A/N: Hope you enjoy this chapter and have a great weekend!

Disclaimer: Same as chapter 1-9.

One's life can change in less than a month. People are born and die and the world keeps turning as if nothing has happened. It's a neverending cycle of actions and results. In this very house a young woman finds out that her whole life has been a lie from the moment she drew her first breath. She belongs to this once foreign environment more than she could have imagined and just like that, a new page is written in the book of her life.

In this very house, old, small and damp, a mother cries and begs for forgiveness.

Forgive me because I am your mother. Forgive me because I lied, because I gave you away. Forgive me because I once thought that abandoning you was the only way. If your father hadn't come to me with a solution...forgive me, my child.

Elsie had always been strong woman but now she felt the like weakest of creatures. She told Anna the whole story. No concealments, no half truths. The whole, sad tale. She didn't really have to. It would have been enough if she had only said, 'I loved your father a long time ago and the result was you. I gave you to his wife so you could have a good life, a family, a home.' And she did say that, but also everything else.

She was twenty five when Simon Smith took over the factory after his father's death. He was thirty, devastatingly handsome and very rich. She had fallen for him, and with time and secret smiles she knew he felt the same. Or at least that's what he had told her. Until this day, she didn't know for sure if he had spoken the truth.

Many smiles and furtive kisses later, on a hot summer's eve, when work was done and the factory was closed, they met in one of the storage rooms and that's when the heartbreak began. In the space of one month he was married to Amelia Norton and Elsie found out she was pregnant.

Simon's eyes had shown the terror he felt as she told him the news, and he begged her to keep it a secret. 'Don't you know someone...who can help you with...that?'

'I won't do it,' she told him with resolution in her voice. She shook her finger in his face and said that she would regret that one night forever but not her own child. 'A person with your own blood will pass right next to you and you won't even know it,' she had whispered at last. 'You are no better than a street rat.'

He had begged her forgiveness, as much as she was begging now, and a few weeks later he came up with a solution. 'I'll name the child and my wife will raise it as her own.'

But the solution had one condition. 'Only if you hire me as the nanny.'

The deal was sealed. They travelled up north until the baby was born. Amelia Smith would make their life a living hell, but Elsie never regretted her decision. Not even now.

'I will never regret what I did,' was the last Anna heard from her. 'Lies are wrong but I don't regret any of them. Look at you.' Elsie had smiled. 'So beautiful, so kind. I've raised you, saw you becoming the loving person you are today. All those lies brought you here. Forgive me but I will never regret what I did.'

Anna had run out of the door, furious, desperate and feeling absolutely betrayed. Elsie had tried to stop her but John advised her not to do it.

'She needs time. Her own time. Something she's never had before.'

'Please. Take care of my girl, John Bates,' the maid pleaded before leaving.

John sat down at the table, sad expression, tired eyes, waiting for the right moment to go after Anna.

And there she was, exactly where he expected. Sitting on the bench in that secret place of theirs, that seemed a world away from troubles and heartbreak. Maybe that's what she sought out when she ran here. Maybe she wanted to be gone from all this, even from him, if only for a few moments. But the world was still out there and she was still part of it. A breeze was blowing through the loose strands of her golden hair. She was facing towards the city, tears stained her face and her blue eyes were red and swollen. Her throat was sore, and her breathing was heavy and ragged.

'Anna...' he spoke then, to let her know he was near. The day was darkening around them, shadows returning to match her troubled soul.

'You knew,' she stated, her voice raspy.

'Please...' He could hear the accusation in her voice.

'You knew and you didn't tell me. You knew and you saw me there, every night. I worried, I suffered, and you knew!'

'Listen, Anna,' he reached for her and she stood up, trying to run away from his arms but she had no strength to do so. Did she really want to? Maybe all she needed was his embrace, as much as she tried to deny it.

'It was not my secret to tell.' He grabbed her wrists first and then pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her, placing his hands on her back as she cried into his shoulder. 'I couldn't tell you. You know that.'

She sobbed and he felt his shirt, wet on his skin from her tears. 'I know,' she managed to say. 'I know.'

'Look at me.' He lifted her chin with his fingers. 'You will be fine.'

'I spent my life thinking that my mother didn't love me...and I was right.' She gave him a small sad smile. 'She resents me. She wishes me dead. My brother died so young and he was her real child...she's always wished it was me instead.'

'Don't say that,' he begged her.

'But it's true!'

