Disclaimer: This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents either are products of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. I don't own Twilight, clearly.

I will never be grateful enough to Wendy and Jen. They're the best!

Updating because... yeah, we're fucking awesome. You are, too. Enjoy!

"I always thought the joy of reading a book is not knowing what happens next." (Leonard Shelby, Memento. 2000) written by Christopher Nolan.

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CHAPTER 9 – Paranoid

June 27th—Friday

We were still in bed, enjoying the warm sun that entered through the window, when something snapped in me. I turned to the clock on Edward's bedside table.

"Shit!" I threw the covers aside and hopped out of bed, frantically searching for something to put over my naked body.

I found the white boxers I wore the night before and his pajama pants, so I put those on. I found everything except my t-shirt. I turned around and saw Edward was lazily lifting it up over his head, while wearing a perfect smirk on his face. I covered my breasts with one arm and tried to grab the t-shirt with the other, but he wasn't having any of it. I was trying to reach the t-shirt without kneeing his balls. Edward didn't need to use that much strength to push my arm apart from my breasts and circle my waist, to bring them to his mouth. He started licking and sucking away.

"Edward," I said, a bit breathless. "Give me the t-shirt. I have to run, it's late!"

"Nope," he responded to one of my nipples. He really was a breast kind of guy—not that mine were that spectacular. "Where are you going?"

"To Port Angeles," I explained. "I need to go pick up my truck, and I told Jake I'd be there by noon."

"Uh."

"Edward, give me the t-shirt."

"But you didn't say the magic word." He was teasing me, and I loved it, but I really was late.

I was torn between staying where I was and having sex with this hunk of a man all day or going home, showering, and meeting my best friend. And I was still seriously pondering that while Edward played with my breasts with his free hand. I could tell his other arm was getting tired.

"Ungh, God," I moaned.

"Not that one," he said, smirking.

"Please?"

"Please what?" he asked. I was lost for words for a moment. Did I want more? Did I want him to let me go? "Bella?"

"Please…" I started "…touch me."

And he did. The t-shirt was discarded to the floor. Edward laid me down on the bed and hovered over me, his lips almost touching mine. He peeled the pajama pants down my legs, but left the boxers on. Maybe he thought it was sexy. I was just feeling really hot. I didn't remember a time when I was so horny, except now. Around him, everything was arousing.

Edward kissed my neck while one of his hands snaked down my stomach until it was in the boxers and touching me where I wanted him the most. I moaned softly, arching my back.

"I can't get enough of you, Bella," he mumbled to the back of my ear. I felt his hot breath there, and a shiver ran through me.

It didn't take him long to make me climax and clench around his very talented fingers.

He really was the perfect lover. Not only because he knew just what I needed physically, but because he also knew when to stop. And even though I was already running pretty late, I asked him about his 'situation' and he simply responded with a wink, "That was just something to send you on your way. We'll finish later." I would've gladly reciprocated, though.

Thankfully, Esme was MIA when we went down to the kitchen after getting dressed. We grabbed a quick coffee and Edward drove me home. He wanted to drive me to Port Angeles, but Jasper had put him on a deadline to finish composing his third album. We kissed longer than necessary for a goodbye kiss before I finally got out of the car.

I never had gone back home feeling like that. Like I had crossed an epic magic line. Not even when I lost my virginity. I thought Charlie would really see through me this time, mainly because I stayed out all night, he knew I was with Edward, and I didn't even bother to call.

To say I was surprised that Charlie was drinking coffee while reading the newspaper in the kitchen like everything was normal was an understatement.

"Hey," I said from the kitchen door.

"Morning, Bells."

"Dad?" I asked, and he raised his head to look at me. I was wearing the same jeans I had yesterday and Edward's t-shirt. It was probably my favorite one. "Is everything okay?"

"Yes." He looked me up and down. "Are you okay?"

I nodded and smiled a little. "I am."

"I didn't receive any emergency call saying you were left to die in the side of the road, so I assumed you were… having fun." He said that with a smirk, but I really didn't want to know what he was imagining.

