"Crikey! You don't get much more out of the blue than that, mun!" The Fairy Godmother gave him a look.
"I'll thank you to keep youer clever comments to youerself! And I thought I told you to turn that flipping lantern off!" Drippy jumped up again.
"I can't flipping turn it off! And it's none of youer business what I do with it anyway! I'm a grown fairy!" Meanwhile, Esther was confused, as well everybody else.
"Um... when you say "take a look at your guts," what do you mean exactly? Do you mean you'd like us to... to... go inside of you and... um...look for something?" Swaine crossed his arms.
"Something funny's going on here." He muttered. "Something I don't want any part of..." Abyssa punched him in the shoulder.
"Oh, live a little, Swaine! I want to see what's going to happen next!"
"Well, what it is, see... They're not coming out." Everyone gasped again.
"They're not coming out! The littlies, I mean! I give birth to all of them, see? I'm the mother of all fairies, en't it? And there's a load in there now who should have come popping out a while back, but nothing! Not a peep! Desperate, I am!"
"I, I'm not sure I understand..." Esther muttered, rubbing her forehead. Drippy turned and faced them to explain.
"Right. It's like this, see? My mam here brings up all the littlies-that's baby fairies to you-inside her tummy. And once they're big enough, out they pop! But it's so warm and comfy in there that sometimes the little darlings don't want to come out." Swaine shook his head.
"I've heard some strange things in my time, but this is... this is.. I don't know what this is."
"I know, love." the Fairy Godmother said. "It is proper strange them not coming out..." Drippy shook his head.
"He en't talking about the littlies, mun!" Then he looked back at the group. "Anyway, the thing is, to get inside Mam and see what's going on with the littlies, there's a little something you have to do first."
"That's right!" The Fairy Godmother exclaimed, already loud. "You've got to make me laugh, en't it?"
"Wh- What do you mean?" Esther asked.
"The only way into Mam's tummy is through her mouth, but it's so massive, she can't keep it open long unless she's laughing her head off." Drippy explained.
"So why don't you make her laugh, Mr. Drippy?" Oliver asked him. Drippy shook his head.
"Don't be stupid, mun! I've been off the circuit for years!"
"I'm very particular, see?" Drippy's Mum told them. "New material only! And his set is as old as the flipping hills..."
"So we can't help?" Swaine asked. "Never mind. We didn't mean to come to this island anyway. We'll just leave it, shall we?" Abyssa nearly shoved him off the platform.
"No, we shall not!" Esther retorted. "Drippy, we have to do something!" Drippy nodded.
"Youer right. Proper worried about those littlies, I am... Let's go and look for someone who can make the old girl giggle, shall we?" But Oliver wasn't so sure.
"But how? I don't know anything about comedy..."
"Well, there's a famous theatre over by the Fairyground where us fairies cut ouer comic teeth. Called the Cavity Club, it is. And since I taught a couple of the boys down there everything they know, I reckon they'll be happy to help us in ouer hilarious mission!" Esther and Abyssa snickered to each other.
"You taught them?" Esther asked.
"This I have to see!" Abyssa giggled. Oliver nodded.
"All right! Let's go find the Cavity Club!"
"Thanks, lovelies!" The Fairy Godmother said. "Counting on you, I am!"
"Heh. No pressure there." Abyssa said. Then they headed back down the ladder and went to find the Cavity Club. They ran over and saw a tree with a mouth on it! In the mouth was a stage and two fairies who appeared to be twins, except one looked like a duck in a blue sailor suit and the other had big long horns that were held down by two big hoop earrings a red suit.
"Hurry up, mun, they're on already!" Drippy said as they ran to the stage.
"Look at that!" They have a stage and everything!" Esther chuckled.
"Take that..." Said the red one halfheartedly, the blue one smacking him in the stomach. "Thank you and goodnight." Then they bowed. Half the crowd left. The other half were asleep.
"Rubbish, they are these days, mun." Said a fairy to his friend as they passed Abyssa, Oliver, and their friends.
"How long is this going to go on for?" The other said. "This is embarrassing." They all looked back at the fairies on the stage, who looked downhearted. The five of them went over to the stage, the blue fairy muttering to the red one.
"Crikey... Another stinker..." He said. Drippy came over to them.
"Well, if it en't my old pals Smiley 'n' Surly! How do, boys?" They both jumped.
"Drippy!" Said the one in blue, who Abyssa assumed was Surely.
"How do, mun?" The red one, Smiley, asked, smiling. "Long time no see, eh?" Drippy jumped up onto the stage.
"Never mind the small talk, you pair of layabouts! What are you doing back by here? I sent you to spy on flipping Shadar, didn't I?" The two looked away, embarrassed.
"Ah, well, you see, we, umm..." Surly muttered. "we just popped back home to get some cash to continue funding ouer, er... espionage, en't it though?"
"We've been working ouer socks off, mun!" Smiley added. "Got a tidy bit of info just the other day, we did! See, what it is, Shadar, see, well. he's..."