'Mrs Smith may wish all she wants but there's nothing she can do. You grew up, you survived, you are here now, and you are very loved, and she's there, all alone in an unhappy marriage, and an empty house. How could she resent a child, Anna? Only someone with no heart. She could have loved you, instead, she chose a life of bitterness and shadows. Do you really care about how she feels?'

She swallowed hard. 'She was the only mother I knew...I love her.'

'You still do?' he asked, astonished at her feelings.

She shrugged her shoulders unsure. 'Maybe...not anymore. After what she did to you...'

'And what about Elsie?'

She took a deep furious breath. 'She lied to me.'

'Elsie loves you, more than anything, and that's why she did what she did.'

'Why didn't she just raise me by herself? Why did she have to give me away like that? You don't give your child to another, do you? She saw how mother treated me and she did nothing!'

'Anna, you are being unfair.'

She looked at him angrily.

'She was a young woman, just like you are now. She had no husband, no man that people knew of. If she would have you here...she would have to end up as a...you know.'

Anna looked at her feet, taking one moment to think about his words.

'She fell in love with the wrong man and he took advantage of her innocence and feelings. She didn't want you to starve to death and that would probably happen. She had no family, no one. The only way to have you well and near her was to do what she did.'

Anna listened attentively, tears gathering in her eyes, still trying to understand what had happened.

'And she paid her price. How many times did she have to put up with her mistress' humiliation? How many times did she have to stop herself from protecting you from her? Or do you think it's easy to call your own child Miss? To hear your own daughter calling a cold hearted woman mother? Now you tell me, if you think back to those days...who was there to love you and to care of your wounds and fevers? Your mother, Anna. Your real mother. The same woman who had to leave all she knew behind to live in a place she wasn't welcomed just for your sake.'

Anna began to sob again.

'She could have just given you away and left. Have her life back and forget about you, but she didn't do that. It was either you and her here or there.'

'What if she's just saying it now?' she asked. Her whole life had been a lie. Everyone around her lied to her. Why would Elsie tell the truth now?

'Because she wants to be here for you. She's always been.'

Anna dried her tears with the back of her hands. 'I never knew the feel of a mother's kiss on my cheek, or a word of affection. I've always been there,' she pointed at the darkest corner. 'In the shadow. I always felt like that and I didn't know why until today. I was no older than your William when I understood the hate in my mother's eyes. Sometimes it would swallow me alive and I couldn't bear to look at her. She would speak to me and all I would hear was the ridicule and judging. It's easy for you to talk, Mr Bates, but you never tasted the loathing in your mother's expression. And I am glad for that...it's an awful feeling. Worse than this.' She showed him her red scarred knuckles. 'This is nothing.'

He took her hands gently in his and brought them to his lips, barely touching the broken skin. 'And I shall take care of these as I beg you to let me heal your heart.'

Anna managed a small smile before falling into the warmth of his embrace once again.

'Do you promise me? Because I feel so much turmoil in my heart, so much anguish, and I hate feeling this way. I hate feeling this resentment, this restlessness eating me up like a plague,' she sighed into his chest. 'I need peace in my life. In our lives.'

'That's it, Anna. No more heartbreak, I promise you.' John kissed the top of her head, lingering in the silkiness of her locks and her perfume of lavender.

But how could he be so wrong? John Bates, a man of his word... This would be the first promise he wouldn't be able to keep.

XXXXXX

'Come here,' John whispered in the darkness, sitting up on his mattress. 'Sit here with me?' He tapped the little space next to him. 'Why can't you sleep?'

Anna sat down beside him, his arm coming around her shoulders instantly.

'Are you really asking?' She shook her head as she leaned against his sturdy frame.

'You know the truth now, you know the worst of it, you should rest,' he advised, knowing that it probably wouldn't matter. Very often the truth left more sleepless nights behind than lies.

She remained silent, trying to avoid all thought and just enjoying the way his scent wrapped itself around her. Filling her senses to the brink of oblivion. He was the only one who could make her feel so at peace after the wildest of storms. She had fallen for the right man.

'How're your hands?' He broke the silence a moment later, and she realised that for that one moment all thought had indeed vanished away. All thought but him.

'I think they are starting to heal,' she look down at her scars.

'Because everything heals, with time. Even your fair skin. So fragile now,' he brought one of her hands up to his lips and kissed her palm. '... but it will become stronger.'

'You are trying to prove a point but I would ask you not do do it,' she managed a small smile. 'I have a right to be distressed about all this, at least for tonight. I am worthy of a night of anguish for a lifetime of lies.'