"Yeah, we had a great time," I rushed to say.

He had gone back to read, but the smirk was still in place. He so knew.

It's fine. He seems fine. Just go with it.

"So, remember I need to pick up my truck?" I said.

· - ·

After a quick shower and a much needed change of clothes, we were on the road to Port Angeles.

When I was younger, I hated riding in Charlie's patrol car. He had to drive me to school some days, and it was embarrassing. Everyone expected something cool was about to happen, because the cops were in the school. Then I got out, trying not to care about everyone's obvious stares. Now that I really needed the ride, I was actually glad we were going in this, because as much as he wanted to respect the speed limit, I convinced my father to go a little bit faster.

In less than an hour, we were entering Port Angeles, taking the road to Jake's shop. It was a very cute little place in the very center of the city. My red truck was parked outside, clean and shiny.

"I'll just say hello to Jacob and go," Charlie said as we got out of the car.

"You can have lunch with us if you want."

"No, I uh… I told Sue I'd take her out today, actually," he said sheepishly.

I grinned and hugged him. "I'm so glad, Dad."

He wrapped his arms around me and squeezed a little.

"Bella!" Jake was approaching us outside of his shop. "Can I have a hug, too?"

I laughed and hugged him eagerly. I almost regretted it when I smelled the sweat and grease on him. He felt familiar, though. I loved him like a brother. We broke apart when Charlie cleared his throat. They were soon engaged in a man-hug, saying it had been too long since they saw each other last.

My father left as Jake started closing up the shop. He had showered quickly—he had a complete bathroom in the back—and changed his dirty 'Black's Auto Repair Shop' shirt for a clean blue one. We decided to walk to a nearby Italian restaurant. Jake said he used to eat there very often.

"Look at you!" I exclaimed, lightly punching his strong arm as we walked. "All hard-working and proud owner of a successful business."

"Oh, shush!" he said, smiling. "Proud, yes. Successful? We'll see."

"How long have you had it?"

"Just a couple of years… it's still pretty new."

I looked at him, interested.

"I had my unofficial workshop in La Push, very clandestine, while I worked at Sam's car dealership."

"Sam, as in…"

"Sam Uley, yes."

"Wow."

"Yeah," he said, looking down. "Emily was in love with him since they were kids, but he brushed her out… until she started dating me. We want what we can't have, right? So he realized he really liked her. One drunken night he told her and then she broke up with me. Now they're getting married. It's nice having friends."

"So you still are friends."

"He's my best friend," Jake declared. "It's not like I can blame him or her."

"The heart wants what the heart wants," I said.

"Exactly."

We walked the rest of the way in silence. I thought about our conversation, Jake's and my own words echoing in my mind.

We want what we can't have.

The heart wants what the heart wants.

A big fat 'indeed' made its way to my thoughts. I wanted to be with Edward so badly, for no other reason that it was the way I felt, but I couldn't have him forever.

I sighed lightly as Jake opened the door to the restaurant for me.

· - ·

Having a conversation with Jacob was so easy. I got lost in memories with him and our families once again, and he told me dirty jokes just to make me laugh when he sensed I was getting emotional. We touched a lot, taking our hands or arms, and for me it was a way to know he was really there. He was my best friend, and he wasn't going anywhere.

When we got back to the shop, he explained all the things he had fixed in my truck. He even got it cleaned inside and out, because "the prettiest driver needs to have the prettiest truck, even if it's an oldie." He thought he was so funny…

I stayed a little bit longer to keep him company while he worked, and I told him about Edward.

Jake stopped working under an Audi and moved to be able to look at me. "You're serious," he said, curious.

"Yes," I responded.

He stared at me for a long time, like he couldn't believe I was seeing someone. "You like that guy?"

"A lot," I stated. "And before you say anything, you should know he's a decent man, with a nice job and great family."

"Of course, that's what's got you pining for him…" he said, going back under the car.

"Well not only that; he's actually very… talented," I said, remembering that morning.

"Gross, Bella."

