M RATED CONTENT ENCLOSED - READER DISCRETION IS ADVISED
ANGEL AND THE DEVIL
-Never Had A Dream Come True-
CHAPTER TEN
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It'd been a week since he'd found happiness again, he still couldn't believe they were together. Not really together, but at least they were in the same room. He needed to send his grandfather a thank-you gift for his grandfather had vacated the condo in minutes and let them have the place. His grandfather had said he would be bunking with his in-law or his grandniece-in-law's father in other words.
Although he'd informed his grandfather of his own choice of wife and planned proposal, his grandfather had been skeptical as he had never taken the initiative to find a wife. But when he and his wife had shown up unexpected, he'd taken in stride. If he were right, his grandfather had looked like some destitute man who had just won Super Lotto. The retired Commander Yamamoto had been all smile and chattering at the news of his grandson's impending fatherhood. More importantly, he was a husband before becoming a father. He needed his wife to accept him first.
"Are you going to stay mad at me forever?" He asked then pleaded. "Please, say something. Anything. You can curse at me if you want. I'm sorry there were other women in my life. But they were before you and none of them mean anything to me."
"Is that what you told the other woman you met the morning after our wedding night? That I mean nothing and she means everything to you?"
"No, there was no other woman after you. I swear."
"So much good swearing does. I remember cursing you off the face of the earth and yet you're still here, stalking me."
"You really want me to disappear from your life?" He paused before telling her what she thought he didn't know. "From our baby's life?"
"How?"
"How did I find out about you carrying my baby? The baby bump, my angel. I saw enough of you and your body to notice the changes in you. Your pace slower and hands rest on your stomach often. I've seen pregnant women do the same with their unborn babies. And we didn't use protection." He said as his hands hovering over stomach. "I love this baby very much. I love it even more when I think about its mother protecting it in her womb. I love you more than life itself. Please believe me."
"No, you don't love me. You only say so now because I'm having your baby. You never said you loved me, not even during the heat of passion."
"I said I love you time and time again. With my body. Do you think I did what I did with you with other women?
"How would I know? I wasn't there when you were in bed with other women. Are there different ways of having sex? I thought all were the same, the man mounting the woman then came sweats and feeling used. Like another sex toy, a novelty for a man with high sex drive."
"That's not true. What we had isn't sex. We made love. I made love to you because I loved you. I love you even if you're treating me like I'm your mortal enemy, who killed your parents."
"My mom would have felt that way if she were alive."
He ignored the jab at his conscience. Convincing his wife to believe him and in his genuine love for her was more important. "Every caress that I gave you was another piece of my heart I gave you. Every stroke that I made was one more corner of my soul imprinted your name on it. And I never wanted to try oral sex until you. And never, ever I was so enthralled that I forgot to protect myself. I even made sure my woman..."
He wanted to kick himself for his poor choice of words when she flinched like he wounded her. He corrected himself. "I even made sure the women I was in bed with was on the pills. But with you I forgot all my rules and discipline. I didn't want any barrier between us, I wanted to be skin to skin. I wanted to be as close to you as I could. I wanted to be connected with you like no man ever was. I wanted to wear your skin and you wear mine. Even as we speak, I want to be inside you and never leave. That's how strong my feelings are for you, my angel."
He took her hand and placed it on his front where it differentiated his gender from hers. He knew he was aroused. Very. On him, her hand moved and caressed him through his clothing. Looking as if her fingers had moved on their own volition, she removed them when he groaned out loud, face reddening. He turned away from her and stayed that way, counting to get his libido under control. Once his passion ebbed somewhat, he bent down and kissed her for the pink in her cheeks had captivated him. She didn't move away but opened her mouth to welcome him.
He knew it was his chance and so he grasped it with both hands, trying his luck. "I thought I went to heaven when I made you mine. The moment I realized no man ever made his mark on you, do you know what I felt then?"
Dazedly, she locked gaze with his and very softly she asked, "Wha-" She faltered. "What did you feel?"
He gathered all the emotions deep down in him then got down and locked his gaze with hers. He hoped she would see the truth in his eyes as he spoke, voice shaking. "I felt like I was reborn as a new, better man. Your purity purified me."
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"I don't believe you."
She choked but charged on, condemning him. "Do you know how felt when I woke up to come see a stranger in our honeymoon suite? Can you imagine how I felt when that same stranger asked me if my newly wedded husband satisfied me like he did her? She also said your sex drive is sky high and one woman can never meet all your needs. I'd doubt her words but how could I when I myself knew your appetite? Our wedding night was my first time and yet you didn't let me rest. I could barely walk the following morning. I was sore for days. I had firsthand experience how insatiable you can be."
"I'm so sorry."
