Sara was never jealous. In junior high, when her "boyfriend" dumped her for another girl, she merely shrugged. In high school, when her friends made plans on a Friday night to go out and didn't invite her, she sighed happily and played guitar in her room. Even when Jack, her husband of seven years, cheated on her countless of times throughout their relationship, she wasn't jealous. She was angry and disappointed at her husband, but never jealous. She never looked at the other women (she had walked into her husband being unfaithful a few times) and wished to know what made the other women so great and undeniable. She simply wasn't jealous. But watching this Lindsey woman walk up slowly to her girlfriend of two days and stand in front of Tegan, well- she was jealous. Sara took Tegan's hand in between hers and squeezed tightly. She felt like she needed to be in a defensive stand, ready to pounce if the moment came.
Lindsey's eyes traveled to their connected hands and the short woman frowned.
"Wow, looks like you moved on pretty quick", she muttered. Her arms crossed and she looked at Tegan, waiting for some clarification.
The musician scoffed. "It's been over a year and I have every right to move on- you left me for dick, remember? And I'm so glad you did, because then I wouldn't have Sara", she signaled at their linked hands. "Now, I'll ask again. What the hell are you doing here?"
A few silent moments passed, as if Lindsey was trying to process information that was not new to her. The third part sighed and shook her head.
"Tegan, you have to believe me when I say that I did love you. I'm sorry that we ended up like this- you were a careful and loving partner. I was the ungrateful one. If I could go back and stop myself, I would but I can't and I lost the most important person in my life. I'm sorry, Tegan, I am so sorry."
Sara's heart turned violently inside of her chest and fear rattled her bones. Was Lindsey asking for Tegan to take her back? Was Tegan going to take her back? A thousand thoughts flew through her head all at once, giving Sara a budding headache. She felt like she was intruding, all of the sudden. Like she was not supposed to be there. She loosened her grip on Tegan's hand, feeling like she should escape. Before she completely let go of the hand, she felt her girlfriend grasp onto her hand tightly. Tegan turned to Sara and met her eyes. No, she said, you're staying with me.
"Lindsey", she said turning back to look at the older woman, "I know all of this. But I don't like you being here. And I thought that you gave me your key when you left. So, imagine the shock that I get coming home knowing that there's someone in here and that person is the woman who cheated on me the whole six years that we were together? Not a fun day. Now, what the fuck are you doing here?" Tegan's voice came out as calm and collected. Sara wondered how she did it.
Lindsey's hands ran through her own hair. "I came to get the old, film cameras that I left here. They should be in the upstairs spare room, somewhere in the closet. I need them for a new job that I'll be starting soon."
Tegan nodded and hugged Sara quickly, whispering "I'll be right back" in her ear softly. Sara nodded and smiled when Tegan kissed her lips softly, also smiling. The older one walked around the hallway and her footsteps could be heard as she made her way up the stairs.
The tension in the kitchen was thick. Sara didn't want to be there with her girlfriend's ex. It just didn't seem like her cup of tea. She quickly made her way into the refrigerator and pulled out a beer, needing a drink. She would rather have wine but a beer seemed more appropriate for the situation. She rested the neck of the bottle on the marble counter and pulled down, the cap snapping off with a loud 'pop'. Sara turned around and leaned against the counter, taking a sip from the bottle.
"So, you're with Tegan?", Lindsey's voice sounded surprisingly small. She looked almost afraid of Sara. Was Lindsey intimidated by Sara's presence?
Sara drank another sip of her beer and set it down on the counter. She nodded, "yes, I am." She didn't add anything else after, waiting to see where Lindsey wanted to take this.
The woman's shoulders slumped down noticeably and she sighed. She looked in thought, and opened her mouth a little while later.
"Just... Just take care of her, please. Don't let her go. I was such a fool... Just love her the way I wasn't able to." She quietly said.
Sara was not expecting that, not none bit. Never in a thousand years did she think she would be where she is right now. It was all too much all of the sudden and she wanted Lindsey gone so that she could crawl her way back into Tegan's embrace. So Sara took another large sip of her beer and kept quiet, choosing not to say anything else.
A short moment later, Tegan walked through the kitchen doorway, huffing as she carried what seemed a large box full of older, worn down film cameras. She walked to Lindsey and handed the box to her ex, sighing tiredly.
