"Sometimes I have the strangest feeling about you. Especially when you are near me as you are now. It feels as though I had a string tied here under my left rib where my heart is, tightly knotted to you in a similar fashion. And when you go, with all that distance between us, I am afraid that this cord will be snapped, and I shall bleed inwardly."

- Jane Eyre

Separation

A/N This chapter is a bit different, there will be Steve whump though, if that helps, I tried to put the passing of quite some time all in one chap. Hope it's not to bad, enjoy! Also I hate the title, any suggestions?

It had been two months since she'd last seen him. Two months since she'd found out that he was dating someone. To her knowledge none of five-0 had been to the hospital in that time, and she was grateful for that in many ways. But she knew it wouldn't last...

Andrea walked quickly down the white halls of the hospital dodging nurses and patients. Upon hearing that someone from five-0 had been exposed to sarin gas, she had to know. She rounded a corner nearly running into Maria.

"Hey, I was just coming to find you-"

"Someone on five-0 was exposed to sarin." She answered briskly trying to get around her.

"I know," She grabbed onto her arm stopping her."It's not McGarrett, its his partner, Detective Williams."

Andrea felt some relief at the news, yes she was glad that the Commander was ok, but Danny...

"He's stable, they figured it out in time."

Andrea sagged against the wall, tears of further relief threatening to fall.

"What room is he in? Do you know?" She asked softly.

"208, you sure you want to-"

"I just want to check." She said walking away before Maria could speak further.

She approached the room slowly glancing around for McGarrett or any other five-0 members. Seeing none, she peeked in the room.

It was just Danny, and he looked terrible. For a moment she just stood there, resisting the urge to walk in and check his chart. She trusted that the other doctors were taking good care of him, but Danny had become a friend and it was very hard not to.

Sighing softly she made a mental note to keep her own tabs on him before turning, and nearly running into McGarrett.

She froze, he froze, and for a moment they just stared at each other.

Her throat felt tight, but she managed a short."Commander." Before starting away.

"Wait-" She felt a hand on her arm and stopped reluctantly turning.

His blue eyes were full of worry and something else she couldn't quite identify.

"Is he-do you know how he is?" He asked.

She glanced at Danny through the window to the room, before reluctantly meeting his gaze once more."Stable, improving, he should be fine."

He let go of her arm relief making his shoulders sag slightly."Great, thanks." The words were soft full of meaning.

She nodded. Silence followed and she felt the awkwardness increase. She needed to get away.

"I really need to-"

"Listen I want-"

They spoke at the same time ultimately stopping and staring once more.

"Sorry, I've just gotta-" Andrea found herself apologizing when his phone rang. Relief came over her like a tidal wave. The timing couldn't be more perfect.

He looked sorry as he answered the phone, features suddenly turning serious as he listened.

Andrea found herself hesitating before reluctantly turning away.

She'd never get over the man if they kept running into each other.

Over the next week she'd made a point to ask Maria if the Commander was with Danny before checking on the Detective. He improved quickly, not seeming to notice that she was pointedly avoiding his partner.

She was glad he never asked.

When it came time for him to leave she stood in the background, watching as McGarrett accompanied him out of the hospital.

Her heart still ached.

*5-0*

Three months went by before she heard word about five-0 again, and the news wasn't good.

Literally she'd heard it all from the news, sitting on her couch relaxing with Koa on her lap. Now she stared in disbelief at the screen of her TV.

McGarrett had been arrested.

McGarrett had been arrested for murdering the governor, and now five-0 might be disbanded. Even Kono was in police custody, for what she didn't know, reporters had yet to find out more.

It all seemed so, surreal, she found it hard to believe.

impossible actually, she didn't, couldn't believe that McGarrett had done this. He was a good man, she'd seen how he'd acted when he'd brought in an injured Danny. He was compassionate...but he was also deliberate.

There had to be a reason why, something else had to have happened, the cops just hadn't seen it yet...

She continued to stare at the screen as they brought up a picture of McGarrett.

No, the Commander hadn't done this...

They were wrong, they had to be...

*5-0*

It took a week for the damned cops to figure out that McGarrett had not killed the governor. It also apparently took the Commander escaping from prison for them to figure it out.

She heard it all from the news again, and a few tidbits from Maria when she was working.

Now she sat in the break room debating on whether or not to go see him. He'd been stabbed, apparently, in prison which was how he had escaped.

The idiot had somehow gotten away from the ambulance.

Maria was once again the one who'd told her he was here at the hospital.

