Here comes the - what?
Chapter 10
Jonny had been seated at the nurses' station, electronically updating that days worth of notes to patients files, for nearly an hour. He had watched Jac leave forty-five minutes ago and had tried desperately to catch her eye as she walked past but she just wouldn't let that happen. He had stared after her as she entered the lift and he could have sworn that she had glanced briefly back at him before the doors closed, obscuring her from view. He had royally screwed up in the peace garden with his comments earlier but he had been so angry at her for making things difficult, not that it justified his behaviour thinking about it now. He had been heartless and cruel and now he would have to pay the price for his stupidity.
Jonny had just over half an hour before the end of his shift and willed the time to go faster; he wanted to leave the ward, leave the hospital and head to the pub with his best mate. He hated that he hadn't been spending a lot of time with Mo recently but Bonnie was so clingy, needy and demanding that he was forced to put her first; Jonny realised now just how suffocating she had been. He missed their long chats over a could of pints, but since Bonnie re-entered his life, he just didn't seem to have the time anymore.
Jonny was so immersed in flicking through the theater lists for the next few days to notice the 'ping' of the lift or the person who strolled out of it and on to the ward. He didn't realise that Bonnie was approaching him from behind. That was until she stood pressed up against the back of his chair and placed her hands over his eyes and whispered in his ear.
"Guess who?" Her sickly sweet, overly false, innocent giggle made him jump, physically cringe and recoil away from her.
"Jesus Christ, Bonnie, what are you doing? We're in a hospital, not our own home, you need to act professional and not like you're in a playground. Why are you back up here?"
Bonnie was taken aback by how Jonny was speaking to her. Never before had he spoken to her like she was nothing more than a pathetic, insubordinate human being. She was his fiancee, not a common criminal, he had no right to speak to her in this way.
"The patient crisis is over and Sacha doesn't need me now that they're not over run. And there's no need to be so rude to me, Jonny, I haven't done anything wrong."
"Nothing wrong? Bonnie you caused even more problems between me and Jac by making things up and voicing them to her."
"Seriously, Jonny?" She folded her arms and looked squarely at him. They were speaking in raised voices and both nurses and patients alike were now stopping and listening to the two of them arguing. "I can't believe you've let Jac get into your head. She's convincing you to turn against me. Can't you see that she's poison?"
"Stop it, Bonnie!" Jonny practically shouted and the whole ward came to a deathly silence. Neither of them realised just how loud they had been arguing until Mo came jogging over to them and alerted the two to the fact.
"How about we tone it down and take this somewhere else, yeah?"
Bonnie eyed her with a look of pure hatred. "How about you mind your own bloody business and stop getting involved with things that don't concern you."
"Bonnie!" Jonny spoke her name through gritted teeth, afraid of opening his mouth for fear of lashing out at her. Before he could say anything else to her, Mo spoke up.
"Right, lets get one thing straight, Nurse Wallis, whilst you're a member of this ward, you'll do as I say. You're causing a disruption and it's upsetting the patients. Take your personal problems off this ward before I put in a formal complaint in against you."
"Who do you think you are, Mo? You're nothing but a pathetic woman whining over her lost friend."
Mo inched towards Bonnie, lowering her voice to a growl. Jonny stepped to the side to allow her access to his fiancee.
"Whilst Naylor's not on shift and Elliot's in theater, I run the ward and you answer to me. If I say to go somewhere else to have your argument, you do it. Understand?"
Bonnie was about to respond but before she could even open her mouth, Jonny gripped her upper arm and dragged her towards the staff room. Mo didn't follow, but she waited until the door was slammed shut behind them before resuming her rounds. Once inside though, Bonnie wrenched her arm out of Jonnys grip and slapped him round the face.
"How dare you! How dare you grab me like that and force me away."
Jonny held his hand to his stinging face. He glared at Bonnie before breathing deeply.