He smiled. 'Of course you are,' his lips grazing at her silken hair.

Then it echoed through the darkness of the small house. Two sets of coughing. Dry and hard, almost convulsing. First the mother and then the baby.

'Your sister has been coughing a lot lately,' Anna said, worried. 'And today little Sarah was coughing so much as well.'

'Yes.' John grimaced, tightening his grip around her shoulders. 'I fear to think what can possibly come from that.'

'Why?' she looked up at him. 'Do you think they are ill?'

He sighed, 'I don't even like to say it.'

Anna placed her hand on his chest. 'Mary is a strong woman. She'll be alright.'

'Matthew was a strong man as well...'

Anna leaned her head against him again and he wrapped his other arm around her. Sitting up on his old mattress, they both fell asleep together. In the morning their bodies would ache from this position but at least, Anna had been able to rest.

XXXXXX

'How is the babe?' John asked, leaning on the doorframe of the bedroom.

Anna looked at him for one second before looking back at Mary. 'She's sleeping now.' Anna took a deep breath. 'She's burning up though.'

'Anna please,' Mary whispered. 'Let me hold her.'

The young woman walked towards the bed with the baby in her arms, placing her on her mother's restless chest. 'You should try to sleep as well.'

Mary nodded but she didn't do as Anna advised. Instead she stared at his daughter's pale face as the little girl breathed heavily and John decided it was better to leave them alone.

In the main room, he sat on a chair. His niece and nephew were playing with a rag doll on his mattress. His son was at work, selling papers under the sun… He looked at his hands, suddenly defeated.

'I found a cloth with blood.' Anna whispered behind him.

'I know...I've seen it before,' he rested his forehead on his hand. 'I tried to ignore it. I tried to convince myself everything was going to be alright... I was a bloody fool.'

'Mr Bates-'

'She's dying, Anna!' His voice rose in desperation but he immediately remembered the children were there and they could hear everything. 'She's dying, Anna.' he whispered. 'And I sat here and did nothing. This is my fault. I can't even look after myself let alone someone else.'

'That's enough.' Anna sat next to him, taking one of his hands in hers. 'I won't sit here and listen to you speak such nonsense. This is not your fault. The last thing you want is for your sister to die. How can it be your fault?'

'Because I saw her getting worse and I did nothing.'

'Mr Bates...' Anna looked down at their hands, taking a deep breath before continuing. 'If...if she's...there's nothing you can do, or nothing you could have done. You know how this is...it spreads like fire.'

John faced her before looking over at the children. 'I am so scared, Anna. I don't want my sister to die.'

Anna stood up from the chair and came near him. She wrapped her arms around his shoulders and he gladly accepted the embrace, leaning his head against her chest and relishing in the feeling of her warmth through the layers of clothing. She kissed his hair then, the smell of his sweat and fear almost breaking her into a sob. She told him everything was going to be alright and that no matter what, she would always be by his side. The tighten grip around her waist gave his doubts away. Yes, she would always be by his side, he knew that too well, now...that everything was going to be alright, he didn't believe that for a second.

XXXXXX

'How are they, Doctor?' Anna asked nervously as John sat in a chair trying his best to keep his tea down.

The doctor looked from Anna to John and sighed heavily. 'I'm afraid it's consumption.'

'Both of them?' John rose, desperately trying to hold his emotions in check.

'I'm afraid so,' Doctor Clarkson nodded apologetically. 'You should make watercress soup and tea. It does wonders for your lungs, but other than that, there's nothing else we can do. Your sister's lungs are very weak, she's been coughing blood for some time now...'

'And Sarah?' John's voice was heavy with worry.

The doctor shrug his shoulders. 'There's nothing I can do.'

John brought one hand to his mouth, dragging it along his chin. 'Thank you for coming, Doctor,' he said at last when other words failed him.

'There's no need for that, I wish I could do more for both of them. If something happens you can call me again but as I said, there's not much I can do.'

John reached in his pocket and the doctor brought his hand up. 'Please, Mr Bates. I told Miss Smith to call me whenever it was needed, as a friend more than a doctor, and I'll leave as a friend as well.'

'If that's the case then, thank you so much.' The two men shook hands.

'Oh! I almost forgot. Don't let the other children come in contact with them. The house is small, I understand it's difficult but we can't let it spread more than it already has. You two as well. Be careful.'