"Think I heard him complain to Williams that he was fine, but the detective seemed to insist that he get looked at again." Maria had explained.

Andrea bounced her foot up and down, vaguely wondering who McGarrett had went to for help in the first place. Part of her wished he had come to her...

She sighed heavily rising to her feet. Danny had apparently thought it required another opinion, so whoever had helped him had just patched him up.

Andrea started pacing.

This was not like her, she'd never acted like this when she'd dated other men but...McGarrett was somehow, different, and they weren't even dating!

She found herself leaving the room and heading towards the ER. If McGarrett was anywhere, it was there. She had, needed, to know how he was, that he was ok.

Her pace slowed considerably as she started towards the nurses desk suddenly unsure if she should do this. However she instead found herself asking.

"Janine, can you tell me which exam room Commander McGarrett is in?"

The older woman glanced up at her but didn't answer typing away at her computer. Andrea hesitated wondering if the woman would answer, she probably knew she was on her break but...

"He's been admitted, got an infection, room 203."

Andrea's heart plummeted. Infection? Her feet were already moving, carrying her quickly away.

Only McGarrett would get an infection.

*5-0*

Dr. Tolsen was treating the Commander, a fact she ignored as she grabbed McGarrett's chart from the end of his bed.

He was sleeping, a light sheen of sweat on his brow. She grimaced at the numbers.

Temperature of 103.

"You never do anything half-assed do you." She muttered sadly, looking back up at him.

"That's McGarrett for you."

She practically jumped out of her shoes at the sound of a some what familiar voice behind her. Turning she immediately recognized Chin Ho Kelly, a member of McGarrett's team, whom she'd met a few months back.

Honestly, she'd been expecting Danny. She was glad it wasn't.

"Long time no see doc." He said with a half smile.

Andrea looked back at McGarrett."Been busy." She muttered.

"We all have, how's he doing?" Chin asked moving closer to McGarrett's bed.

"Fever of 103, they've got him on antibiotics, hopefully it'll clear up within the night." She replied glancing once more over the chart. Silence followed as she replaced the chart and Chin seemed to be studying McGarrett.

"I thought for sure this was it, for all of us." He muttered and she stiffened at the declaration.

She hesitated before speaking."I never believed he did it."

He looked up at her meeting her gaze."Nether did I."

Andrea resisted the urge to ask what had happened, she knew she wouldn't get the full details and didn't see the point. Actually the point was, McGarrett was alive and while not exactly well, he was alive, and that for the moment was enough for her.

"Would you mind keeping an eye on him for us?" The sudden question had her looking at him curiously."It's not that we don't trust Dr. Tolsen-"

"Of corse." Andrea found herself speaking before she could stop herself. Damn, so much for keeping away from him.

Chin nodded looking greatfull."He trust's you, so do we, thanks."

Andrea blinked. McGarrett trusted her? They trusted her? Not that she wasn't grateful and really not that they shouldn't, but trust was not something that was given lightly. Her chest filled with warmth at the admission.

"It's my job." She found herself muttering, feeling oddly like she didn't deserve this.

"You've done more for him and Danny then any doctor they've ever seen, you care, and we really appreciate that. And though Steve won't admit it, so does he." Chin's words were soft, full of meaning, Andrea understood why McGarrett had him on his team.

She blinked back tears, her emotions suddenly rising.

"I gotta get going,"She looked over at him seeing he had taken out his phone."Keep us posted?"

"Always." She said, throat oddly tight.

He smiled gratefully at her before quietly leaving the room, and suddenly she was alone with an unconsious McGarrett. Oddly, she couldn't bring herself to leave. Another glance at his chart told her that a nurse wouldn't be by for another twenty minutes.

Sighing, she moved to take a set in one of the uncomfortable chairs. Vagely she recalled the time when Danny had been in the hospital with a concussion, it had been the first time she'd treated the detective. Then she'd just wanted to try and be friends with McGarrett but now...

She sighed placing her chin in one hand as she continued to watch the Commander sleep. How long she sat there she didn't know, but it must not have been long because the nurse hadn't come yet when McGarrett started to stir.

Andrea stiffind sitting up a little in her seat to get a better view of his face. His brow was furrowed and he mumbled something she couldn't make out. When his head started thrashing from side to side she found herself getting to her feet and approaching the bed.

There was no doubt that he was in the throes of a fever induced dream. She gripped the railing of the bed, unsure of what to do. He continued to mumble incoherently but it was the pinched look on his face that worried her most. Was he in pain?