"What?" I asked, feeling frustrated. "It was you who asked me if I was a virgin the other day."

He laughed out loud, genuinely amused by what I'd just said. I chuckled along with him because really, it was pretty funny. Here I was telling my best friend and pseudo-brother about my sex slash love life, after seeing him for the second time in years.

"Bells," he called. "Just be careful, okay? I don't wanna see you get hurt."

"I know, Jake." I smiled fondly, although he couldn't see me.

· - ·

I left Port Angeles around three in the afternoon and got home a little over an hour later. Charlie called to tell me he was still out with Sue and he'd be in La Push having dinner, too, in case I wanted to go. I said I would think about it, but I wasn't in the mood to get in the car again.

I went up to my room and took out the recorder. I pressed the red button, and I was silent for a minute, before I knew what I wanted to say.

"Jake, I want you to know that you are one of the best things that's ever happened to me. You're like the brother I never had, and I love you. Thank you for giving me some of the best memories to part with.

"Do me a favor? Check up on Charlie for me from time to time, okay? Don't let him be sad. Talk to him like you did with me about my mother the first day we met after I came back. Remember? You're very good at cheering people up. Don't you be sad, either.

"You still need to find love, a kind woman who will treat you right and will be the one for you. You will have the cutest babies, I just know it.

"It was fun making mud pies and prank-calling random people with you."

· - ·

I wanted to get out of my house, but I wasn't going to go to La Push. Instead, I drove to the Cullens' house like a manic, anxious to see Edward again.

Esme opened the front door when I rang the bell.

"Bella, dear!" She smiled, genuinely happy to see me. I adored the woman.

"Hello, Esme," I said politely.

She ushered me inside. "Come in, come in!"

A nice, delicious smell invaded my nostrils as soon as Esme locked the door. She led me to the kitchen, where I saw she had something in the oven.

"I'm cooking dinner," she said. "You're staying, right?"

"Sure," I responded. "Where's Edward?"

"Oh, he's been working all day since you left," she responded with a knowing smile.

That surprised me. I thought she wasn't there this morning. I noticed the heat rising to my cheeks at the thought of what Edward and I did last night and this morning, with Esme in the house.

"He'll be here in a few minutes," Esme said to me in a hushed tone. "As soon as he smells dinner."

I chuckled. "It really smells good, yes."

"Would you like to help me?"

"Sure!" I loved cooking. It was my therapy when I lived in Phoenix.

· - ·

I really enjoyed spending time with Esme. She was such a caring person, and I could talk to her with honesty about anything. I didn't feel the need to hide what Edward and I had—not that she didn't know already, because apparently, he had told her.

We were sharing cooking tips when Carlisle entered the kitchen and kissed his wife. He looked tired but happy to be in her arms.

"Hey there, Bella," he greeted, smiling kindly. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm good, thank you." I returned the smile, but had to turn and occupy myself with stirring the sauce. His eyes were too penetrating, he was a doctor, and I had paranoid tendencies about my disease.

As Carlisle sat down at the kitchen table and made small talk with Esme and me while we worked side by side at the oven, someone else entered the room. I knew it was Edward right away, because he stopped, probably at the sight of me playing house with his family. I was slightly worried about what he would think of me intruding. But he surprised me by coming between Esme and me and wrapping his arms around our shoulders. Then he kissed my cheek affectionately.

"Well, hello," he said happily. "What a nice surprise."

I chanced a look at him to see if he was actually glad or annoyed instead. You can really see when someone is faking a happy face. His eyes were shining and his grin was big on his lips. I grinned back. I was really happy to see him, too. He pecked my cheek again and then kissed Esme's.

"What are my two favorite girls cooking?" he asked.

"Just a little something you will sure like," Esme responded. "Go wash your hands and help Carlisle set the table."

"Yes, ma'am."

With a last little smile directed at me, he left the room. Then I turned and saw Esme and Carlisle sharing a look.

· - ·

We had a very nice dinner. Edward and Carlisle complimented us all the time, and there were no leftovers.

