Alright I kno you guys are all like WTF just happened! But stick with it cus have no fear O'riley is here! Lol bad joke. But still don't think you've seen zhe last of our imperial majesty The Czar of all Russia's, Pavel Andreievich!

Chapter 10: Echoes of Death

"The only constant in this world seems to be the world itself. I can't change that. No one can. I may not believe in god but I do believe in Fate." I took a shaky breath. Quite aware that tears had begun to stream down my face, I continued, "I'm not afraid of death. I'm afraid of what happens in life. I know he's not coming back, and I can accept it, happily, knowing he's not going to suffer where he is. I miss him so much already. I know everyone does. I only know realize I really love him. Those were his final words to me. 'I love you.'"

I closed my eyes for a second, feeling rather faint.

"So I'm glad all of you came. Even if you didn't know him."

I stepped down, unable to think clearly anymore and walked away, the last notes of 'Amazing Grace' ringing in my head.

It seemed cruel that I was now able to see Russia, under such circumstances. I barely saw anything in front of me.

Seeing Pavels parents is what really killed me. They were so quiet. When his mother saw me, she came to me and gave me a hug, something my own mother probably wouldn't have done.

"He was waiting you know," His father Andrei had told me earlier that day. His accent was on there in the form of a ghost, showing he had lost it throughout their various travels. "He knew you loved him but he was waiting for you to realize it. Once you did, he was going to propose." That made me cry. To make it worse/better (because I just couldn't differentiate anymore) He handed me a beautiful ring, with a small starburst diamond surrounded by beautiful sapphires in a seemingly endless twirl of pretty blues and purples.

I smiled for a brief minute, slipping the ring on my ring finger. I considered myself a widow.

So now I walked the empty streets of St. Petersburg alone, looking at my ring in the light and wishing he had asked. I had never really considered marriage. In Star Fleet such a thing seemed so unimportant, so impossible.

It seemed I was suddenly thrown back into the whirlwind wind of my thoughts. I saw the fight again. The battle that had taken the one I loved. I saw him get hurt, felt it the dagger pierce my own skin felt the pain as if I was the one who had bled to death from the wound. I screamed, but no sound came. I was silenced.

I woke in darkness. There were people around me, as I could hear them breath. I felt pressure on my neck. Someone was taking my pulse.

"I think she's awake," I heard Becky whisper.

"Why can't I move?" I asked.

"I don't know…" McCoy answered somewhere above me. The shrill sound of the medical tricorder made me think, does he carry that everywhere? Apparently he did.

"Damn." McCoy said under his breath.

"I'm cold." I whispered, racked by the cool air of Russia in fall. Several people piled jackets on me. I still didn't warm up. I felt like someone had thrown ice water on me.

I felt someone pick me up. I couldn't struggle. I knew it was Kirk; he always did things like this.

"I'm fine…put me down." I said struggling to breath. The air felt like solid ice in my lungs.

"No, you're not. We found you passed out in the snow. You haven't been eating have you?" He asked.

"No. Not at all." I had been drinking though. A lot. Once or twice I almost felt so bad I considered seeing the doctor. I didn't though. I wanted to suffer.

"Mild heart attack. Probably caused by stress." McCoy sighed. "You're coming back to the ship. I'm gonna have to monitor you for a while, make sure this doesn't happen again."

"I feel funny." Before anyone could even anticipate it I blacked out again.

I woke again in Sickbay. Becky sat beside me, holding my left hand up to her eyes as she studied my ring.

I pulled my hand from her grip weakly.

"Hey. You're awake!" She exclaimed. I winced.

"Not so loud…"

"Sorry." She called McCoy in.

He checked my eyes and asked me to wiggle my toes and fingers. He seemed satisfied.

"What happened?" I asked. I yawned loudly.

"Nothing much. You just passed out from exhaustion is all."

"He lightly touched my finger tips with a pin, asking if I could feel it. I could. He also noticed my ring and asked quietly, "Were you engaged?"

"Yes." I told him. I didn't consider it a lie. My eyes were dried up. I couldn't cry anymore. I wouldn't cry. Not about that.