"Not more than I. Do you know how I felt then, Shuuhei?" Her voice dropped an octave. He braced himself for the pain he'd feel from her pain, but he wasn't ready enough. She told him. "I felt like dying. I didn't only lose my virginity but my heart and soul also died. I always took pride in myself for walking the straight and narrow path. I prided myself for doing the right things and making sound decisions. How could you do that to me like I was nothing but your sex slave? You made a fool out of me. From the start you had me in your hands like a puppeteer with his puppet. I was head over heels for you, you could easily dine and wine then bed me. You didn't have to go as far as marrying me, you could have me without all that pomp of a proposal and wedding bands. You only needed to be the man I thought you were for me to be your willing woman. How stupid of me to think I was special to you like you were to me. I thought I finally found my own corner of a heaven. Why did you go to bed with another while you vowed you wanted and chased after me? How could you touch me the way you did and not tell me about her and her baby? What if her baby was yours? You wanted to take responsibility with her and the baby then what about me? Were you going to forget me like your other women? How could you?"
She pummeled him on the chest and it hurt a little. He winced but ignored the increasing discomfort, intending to clear whatever misunderstanding she had of him. In low voice, he admitted his guilt. "I'm sorry you had to wake up to the kind of news Julie told you. And I'm ashamed for being so weak and letting man's pride dictate my actions. Although my act on that night was my lapse of judgment, I shouldn't have run at the first sign of failure. I should have stayed put and true to my heart. How can you ever forgive me?"
He raised his voice in desperation. She'd then stopped hitting him but her hands still clutched at his shirt, unknowingly touched right where his healing wound was at. He couldn't stop himself and groaned out of pain. To him his pain didn't go wasted for she released his shirt and was looking at his chest with concern, teeth biting her lower lip. He wanted those teeth his and they were tasting her sweet lips. Busy following the mirage of emotions on her face, he didn't notice her hands unbuttoning his shirt to look the cause of his groan. As she had his shirt opened and revealed a white bandage wrapped around his chest, he saw the horror in her yes. She gently traced the bandage which now had spots of blood, lips moved forming words but no sound came out.
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When she finally had control of her vocal cords, she demanded. "What did you do to yourself again this time? To your chest? Why are there so many scars and marks?"
"There wasn't any mark before you. But the morning after a certain angel took care of me in my own bed, I found teeth marks on my shoulders and scratches on my back. Lots of them. Some even bled like the morning after our wedding night. I wonder how I got them."
Her face burned hotly at his words. She didn't know she could be that passionate and uncontrollable. But everything was possible with the man. Didn't men need to time recuperate before going at it again? The man before her hadn't, he'd kept her busy and hadn't let her rest long enough before becoming full again. And she, a novice as she'd been, hadn't objected and cooperated fully, yielding to her body's demands and instincts. Cooling her hot face with the palm of her hands, she tried to act grown up.
"Will you stop mentioning our intimacy? Do you have to bring it up every time to get your point through?"
"Yes. I'll stop when I leave this world. Even then I'll follow you to the afterlife to remind you so you won't forget about us and marry me again."
"Afterlife? Who ever told you I remember you in this life? I'd remember if I did."
"I don't need to be told. Your carrying little Shuuhei Hisagi is proof enough for me."
"It can be little Soi Fon. Would you mind then?"
"No, not a lot. I'd mind when she grows up and boys start sniffling at her heels. I'm worried she'll be like her mommy and marry in Las Vegas without any family as witness."
"You're out of your mind. What do you think you're doing? Trying to make me mad and never talk to you again? For real this time."
"Of course not. Why would I do that? I don't want to sleep in my cold bed alone anymore. I'm trying to make you believe me."
"You suck at it. You weren't only insulting me for being none too wise to fall for a stranger, you were also insulting our daughter for not smart enough to make the right choices. And I didn't say anything about moving in with you let alone sharing a bed."
"I'm sorry I made you feel that way. But in my defense, I have the responsibility to protect any girls we'll have from bad boys. And you, my wife, isn't going anywhere without me, certainly not sleeping in any other bed but mine."
"Playing dominant male, aren't we? Where on the marriage license dictates that a wife has to share a house or a bed with her husband?"
"Nowhere," said her husband. He took her hands and rested them over his heart. "Here I'm saying it and your heart is agreeing with me."
He informed her with such arrogance that she wanted to smack that grin off his face. He didn't give her the chance to act on her thought, giving her another kiss. She almost believed his words for she felt her heart lurched in her chest when said that. His kiss was brief yet she couldn't miss the passion behind it and her heart grew wings then fluttered. She could feel his passion through the layers of their clothing. She knew she was in trouble. Soon. She used to say Yoruichi was hopeless and helpless against Kisuke and now she found herself in the same spot.
