a giggle. "That's good. Did you have a good trip?"
Arthur hesitated. Had he had a good trip? It was nice, and the city itself had been pleasant, if the company would've left him alone. Then again, there was the inner turmoil he was having with himself over Alfred mixed with the guilt of being with Erica. That changed everything to feel so very disgusting in his body.
He wanted to tell her the truth, and for a moment, he almost did. He almost told her everything, from the moment he met Alfred, up to their sexual encounter on the sofa, to last night when Arthur had the most realistic wet dream of Alfred he'd ever had. However, considering they were on the phone and he was in France, he didn't feel that would be best. Instead, he decided that he would wait until he reached home. Then, he'd come clean to Erica. He owed her that much.
"It was interesting," was Arthur's reply.
They hung up soon after from a lack of anything more exciting to talk about other than Arthur's arrival time. Arthur rolled onto his stomach in hopes of lessening the pain in his back. It didn't. And now it felt rather slimy between his legs. Worse yet, he felt the sheets on his legs and chest as if there was nothing separating them. Slowly, he peeled back the covers to see just what made him feel so filthy, and froze.
The first thing he noticed was that he was naked. Buck naked. The second was that there was cum on his stomach and between his legs. The final thing was that he suddenly felt violently ill.
Movement beside him made Arthur jump. He pushed the covers back over himself. Then, Francis' head appeared from underneath his own pillow. Arthur stared at him, mouth agape and eyes wide. Francis squinted from the bright light in the early morning. He smiled when he saw Arthur.
"Bonjour."
Arthur snatched his pillow up in his hands and smacked Francis across the face with it. Something any reasonable man would do had they woken up naked, his loins covered in his own cum, next to a sleeping man. Correction, a sleeping Frenchman. Arthur was always such a gentleman, but this morning called for no manners. A man Arthur had met the previous day had possibly slept with him.
Francis nearly fell out of the bed with the force that Arthur struck him with. Arthur clutched the blanket around himself and held the pillow out like a weapon, threatening Francis with it.
"What happened? What're you doing here?" Arthur demanded.
Francis rubbed his head as he sat up. The sheets fell to reveal his glorious physique. Arthur didn't stare at it and wasn't the least bit turned on. He was more revolted at the amount of hair on his chest, even if it was blonde and less visible than dark hair. It wasn't like Arthur didn't have a little bit of chest hair himself. And why had the matter turned to such things in the first place?
"You were very drunk last night," Francis said.
"So you? YOU? YOU FILTHY, ROTTEN FROG! HOW DARE YOU?" Arthur wasted no time in slamming the pillow back down on Francis.
Francis held his arms up to protect himself, yelping out in pain. He blinked until the stars in his eyes vanished. Shaking his head, he glared at Arthur. "You must listen to me, Arthur. I didn't want to, but you begged me."
"I do not beg," Arthur growled.
"Well," Francis shrugged. "You did last night. You begged me to take you because you thought I was someone else. You even called their name."
"Tell me I thought you were Erica! With your long hair and all!"
Francis said nothing. He simply leaned over towards Arthur. Arthur tensed, but Francis held up his hands. He pointed at Arthur's phone. Arthur handed it over, and watched as Francis unlocked the iPhone. He turned it to face Arthur; Alfred's smile beamed back at him. Arthur's breathing increased and he began to cry.
"Oh God... No," Arthur sobbed. "No I can't."
"Can't what? You love him," Francis sighed.
"No... Oh God, I cheated on Erica."
"I would say you cheated on her long ago with your thoughts," Francis mumbled.
"Shut up," Arthur barked. He clasped his hands together. "I have to pray. Beg for forgiveness."
"Who will hear you?"
"He will. God will. I can't be like this." Arthur closed his eyes and started to pray.
Francis wasn't impressed. He sighed, running a hand through his hair. "You mean in love with just one man? You are not in love with all men, just Alfred."
"But I can't be," Arthur whispered into his hands.
Francis turned and reached over. He grabbed a cigarette, lighting it up. He studied Arthur as he said, "Love will always do exactly what it wants to do. Just like God. He brought Alfred into your life for a reason."
"Yes to test me. I have to prove to Him that I am straight." Arthur's voice wobbled as he forced out every word.
"But what does it prove to you? That you can lie to yourself and to everyone? Even God? I think you have to think what there is to prove here."
Arthur acted as if he hadn't heard Francis, but in truth, the words struck his heart. What was he proving? He could blame it all on alcohol or report Francis for sexual harassment, but would that be enough for him? If he were more honest with himself he'd say no, because in the end, he had still done it.
He had still pinned for Alfred enough to miss him on the trip, more than he missed his own girlfriend. He went out and drank to wash away those feelings, which led him to sleeping with Francis in the first place. If he wanted to prove to himself that he wasn't gay then he had to start making the right decisions.
"Oh! There he is!" Erica exclaimed. She pointed at the gate.