"She's a senior member of staff and you speak to her like that? You're out of order Bonnie and you're well on your way to being fired."
Bonnie moved away from him, afraid that if she was too close she would hit out at him again. "Like you even care. We were fine, Jonny, perfectly happy until Emma came home from the hospital. Jac;s caused nothing but trouble between us because she doesn't let us see Emma together, hell she doesn't let me see her at all. It's causing tension between us but you refuse to see it. She's in your head, telling you I'm no good and you're listening! Even Mo's been doing the same."
"I wouldn't know what Mo's been saying because I've barely spent any time with her. Any spare time away from here and away from you, I rightfully spend with my daughter. Emma is the most important person on this Earth to me and I won't let anybody ruin that, not even you."
Bonnie looked hurt, betrayed and disappointed all in one. She lowered her voice and pleaded with him.
"This is why it would be better to move! We would be able to have Emma for longer periods of time, be a proper family. There would be no Jac breathing down our necks and the only time we would see her would be when we picked Emma up and dropped her off! Please, Jonny, why can't you just consider how much happier we could be?"
Jonny looked at Bonnie is disbelief. "Why can't you get it in your head that that's not going to happen? I already miss out on so much with Emma because of you and Jac and it;s not fair. Did you know Emma had starting teething?"
A faint look of guilt flashed across Bonnies face but Jonny seemed not to have noticed. She shook her head and spoke somewhat quietly. "No."
"Well, she has, and I didn't even find out until today. This is a milestone in Emma's development and I'm late in finding out about it, all because I'm not a hundred percent focused on her."
"That's not your fault, it's Jac's. She should of let you know!"
Jonny pulled out his phone and held it up to her. "She did but I didn't get it the text. It wasn't on my phone. Either it just didn't come through or my phone isn't working properly."
"Or maybe Jac just didn't send it to you." Bonnie continued to push on with bad-mouthing Jac, hoping that Jonny wouldn't realise the truth. "How can you be so sure that she isn't lying to you and pushing you away from Emma so she can use it against you if she needs to?"
"Because she proved it to me, showed me the supposed text in her out box. The point is, Bonnie, that I haven't been as invested in Emma's upbringing as I should be. The constant arguments between me and Jac, the verbal fights between you and Jac, our increased arguments, it's all getting too much."
"What are you saying, Jonny?" Tears started forming in her eyes as she stared at him.
"I'm saying... that I really need to think about and decide whether us getting married is the right thing to do."
Jonny left her standing in the staff room. As he closed the door with a bang behind him, he heard her break out in a fit of sobs. He breathed deeply, knowing that he may have just made the smartest decision of his life. He wasn't lying to Jac earlier when he told her that he didn't want to marry Bonnie, and having just voiced his concerns to the woman in question, he was even more convinced that the wedding would be cancelled within the next could of days.
He headed straight for his locker, changed out of his scrubs in to his jeans and a jumper, grabbed his bag and left the room. His shift ended ten minutes ago and he made a beeline straight for Mo.
"I'm leaving. I'll get the beers in yeah?"
Mo nodded and he shot off towards the lift, wanting to get as far away from the ward as possible. He walked in the direction of Albies without really paying attention and before he knew it, he was sitting in one of the corner booths with two pints waiting on the table in front of him.
He was barely able to take a sip before Mo came strolling through the door and sat herself down opposite him.
"Right, Jonny Mac, you said you wanted to talk about everything, so talk. But first, what the HELL gives you the right to throw the first few weeks of Emma's life back in Jac's face?"
A look of shame crossed Jonnys face. "Not my finest moment. I was angry and I lashed out, by the time I realised what I'd said, it was too late. Why did you think I'm fighting the shift changes? I deserve it - and so does Bonnie."
"I think it's time we discussed your relationship with her, because the day she started at Holby, you were all ready to move in with Jac and prepare for Emma's birth. The next thing I know is that Jac's keeping to her office and Bonnie was going about saying how she's finally with the love of her life. How the hell did that happen in the space of a day?"