"He's what, mun?" Drippy shouted. "Spit it out!" Abyssa wanted to shout the same thing. What was the Dark Djinn planning?
"He's got all horns on his head, en't it!" Smiley told them. Abyssa and Drippy groaned.
"Well, I know that, don't I? I've seen him in the flipping flesh!" Drippy shouted at them.
"So the news you were getting while you were a doll, Mr. Drippy, it was from..." Drippy looked at the humans.
"That's right, Ollie-boy!" He told them. "Smiley 'n' Surly here were my eyes and ears on the ground!"
"Training up some new talent, are you?" Smiley asked him. "How do? I'm Smiley from Smiley 'n' Surly.
"They look a bit wet, mun." Surly told Drippy. "And this one by here looks like he'd pinch the dummy from a baby's mouth!" he gestured at Swaine.
"Wh- You cheeky little-" Abyssa slammed a hand over his mouth.
"No more of that, thank you." She said.
"Don't take it personal, mun!" Smiley told him. "It's just his way-it's why they call him Surly, en't it?"
"Hmph." Surly grumbled. "It's better than grinning youer face off all day like this gormless idiot by here. Anyway, nice to meet you and all that."
"Um, nice to meet you, too." Esther said, sort of confused. "Are these the fairies you said you trained, Drippy? Can we get them to help us make your mum laugh?"
"Oh yeah!" Drippy exclaimed. "It's the least you can do after letting me down in youer spying duties! You've letting me down in youer spying duties! You've heard Mam's all clogged up with littlies, en't it?" Both fairies looked shocked.
"Is it? There's serious!" Smiley said.
"We've not heard that, mun!" Surly added. Then Drippy snapped his tiny fingers.
"Hang on a minute- You two- Now I get it..."
"What is it, Mr. Drippy?" Oliver asked. Drippy sighed.
"Well, it's like this, see..." he said. "We've been here all this time, and neither one of these two has cracked a single joke."
"And that's a bad thing?" Abyssa asked sarcastically. Drippy ignored and continued.
"It's worse than I thought, mun. They're... They're broken-arted!" Abyssa crossed her arms and raised her eyebrows.
"Huh?" Oliver asked.
"What?" Esther pondered. Swaine just shook his head.
"Ahh, so that's it, is it, mun?" Surly asked. "I was wondering what was up with us, like..."
"Trust you to spot it, Drippy-boy." Smiley added. "Proper sharped-eyed, you are!"
"Hold on a second!" Swaine cut in. "Does anyone have a clue what these lunatics are on about?" Drippy turned back to his clueless friends.
"Oh yeah. Well it's like this, see-we fairies' hearts are made up all the different types of comedy. Pieces of art, we call them."
"Like the pieces of heart that make up a human's heart?" Abyssa asked.
"Weeelll... it's not really the same, but if it helps you think of it like that, fair enough. Anyway, when we lose a "piece of art," we become "artbroken." see?"
"Just like when humans become heartbroken, you mean?" Swaine asked. Drippy shook his head.
"Nah, mun! What are you on about!?" he shouted. "Completely different, it is!" Swaine stomped his foot.
"Well, it doesn't sound it!" He moaned.
"Heartbroken people just act all weird. Folks who get artbroken have it much worse-they stop being funny! I know! Terrible, en't it?"
"Umm..." Esther was still confused. "I don't think I quite understand..." Abyssa snapped her fingers.
"I get it. This means that we can't get your mum laugh."
"Make Mam laugh?" Surly exclaimed. "Youer kidding, en't you? We couldn't make Laughy Laughingson laugh after a barrel of laughing gas, mun! Sorry. No can do!"
"He's right, mun." Smiley said. "We tried giving him a second barrel but he sicked up, didn't he? Sad, really-we thought he was giggling at first." Drippy shook his head at them.
"Flipping useless you are, the pair of you! Still, you are artbroken, I s'pose... All right. We'll help you."
"You will?" Smiley asked. "Tidy! A proper legend, you are, Drippy-boy! If we don't get funny soon, we'll have to split up. Imagine-after seventeen years!" But Surly was confused.
"Eh? Split up? That's the first I've flipping heard about it!" He shouted.
"You're right, Drippy-we should help them! Just like you and Oliver helped me!" Esther told him.
"Tidy! That's that decided, then! Let's get all the pieces of art together and give these boys a laugh injection, shall we?"
"Nice one, Drippy-boy!" Smiley said happily. "You don't want to see us split up, eh?"
"What do you keep going on about splitting up for, mun?" Surly asked, upset. "We've never said nothing about it!"
"Righto, Ollie-boy!" Drippy said excitedly. "Get youer piece-of-art-gathering hat on! I reckon eight should do it! Sound about right to you?" Oliver nodded.
"Come on, let's do it!" Oliver said. "We can't them split up!"
"How many times, mun!" Surly shouted. "We're not flipping splitting up!"