She was like a moth drawn to a flame and the flame was her own husband. She wondered when she would grow out of her feelings for him and become immune to his passion. With his passion and her own, she was doomed and couldn't resist him for long. The mere mention of their nights together left her weak and longing for him and his possession. She knew she was shameless. But how could she not want him when her body hummed whenever he was near. Even when he wasn't, her body remembered his. Her body made its displeasure known to her as her arms and legs felt lost having nothing to hold on, her front felt weightless, and her core cried out for its mate.
Their relationship had started with physical attraction and bloomed with passion; nothing deep or enduring like the relationship between Yoruichi and Kisuke. How long would their relationship last then? When their passion for each other burned out? And how long would that be? She was going to have their baby in less than five months, there would be two or so months left for them to indulge in their passion. After child birth, they'd need to keep their hands off each other for some more months. Totaled together, he'd have to hold his desire in check for quite some time. Would he be able to stay celibate that long? Or he'd get tired of waiting as his usual appetite kicked in, demanding satisfaction? What would he do then? Turn to other women? She felt the hands of some nameless and faceless woman slashing her heart and twisting her guts. She was already jealous at the thought of him in bed with his next woman.
Was this love? Or it was pure possession since he was her first. In a way her newest and rarest toy. Would her passion for him burn out as well? Would she be attracted to other men now that she knew what passion was and her body had tasted it to miss the chance to taste it again when her husband became bored and left her to find another novelty? Or she was as stubborn in love as she was with every other aspect in her life and didn't change her mind easily if ever, which never happened before. But there was first time for everything. Maybe she'd fall for another man who also had the rugged looks, charms, magnetic sexual appeal like her husband. Maybe she'd also fall harder for her new man and forget all about her first man and his inexplicable hold on her. And maybe it'd be possible for her to look at any man of Asian descent with calm looking and a scar across the nose, without seeing her husband or remembering the rush of love she'd felt when she traced his scar while he was sleeping.
On their wedding night, she'd spent hours watching him after he'd fallen asleep. When fatigue had finally claimed her, she closed her eyes with a smile, knowing she'd be seeing him again in her sleep. Hands on her baby bump, she wondered if their baby would take after him or her or some from both parents. No matter whom their baby would look like, she loved it all the same. She'd loved it the second the good motherly doctor told her of her blood test result and that she'd conceived during her reckless night. Although she'd felt lost and hated the father then, she'd wanted to keep and protect it. She'd promised her baby she'd love it and try to make up for the father's absence. Absorbed in her inner debate, she didn't hear him call her until she felt his hands on hers, still resting on her stomach.
"Angel?"
"Yes?"
"Oh, thank God. I thought there was something wrong. I called your name several times but you didn't seem to hear. Are you all right? Are you feeling well?"
"Sorry. I was just thinking about something. I'm fine."
"And our baby?"
The way he said our baby and how he touched her stomach made her want to tear up. It must be her hormones, because she was never like this, feeling like crying like a spoiled little girl. Maybe he spoiled her a bit. Since he found her a week ago, he always made sure she was comfortable, well fed, and kept warm. And by keeping warm, he never let up a chance to cuddle or kiss her. Yet he hadn't attempted to resume their marital activity, not even a passionate kiss or touch, until today. Was he already tired of her? He didn't want to drive for an hour just to get her favorite food late at night again? He didn't find her appealing and desirable anymore? Could she dare to hope he'd kept his distance feeling responsible for her unhappiness and she didn't want anything to do with him anymore? If so, he was wrong. She wanted everything to do with him. She wanted to live in his house, to sleep in his bed, and to love him. And when their baby was born, she wanted them to love and raise it together. She also wanted to have more babies with him. She wanted to spend the rest of her life with him as his wife and the mother of all his children.
All his children? Where did that thought come from? But once it came, it rooted and made her wonder if he already had a kid with another woman. Unlike her, he'd been sexually active. Although he said he always used protection and made sure the women he was with on birth control as well, there was a possibility that he made another child with another woman. Condoms could break and the women could lie just to sleep with him. And if one of the women he'd been with fell in love with him like she did with him, that woman could have lied to him as to have a baby with the man she loved.
"Shuuhei?"
"Yes, angel?"
"Other than the baby you almost believed you had with Julie, do you have any kid with any of the women you had been with?"
"No, I don't have any kid with any of them."
There was certainty in his voice. How could he be so sure? Accidents happened and all birth control methods weren't foolproof. Maybe he was certain because he was still in touch with his other women. He was a responsible man and wouldn't let his kids grow up without any involvement. And if he was still in touch with them, did that mean he still had feelings for them on certain extent?