"Commander?" She said softly.

No response.

"Commander?" A little louder and to her surprise he stilled. It didn't last long though, and he mumbled something that sounded suspiciously like 'dad' head turning away from her.

Heart clenching in her chest, she reached out slowly and tentatively touched his shoulder."McGarrett," She said, gripping lightly. Again he stilled. "Commander, you're having a nightmare." An didn't know what else to say, she just felt the need to speak.

The heat seemed to seep through his hospital gown, making her frown in sympathy."You're in the hospital," She continued softly."You're safe." With what she'd heard had happened that day, she felt it needed to be said.

Again he stilled, but his face was towards her and she stiffened when his eyes opened just a little. For a moment there was silence and they just stared at each other. Andrea was sure her pounding heart filled the silence save for the heart monitor.

"Ross." He croaked softly, and tears pricked at her eyes. There was pain yet she could hear the underlying relief.

"Y-Yeah, it's me." She muttered.

Her emotions suddenly got the best of her, and she removed her hand from his shoulder, placing it on his forehead.

"To, long" He slurred seeming to lean into the touch, she frowned.

"What-"

" `aven't seen you." Her heart hitched again, and she found herself smiling almost sadly.

"Been busy." Gently, she wiped the dark hair that stuck to his forehead away. He blinked slowly. As if suddenly realizing what she was doing embarrassment and an awkwardness settled over her, and she pulled her hand away. What was she doing? McGarrett had a girlfriend!

"I'm, gonna go find your doctor." She stammered trying to find an excuse, though part of her desperately wanted to stay.

As she made to turn away though, she soon found that it really wasn't her decision. He'd grabbed onto her wrist, and she stilled under the touch.

Looking back her eyes met his once more and she was surprised by the, desperation, she saw there. "Stay." He muttered softly.

Silence once more filled the room as she battled inwardly with herself. She knew she shouldn't but..."Ok, I'll stay."

It may have just been her imagination, but she swore that he smiled ever so slightly, before drifting off again, hand slipping from around her wrist.

She stayed close for a moment longer before stepping back, just in time to because the nurse came in at that moment.

*5-0*

She stayed, untill his fever broke, shushing and muttering reassurances when a nightmare seemed to be taking hold. He didn't speak again, at least, not to her.

His fever broke around six am. Now sleeping peacefully, she reluctantly left the room, heading towards a restroom. Her thoughts raced even dead on her feet as she was, her emotions a turbulent storm, nearly choking her.

She wished she could-no, she had to come to terms with the facts, nothing was ever going to happen between them...by the time she reached the bathroom she was already crying, the emotional upheaval taking its toll in choked sobs.

This was a hell of a lot harder then she thought it would be...

*5-0*

"He's doing much better," Three hours, one emotional upheaval and a thirty minute nap later, she was on the phone with Danny. A recent case prevented the Commanders partner from coming down in person, which obviously irritated the detective.

"His fever broke early this morning."

'Numskull said he was fine right before he practically passed out on me.' Andrea closed her eyes at the revelation, irritated and slightly amused although morbidly so.

"Sounds like him." She muttered.

'I'll try to stop by later.'

There was a pause, to the point where Andrea wondered if Danny had hung up.

"Dan-"

'Have you talked to him?'

"He was kind of out of it." She muttered biting back a sigh.

Another pause. "So, no talking, than."

She pursed her lips brow furrowing. What was the detective getting at?

"No, not really, what are you-"

"An!" She jerked at the sound of her name turning to face Maria. "We need you, car accident, three vehicles involved."

This time she really did sigh. Was there no rest for the weary?

"I've gotta go."

'You really should talk to him.' Danny insisted and her frown deepened.

"Ok, I'll try." She said, but deep down, she knew she wouldn't. "I'll see you around Danny."

Another long pause, then.'Yeah, bye.' Was it just her or did he sound, reluctant? Hanging up she quickly made her way to the ER.

She wouldn't talk to McGarrett because, she knew what he was going to say. There was no point in hearing, 'I have a girlfriend' when she already knew.

Later, even now actually although more so later on, she knew she was being a tad irrational, jumping to conclusions and all. But, when trying to protect your heart...

Firmly locking the feelings away she focused in on the job. No, it was better for the both of them if they never spoke again.

A/N Oooh why do you think Danny wanted An to talk to Steve so much? Leave a review and keep an eye out for the three part story to come to find out!

~Fire