Chapter 9

…I am the walrus, he told us. To this day I cannot figure out what he meant, or why he said that. The next thing I knew, we were on that wild bus ride. I was so confused… I think we all were. It was the delusion of the sixties: that we could do anything, and we didn't have to understand it—combined with our naturally authority-resistant, adolescent minds, we were unstoppable. We could be happily confused, because I am he as you are he as you are me and at that time, we were all happily together. And now that I think about it, maybe that's why it was so easy to fight.

Lucy read over the page one more time, and frowned. It was a little awkward, she thought, but it would do. It was the truth, and that would always do. From their bed, Jude breathed deeply and rolled over, realized she wasn't there, and woke up.

"Lucy," he yawned, "what are you doing, Love?"

Lucy pulled the three pages she'd written out of the typewriter and set them in a folder. "Nothing, Judey." She said gently "Go back to sleep."

"Alright." And within minutes his breathing slowed and steadied. Lucy watched him lovingly—she'd thought she was happy living with him; she was absolutely ecstatic married to him. It was like a constant high that wouldn't let her down, ever, because Jude was her drug, and she was confident that he would never run out. He was always on her mind—even at five in the morning, bleary eyed, having downed three cups of coffee already, he was there.

"Jude," she whispered when she thought he was asleep. She hugged her knees to her chest and did a little spin on the rolling chair.

"Hmm?" he managed, eyes still closed.

"I love you."

He smiled and went back to sleep.

Lucy turned out the lamp and went to bed.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Mr. Maxwell Carrigan had many good qualities. He was a relatively decent man. He was charming, funny, and easily amused. He was good looking, intelligent enough to have gotten into Princeton (he had gotten in, which took the real work—dropping out had just been common sense). Of course, he had his faults, but he tried not to emphasize them.

Valerie A. McKenzie did.

She was new at Sadie's record company, and Max, being the charming, funny, easily amused man that he was, had tried to be nice and show her around.

Somehow, she ended up shunning him for the day.

"McKenzie…" he'd murmured upon first meeting her, "Are you related to the preacher?"

"No, I'm a Buddhist."

He took one more look at her—she had long, curly red hair and bright hazel eyes, milky, pale skin, and a few freckles here and there. She certainly didn't look Buddhist.

"Oh. Sorry."

"No problem. Now, can you show me where I'm supposed to work?"

"Yeah, sure."

They walked in silence, but Max couldn't help himself. She was such a pretty girl. "So, are you a music major, or what?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"Yeah."

"My sister is too. I think she works with you actually. Her name is Lucy, but she just got married, so she's taking three weeks off.

"That must be nice."

He'd been kind this long. He couldn't help it—she had to ask. "Can I take you out to dinner, Valerie? Show you around?"

She stopped walked and turned to look at him squarely. "Mr. Carrigan, I'll have you know I've lived in New York my entire life. I'll also tell you now that I really hate people like you—see a girl and think 'Lo' and behold, a pretty, shiny, object!' because I am not a pretty, shiny, object, and I will not go out with you, and I will not be subject to some weirdo harassing me at a job I worked hard to earn, understand?"

Max nodded speechlessly and stopped talking.

It was like a slap in the face—of course he'd been refused before, but never with so thorough an explanation and total refusal.

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

Prudence held Lucy by the hair over the toilet, as the latter wretched miserably.

"You know what this means, don't you?" Prudence asked with a grin.

"Shut up, Pru." Lucy managed, before another bout of vomiting.

"You should go to the doctor, you know, just to make sure."

"What they point of that? I know what it is."

"Make sure there's nothing wrong with it."

"It's too early to tell anyways."

"Actually, since you're throwing-up…"

"Fine, fine, I'll go tomorrow."

"That's what you'll say tomorrow!"

"Who are you, my mother?"

But Prudence couldn't answer to that, because then Lucy bent down once again over the toilet and puked.

"Wait till Jude finds out…"

Lucy shook her head miserably. "That's not what I'm worried about. When Mrs. Feeney finds out, she's going to have me in bed for nine months. Nine months, Prudence."

"No she won't…" Prudence rolled her eyes and helped her friend wash her face with cold water.

"She will!"

"She can't do that. You have work." They got her to bed once more, and Prudence brought her some tea.

"That won't stop her…" Lucy muttered darkly after taking a sip. The warm watr made her feel a little better, but not much.

"How far d'you think you're along?"

"Can't have been too long… three, four weeks?"

"When do you have to be at work?"

"One, today. John told me there was some stuff they had to finish before coming."

"Ok… you can to the doctor between now and one."

"Can't I just get a pregnancy test?"

"What's the point in that? You didn't eat anything funky last night, did you?"

"No. Just some salad."

"Then go to the doctor."

Lucy sighed. "Fine. Here's the number." She scribbled it down sullenly on a post-it. "Go make an appointment for me."

"You suck." But Prudence took the number and went outside to the phone.

Lucy leaned back with a slight groan. How had this happened?

Well, she knew how it had happened. She just…

How would Jude react to this one? He would either be happy or confused or both. From previous experience, she guessed the last—but Mrs. Feeney was really what was nagging at her. The woman would be insufferable. Now that they were married, she was a little less of a pain—but still, it was "Lucy, careful!" or "Americans are so thin… Eat, Lucy!" or "Jude, you really ought to make sure she doesn't slip on the wood…" as if she'd ever slipped on the wood. They'd lived here for an entire three and a half months, and not once had she ever slipped on the wood.

She came right then, with more tea in her hand.

"Lucy, Lucy… You barely eat as it is. Why do you have to throw it all out?"

"I'm not throwing it up on purpose, Mrs. Feeney."