"How can you be so sure?"
She voiced her thought yet she was afraid of hear the answer. Still, she needed to know, he didn't want to see the day her baby fall for its own half sibling. On needles and pins, she traced his bandage to keep her mind busy before she could do something childish. Like demanding him to give her the names of his other women.
"I know because I checked up with them after our liaison was over. And all but one of the women I'd been with are in the service, they're more concerned about having babies than I. And my unfortunate involvement with Julie." He kissed her hands and kept them in his. "That night when I was with her, I thought I lost you. I made myself believe she was you. That's why I was more erogenous than I'd ever been with any woman, except you. I took her words and accepted her baby as mine, believing my condom had broken. But I'm glad I wasn't so dumb and marry her blind."
"She's not me. How couldn't you tell?"
"I knew she wasn't you but didn't want to accept the reality. It was stupid and the worst excuse ever, but it's an honest truth. Both the women and I knew where we stood and only helped one another with our mutual need. I'd never wanted any woman more than once at a time, until you. I can never have enough of you, my angel."
She felt light-hearted then her heart turned heavy. He saw his other women from time to time. Did he still find them attractive? Her train of selfish thoughts stopped when he revealed more of his past.
"I wouldn't have married you if I had a kid with another woman. I'd be married to my kid's mother if I had one. My dad was born out of wedlock and his birth had darkened his life until he met my mom. I never want my children to suffer the same fate as their grandfather did."
"Does that mean you'd marry any woman who happened to have carried baby even if you didn't love her? Like me right now?"
"No, it's not like that with you. We got married before I found out about our baby. And I married you because I fell in love with you."
She wasn't sure whether she would have deceived him or not. Would she, if she'd happened to fall in love with him but he hadn't loved her back or married her? Yes, she was more than sure that she'd have entertained the idea of lying that she'd been on the pills in order to be with him. Just like their wedding night, she'd imagined having his baby, watching him sleep. And when she'd found out she was actually pregnant with his baby, she'd been glad he hadn't insisted on birth control. She was also glad he hadn't used protection. She wouldn't have felt all of him or share all of her with him if he had. There would have been barrier, however thin, between them. She'd always wanted her first time to be natural, real, and down to earth. He'd made her wish come true and for that she wanted to thank him as well as for giving her their baby.
"You do want our baby, don't you?"
He asked her. She couldn't understand how he'd come up with such absurdity. But as she examined herself carefully, she realized her body language did give that impression. She was sitting so still and her face must be looking drawn and worried like she felt.
So as gently as she knew how, she countered. "You think I don't want it?"
"I'm not sure. You hated me and ran away. You didn't talk to me for the whole week and the baby you're carrying is mine. And your career goal has always been your priority. Having this baby will hinder your career path. So I just wonder if you ever considered not keeping it."
She grabbed his shirt then said, face to face. "You think I'd choose career over our baby? And what if I don't want to keep it?"
"If you hate me that much, please carry my baby to full term and have it," begged her husband, his fingertips at her lips. "I'll take it and raise it on my own. I'm still on duty for some time, could you please take care of my baby until then? And if you don't want anyone know about you having a baby, you can stay with my grandfather. His house is on a ranch and far from populated areas. You don't need to go a hospital, I'll look for a trusted midwife when the baby comes. Your identity won't be disclosed. If you can do that for my baby and me, I promise to disappear from your life and stay away forever. I won't even tell the baby that you're its mother if that's what you want. I really want this baby. I need this baby."
She couldn't have said anything for he hadn't given her a chance to cut in and his touching plea touched had also rendered her speechless. But it wasn't as deeply touching as when she felt the wetness on her hands. She knew it was his tears. He had her hands in his while his head bent, resting where their baby was. He already loved their baby that much and thought she didn't? And he called their baby his baby, their baby was her baby too. Did he think she even contemplated the idea of aborting their baby? And he sounded desperate about having this baby.
"Why are you so desperate to have this baby?"
"Because it's my baby, my flesh and blood. I also want to give my grandfather what he's always wished for."
"Just those two reasons and nothing else?" She searched his eyes but he avoided her. She was right, he had another reason. And if it was indeed what she suspected it to be, she desperately wanted to hear it straight from him. Half provoking half serious, she told him. "I don't have to have this baby and you don't need it either. You're still young and physically fit, more than fit, to have more babies. You can ask one of the other women to have your baby. Not just one baby, you can as many babies as your heart desires."
She knew her bait worked when he lost some of his composure and said, "I don't want any other baby. I want this baby. Our baby. I only want your baby."
Wanting to hug him and give him kisses, she also wanted him to taste a bit of his own medicine. She needed him to experience her experience when he give her his medicine and put her through hell for past months. Feigning indifference, she told him. "I don't think I can stand carrying extra pounds for another five months."
