Unsettled

Chapter 10

"I've talked to Dr. Tanaka and he said you're doing good. Maybe next week they will release you from here," Nodoka said as she placed the groceries on the mini table. She looked at Ranma and she understands his pain and longing.

"I don't want to go back to Osaka," he stated not even inquiring if Nodoka would bring him there or not.

"If that's what you want then. You're going to stay with me?" she asked.

"No! I'll live on my own," he answered firmly.

Nodoka could no longer protest. She knew her son had already decided and once he did, it can no longer be changed. Just like seven years ago…

Flashback..

"I'm sorry, Akane," Ranma said as he walked away from the aisle leaving a stunned Akane.

Nodoka had never anticipated this thing to happen. She would have expected his ex-fiancees to do something to stop this wedding but not his own son. He wanted this to happen; he wished for it. But he was the one who turned around from his wishes.

She ran after Ranma to know his reasons, to understand why he's doing this. She caught him in his bedroom, packing his things.

"Where are you going?" Nodoka angrily asked.

"I'm leaving…," he answered then continued packing his things.

"I thought you love her, Ranma."

"I do."

"Then why did you do this? You've left her in the altar and made her looked like a fool, Ranma."

"I didn't mean to."

"What's wrong with you, son. You've crushed the poor girl's heart."

"It wasn't supposed to be like that… I was going to tell her about it the moment I came home but everything happened so quickly and the minute I knew it, I was already standing in front of the altar. I did want to push it through but I don't want her to commit the biggest mistake of her life."

"What mistake is it? Marrying you?"

"Yes. Marrying me would be Akane's greatest mistake because she doesn't love me."

"Did she tell you?"

"No!"

"How did you know?"

"Because I know. Don't ask me how, I just know," he said ending the conversation.

Ranma left immediately and the Saotome family soon followed him. He never mentioned any of it ever again. Nodoka, though still confused and felt sorry for what her son did, no longer bother Ranma for what happened. She knew it was wrong but she could not tell him off because she was afraid of losing him again.

End of Flashback…

"Aunty, are you feeling fine?" Akane asked worriedly, noticing how fatigued she was.

Indeed, Nodoka had been tired. Ever since the accident she wasn't able to have a good night sleep. When Ranma woke up, she got more exhausted because she had to attend to every little thing Ranma needs and also with his therapy.

"I'm feeling fine. I just need to have some fresh air then I'll be back with my normal self," Nodoka said trying to hide her exhaustion.

"Ok… Just don't overdo it. Ranma is already lonely losing his wife, I don't want to see him get lonelier because of you."

"Akane, I'm not worried about that. I know you'll take care of him," the older woman said as she placed her hand to the younger one.

The days in the hospital have become something like that. Nodoka was always there to assist him with his therapy. Akane would come and help him and sometimes they talked for hours up until Akane has to leave. He was enjoying her company everyday and everyday he felt guilty for betraying Hitomi. When Akane would leave, he would returned to sulking and being aloof to everyone. Even when friends visit him, they don't cheer him up the way Akane's presence does.

The day before Ranma would be release, Akane and he were talking in the hospital's garden.

"Ranma, what are your plans after your therapy?" she innocently asked.

"I'm going to Yokohama. I'm going to work there," he said sounding so sure about it.

"Yokohama? That's not really far from here. Why there? Don't you want to go back to Osaka?"

"NO! It's too painful to go back there for now."

"I see…"

Then silence enveloped the two. For a several minutes, the quietness between them made each uncomfortable but they just stood there ground and waited for each other to take action. Akane was the first one to break the peace.

"Do you miss her, I mean, do you miss Hitomi?" she suddenly asked.

Ranma looked at her and smiled at that. They are too different and yet at times like this he felt like they were the same person. It was funny to hear from her the exact question Hitomi asked him way back when they were together.

Akane was waiting for him to answer but it seemed that Ranma could not. "You don't have to answer it. It was after all a stupid question," she said.