"They were in the study's closet, not the guest room. But if that's all you need, I have a date with my girl here that I would like to get started", Tegan explained. She looked annoyed, almost desperate for Lindsey to leave.
The photographer nodded and started walking towards the front of the house. Sara felt like she could breathe without the poisonous aura in the room.
"Lindsey", Tegan's voice called out.
Sara's heart thumped loudly.
"Yes?", Lindsey answered quietly.
"Give me your key. I don't ever want to see you around here again", Tegan declared. The older woman set the box down on the floor and walked back to Tegan. Her hand reached into her back pocket and pulled out her keys, quickly finding the house key and removing it from the keychain. She handed it to Tegan, not able to make eye contact.
Tegan turned to Sara and sighed, leaning in the counter and looking out the window. A short moment later, they heard the front door shut but no one said anything. Sara looked over at her girlfriend, cautiously, and frowned. Tegan looked deep in thought, like she was upset. Her eyes were glosses over and she looked emotionless, almost dead. Was she upset that Sara was there? Was Sara not supposed to witness Tegan like this? It terrified Sara that the woman took the visit from Lindsey to such an extent, putting her in such a bad place. She feared that the woman next to her was not over her ex. Taking a big breath, Sara made her decision.
"I think I should go," the younger one muttered. This took Tegan by surprise and she turned around, confusion and fear clearly written across her face.
"W-what? No, please-"
"Tegan, you seem confused as to what you wa-"
"No, please don't do this Sara! Please don't leave me because I don't want to be alone in this big house by myself. Please don't leave me like she did- I barely made it out alive the last time and if you leave", her voice cracked as tears pooled in her eyes, "if you leave I'll never be able to breathe again. I'm not upset because she left me, I'm letting my imagination run wild. I'm thinking that I will never let myself live if I let you go. Sara, baby don't leave me. Don't... Please trust me when I say that I want you and everything about you and only you, Sara Clement. P-please." The last word was a whispered sob, tears ready falling down her face.
Sara's heart broke at the sight in front of her and she couldn't hold it in anymore. Quickly, she wrapped her arms around Tegan's shaking shoulders, kissing the top of her head.
"I'm here, I'm not going anywhere. Please, I'm sorry, it's okay", she whispered into her girlfriend's ear. The older one could only hug Sara's torso to her tighter, keeping her in place.
"I l-love you", she cried into Sara's neck. Once Sara whispered it back, Tegan cried harder.
"It was a Sunday night. The band was on break from touring for a week, we were three-quarters of the way done with Sainthood's touring cycle. A few more months and I would be home to write a new album. I told Lindsey that I was staying at New Orleans with the band for the week, but I really had booked a flight to visit her", the older one spoke. After calming Tegan down from the hard sobbing, they slowly walked up to the bed where they switched into pajamas and sat on the bed. Their backs rested against the headboard, Sara paying an intense amount of attention to Tegan talk.
The older one took a breath, continuing. "There was this moment in which I knew what was going to happen. I usually get them before I go on stage, I'll know if I'll have a good show, or pop a string halfway through the song. I don't know how but it just happens. But I opened the front door to my house and take off my shoes and notice another pair that I've never seen there before. A bigger pair, a man's pair", she breathed out.
Sara's hand softly rubbed Tegan's back, trying to offer some comfort.
"Tegan, you don't have to do this. It's alright, love. You don't need to revisit that place", she tried to tell the woman. She didn't want to see Tegan in pain again, she just couldn't.
"No", Tegan shook her head. "We have both suffered heartache. You've touched on yours, and I don't expect us to live the rest of our lives together if I am not completely honest with you. And I want us to be together, Sara, for as long as we can", Tegan explained calmly. Her hand held the one that was once rubbing her back not too long ago and grasped it tightly. She gave Sara a teary smile, her heart beating loudly in her chest.
A big breath and Tegan's chin pointed to the ceiling. Her eyes closed and she began to talk again.
"So, I stare at a pair of men's shoes, my jacket is still on and I forget about taking my shoes off completely. I slowly walked up the stairs and see a blouse- Lindsey's, on the floor. And more and more clothes. Then I hear them- very feminine moan that I recognized as Lindsey's and then a groan. Making my way ever so slowly, I walked up to the guest room and saw them, my girlfriend of six years riding a man like her life depended on it. She screamed when she came, and as her head leaned back, she caught me. The next few minutes all are a blur. I can't exactly remember when or how- the guy left and she cried, apologizing over and over again. I asked and she answered. Apparently, me touring made it really easy for her to meet up and have affairs with men. Plural. All six years, since the very beginning. So that's that, that's the story behind Lindsey. She picked up her things a week later and we screamed at each other the whole time she was here."