"Why can't you? I'll do whatever you say if you agree to have my baby."
"Whatever?"
"Anything and everything that you ask."
"Ready for your list?" He nodded as she asked and for a split second, she wanted to abort her game plan, seeing how miserable he looked just then. But the bow already released, she had to go with the arrow. She started to give him his tasks as she counted them with her fingers. "One, stop calling this baby as my baby, it's mine too. From now on, this baby is called our baby. We'll decide on a name when we know its gender. And two, tell me why you didn't approach me on your own but went to Dad."
"I didn't want to but had to. You'd never give a chance if I didn't go to Father first. You didn't even let others introduce me to you. Remember?"
"I was rude to you. Why didn't you just give up?" Reflecting on her own reactions through the months in which she'd avoided him. Once or twice she'd even been as rude as given him the cut direct. Tracing the bandage on his chest as if to heal it, she told him. "That's your next task."
"Can you kiss it better before I tell you? It's hurting."
He asked and without her consent, he kissed her. She gave in for she couldn't deny him or herself. She stood and pulled him in for a kiss that he'd taught her how and she'd been longing for since her last time here. He complied wholeheartedly and before she knew he already had her flat on her back, again. But on the day bed this time. He didn't give her the time or chance to protest, not that she wanted it. But shouldn't a gentleman have the courtesy and asked his lady what she wanted. Luckily, he wasn't a gentleman, not when he was with her anyway. With her, he was a rogue, her rogue and with him. In the meantime, she wasn't a lady but a slave, his willing slave.
By the time she sorted out her thoughts, she was as bare as the day she'd been born. Her clothes scattered around the living room, ripped as he took them off in haste. His shirt and undershirt shared their fate. As her eyes followed their discarded clothes, her gaze roamed his front hungrily and when it moved south, she saw his glory. Pleasuring it with her eyes, it seemed to grow bigger. Feeling herself gone wet, she brought her legs together, but they started to move on their own volition. He seemed to understand and rushed to undress the rest. Unfortunately for him and her, his jeans stubbornly refused to let go of his right foot, playing tug at war with him. Frustrated, he dropped them and came over her, with one leg pant still on.
Just then she realized he wasn't wearing his briefs or boxer. She asked him, who was already worked his way down her south. "You weren't wearing underwear."
"Why bother…wear them when…I'll take…them off…again?"
He explained between kisses. She was breathing hard too, but needed to do something to get her mind off what he was doing. If not, she would take the pleasure away from him and have her way with him.
"Were you hoping for me to give in that badly?"
Her voice was breathless as he was doing wonders on her. He didn't answer but teased her with his teeth. She couldn't hold it and moaned, opening wider for him. He took her cue and pulled more of her into his mouth then sucked. The louder she moaned the harder he sucked and only stopped when she stopped moaning to scream her climax. She still hadn't recovered when he moved up then in one swift thrust, he found her warmth. This time they weren't hurry like they had been and took their time. They moved slowly, savoring each taste, touch, and thrust. When he reached his limit of control, they climaxed simultaneously, calling out each other's name.
He then turned and had her on top of him, their bodies still connected. Full of him, she lay there breathing in their love scent and stroking his damp hair and face. Only then she remembered he hadn't told her cause for his wound. She tapped the arms around her waist, letting him know she wanted to get up. But she got no response from him. She lifted her chin to look at him, his eyes were closed. She listened carefully to distinguish their passionate heartbeats from his breathing, he was sleeping. She felt sorry about last night when she intentionally made him drive one hour to get her favorite food from her favorite restaurant. No wonders her man was dead tired and fell asleep only one round of love making. Her man. She liked how they rolled off her tongue and how they sounded to her own ears when said them aloud. And so she said it again.
"My man."
She hugged his sleeping form. If her man had had enough sleep the night before, they'd be already on another round for his was still hard in her. Making up for last night, she kept her body still so he could have his sleep. And yet she couldn't stop her body from wanting him, her inner muscles moved on their own. They loved him and not surprisingly, it rose to its mate's call and enlarged in her. She had to still herself as not to move on him.
"Still greedy, my woman?"
She jerked up at the sound of his voice and her muscles convulsed stronger and faster. He stirred then, adjusting his body to better fit her. She meant to chide him for feigning sleep but her voice came out weak.
"You weren't sleeping?"
"My woman, how could your man go to sleep when he heard an angel sweetly called him her man?"
He laughed and his laugh made it way down through her warmth. She'd thought after all bouts of his lovemaking he already touched the deepest depth of her core. She'd been wrong because his laughter stirred something deep inside her. Moving up and down on him, she touched his male nipples with her fingertips. She felt him stretching inside her.
