January 27
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Rabbits hate me.
Ferrets hate me.
(Demon) dogs hate me.
And apparently, cats hate me.
I don't know what I did wrong! I like animals! Really! So what if I tend to accidentally-almost-maim them? I don't do it on purpose!
Er, well... Okay, so I do maim rabbits on purpose, but that's only because they're delicious and it's not like there's a ramen stand in the middle of the forest! (I've checked.)
But I don't even mess with any of the others! Honest!
Er, actually, now that I think about it... I did kinda insult this one ferret and it got real mad. Then later, I insulted it again and the evil thing attacked my face.
... And I guess there was that dog I saved from bandits and then had to jump off a bridge with when the bad guys turned out to be really strong... In my defense, I didn't even notice the waterfall. But noooo! It was all growly this. Growly that. Don't look at me. Grr grr grr.
And then there was the whole Demon Dog Incident...
Okay. I guess I can see why they don't like me. But I haven't messed with any cats!
... I think?
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Signed ~ Uzumaki Naruto, your (apparently) despised author.
(Believe it?)
P.S. Oh. I forgot about Tora... And (literally) Every. Single. Time. We've ever met.