Sara sighed, knowing to an extent what Tegan had gone through. The grip on her hand tightened, and she squeezed back, holding on for dear life.
"I cried for days straight, not eating or drinking. Once I finally stopped, I threw away my bed. A three-thousand dollar bed, that took me years to get. My mom came and visited me, she stayed for almost a month to make sure that I was okay. And for a while, I was. But this house.. It's so big. Too big. And I was so alone. It became a mess- it took me by surprise that one person could make such a mess. That's why I needed someone to help me around- I drove everything I had into music and neglected every other aspect of my life. And then, you came", she whispered the last part.
Sara had tears silently running down her face. She was devastated that the love of her life had gone through so much pain but so elated that it got Tegan to meet Sara.
"Meeting you", her voice cracked, "was the single, most amazing thing that could've happened to me. It was like coming up for fresh air. I was numb for the longest time, like I wasn't plugged in. And then you smiled..." Tears spilled down her face as she cracked a smile. "You smiled at me and its as if I was alive for the first time. You plugged me in and I played music again. What Lindsey did to me was awful. What Jack did to you- that's unimaginable. But we found each other, Sara." Tegan's linked hand with Sara's made its way to her chest. "My heart, Sara Clement, you healed me. You bring me life and happiness that I thought was unreachable."
The younger woman was speechless. How did someone follow that up? She couldn't. So she simply let go of Tegan's hand and wrapped her arms tightly around the woman's shoulders, straddling her and holding her tight. No words were needed at a moment like this.
Tegan pulled back from the embrace and lifted Sara's right hand, kissing over the knuckles. Her kisses ghosted higher, kissing the six lines on the wrist and the long purple scar on her forearm. She looked up and saw her girlfriend looking at her with glossy eyes, so she trailed her kisses higher- around her bicep, onto her shoulder and collarbones. Soon enough, she sucked on her pulse joint, drawing a groan from the woman on top of her. She felt Sara grind her hips on hers and that pushed her. Leaning back, she pulled Sara's shirt over her head, pulling her own right after. She pushed their torsos together and groaned as their mouths met in a sloppy, wet kiss.
Sara's wet tongue reached to meet Tegan's, moaning when the slick muscles danced together. Tegan's grip on the body above hers tightened, their nipples kissing roughy. The sounds of heavy breathing could be heard in the room, the women desperate to get closer. Their hips moved to get any sort of relief, grinding in a delicious, slow and needy motion.
Tegan broke their kiss first, immediately attacking the woman's sharp jaw with nips and licks, her hands softly massaging Sara's heavy breast. When her fingers toyed with the hard nipples, Sara threw her head back.
"Oh fuck, Tegan", she gasped. Her chin pointed to the ceiling and her eyes closed, obviously lost in all the feelings running through her body. One of her hands flew to Tegan's hair, pulling at the messy waves and the other groped the other woman's breast, drawing a groan from the older of the two.
Tegan pushed Sara on her back and climbed on top of her. There was a moment in which they just stared at each other, breathing heavily before they met in a lustful kiss. Tegan kissed Sara roughly. It was a needy kiss, depriving them of air and bringing them to life all at once. Tegan right hand slowly drifted down, tweaking Sara's nipple and making its way south, dipping under the hem of Sara's shorts and into the pool that awaited her.
Breaking the kiss, Tegan nipped at the spot under Sara's ear. "Fuck, baby", she rasped, "you're so wet. Is this all for me?"
Sara only managed to nod as Tegan's digits drew sharp circles on her clit, her own hips bucking at the sensation. Tegan withdrew her hand and made eye contact with Sara as she put it up against her own lips and took in her digits, moaning at the taste of Sara. After cleaning her fingers thoroughly, she sat back on her knees and peeled Sara's damp shorts off of her.
Looking at the woman in front of her, dripping wet, she made eye contact and touched her own breasts.
"Touch yourself, Sara", she rasped. Her own hand dipped into her shorts and circled her clit tightly. Her thighs trapped her own hand in and added much needed pressure. Her free hand reached and opened Sara's thighs, giving her a perfect view of her girlfriend's dripping wet cunt. The younger woman moaned at the sight in front of her. She bypassed all foreplay and reached in between her thighs, moaning loudly as she rubbed herself quickly.