"Well, my man, how could a woman let her man sleep when he was pulsing within her?"
"You really are a woman now. You demand your rights as a wife very effectively." He teased and then unexpectedly he thrust deeply and so that she almost fell off of him.
Before she could right herself, he gently turned her around with him behind her and she on her four. Spreading his big warm hands on her hips, he pressed her back down onto him as he was on his knees, entering her hot opening, throbbing and waiting to be salvaged. When he stopped shy of going to the tilt, she was frustrated and let her frustration known by tugging his hair, hard.
But he changed all that and made her a very happy woman when he whispered into her ears. "I heard other men talk about this position but never tried it. This is also my first time."
Those words melt her heart and blazed her core, she responded in kind. "You're my lover, man, and husband roll into one. Whatever we do together is always my first. If I'm not your first girl but first love, I'll make do with experiencing anything you've never done with any other woman. That's enough for me. I don't care about the women before me, I only want and need your love. Just love me, my Shuuhei."
And he loved her with such passion and tenderness that brought tears to her eyes.
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"Is that why you let him back into your life?"
She and Yoruichi were on the phone, sharing housewives' tales and tricks. She found their routine interesting and helpful. She was thankful that Yoruichi had suggested the idea; otherwise, she would be so lonely like she was now when Shuuhei went on his trips for work. He could be gone for days on end, leaving her sleep alone in their big, empty bed. She could look for work to keep her busy, but Shuuhei thought it was better for her to stay home until after birth. He had reasoned that their baby was their first and her body wasn't used to extra weight, moving around. Hence, she should take extra care and stay put at home. She suspected he wanted her stay put at home and in their bed, ready for him whenever he was able to come home. She didn't mind and only complained to make him work harder in pleasing her. But he wasn't home now and she was on the phone with Yoruichi. She'd got to stop thinking about her husband.
"That's what I thought my reason was. I thought I wanted him in my life for the sake of my baby, but it isn't true. When I came here, he didn't say a word but looked at me. I would have kicked him out of his own home if you hadn't told me about his following me around until Las Vegas. And when I looked into his eyes, I felt somehow he was at the right place and everything was going to be fine. He also looked like someone who had lost everything he'd ever held dear but found it when he saw me. I was still mad like hell yet I found myself watch him from under my lashes, wishing I were in his arms."
She'd been mad at him. He hadn't come to look for her after his talk with Kisuke and Shunsui. As the good men had promised her, they hadn't mentioned her pregnancy and let Shuuhei make the decision based solely on his feelings for her. So when he'd insisted on waiting for the test result before seeing her. He'd also said he was ashamed of his immature deed. Kisuke had relayed his message to her that he couldn't have faced her or her father until he'd had a clear answer for her. She'd wanted to hate him for his decision but couldn't have. Her husband was a responsible man, he'd rather shoulder his responsibilities and deprive himself than turn his back on his baby. She'd respected his decision and waited. She couldn't deny the relief she'd felt reading the result from Retsu's colleague.
It was Yoruichi's idea to have someone they trusted to do the DNA test. Her friend had reasoned tests could yield different results if the one who ran it wasn't careful. She herself had wondered if Retsu had ever considered to manipulate the testing and its result in their favor. So she'd asked Retsu and her reply was touching.
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"Retsu, tell me the truth that you didn't do anything to alternate the final result."
"You think I'll compromise my professional conduct as well as personal morale? My integrity?"
She was sorry to voice her concern and yet she needed to be certain. The test wasn't just any test, it was something of grave importance. Its outcome would dictate her fate and change her baby's future.
"I really am sorry to have asked you that, but I had to." She carried on when Retsu was going to say something. "No, Retsu, I never, ever doubt your character or professional conduct. However, you're a loyal friend and won't hesitate to do what you think will make me happy."
Retsu sighed then said, eyes on her. "I considered it. I spoke with Shunsui and we shared the thought that you should stay married to Shuuhei. You're his legal wife and he's your baby's father. You have the right to be selfish and fight for what's legally and rightfully yours. It doesn't matter if Julie's baby is his, he chose to marry you and not her. He can always share custody with Julie and stay in his other baby's life. It's the most logical solution and fair to all involved."
She was on edge holding the envelop from the lab. What would she do if it came out positive? Would she still keep her baby a secret then? Would she let the only guy she'd ever loved go to another woman? Would she able to do that to her own baby? Her baby was his baby just like Julie's was his. But Julie had been in his life first and her baby had been conceived before her own. Julie and her baby had precedence.