Sure enough, Arthur was just emerging from the crowd. His blonde hair bobbed amongst the sea of dark coats and suits. He pulled his suitcase behind him and looked rather frazzled. The ride home hadn't been calming to his nerves.
Erica waved enthusiastically. Upon seeing her, Arthur picked up his pace. He smiled and waved back. Erica ran to meet him half-way. When he reached Erica, Arthur hugged her tightly, lifting her up off of her feet. He even went so far as to kiss her. Erica popped her leg as she clung to Arthur.
Alfred and Elizabeth, having walked after Erica when she rushed to meet Arthur, stopped short. Both said, "Oh!" Alfred averted his face. After a moment, they broke their kiss.
"Wow," Erica said breathlessly. "Welcome back!"
Arthur chuckled. He put Erica back down on the ground. "What can I say? I missed you."
"I guess so…!" She stepped away. Her face was red. She giggled into her hands before hugging Arthur around the arm.
Alfred laughed too, releasing the tension in his shoulders. It was safe now. He moved to hug Arthur. "Welcome back, dude."
Strangely enough, Arthur evaded Alfred's hug. He ducked his head and lifted his arm to rub at the back of his head, effectively pushing Alfred's arm away. He even avoided eye contact. "Yes, it's good to be back."
Elizabeth glanced at Alfred, seeing the hurt and confusion in his eyes from the rejection. Quickly she asked, "Do you fancy some lunch?"
"Actually, I'm rather tired. Long night." Arthur faked a yawn. He gave a weak smile to Elizabeth, ignoring Alfred to her side. "I was going to go home."
"Oh, okay." Erica began to release Arthur's arm. "Then should…"
Arthur stopped her. "No. If it's not too much of a bother, would you mind coming over?"
At this, Erica's eyes lit up. She nodded without saying a word. Elizabeth seemed surprised, but Alfred looked more upset than anything. He hated being so invisible. As Arthur gathered his things, Erica smiled widely at Elizabeth. She returned it with her own knowing grin. Alfred looked between the two with a furrowed brow.
He started to say something when Elizabeth cut him off. "Well, if you two are off, then Al and I will go too."
Elizabeth pulled Alfred backwards as they left. Arthur and Erica headed out together, Erica on his arm. This time when Alfred looked back, Arthur didn't.
Erica thought her heart was going to choke her as they pulled up to Arthur's apartment. She followed him upstairs. Once inside she looked around nervously. It had been quite awhile since she had been back. The last time she had come over was for a movie night. Before that, Alfred and Elizabeth had been there with them for a luncheon. Thinking of Alfred, Erica recalled that Arthur had barely even acknowledged him. She smiled, almost smug.
He missed me more, she thought proudly.
Just then, a small paw batted at Erica's leg. She looked down to find Gentleman. He peered up at her curiously.
"Hello," she said. "Do you remember me?"
Erica put her hand down for the cat to sniff her. After a few whiffs though, he flicked his tail. His eyes narrowed in disdain.
"It looks like he still doesn't like me," Erica said. She straightened and turned to Arthur.
Arthur shrugged to her sad smile. "He just has to warm up to you."
Erica frowned. "He was all over Alfred that time we came over for lunch."
"Alfred just comes over more often." Arthur bit his lip at the too casual a statement. At Erica's glare his face flushed. "W-which means you need to come over!"
Erica looked to the ground. Even though things today had been pleasant, it could be a onetime thing. It was possible Arthur was only doing this as he realized his lack of involvement in their relationship, but it seemed unlikely. Arthur had almost reverted back to his former self ever since they left the train station. He paid little attention to Erica. They hardly talked on their drive home, but he did hold Erica's hand during the ride.
"Arthur… Can we talk?"
Arthur's face fell. He mustered up enough strength to keep his composure. Maybe he was thinking too much of her words, but whenever a girl uttered that phrase, it was almost never good. "Sure…"
Foregoing anything Elizabeth had said about it not being Erica's fault, Erica asked anyways. "Did I do something wrong?"
"Huh?"
Erica blushed. She began twisting her fingers together like a nervous twitch. "I mean… with us. I just…feel like we've grown apart. And I worry that it's my fault. I mean, I try so hard, every day. I wear make-up, I dress up, I style my hair, I even put in the ribbon you said was cute on our first date. I do it all for you, and you never look at me. Really at me. You look past me. Am I not good enough?"
Arthur sighed, choosing not to reply right away for lack of something actually good to say. He should've known this was coming, but even if he had prepared, how could he have explained? Oh yes, I've been having homosexual thoughts about Alfred and oh, I even cheated on you with a Frenchman while away. That wouldn't go over well, no matter how kind and patient Erica was.
Truth be told, even if Alfred wasn't the problem in the picture, Erica was right. She wasn't enough. She was cute and enjoyable to be with, but she was dull. She didn't make Arthur's heart alight with passion, with excitement, with that joy of being with someone. Just being by their side, not even touching or talking. It wasn't because she tried hard or that there was something wrong with her.