"Then what's wrong with you?"

"I don't know." She lied. Let the doctor confirm it first. She'd been having morning sickness for the past few days, with Prudence helping her out when it was particularly bad, but she'd kept it to herself. She'd never had to go to bed before. Mrs. Feeney, busy sewing, had been completely unaware until Prudence had gone to call the doctor.

"Lucy?" Prudence came in with the phone on her ear. "Is 10:30 good for you?"

"It's fine."

"She says it's ok." Prudence said in a dead-pan voice. "Ok. Right. See you then. Bye." She left to put the phone away and came back rubbing her temples. "Secretaries are so annoying… You'd better get dressed if you're going to be there at 10:30."

"Right." Lucy grumbled. She was ready in minutes, in one of the dresses her mother had brought a while ago when she came for their wedding. Mrs. Feeney waved her off while she grabbed a purse, and she and Prudence called for a cab.

"Where are you off to, then?" the cabdriver said sullenly.

"The Rigby Medical Institute."

The drive was long and silent. By the time they got there it was exactly 10:30, and they had to rush to the second floor.

"Alright, dears." The nurse said kindly. Prudence rolled her eyes. "Which one of you needs pregnancy verification?"

Lucy smiled. "That would be me."

The nurse shook her hand. Then she sat her down and asked her a few questions.

"How old are you?"

"Twenty three."

"How long have you been sexually active?"

"Does it matter?"

"I'm afraid it does…"

"No it doesn't. You just want the excuse to ask her these completely insignificant questions." Prudence muttered.

"Fine. Uh… four years?"

And on went the personal and obtrusive questions. Prudence rolled her eyes and made snide comments at several of them. Lucy knew what the nurse was thinking—how had a sweet little girl like her come across someone like Prudence?

Such was the miracle of New York.

"Alright, I'm just going to have you take this test…"

"Finally!" Lucy grabbed the urine cup and disappeared into the bathroom for a few minutes. When she came back, the nurse took the cup and left.

"She's going to come back and go 'Congratulations Mrs. Feeney, you're pregnant as hell, and you're going to swell up like a balloon… have fun!'" Lucy said sarcastically. Was it really necessary to ask her all those questions just to find out if she was pregnant or not? Actually, she was almost positive she was now. She'd only come here to make sure.

"Congratulations Mrs. Feeney!" the nurse burst in with a smile, "You're…"

"Pregnant as hell and about to swell up like a balloon?"

"Oh… well… yes, I suppose. You're about two weeks along." The woman had lost some enthusiasm. "Is it… a bad thing?"

"Oh no!" Lucy smiled "Of course not! I am happy. I'm just impatient to know, that's all."

"Oh. Well, ok then. Congratulations!"

"Thank you…" Lucy glanced at the woman's nametag, "Linda."

"Would you like to schedule a follow-up appointment?"

"Sure."

When that was done, Lucy left the institute with a small smile on her face.

"So," Prudence grinned. "What are you going to tell him?"

"'Hey Jude, I'm pregnant.'"

Prudence's grin broadened. "That'll work out fine, I'm sure." They walked in silence for a minute. "Actually, I'm sure he'll be ecstatic."

"Of course he will."

"And Max…"

"Max will say, 'right, kid, if you get my sister hurt in any way, shape, or form, that'll be your last child.'"

"Yeah… something like that."

XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX

They made it to Sadie's record company, where everybody was taking a break for lunch in Jude's art studio.

"Jude, come here." Lucy murmured pulling him up and out of the room. She brought him to a hallway and put her hands on his shoulders.

"I'm pregnant as hell and about to swell up like a balloon."

Jude stared at her in shock for a moment.

"Wow Luce… that's…" he grinned and kissed her fiercely. Then he pulled away with worry in his eyes. "How do you feel? Is that why you've been sick in the morning all week?"

"How did you know that? I locked the bathroom and everything…"

"When you throw up, you make these nasty sounds, like you're being tortured." He said apologetically.

"Oh." She colored slightly. "Well… yes, actually, it is why… Prudence helped though."

"And now?"

"I'm fine. Just a little lumpy, that's all."

He touched her abdomen lightly. "How far along?"

"Two weeks. I went to the nurse this morning."

Jude shook his head absently. "Wow…Who else knows?"

"Prudence."

"That's it?"

"Yup. And we're keeping it that way for the first few months, understood? I'm not going to stay in bed."

"You know something?"

"What?"

"This only means Mum is staying longer."

"Thank you, Jude."

They went back in, and Max grinned, though it was little different than how he usually did. A little more confused than the norm. "So what've you done to my sister, kid?"

"Max, I'm older than you."

"Yeah, but I'm so much more mature…" Max lit a cigarette and offered him one. He took it and they sat in silence for a while. Then Sadie stood.

"I think it's time to get back to work. Or get to it." She added, looking at Lucy oddly.

The younger woman blushed under scrutiny and left for her studio. The group she would be working with was a bunch of kids barely twenty… and she had to say, it was amazing, the difference of two years.

"Right. See you, Sadie." Max said lightly, getting up and out of the room, his sister in tow waving back. Prudence and Jo-Jo left, expecting Sadie to come after them, but she stayed behind for a minute.

"You know, Jude, this place smells terrible."

"That's how it always smells, Sadie…"

"Yeah, but paint fumes aren't good for babies." She mumbled, walking out. Jude looked after he incredulously.

Nonetheless, he left the windows open that night and the next day, though it smelled a little better, he decided to take Lucy out for lunch.

I haven't forgotten about Max. I'll elaborate on his troubles a little more next chapter. I'm also trying to finish this story, so 'Thoughts' may is going to be on hiatus.

Mari