The doctor left and John sat back in his chair, downcast, and suddenly very weak. 'This can't be happening,' he whispered.

'They will be alright, Mr Bates, you will see.' Anna came and placed a hand on his shoulder. 'Tell me where I can find watercress and I'll make a strong soup for tonight. Mary has taught me how.'

'Don't you see...this is how Matthew started and...the children can't sleep in there anymore.'

'We can put quilts on the floor just like I do and they can sleep here with us. Just until Mary and Sarah are better, and they will be. Come, Mr Bates,' she approached him and took his hand in hers. 'Don't let yourself fall into such thoughts. Your sister is not Matthew.'

He nodded, running a hand through his already mussed hair. Then he looked at Anna and he couldn't help but smile as he thought of her words. In such distressing times she always managed to give him a glimpse of happiness. 'When will you start calling me John?'

She looked at him and chuckled. 'You once said that Mr Bates was all that I could call you.'

'That was before...all this.'

'Well then, I will call you John when we are husband and wife.'

He shook his head lovingly forgetting for a moment his troubles. 'Alright then, come with me.' He said standing up and putting on his cap.

'Where are we going?'

'To the market. We need watercress for soup.'

They checked on Mary and Sarah one more time. They were both asleep. The children were playing with outside with their friends and John asked one of the mothers to look after them while they were away.

XXXXXXX

The market was busy. The smell of dung and damp air was all around them as a crowd of merchants shouted and bargained to their customers. John had taken her hand and told her not to let it go as they made their way into the middle of the big mass of boisterous, pushing people and cattle. Spirits were high and hurried. Women's dresses drug the ground lifting the dust beneath their feet. There were children wildly running up and down, and after a while John brought Anna ahead of him, placing his hands on her shoulders and walking behind her as a bodyguard.

'This is why I didn't want you to bring your bag,' he shouted in her ear. 'Those boys are here to catch ladies by surprise.'

'Mother...' she shook her head. 'I've heard stories about how these boys grab stuff from your pockets. Be careful!' she shouted back.

'Oh, don't worry about me. If one of these lads tries to snatch from my pocket he'll go home without his little fingers,' John laughed squeezing her shoulders, making her giggle in return. 'Look!' he pointed out. 'There's watercress in that stall.'

'What do we have here?!' A tall skinny man came up to them. 'A beautiful lass like you buying in my stall? What an honour!' He bowed to her. 'What can I help you with?'

Anna stiffened and backed up against John and said nothing.

'Two handfuls of watercress,' John requested, eyeing the man with a stern warning expression on his face .

'Oh I see how it is!' The skinny man raised his brow at John while he picked the watercress. 'A true gentleman, coming with his other half to the market. Very rare I must say,' handing their purchase to Anna. 'Smart too. You can't let such a prize walk around these streets unguarded.'

'How much?' John asked, his voice loud and dry. He better stop looking at her that way...he better stop….

'Thrupence, sir.'

The money was exchanged and John possessively threw his arm around Anna's shoulder and hurried her away from that stall.

'But Mr Bates, we need carrots and potatoes as well,' she said, trying to make him go back.

'Yes, but let's buy it from another stall. That man was passing his marks.'

She smiled. 'I will have to learn how to defend myself next time I come alone.'

'You won't be coming alone to the market, Anna. Not ever. And not after what I saw today.'

'He was just being...' she thought for a moment, pursing her lips. 'Nice?'

John rolled his eyes. 'Some call it nice, I call it disrespectful.'

'It was quite fun coming here. Quite the adventure.' She tried to cheer him up.

'Oh my sweet lady,' he held her hand and squeeze it lightly. 'You always see the good in things, don't you?'

'That's something my mother taught me.' She looked down at their feet, her expression troubled, causing loose strands of hair to fall apart from her simple hairdo.

'Did she really?' John furrowed his brow. Mrs Smith was not a woman of such positivity, or was she?

'Elsie,' she answered as if she knew exactly what he was thinking.

XXXXXX

'Come on, Mary. Eat everything.' Anna sat besides her, bowl in one hand, a spoon in the other. 'Please...'

'I can't eat anymore,' the dark haired woman sighed, placing a hand on her wheezing chest.

'Mary, please. You have to work to get better. Your children need you.'

She smiled weakly at Anna. 'How's Sarah? Please, give her to me?'

Anna sighed as she rested the bowl on the little nightstand. She took the baby from the cot and placed her in the mother's arms.

Mary smiled down at her child. 'Do you know that cot belonged to John? And then to me and so on….'