Jonny swallowed then took a deep, steadying breath. Explaining the last seven months to Mo could take all night; so much had happened and it all needed going over but he was prepared to do it. He needed to do it.
"Right, so, Jac and me were moving in, I had her keys and we were getting along great and the Bonnie started as an agency nurse. Jac was so horrible to her; putting her down, causing arguments, embarrassing her in front of the patients and the other members of staff. she was my friend, I wasn't going to let Jac treat her like that. Moving in with Jac would have said that I was okay with her treating one of my friends in that way, and I couldn't do it."
"She was carrying your baby. Hormones do strange things to us women and maybe she was jealous?" Mo knew that Jac had indeed been jealous, they had been over this topic a few months back.
Jonny snorted. "Yeah right. I was angry at Jac for treating Bonnie so badly on her first day that after I gave Jac her keys back, I took Bonnie to the pub, here actually. Saying that we had a few too many would be an understatement. We got drunk and went back to my place, and sex and fell asleep. That in itself was a huge mistake. I mean, who has a one night stand with one of their mates?"
"You apparently." Mo started to take a mouthful of her pint before pausing and looking curiously at Jonny, working something out in her mind. "Hang on, if you only had a one night stand, why did she go around boasting about your relationship the next day?"
He nodded. "I wondered how long it would take you to ask that. When I woke up the next morning, I could barely remember what had happened. Then Bonnie walked in to the room with breakfast saying how much she enjoyed last night and that she couldn't believe that I felt the same way about her after all the years and that now worked in the same hospital we could be together. I was so stunned by the way she was looking at me that I didn't have the heart to tell her that I didn't feel the same way."
"So you lied and led her on?"
Jonny had a look of guilt on his face. "Not exactly. I did have feelings for her at one point but never acted on them. I did fall in love with her though, I never lied about that. The more time we spent together, the more I fell for her. I didn't realise how much time I really did spend with her though, not until it was pointed out to me." They both sipped away at theirs pints before Jonny continued. "Jac was still being Jac towards the both of us and... shamefully... I only asked Bonnie to marry me out of spite."
Mo didn't know whether to laugh, be disappointed or do both. She knew that things weren't all that they seemed.
"Wow, Jonny Mac. That's just... I don't even know what to say."
"I know, I'm a terrible human being. When Emma was born and Jac was so distant it angered me. She was so ill and Jac couldn't even be bothered to be there for her. How cou-"
"Jonny." Mo interrupted him. Her voice was strong and forceful and it made him cringe slightly. "Jac had her reasons and you know full well what they were. I know all about you little rant at her today and the fact that you're still using that against her is disgraceful. You have no idea just how much she went through but I do, so does Sacha and so does Elliot. You have no right to judge her. She needed you and you weren't there when it mattered. Yes you were there with Emma and you did this and you did that. You had Bonnie supporting you but who did Jac have?"
"She didn't want anyone!"
"You're wrong." Mo pointed a finger at him, glaring at him with blazing eyes. "She needed and wanted you. Yeah you were going through the same thing but imagine how she felt as a mother. A mother who carried that baby and couldn't protect her like a mother should. You know she blamed herself? Kept saying that it's her punishment, that it's a sign saying that she didn't deserve something so precious."
Jonny stared at the table whilst Mo spoke. He couldn't believe he was back to blaming Jac, had she not explained it to him earlier?
"Jac went through so much those last two months or pregnancy, and has been through even more since Emma was born. Jonny you ignored her when she was seriously unwell and them didn't even notice that she took a week off."
"I know that now." He looked over to Mo, who was still glaring at him. "What exactly happened?"
"I shouldn't be the one telling you. You need to talk to her about it." Mo looked uneasy; she had promised Jac that she wouldn't tell him... but them again, she had technically already told him and Mo would only be filling in the details.