"A lot… I miss her a lot," he said with a heavy sigh. He really did missed her but every time Akane was with him the emptiness that he feels would disappear. That is why he needed to get away from her.

"Did you loved me even just a little, Ranma?"

Ranma was taken aback with the sudden change of topic. He knew she would asked something about the past but he did not expect that question. Somehow it was too bold for her to do that.

"Stupid me…. I already know the answer so don't bother to answer it. I better go now," Akane said then hastily ran away from him. She had some hint on the answer of Ranma as she could see it on his face and it would probably be a big 'No' or 'a little' , after all she wasn't the woman he chose to marry yet in some way she wanted to hear it from his very own lips. She wanted to know because for all these years Akane was second guessing his reasons.

Ranma's hand immediately caught her wrist and he held it tightly making Akane face him. She was reluctant to face him but she had no choice but to look at him.

"You wanna know the truth, Akane? Do you?" he asked but not really waiting for her to answer him.

"I love you more than anything in the world… even Hitomi knows that but she didn't care if I love her less or more. She just wants to love me. And it wounds my heart to know that she should be the one I should love infinitely but I can't because I've already gave it to you," he said earnestly.

Akane could not react to it. The words of Ranma just kept on ringing on her head. "He loves me. He loves me. He LOVES ME!" she thought but as she grasp the whole thing, she felt her anger rising.

"Damn you, Ranma Saotome! How can you say that you love me when you jilted me in the altar. When you left me for seven years with no explanations just the words 'I'm sorry'. How dare you?"

"Because I have to let you go. And… you don't love me…"

"I don't love you? Why did I go through with the engagement and wedding, if I didn't care? Why would I?"

"Because of duty, of obligation… because your father's honor is at stake. Isn't that the truth, Akane?" he argued.

"Stupid! What a stupid answer. Do you think so shallow of me to believe that I would actually marry you because of those things? How can you be so stupid? Why would you believe that I'm just going to marry you because of those things?"

"Because there's nothing more that I can believe into. You've always been protesting about our engagement and yet you've gone through with it because of your father. After thinking about it, weighing things out, I've realized a lot of things."

"Realized what, Saotome? Realized that you're a coward and you can't go through with the wedding because you'll lose your other fiancées and you'll going to be stuck with a macho-chick tomboy who doesn't even know how to cook. Have you also considered that I'm not the only one who have protested about our engagement? You weren't really jumping up and down either but you still go on with it. And that's because you love me? Is that how you love, Ranma? Hurting the people you love?!?" Akane blurted out with all those emotions she had kept for all those years.

"I did it because I thought, no, I know you love Ryoga," that was the only reason Ranma has. Seven years ago, it was so believable that he was convinced with it but as he was talking to Akane, he realized what a big mistake he had done.

"You thought? When did you become me? Oh, Kami… I can't continue this…," she said as she was about to burst another batch of tears. She tried desperately to get loose from Ranma's grip but it was useless. Ranma wasn't going to let her go, not without talking about what had happened.

"No, I wont let you go. Its better to let everything in the open so that…"

Akane had already intervened not letting Ranma to finish what he was saying.

"And what Ranma? To realized that you've made a mistake because you never trusted me. Because you are so self-centered that instead of confronting me about my feelings, you chose to save face without knowing how I felt. You chose to runaway from all of it because you're afraid to know the truth… Thank God, I didn't marry you because I would have been stuck with a coward," she said as she once more tried to escape from him. This was too much for Akane. She had dreamt about this confrontation but she never thought that it would be this painful to relive the past.

"What about the kiss, Akane? I admit that I might be wrong about some things but I was never wrong when I saw you kissed Ryoga. The moment I saw you kissed him, you've broke my heart into pieces. Then I convinced myself that we are not meant to be because seeing you with him made me think that maybe you belong to him," Ranma said gravely. He was serious and he meant everything but his eyes were still devoid of any emotion.

"What kiss?" Akane immediately asked, as she was confused of it.

"Don't act as if you don't remember. I know you do… because I can still do remember it as if it was just yesterday."