Sometimes people just don't connect. It's no one's fault.
But it was Arthur's fault for prolonging everything this long. Erica deserved something, anything. Arthur wanted to give her himself. He wanted to stop longing for a man that he could never have. He refused to wander down that path. Erica was everything he should want in a woman, and before Alfred, she was. Waking up this morning and finding himself in the worst case scenario had changed his mind. He would do all he could to be a better man for Erica, for himself, and for God.
"I'm sorry," he said finally. "It's not you. It's me. Honest. I know men say that often to please their girlfriends, but I really do mean it. Please, believe me. I…I can't explain. Not yet. But I will. You…you mean a lot to me."
While waiting for Arthur's reply, Erica had begun playing with her hair. She looked up through her bangs at Arthur's eyes. Her own sparkled as if she were about to cry. She searched Arthur for truth in his words. Or maybe for what she wanted to believe.
Arthur hadn't completely lied. Erica meant something. He had gotten into this relationship for all the wrong reasons, but he aimed to change that. Starting now.
He pulled Erica into his arms, kissing her deeply like he had at the station. She wound her arms around his neck. Suddenly, Arthur's hands gripped Erica's shirt. He began pulling at it. Erica made a small noise of surprise, but never resisted. Instead, she reached down to move Arthur's hands. He pulled away when she rested them on her breasts. She smiled nervously. Arthur watched as she pulled her shirt off. He eyed her boobs, and then grabbed them without reservation. Erica rolled her eyes into the back of head, practically collapsing into his arms.
Gentleman was pushed aside as Erica and Arthur stumbled into the bedroom. When the door slammed on his face, he began howling. But it went on deaf ears.
Around three-thirty Arthur slipped out of bed to go to the bathroom. Erica remained sound asleep. She slept flat on her back, making cuddling after sex rather difficult.
Quietly Arthur crept to pull on his pants and trousers. Then he pulled open a drawer in his nightstand. A single pack of cigarettes sat there as if in wait. Arthur hadn't touched them since he first moved into his flat after graduating. He pulled out a single stick, and then went to the bathroom. He refused to look at himself in the mirror for fear of seeing himself. He practically ran to the balcony once he was relieved.
Smoking wasn't something Arthur did often, but now he needed it. In two days he had shagged two different people, and none of them felt right. Erica wasn't the best; it might've even been her first time. He took a long drag at the thought.
He should've been rejoicing that his manhood had been restored. He'd finally slept with his girlfriend. It was the thing all men craved for. And he had taken the right step towards patching things up in their relationship. His mind had been decided just hours ago. This truly was the correct path, wasn't it?
But as the night wore on and Arthur had long since finished his fag, one thing stuck out the most to him. Near their climax, Arthur began wondering how it would be if Alfred were underneath him. How he'd look, writhing and sweaty, calling his name. It wasn't that Arthur had lost interest in Erica during the heat of the moment. She could get better in time and with more practice. It was when Arthur first penetrated her. It didn't feel right. He was surely the only man that felt that way, judging by the men he used to hang with at college that shagged nightly with many different partners. They never brought up emotional things like this or how sex proved to you who was the one. Arthur was a sap, through and through.
The stars were fading now. Arthur still sat on the balcony looking at the sleeping city. A voice came to him, pushing away his frustrating sexual thoughts. It was of that damn Francis.
"But what does it prove to you? That you can lie to yourself and to everyone? Even God? I think you have to think what there is to prove here."
"Love will always do exactly what it wants to do. Just like God. He brought Alfred into your life for a reason."
Arthur heaved himself up and headed back inside. He noticed a blinking light coming from his mobile that he had set on the kitchen table when he returned home. It was a text message. Arthur unlocked the phone. It was low on battery and about to die. He saw that the text was from Alfred. It had come back at ten; hours ago. He wondered if he should even chance a look at it. Alfred might unintentionally guilt Arthur for his blatant ignorance of Alfred's existence this afternoon.
It didn't matter. Whatever Alfred had to say, Arthur couldn't do anything about it given the late (early) hour. He would read the text and reply in the morning. Before the phone died Arthur managed to read just one line from the message.
Elizabeth broke up with me.
Hoshiko2's cents: Hello, and my apologizes for such a big delay on the update of the series. To be honest, I participated in the Livejournal Summer Camp Event for the USUK community. I updated almost every day. If you're interested, I have it up here to read. Another reason I was missing was because I fell ill and have been having a lot of physical problems as of late. I went to the hospital twice and took a retreat into the mountains to help myself, but it's not been very affective. Nothing to worry about, though.
Now then, I also have a little announcement; a good one. Starting this weekend I will be starting a brand new mini-series. It will only be a few chapters long, but the chapters will be long. It will update once a week. I hope you check it out when it appears. And don't fret, this series will still continue.
Thank you for reading and reviewing. Reviews always make me happy.