She knew her heart would die a gradual death with the decision was forming in her mind; still, it was right the thing to do. She'd bring her baby's parentage with her to the grave if Julie's baby was his and he chose to stay with its mother. She would call Brian to let know her of her final decision and that he could finalize her divorce. Mind made up and with hands none too steady, she inserted a finger and opened the door to her future. Or doom.
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"I'm glad that result came out negative. I know I'm being selfish but-"
"I understand what you mean. Julie's baby is innocent and deserves to have a father as much as yours. But Fon, love is blind. We can only feel what we feel. I'm not sure what I would do if Hisana was really Kisuke's daughter. I don't think I could have welcomed her with open heart like I did if the mother were alive." Her friend laughed before continuing. "I'm not a saint you know. Just like you're with Shuuhei, I'm crazily possessive of Kisuke. Sometimes I have to wonder what I'd do if he so much looked in another woman's direction."
Yoruichi broke down in another laugh. Yoruichi must be laughing hard for she heard choked coughing came from the other end.
"Yoruichi? Are you OK?"
"Yeah, just need to wipe my tears." Then only a small sniffle could be heard before laughing in tears Yoruichi spoke, poking fun at herself. "I might be tempted to chain Kisuke to our bed if he'd been flirty like Shuuhei. How could she ever put up with a flirt for a boyfriend? She can be sainted."
Her friend said about their friend Retsu and she must agree. If she hadn't witnessed the tears Retsu had shed through the months thinking Shunsui had been cheating, she would never believe there was anger and jealousy in her body. That had been before the couple had reconciled and married.
"I know. Let's us hope Shunsui left his merry-go-around attitude behind and keeps Retsu happy. She's like a can of soda with extra pressure, always calm to the point of stillness. But with more compression and less space, it can be deadly if opened after too much shaking. I'm scared to see an unhappy Retsu now that she's known the feelings of being his wife. I used to think I was tough and wouldn't be bothered by a person's past. And what did I know? Gosh, I was on the end of my hair getting jealous over Shuuhei's past women."
"Did you know Shunsui wasn't as lecherous as we were led to believe?"
Her friend sounded like a tease yet there was seriousness in her tone too. What did Yoruichi know that she didn't?
"He had only one girlfriend before Retsu. Remember the woman Retsu had walked in on and told us about?"
"Really? I thought he had at least a few. That's good then. So only my husband is the playboy." Heaved a sigh. "I'm younger than all of you so there were times you guys kept things from me. You two saw me as a baby."
"You still are a baby."
"No, I'm not. I'm almost a mommy now. How can a baby be a mommy to another baby?"
"Yeah, yeah. You can say it all you want, but." Her friend paused and she knew she'd done it on purpose. "But you can't deny that you used to be so conscious and blush whenever we walked past a kissing couple."
"That was years ago!"
"Only five years ago. How much had it changed? I don't know what they had you do in the military to shed you off your caterpillar form and turn you into a normal girl."
Did she just hear Yoruichi guffaw? She just didn't get it. Wasn't she always a g- female? She might have been a tomboy growing up but she'd been as normal as any other teenager girl. "What do you mean?"
"You really don't know or are pretending not to know?"
"I really don't know. I admit I wasn't a girly girl but I don't remember I ever acted not normal."
"You didn't act like a normal, hot blooded female until after you joined the military. After joining, you changed and started to talk boldly. Agreeably that school subjects have become rather colorful, still no teachers talk about what you pretended to know firsthand. You sounded like you knew it all that goes on between the sheets. You even teased my poor husband. He's a man and yet he blushed at your comments."
She wasn't going to lose. "You were just the same. You, who had never kissed on the lips, gave me tips on guys and dating. When you started college, I even believed you did it with one of the guys you were flirting with. I thought you waited long enough and decided to give in to your cat curiosity."
"I was a good actor, wasn't I?"
"Yes, you were. If you'd been than good, Kisuke would have asked you out."
"You think so? I wanted him to notice the change that we weren't kids or simply friends anymore. But he never did. Even so, I never entertained the idea of becoming intimate with anyone but him."
"You should ask him why he waited for so long to claim you. I'm curious too. How could a man with his looks and personality not have a girl before you?"
"Because I glued myself to his side not giving any girl any chance to come near him."
"I noticed that. Still, he started college before you and the ten years he was away from home. I wonder if he had some physiological issues."
"Fon, please don't ever bring that up to him. If you do, you won't hear from me for days because he'll want to make sure that's not true. Even though what he has in mind is the same as I, we have kids to look after."
"OK, your message is clear. Speaking of which, I think I have to get going too. I heard the keys rattled at the door just now."
"Your message is clear as well. Just don't forget to turn off the oven or it'll blow up."
"But I'm already pregnant, I can't get pregnant again. If I weren't expecting, I wouldn't mind trying for one."
