/a.n./ First of all, I'd like to apologize to you guys for updating on such irregular intervals. I really do want to be able to update every two weeks or so, but my schedule doesn't let me… Today was the first day in a month that I found any time to actually sit down and write anything. I'm really exerting myself this year, since I'll have even less time next year… The good news is, I'll have a five-day break next week so I want to get a couple more chapters done in that duration. Please don't lose faith in me, I'm really trying…
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Chapter 9
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Kagome's POV
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I woke up with my head hitting hard wood. With a groan, I opened my eyes slowly, only to realize that I was still half sitting, half lying on the floor. My leg – which I was very conveniently sitting on – was bent in an awkward angle which I knew would prevent me from walking normally for a good hour or so. I craned my neck to the side a bit to get a view of Sango. Her head was thrown back onto the blanket on the bed, her legs neatly folded to the side. Absentmindedly, I rubbed my eyes and made a move to get up.
Sango stirred next to me, mumbling something unintelligible under her breath. I froze, not wanting to awaken her just yet. Dark, bruise-like circles had formed under her puffy eyes. She had always had them, but I hadn't realized that they were such a prominent feature of hers.
Again; very slowly I rose from where I sat, ignoring the cramp in my leg. I plopped down on the bed and rubbed the sleep out of my eyes, then rested my head in my hands for a moment or two, just breathing. I tried to distract myself by concentrating on the ticking of my watch – it showed 3pm.
Last night had been…different, to say the least. I didn't understand. It was as if a bunch of miscellaneous pieces had been thrown in front of me and someone expected me to somehow make something of logic out of them.
So many times I had wished to just go with the flow; to abandon plans and schedules and to just live spontaneously. Now that all my plans had been thrown away, it felt more like I had fallen into a river, and I was being pulled along with the current against my will. Could that really be called freedom? Maybe not so much.
It wasn't a nice feeling; and above all, it made me feel vulnerable. There was nothing I could anticipate, nothing I could try to foresee – and I felt lost. Searing pain pounded in my skull, disabling me from thinking. I shook my head a couple of times and pressed my fingers to my temples. These were the times when I wished I carried Apranax in my bag.
Sango stirred again, eyelids fluttering, then turned and rested her head on her arm. I chuckled to myself, remembering how she used to do the same thing when mom came to wake her up as a child. Sometimes these little flashbacks into the days when I used to wear frilly pink dresses made me forget about all the other ones that lead me to move out.
"Why do I feel like crap?" Sango mumbled into her arm.
"You look like crap too." I pointed out, my lips curving into a shadow of a smile.
"Thanks." she muttered, raising her head from her arm and narrowing her eyes.
She made a motion to get up, clutching the sideboard of the bed to get her balance back. Doing an overly exaggerated, cartoon-like yawn, she plopped down on the bed and closed her hands over her eyes.
"If I do this," she said in a voice partly muffled by her hands, "I can almost feel like I'm back in Tokyo." She opened her eyes again. "But when I do this… I know I'm not."
The shadow of that smile was gone now. I trudged to the bed and sat down next to her, fixing my eyes on the floor. "I guess that's the beauty of closing your eyes then, huh?"
"So can I just keep my eyes closed… all day?" she asked. I felt something shift in my chest. It had been a long time since the last time I had heard Sango speak in a childlike voice. Not even as a child, had she spoken with so little self-trust.
"Why lie to yourself for a whole day?"
"Because it's easier."
I sighed, resigned. "You can keep your eyes closed for another hour." I conceded. It looked like she would use that hour to its fullest. A little half-heartedly, I stood up and walked to the little cabled phone on the table across from the beds. Food would probably do me good just about now; and since going out for breakfast didn't seem like an option, I would call room-service. Hopefully, nobody would dump poison into our food or put a grenade in the tray.
After I had called the buffet, I went back and threw myself onto my own bed, closing my eyes. I tried to concentrate on the thought of approaching food, but failed miserably. It wasn't a shocker, really. Food was probably the last thing I could concentrate on at the moment. The whole thing with Sango still hadn't reached a conclusion. I wasn't going to push her or anything, not with the way she had been last night; but I still wanted answers. Something, anything would suffice; but all I could get right now was plain old nothing.
How absolutely wonderful.
A knock on the door disrupted my string of thought. I dragged myself to the door and opened it with a slight creak. A man in a black vest and bowtie stood in the doorway with a large tray in hand. At least there were no visible grenades anywhere. I managed a weak smile and took the tray, thanking him curtly. As I set the tray on the table and made a move to close the door, something caught my eye.
A piece of folded white paper had been shoved between the hinges and the wall and was now sticking out of the little opening. I felt my throat close up a little and strove to swallow. Paranoia didn't suit me well. I grabbed the side of the paper and carefully maneuvered it out of the opening, trying not to rip any part of it. I opened it, straightening it out against the wall. An address had been written on it in sloppy handwriting - the name of a bar a little out of Iwaki.
I frowned at the paper. One side of me wanted to go; but the other, perhaps more logical part of me said that it would be dangerous. Lately I found that couldn't trust either completely.
"Why do I hear doors closing?" Sango groaned from where she lay.
"I ordered room service."
The mention of food seemed to rouse her immediately. I chuckled a little as she jolted upright in bed, eyes open wide.
"Forgotten your pledge to keep your eyes closed, sister?"
"Pledge, schmedge," she said, getting up and walking towards the tray of food set on the table. She picked up a pair of chopsticks and dug into the rice, stuffing heaping mouthfuls into her mouth. My smile had come back again, just watching her pig out on the food. Sango had always seemed so poised and composed; so seeing her stuffing her face like this made me believe that there was still a part of her that longed to escape formalities and rules and the eyes of society. It made me feel like I could give our relationship a chance, a real chance.
"Kagome, it's good. Eat." Sango managed to say, still trying to chew. I complied, picking up my own set of chopsticks and lunging at whatever food Sango hadn't managed to finish in the course of two minutes. When she was – finally – done, she sat up and dabbed at her mouth with a cloth napkin. And so lady-like Sango was back within three seconds.
"You know you can really be a pig when you eat." I pointed out lightheartedly. She shrugged, patting her stomach. "Hunger and poise don't mix."
My lips pressed together then, remembering the paper I had found. Picking it up from the table, I offered it to Sango. "I also found this…"
Sango seemed puzzled for a second as she looked at the paper, scrutinizing the writing etched on it.
"Where'd you find this?"
"Jammed between the wall and the door, this morning."
Her face fell a little as she set it back on the table. "So what are you planning on doing?" she asked. I shrugged. "Dunno. You?"
She looked torn for a second; then, slowly, a mask of absolute calm flooded over her face. I cocked an eyebrow. "Let's go then, it'll be some action."
I stared at her blank face. "Oh like we need more of that." I huffed.
Her mask faltered for just a fraction of a second at my words; just enough to let me understand that she was trying to maintain a façade. I decided not to let her in on the fact that I had noticed, and to just play along with whatever angle she was playing at.
"Then again, maybe it'll give us some answers?" I offered reluctantly.
"Exactly."