'I didn't know,' Anna said, interested.

'Two babies died in there. John and I had two other sisters, you know. They both died in their first year.'

'I'm sorry.'

'If my baby dies, she'll die in her mother's arms.'

'Mary, don't say that.' Anna placed her hand on her shoulder. 'You have to believe that your baby will be fine.'

'It's the truth, Anna. My little girl is not growing up.' Mary cried softly as she rocked the baby in her arms. 'But it's alright. It'll be the best for eveyone.'

'Please Mary, don't...' Anna rose from her place on the end of the bed and sat beside Mary, wrapping an arm around her shoulders. Soon, Mary's head was resting on Anna's chest as she cried over her daughter. The baby's breathing was slow and difficult. Anna could see how her little face twitched every now and then, begging for more air to come in her smalls lungs, but every time that was denied, and Sarah slept uncomfortably. For a moment Anna sat there in silence, praying. She remembered when her brother died. It had been horrible, but she didn't see it happening. Now she felt like a spectator, waiting for the final curtain to open on this morbid and miserable show. If only she could close her eyes and avoid seeing Death's performance. But she couldn't. This was life, and she would not miss any of it. She would stay until the end for Mary and John's sake.

XXXXXX

'How are they?' John asked some time later, when Anna came from the room.

'They are both sleeping now.'

John sighed. 'Did she eat?'

'Not everything...she asked me to put Sarah in her arm and that's what I did.'

'You did well….God knows when it'll be the last time she'll be able hold her babe,' he sighed heavily, walking towards her.

'How are they?' Anna asked, looking over to the older children who were playing on his mattress.

'They are actually quite excited about sleeping here,' he smiled, taking her hands.

'That's good. At least they don't really understand what's happening.'

He pulled her to him and kissed her cheek lovingly. 'Thank you,' he whispered.

'Whatever for?'

'For taking care of my sister.'

Anna shook her head and smiled slowly at him. 'You don't have to thank me. I do care for her, for all of you.'

Then she faced the children. Letting go of his hands, she put a serious look on her face. 'Isn't it a bit late for such little people to be making so much noise?' She chuckled when they all turned silent and looked at her with wide eyes. 'What's your nighttime ritual?'

They all looked inquisitive.

John smiled. 'Mary scrubs them hard. Feet, hands, faces...ears.'

'But pa, Anna's not aunty Mary, is she?' William pouted.

'I am not but I hope to fill her boots as well tonight,' Anna winked.

'I can wash myself with my own spit,' the boy affirmed, bringing his hands to his mouth. 'I just need to spit on my hands and scrub myself.'

'That's nasty,' Elsa grimaced.

John rolled his eyes. 'Water will do. I'll fill the jug.'

He filled the big jug with water, half boiling and half cold. When he checked it it was at a perfect temperature. Together, Anna and John undressed the three children and scrubbed them hard, washing away all bits of dirt they could find. They tried to act as normal as they could, even though their minds were on that dark and old room, where a mother and a baby slept, unsure if either would wake up in the morning.

The children were fresh and tired and Anna sprinkled them with a bit of her lavender scent before John told the usual story at bedtime. They slept on his mattress and he slept on the floor, right in between the children and Anna.

When he woke up in the morning, his arm was over Anna's waist, and she was breathing into his chest, her nose pressed to the skin of his neck. He should have known this would happen. He had dreamed about her again, but this time her smell was even stronger and he could actually feel the warmth of her own skin on his. He thought about backing away from her, but his proper thoughts weren't as strong as his feelings. So he tightened his grip around her and she sighed in her sleep, pleased and peaceful. It was still early, the sun was hardly up, and he decided to just allow himself this pleasure for a few minutes more. Soon, she would be his like this, every night and every day and he wouldn't have to think about propriety anymore. She would be his and holding her while she slept would be the most perfect and proper act ever. One day, he would wake up next to her and she would be naked under their covers, after a night of passion and undying love.

That day would come sooner than he ever dreamed possible. It would come in less than one month. Indeed, life can change drastically in the space of thirty days...some people don't take that long to die...Mother and daughter wouldn't take two weeks.

Next Chapter: John is heartbroken with the death of his sister and his little niece and Anna tries her best to keep the promises she made to Mary in her deathbed. Later, Mr and Mrs Smith have a face to face with Anna and she tells them she knows everything about hers and Elsie's past. The maid will certainly be in trouble after that.

Thank you for reading :)