"I can tell. But that's not the oven I'm talking about."
"What did you mean then?"
"Is your brain already in bed with your husband? I meant the oven under the stove in the kitchen. You told me earlier you were making dinner. Or attempting to."
Smacking her own head as she remembered their dinner. "Oh, thank you, Yoruichi. If you didn't remind me, I believe Shuuhei and I would have charcoals for dinner if the house didn't burn down already."
She walked to the stove to turn off the oven. She was baking Funeral Potatoes, a recipe she'd just learned from her cousin Nancy in Utah. She hoped it turned out better this time for her last attempt had yielded a very unflattering result. Shuuhie hadn't complained but finished whatever left from the burning. He'd said it'd tasted great and would like to have it again.
"Already, Shuuhei's wife, turn off that oven and go greet your husband. I heard someone said her husband had been away for almost week. And from personal experience, I'm certain she wants to greet him properly. He wants the same too. I believe he already had his shoes and shirt off."
How did Yoruichi know that? True to Yoruichi's words, she saw her husband's shoes were nowhere in sight and now was unbuttoning the last button of his shirt. She was glad they weren't sharing their place with anyone. It would be so embarrassing to have their family walk in on them while they were enjoying themselves in broad day light. In the living room.
"Stop teasing us. Yoruichi's husband must be doing the same for her to know the procedure to the details."
"Ha ha. You've got it right, girlfriend. Anyhow, I'm off to be a good mother and feed my son. You too, be a good wife and give your husband his dose. Take care, Fon. Love you."
"Love you. And thank you for eveything."
"We're like sisters. Call on either Retsu or me whenever you need to talk about anything. Promise?"
"Promise."
"Bye for now. Tell Shuuhei we said hello."
"I will. Tell everyone we said hello too. Bye Yoruichi."
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She didn't even get to put the phone down when her husband pulled her into a tight hug. "I've missed you, my angel."
"I've missed you too."
He kissed her before she could ask him about his work. Then she lost the chance to talk about anything as her husband picked up heading for the stairs. He was careful and kept her from banging her head against handrail when they reached the top. Once upstairs he put her gently, she thought he was going to leave for a shower. He was sweaty but she wouldn't mind if his body wanted to reacquaint with hers. It'd been almost a week and hers had missed him. And his eyes was showing the kind of shine that he always had when they made love. She'd thought he would take her to bed, but he didn't.
"I've missed you, my princess," said her husband to their baby, on his knees.
She smiled at the sight and the love she felt for him rushed through her. She felt her love deepened even more. She'd known she loved him for a long time and wanted to tell him so. But somehow every time she'd attempted to verbalize that love, she couldn't have said it. She'd tried many times. Every single time she'd opened her mouth wanting to shout it out, but nothing had come out. She didn't know why. Not really. And her suspicion of her own reluctant declaration at the moment drove her down the guilt lane. She felt guilty toward him and was ashamed of her own action. Why couldn't she just tell him she loved him too? They had been together long enough and there was no part on her body that he hadn't known or touched. Shouldn't she feel secured and confident enough to share her feelings as willing as she'd been sharing her body with him?
"Angel?"
His nickname for her spoken from him always send shivers down her spine and burn her inside out. She wanted to tell him she loved him. Resolved, she went down on her knees in order for their gaze to meet. Looking deep into his eyes, she felt loved and so she prepared her vocal cords to sound out that love. She opened her mouth and disappointingly not a word, not even a syllable came as she'd demanded it to. She wanted to cry seeing the expectant look on him, as if he'd known she'd been about to tell him something important. And when she hadn't, his face lost some of its color and joy she'd seen when he'd first come home. Frustrated and disgusted with herself, she stood up and with an excuse that she needed to check on their dinner then turned to leave.
Her husband hugged her from behind. "I'm sweaty but I'm tired for a bath. Would you mind to help scrub my back, my angel?"
She felt her tense body relaxed at his simple request. He didn't have to ask. She'd do more to make up for her cowardliness to verbally express her love. If she couldn't tell him she loved him, she would show him her love them. With that in mind, she took hold of his hand and started for the bathroom in their room. In the shower, she showed him her love then cried when he told her that he loved her. She wished he'd known she was crying so that he could understand their coming together also meant her love. She wouldn't have shared herself with him or done everything he'd ever done on her body on his own.
And yet, he couldn't have known for the water from their shower mingled with her tears and washed them away. She needed to let her love out or else she would choke on it. Thus, when they were in bed and he told her to nap while he went to get dinner ready, she kept him. She wanted him to stay so she could tell him how much she loved him. He obliged and once again, she said I love you too with every innocent touch and passionate kiss.
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