One week later…

Becky knocked lightly on my door. "Hey…"

"Hi." I said barely audible.

"Look, I'm cut right to the chase. I don't think you should leave."

"I can't do this anymore, okay? I'm sick of all this… I'm surrounded by him."

I sighed shakily, touching the ring his father had given me. "I'm going back to Earth. I'll do something simple. I'll just be an artist teacher like my mom wanted."

"Wait. I know this sounds stupid but, you really need to talk about this."

"I'm leaving that's final—."

"Not that."

I knew what she meant. So I told her about him. About everything I knew of him, his home, his life. Everything.

And that's when I realized.

There's more then one way to solve a puzzle. I just had to rearrange the stickers.

I got up, and unburied an old file on my PADD.

'The Kinatchi are creatures that exist on all seven planes and in all time periods,'

I read from the debriefing file.

"Becky. Your dad. He was an Ambassador right? What was he working on before he was killed?"

"I don't know… it was something about trade routes. They were talking about away to get to the planet the Vulcans were re-colonizing without passing through… the romulan borders…" Becky gasped.

You think that they killed my father so he wouldn't come up with a solution?"

"No," I said, a giant headache beginning to form. "They killed him because he knew that T'Shan wasn't a Vulcan. They killed him because he knew the romulans had a secret…but what was the secret?"

"There must be something…" I brought up a small display of the quadrant in space onto my PADD.

"I remember my dad telling me lots of weird things happened when he was away."

"Like what?"

"They had to do a lot of detours because there were a lot of romulans patrolling."

I continued, looking for a large enough space that could hide a planet a star, a ship, anything.

"Bingo."

I rubbed my temples harshly, trying to make the sharp throb disappear.

"We need to go here."

Becky was silent while she studied the coordinates. "If I can convince Kirk this is where we need to go will you promise not to resign?"

I twirled the ring on my finger. "Yes." I sighed. "I gotta get ready. My shift starts in 10 minutes."

"I thought you wanted to take off a month?" Becky asked as she got up and walked to the door.

I shook my head. "Why bother? It's better if I keep distracted."

I got ready slowly, thinking most of the time. In fact it was a second before I noticed I had my right boot on my left foot. I switched it, and walked out the door, just on time. I didn't bother putting my hair up. This way if I started to cry on the Bridge I could easily hide my face.

I had maybe 2 minutes to go to Sickbay to get something for my headache, then I would late any time after that.

"I need something for my headache. Quick." I told McCoy, tapping my foot against the floor, anxious to get out of here. Not because I didn't want to be late, more like because I couldn't stand being in a place like this so soon after…

"Didn't think you were gonna go back to work so soon." He drawled, taking his dandy time getting the pill.

"It's better than moping in a corner, cutting my wrists," I retorted. My headache made me rather touchy; I wasn't in the mood for this.

"I agree." He handed me two of the small white tablets and a cup of water.

I took them, drained the water, said my quick thanks and jogged up to the Bridge.

I tried to steady my breathing as the turbo lift took me up, trying to make it look like I wasn't hurrying.

Kirk was the only one to glance back at me when I came in. He smiled. "You're late." I smiled back for a second; thankful he was acting like everything was normal.

I let Riley go for the day, still pained by memories that had included Pavel, and me like the first day we had met.

"Let's start from zhe top."

"The top of what?" I said feigning confusion.

"Name?" He had asked.

"My name?" I asked, playing with him now.

"No my name,"

"I don't know your name." I told him. I hadn't at that point.

"Start playing games vith me miss and you're through," He said getting more then a bit frustrated.

"Really?" I said excitedly. "May I go now?" I asked.

When I came back to reality, I was smiling.

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OOOOkay! Never thought that this story would be so long! Anyway I was at my friends house the other day and she started telling this awesome trek story! She doesn't think its that great but I think this is the kind of story you people would like ! comment! If we get at least 3 or more requests I'll bother her until she lets me put it up! LLAP! Thnx to those who comment and those who don't please do! -\\/ (lol she'll kill me for putting this up! Snicker,snicker,teehee) : p