Edward asked me about my truck and I told him everything was okay. He directed the conversation to Jacob, then. I caught Esme and Carlisle's worried looks, and I also remembered my first meal at the Cullens'. But Edward seemed relaxed, like he was just trying to show he didn't have a problem with me being friends with Jake anymore. Everything else went smoothly from then on.

Edward wasn't shy about showing his affection in front of his family, with little touches and caresses here and there. And although I didn't exactly enjoy their avid attention, it was nice being able to express ourselves naturally.

After dinner, Carlisle and Esme moved to the living room and Edward directed me to the library, where his piano was. As soon as he closed the door behind me, his lips were on mine. Damn, he was a good kisser.

He moaned to my mouth. "God, I've been wanting to do this since I saw you in the kitchen before."

"I've missed you, too." I chuckled softly before attacking his lips again.

We were about to get naked and fuck against the door when we heard Esme and Carlisle outside in the hall, probably going upstairs.

"It's too inappropriate to do this with them in the house," I said.

"I know," he replied, sounding not very convinced, and kissing down my neck. "I just find it hard to resist you."

Oh, fuck. I was trying really hard, too. We were panting and desperate, but the thought of getting caught or being heard by Edward's family wasn't very appealing. Still, the more he insisted in his advances, the more turned on I was.

I put my hands on both his cheeks and looked him in the eye. "They're upstairs."

"Yes," he assured me, then grinned wickedly. "Can you be quiet?"

"I'll try," I responded, breathlessly.

We ravished each other, quickly taking off our clothes and kissing frantically. When we were completely naked, he turned me to face the door and I put my hands on it. He gently grabbed my hips and brushed himself against my "attractive derriere," as he put it. I was really containing myself from moaning like a porn star, and the fact that I had to be quiet made it even more exciting.

Edward pressed his delicious body against my back as he drew circles on my clit with his fingers. Those fingers.

"I think you're ready," he whispered in my ear. "Are you ready?"

I could only nod in affirmative before he entered me in one quick thrust. A whimper was inevitable. He felt too good, and when he lifted one of my legs up, I knew I wouldn't last long. He kept pounding into me, with one arm supporting my leg and the other around my breasts, gasping and panting to my ear. He was a god. The god of all gods. I was being thoroughly fucked by Zeus. And my mind was going totally insane.

After a few more thrusts, I came and saw stars. I literally started seeing tiny bright dots, and I had to close my eyes. But Edward kept going until he found his release, and I whimpered when I felt myself climax again, though not as hard as before. That had never happened to me!

When Edward let go of my leg, I couldn't even stand. He grabbed me and made me sit on his lap, on the chair that was next to one of the bookshelves. He brushed my hair away from my shoulder and rested his head there while embracing me.

"You're so fantastic," he said, sighing. "I want to keep you here forever."

I chuckled. "That's called sex slavery."

"No," he said, squeezing me. "You know what I mean."

"I do."

We smiled goofily at each other. I knew he didn't catch up on the meaning I gave to those words, but in my mind I knew I would always be with him, even if I couldn't be there physically.

We quickly got dressed and spent the rest of the night at the piano. He didn't want to show me his new compositions, but I parted that night with his promise that I'd be the first to listen to them when they were finished.

Edward didn't want me to go, but I felt like I had to. I didn't want to get too emotional with him, like I knew I was starting to. I wanted to keep our romance as light as possible.

That was one of the reasons why I knew what I had to do the next day.

· - ·

June 28th—Saturday

"Saint Joseph's Hospital and Medical Center, how can I help you?"

"Good morning. I'm Isabella Swan, and I'd like to speak with Dr. Laurent Maunier, please." I said, feeling nauseous from the nerves.

"Are you a patient of his, Miss?"

"Yes, I am."

"One moment, please."

There was a pause and then generic hold music started playing on my receiver before I heard a click and it stopped.

"Hello?"

"Dr. Maunier?"

"Speaking," he responded, sounding slightly worried. "Is this Bella?"

He remembered me.

"Can I ask you for a favor?"

· - ·

So we're the best in Europe! See you next Friday.