Chapter 10

She'd seen this before, she thinks and knows what will happen next. However she can't stop it, she can't stop herself. She knows what she has to do, and she will get it done.

A van is parked at a gas station, a man filling it with gas. She raises a palm at him, a friendly gesture. A simple wave; trickery. Power bubbles under the surface, and pulses through her veins. A tingling heat pickles her fingertips, a burning sensation shivers through them. A good sensation, one she has felt before, and loves to feel on a daily basis. She won't aim for the van, but the pump station. She focuses her mind on it, breathes in deeply, and finally closes her palm. Transforming it into a fist.

The pump crushes with it, just as easily as her palm closed. The combustion follows the second the metal shifts. An explosion releasing a fire creates more explosions, consuming the whole station. She hears the ripping, the shattering, the burning. Smells the gas, the fire, oil, melted metal. Witnesses the fire ripple, rise, destroy, take and swallow. Nothing is left, nothing but the screams of agony lingering on her ears.

And she is happy. But the hot boil of the rush fades just as quickly as it came. The pleasure fades to a simmer, and stills, then turns to ice. A heartless ice that leaves her empty, wanting more; and she's bored. Painstakingly bored, and she frowns at the boredom. Simply twisting on her heels and walking away. Away from the fierce fire and the desperate wails for help within them.

Fear was everywhere and she was awake. She felt around the bed to grip onto Len, but he wasn't there. Before she panicked, a reminder went off in her head; he's in the next room. Instantly she was out of bed, dragging her blanket behind her. Shifting through the pitch dark room. So silently nobody would hear her. She needed Len, she was only getting worse, and only he could protect her. He'd promised her that.

Soon enough she was at his bedside. He was sleeping with one hand hanging off the side of his bed, the way he usually did. She watched over him for a while as he slept peacefully. Wondering if it was a good idea to join him. Making her decision she shook him lightly and he awoke partially. Sleepily he stared up at her with his eyes not quite fully open.

"Rin...?" His voice was slightly husky, just the way it was every morning. Once he acknowledged her she waisted no time in climbing into bed next to him. Snuggling right up against him and trying to fall asleep, yet failed miserably. She couldn't stop remembering the vividness of her earlier dream. It was almost too real to be just a dream, she could feel it.

She kept going back and wondering where she'd seen it all happen before, because if it wasn't a dream then possibly could she have really done such a thing? Could all of that have been real at some point in time? Cold shivers crawled their way across her skin. She'd simply walked away from people, people who'd been crying out for her help. Live, living people who for all she knew had families. A mental recollection of the dream intruded her thoughts.

The man who'd been standing at the pump was no longer anonymous, and in his place stood Len. He was filling gas into Teto's car and grumbling while doing so. That was until Rin approached. He looked up and smiled at her, even waving in the process. That wasn't, and was herself before him, but he didn't know. Rin was Rin and nobody else as he'd said countless times. Always reassuring her, believing in her, protecting her, teaching her. But that didn't change the fact that the gas station still burned, and so did Len. She cried out and tears clouded her eyes. She felt as if she was watching herself from a camera. Unable to do anything but record, watch, and listen away from her own body.

Instead of snuggling with Len she climbed out of yet another bed. Folding up her blanket she set it on the floor next to Len's things. She snuck out to the living room and grabbed her shoes, sneaking out into the hallway afterwards. The dream had been too vivid to not be real, a sort of paranoia clung to her not letting her forget. Walking to the elevator she took it down to the main lobby and left through the front entrance. If she really had some sort of power within her, she should be able to use it. As much as finding out if she truly possessed power scared her, not knowing and then blowing up later was an even worse alternative.

She followed the sidewalk and ditched it when she found a thick enough brush of woods. She trudged through the weeds and thorns though branches whipped at her face. Even when thistles stabbed at her ankles and legs, inflaming them with itchiness they'd only stayed swollen for a few seconds. She tripped several times and fell hard scraping her hands and knees. Even those only bled momentarily before disappearing as if they hadn't been there.

Her stomach tightened at the realization that she healed just as quickly as she was injured. Finally deliberately cutting herself on a sharp piece of bark she watched as the cut bled, then quickly the blood ran backwards and the cut sealed.

She stumbled backwards and fell. Nearly slicing her hand open on a jagged rock. Her breathing quickened as she watched again as the cut healed. She bit her bottom lip holding back tears and with much strength picked herself up off the ground. Glancing back she turned to pick up the rock before continuing forward.

She continued to trip and stumble in the darkness of the woods until finally she reached a small deserted brief clearing in the brush. Now was the time to test wether she was truly human or not. No mere human was capable of healing so quickly. Even this knowledge she was aware of.

Crossing the clearing she placed the jagged rock down at the directly below at a tree base. Slowly and almost painfully she crossed back to the other side and sat on a log.

"Okay...okay," she breathed to herself. Shakily she drew in deep breaths and exhaled. "Lift!" She thought. But nothing happened and the rock still sat where she'd placed it. "Move!" And still the rock sat. Rin sighed heavily, wondering why nothing was happening. She'd been almost eager to hurt someone earlier. To use her powers, if she even had any. There had to be something she was doing wrong.

As much as she didn't want to, she recalled all the times the voice had spoken to her. What it had said, and when it had said it. She didn't seriously wanna hurt anyone but maybe that's how it worked. Determinedly she shook her head. No, this power was hers to use whenever she wanted. If she couldn't destroy anything and everything she wanted, why have it? Something rummaged inside of her at that thought, and she felt a slight warmth.

