Whelp…. it's been a while. Really, really sorry about that but me and Leo have started A Levels which quite frankly suck! But I had an idea and so decided to go with it. It's the final chapter of the Chinduggery shots and you are all gonna hate me I am so sorry I apologise in advance. Please read and review, and we promise we will update soon! Enjoy-Lexi :)

Disclaimer:

Lexi: What do you say?

Leo: Sowy

Lexi: For what?

Leo: PHC….it will get updated, promise

Lexi: Well it better coz you know what?

Leo: What?

Lexi: We still don't own Skully P, the wonderful Derek Landy does

Leo: Dammmit

What in the Blazes

China sat at her desk, an evil smile playing about her ruby red lips. With a final flourish of her pen, she finished writing the note before her, re-reading what she wrote before folding the paper carefully and placing it into an envelope. She put the name on the front and walked out her office, handing the letter to one of her many minions with clear instructions on who to give it to and not to be seen. She watched the elemental she chose walk out the door before sauntering back to her office, smiling at her own wickedness; her plan was set, now all she had to do was wait for the perfect moment to strike.

Gordon's Mansion, 12:30pm

Valkyrie Cain was sat, curled up on the sofa next to her friend, Tanith Low, eating popcorn whilst watching a particularly violent movie. She was still devastated by Skulduggery's betrayal, even though she tried not to show it. Suddenly, a knock on the door startled both women, causing popcorn to fly everywhere. Valkyrie cursed, as she sat up and put what was left of the popcorn on the small coffee table next to her. She walked over to the door, only to find a letter sticking out of the rectangular letter box which she put in after getting annoyed at having to answer the door every time the postman had something for her. She gently pulled the envelope out the door, frowning slightly at the curly writing on the front, instantly recognising Skulduggery's writing. She walked back into the living room, sitting down next to Tanith, still staring at the letter.

"What is it?" Tanith asks, moving closer to read over Valkyrie's shoulder as she opens the letter.

My dearest Valkyrie,

I must apologise for my atrocious behaviour over the past few days, I have no idea what came over me. I loathe China and you know this, she must have done something to me. I love you and only you. Please, meet me at my house today at 3, we can talk things over; the door will be open, just let yourself in.

Yours,

Skulduggery

Valkyrie turned slightly as she heard a sharp intake of breath. Tanith sat there looking sceptical.

"Don't go Val" she warned, seeing her friend torn between her head and her heart.

"But what if he means it?" Val whispered, longing in her heart. "What if he's right and China did something to him?"

"Are you crazy?" Tanith almost shouts "Do you not remember what he said to you?"

"Yes I'm not an idiot!" Val shouts back, angry at her friend for not understanding how much this means for her, how much hurt when she saw the man (well skeleton) she loves kissing that filthy, lying, backstabbing bitch.

"Then stop acting like one" Tanith says, raising her voice even more.

"Oh like you when Ghastly turned himself to stone?" Val yelled, instantly regretting her harsh words as she saw the adept visibly flinch. "Oh shit Tanith, I didn't mean…" Val started quietly, shame and guilt lacing her words.

"No, its fine." Tanith said calmly. "You're right, you are an adult and know what to do with your life. If you want to see him then go, who am I to stop you?" She gets up to leave, Val not stopping her as she walks out the front door. Val puts her head in her hands as she hears Tanith's bike start up and drive off down the road.

"What have I done?" she whispers to herself.

Skulduggery's house, 2:50pm

A knock at the door startled Skulduggery from his boredom. He stood to get the door, cocking his head when he saw China stood in front of him.

"Are you going to let me in?" she asks sarcastically. Skul just stepped out the way and gestured for China to come in. She smiled as he shut the door, almost instantly jumping on the skeleton, pressing the symbol on his collarbone sliding flesh between her fingers. China moaned in pleasure as she felt Skul's hands slip beneath her top, undoing her bra. She pushes him into the kitchen, pulling off his top as she moved, gasping in surprise as he flipped her over and forced her against the counter. He kissed her hard on the mouth, tongue fighting a battle for dominance, loving the way China moaned and grinded against his body. He ripped off her shirt, hands wondering all over her body, making her arch with pleasure. She reached down and yanked his trousers, throwing them on the floor along with all her other clothes, she didn't even realise that her skirt was among them. She pressed herself even further into Skulduggery, willing him to become one with her.

Suddenly, a door bangs shut. Skul quickly raises his head from where it had been buried in China's neck a moment before, looking in horror towards the sound.