"Please, Mo? Jac wouldn't tell me even if I asked, and she;d have every reason not to."
She relented. "Fine. Fine, but you need to get another round in."
Jonny nodded, jumped up and headed straight to the bar. He came back two minutes later with their pints and tossed a packet of pork scratchings to Mo.
"You know me so well." She tore open the packet and popped one of it's contents in her mouth. "Mmm, so good!"
Jonny waited patiently for her to finish her snack. He watched her lick the crumbs from her fingers and shake the bag over he mouth before she started talking again.
"Right. What I'm about to tell you, I'm only gunna say once, so listen up. You need to understand that she all but begged me not to tell you. Jac was about seven and a half months when this happened; she'd gone to the ladies, been in there for fifteen minutes and hadn't come back out so I went to see if she was alright. I found her, she'd had a bleed, a big bleed and passed out. We, Elliot and I, got her down to Maternity; she was dehydrated, slightly anemic and they couldn't find where the bleed came from. When she regained consciousness, she was terrified."
Jonny stared at her, completely stunned and lost for words. How could he not know that she went through that? He was annoyed that Mo didn't tell him, but had said Jac asked her not to, he just didn't understand why.
"Why didn't she tell me? She should have told me. Why didn't she?" His voice came out in a barely audible whisper, but Mo was partially sympathetic towards her friend.
"She tried, Jonny. She tried calling you when she was first able, tried again all through the night she was kept in and then again when she was discharged the next day. I was there; I stayed with her, watched her face every time you didn't answer your phone. I drove her to Elliots', she agreed to stay with him for the next week, she asked me not to tell you, said that you obviously didn't care and it would be easier you not knowing. I agreed because... well she was right. Jac must have called you about thirty times that night and you didn't answer a single call. Why, because it was Jac that was calling?"
"I didn't know that she did! I don't remember ever getting that many calls from her." Jonny was confused; he really didn't remember missing all those calls.
"You probably don't remember because you turned up late to work the next morning with a stinking hangover, barely able to do anything. You and Bonnie both spent the best part of your lunch hour hiding in a storage cupboard hooked up to drips in an attempt to replenish lost nutrients and replace liquids. You were so busy with your new girlfriend that you forgot about your pregnant ex. Are you seriously telling me that you didn't have any missed calls on your phone?"
Jonny thought about it. "So that means it happened the night we went out for Bonnies birthday. I remember having far too much to drink but I don't... remember..." He racked his brain for memories of that night and then it hit him, and his face drained of all colour.
"What? Jonny?" Mo started to worry.
"Bonnie. She... she borrowed my phone to call her mum, her was out of battery. As far as I can remember, she had it all night and gave it back to me the next morning... there was nothing on there when I checked. Jac said that Emma was teething, even showed me the text on her own phone, but it wasn't on mine. God, Mo, you don't think - "
Mo nodded. "Yes, I do. To be honest, Jonny, it doesn't surprise me. You don't respond to half of the message I send you so I stopped bothering. You need to talk to her and find out."
"Yeah, I'll do that in the morning. You know, before I left I told her that I really needed to think about whether or not I still want to marry her. Truth is, I don't need to think about it, I've already made up my mind. Listen, if it comes to it, can I stay at yours for a few days? I need to talk to my landlord."
"Sure." Mo finished her pint and started to gather up her things. "Did you ever get round to putting Bonnies name on the tenancy?"
"I don't know, that's why I need to talk to the landlord. I need to upgrade to a two bed anyway for when Emma stays."
"Alright." Mo moved from her side of the table and walked round to his to give him a hug. "I'm glad we finally got to talk, Just get this all sorted, Jonny Mac, your life will be so much easier when you do."
"Yeah, thanks, Mo." He watched after her as she left him sitting there. He wasn't due in to work until the next evening, meaning that he would have some time in the morning to speak to Bonnie and sort a few things out. He finished his pint and left the pub knowing that by this time tomorrow, he would be a free man.