She focused on the rock, but nothing else happened. All she saw was a rock, a very sharp rock. Nothing else about it held any significance. What else could she possibly be missing? Then she remembered, a sort of reminiscence, a far off tune, but it was a melody. A sweet melody, the same she'd only heard yesterday.

She could remember learning it, but not from who, and where it had even came from. Nonetheless it was there, and she let it play. Let all the notes drift and swirl inside her mind, inside of her. With time it grew louder and she listened, drifted away into it, sunk. Each note caressed her and she focused. Thought of everything she wanted to do, everything they'd ever taught her to do. All she'd ever been made to do.

Her thoughts faded out and the music came in. Louder, more demanding, more stern, and everything inside of her burned. Subconsciously she'd filled with the desire to sing to it, the yearning to live it, breathe the music. It's a song she adores, a song she hates. Yet it always swells up inside of her and she's used to it. Her eyes close and the world almost stops, everything stills till motion is slow, almost gone and nonexistent. She fades into the background, herself no longer existent, but another steps forward.

Everything builds within her, the warmth, the power, the need. It all builds up and boils, all she has to do is aim. Again she doesn't need to move, but only has to say the words, only has to open her eyes and its done. And upon opening her eyes the rock explodes.

There is no fire, no explosion, but she feels it all the same. It shatters and flies in a million directions. Crashes into a million different things, but she's not content alone with that. No, there can't be anything left of it, and she smiles. Even the broken pieces of the rock erupt and break. They crumble and disappear and the wind takes dusty remains of them away.

Even that doesn't cause the power to simmer. It's been held for too long, tamed for too long. Something it wasn't used to doing, something it never wanted to do. So she goes on and the melody plays. She raises two fingers and separates them. Trees around her split into half's and they tumble. Crashing, falling, slamming into other trees and the noise of it all is glorious. The wreckage and the destruction. All of it fills her and she laughs, dementedly, hysterically.

She raises her hands and destroys more. Mentally blasts holes through trees and throws rocks. She lifts a pebble and throws it. The pebble once small, once insignificant cuts clean through a large boulder. Leaving it with a hole through its very center.

Slowly, she frowns, even that doesn't please her, she needs something larger, something bigger. Something alive and she wanders the forest in search of it. Anything will do, anything. She finds herself singing, skipping playfully through the forest. Wanting to destroy, willing to destroy everything and anything that got in her path. She stops and laughs, laughs for all to see. Loud enough, hard enough that everyone will hear.

Her and her master are above everyone else. Anyone who dared break that balance, dared to defy, to upset him would be killed. Right in cold blood by her hands. She'd make sure of it, no one would escape. Nothing could escape her. The reaches of her destruction stretched too far and too wide to avoid.

She stumbled across a puddle and stared at her reflection. Her eyes aren't blue, they're red. Just a reflection of what she was, what she stood for and loved to see.

"This isn't me!" Something inside of her shrieked. Her mind throbs, and she cries out in pain. It's so intense that she grips her head and falls to her knees. "Why...Rin? We don't wanna destroy anymore. I don't wanna hurt anyone anymore!" Sharp shards of air is all her body is able to breathe in. Her reflection has changed, dramatically so. Almost as if she's staring at two faces put together.

One is herself, the voice, the only change a single red eye. While another half of her has blinding blue ones. Ones that shed a single tear for herself.

"This is who we are!" The part with the red eye yells. Infact almost screams. "This is all we were ever meant to be!" She slaps at the water, rage shooting through her veins. The rage feeds the power, and she wants to destroy more before she's deemed useless. But the blue eyed part reaches out, hugs herself. She hugs her body and it feels as if there is someone behind her. Hugging her and loving all she is. A tranquil calm comes over her body and the rage recedes, ebbing away till it's gone. Blue eyes shakes her head, and smiles, and whispers.

"Doesn't mean it's who we want to be, who we have to be." The whisper is warm, yet it cools her. It's sweet and she finds herself drifting back into it. Red eyes take their place in the background, and she blinks. Staring at her reflection in the puddle, both blue eyes her own. Rin is Rin again and nobody else, as Len's words repeat.

Solemnly she stared at her face. It's the same again of course, but now she had her answer. Almost all her answers infact. Tears flow from two eyes, her two eyes. Trickling almost softly down her cheeks. Rin stood and stared into the sky, up into the stars. They were lovely and the wind blew gently, blowing against her hair from behind. Strands of it brushed the sides of her face as they fluttered with the wind.

The realization of it all, of her answers, surprisingly it wasn't painful. Somehow, it was all gentle, everything inside her was calm. So soothed, that she didn't mind the winds cool chill.

It was just as everyone had told her, she was dangerous. She was unstable. Glancing back at the wreckage she'd left in her wake, she didn't think it was any short of true. Yet, just as much as she was dangerous, she was tame. Knew how to calm herself, and that's how she'd left.

She couldn't remember where she'd escaped from, but only knew she didn't want to go back. She created another her, and both parts of her wanted change. So they'd left. She couldn't remember anything else. None of the details of how she'd escaped, and somehow she didn't want too. It was as if the other part of her was keeping such bad memories from staining who she was now.

Whatever happened back then, it was all under lock and key. She'd locked herself away, she knew how unstable she was. Yet all she'd wanted was a chance, a real chance. Real friends, and family. She'd wanted to be truly loved and valued, in a way that wasn't for what she could do and how she did it. This was who she was now; she was Rin Kagamine and all Rin Kagamine. Len had given her that name, a life, a home.

So even though she couldn't remember exactly who she'd been with before, she was truly happy. All because she finally had someone to be truly happy with.