"What the fuck?!" Val shouted, frozen in horror and shock at the sight before her.

"Val, what are you doing here?" Skul asked, his voice wavering slightly at the pure fury in his ex-girlfriend's eyes.

"Your note?" Val hints, barely controlled anger in her voice. "I can't believe I was so stupid. Tanith was right" she mutters to herself before turning to China, who was smirking smugly. Something in Val snapped, she conjured a fireball, hurling it at China who deflected it with a wave of her hand.

"Val stop!" Skul yelled, stepping between the two women as Val reached for her necromancer ring.

"Fine, but consider yourself an enemy and a traitor you fucking pig." She said darkly before turning and running out the door, slamming it shut behind her. Skul turned to China, who was still leaning against the counter smirking.

"You did this" Skul stated, glaring at the beautiful woman before him. China just shrugged and stood up straight. "You foul evil bitch!" Skul yelled, taking a step towards her. China rolled her eyes, looking bored and mildly disappointed as she waves her hand, wrapping Skul in invisible bonds.

"Apologies, Mr Pleasant" she says in a business-like tone "I didn't want it to come down to this but you leave me no choice." She lifts a large wooden bat from behind the counter, staring blankly as she whacks Skul over the head with it, watching as the skeleton crumples to the ground, unconscious.

Skulduggery woke, his head pounding. He went to cradle his skull before realising that he couldn't move his arms…or his legs. He looked down to see himself tied to a chair.

"Ah, you're awake" a bored voice says. He looked up to see China Sorrows looking down at him, a devilish smile on her pretty face.

"Is this some erotic fantasy?" Skul asks, cocking his head to the side as China chuckles and leans close to him, almost touching.

"No, although I must admit, you were very good with your tongue" she says suggestively, winking at the detective before drawing back and sitting gracefully on an armchair directly across from him. She crossed her legs and leaned forward, studying Skul.

"What are you plotting? Another break up?" Skul said, venom dripping from his voice. China just smiled and shook her head.

"Unfortunately not. Although that was fun, seeing the look of utter horror on the child's face." She clapped her hands in glee. "But no. My masters have a job for me but I decided to have a little fun before I did it."

"And what was your job? Torment Valkyrie?" He asks, straining against the bonds that held him. He looked up at China, her face impassive.

"No, my dear detective." She says quietly "My task, is to kill you." Skulduggery stills, staring as China slowly gets up and stalks toward him, like a panther hunting its prey. She picks up a red container and starts to tip it up, pouring black liquid all over him. He recognises it as oil. She was going to burn him. He started to struggle even more against the bonds that held him but it did no good, they just grew tighter and tighter. CRACK! He gasped in pain as one of his ribs broke under the strain of the bonds. China had just finished emptying the oil, and she moved over to the doorway. He thought he saw a hint of regret as she conjured a fireball in her hand and played with it before speaking.

"You know; I really did love being with you but Mevolent is just too powerful and plain terrifying. See ya round, Skully."

"No, China, wait!" Skul tried to yell but it was too late. She threw the fireball straight at his feet, immediately engulfing him in the inferno. China walked out the house, shutting her eyes to the screams of terror and agony from within as Skulduggery Pleasant burned alive. She walked back to the library, the screams haunting her as she sat in her office, a solitary tear making its way down one perfect cheek. She quickly wipes it away before sending an anonymous message to the Edgely Mansion.

Valkyrie burst through the door and ran down the road as quick as possibly, launching off a bridge and flying the rest of the way. She collapsed as she saw the destruction. The house was still burning. She summoned water and drowned the flames, running inside as soon as they subsided. She created a bubble of air around her to get through the smoke as she searched the house. She turned the corner into the kitchen and stopped dead. There were the remains of a chair and a pile of blackened, disintegrated bones that could only belong to one person. She fell to her knees and screamed at the ceiling. Her heart was ripped in two as she looked at the remains of the one person she truly loved. She felt tears streaming down her face and she let them, the grief too much to bear. She lay down in the soot next to the bones and let her grief and regret pour out of her. She hears an almighty rumble and knew that the building was about to fall on top of her but she couldn't bring herself to care, she just closed her eyes as the roof collapsed on top of her and her world went dark.

Well, that escalated quickly…. bearing in mind that I haven't actually read the last two books yet please don't hate me for not actually knowing details of stuff but it was really OOC I know so apologies. Please read and review though and don't hate me too much?