Heat coursed through their bodies, working themselves closer and closer. Panting was heard, mainly from Sara. Tegan tried to maintain the eye contact but it was hard to do so. Her fingers reached lower and dipped into the pool of her own fluids, and bringing the soaked fingers against her clit once more. She looked over at Sara through glossy eyes and groaned, her eyes on the breasts in front of her.
Once Sara's hand gripped the duvet under them, Tegan knew she was close. With much hesitation, she withdrew her hand from the inside of her thighs and pulled down her shorts, leaving her naked. She quickly grabbed Sara's moving hand and brought it up to her mouth, sucking and licking the fingers clean.
Looking at the woman laying naked and spread out before her, Tegan gripped the younger women's thighs and spread them as wide as they could go. Sara looked at her girlfriend with curiosity, wondering what the hell she was doing. It became pretty clear what she had in mind the moment that Tegan straddled her open legs, their mounds just inches from each other.
"T-Tegan...?", she asked cautiously. The older woman kissed Sara's left ankle, nipping it roughly and licked the area to soothe her. They both breathed heavily, taking a moment to adjust to the new position. The older woman's mouth was still connected to Sara's thin ankle. Looking at Sara in the eyes, the older woman grinded down, their cores meeting in a wet kiss.
"Oh, fuck!", Sara's head snapped back. Their connection was hot and sloppy. Her own hips moved up to get more friction, her eyes closing and her mouth opening to try and give her lungs some oxygen. Her face felt hot, as if fire was running through her body.
Tegan's eyes closed but opened back up, not wanting to miss this moment. She wanted to record the image before her, Sara's face scrunched up in pleasure and desperation, her cheeks flushed and heaving chest. The musician gripped her girlfriend's legs right under the bent knees and grinded down again, pleasure traveling through her body in waves. She did it again. And again.
"You f-feel so good... Fuck what're you doing to me Tegan!?", the younger one of them gasped out. One of her hands gripped the duvet tightly and the other twisted one of her nipples, making herself groan. The older felt entranced by the view and set a hard and fast rhythm, grinding quickly on her girlfriend's mound.
"F-fuck, do you feel me, baby? Do you feel me making love to you?", the older rasped with a hard thrust. Her breathing was choppy, their movement getting faster. Sara's hips raised to meet Tegan's, the woman overtaken by the pleasure she was receiving. She grunted when she felt herself get closer to the edge, her hand flying out and gripping onto Tegan's flexed bicep.
"Baby come with me", she groaned out from under Tegan.
"S-Sara I l-love- mmm, I love you", her voice was raspy and deep, a moan breaking her sentence. Her lips were pursed, jaw clenched tightly and her eyes strained on Sara's face. The younger woman nodded, eyes opening and catching her girlfriend's. Sara's breath caught in her throat as she came, her back arching off the bed as Tegan's caved in over her.
Tegan moaned loudly, her hands tugging at Sara's hair almost harshly. Her hips pounded on Sara's, riding their orgasm to their full extent.
"T-Tegan! Oh, Tegan!", Sara yelled, her hands scratching the older woman's thighs. Her orgasm was on a new level, taken her higher than she had ever been before. She felt like she was exploding from the sensation, grinding up on Tegan's core. She felt herself come to the full weight of her orgasm and a loud splashing noise was heard in between the groans and gasps that were expelled from the couple. She collapsed on the bed, hips finally stilling and mouth open to catch her breath.
Tegan's body laid on top of her girlfriend's, her heart beating loudly inside of her chest. Her hands mindlessly worked themselves through Sara's hair, working the tangles out. She kissed Sara's neck softly, trailing the kisses up to her cheeks and pecked her lover's lips softly. She felt a shiver run up her body and she nuzzled into Sara's neck.
"Baby", she began. Her fingertips frisked down to Sara's abdomen and felt her fingers moisten at the wetness that was found there. "Baby, you squirted", she said, almost astonished at the fact.
Sara's cheeks flared up red instantly, her hands coming up to hide her face. "W-what? I did?"
Tegan kissed her cheek softly, nodding into her heated face. "Mmhmm."
A silent moment later and Sara spoke up.
"I love you too, by the way."